Allegedly the Brits are planning something really fun for August.
Barclays is poised to eliminate approx 7% of the firm’s global headcount in a bid to dramatically cut costs following a difficult 2nd quarter.
Verified by several highly-placed employees. Redundancies are expected in August. The cuts will impact Barclays Capital, across all regions, but perhaps with greater emphasis in US and UK. It is not known if there are also plans for redundancies in other divisions of Barclays.
Unfounded or verified?
i love the smell of layoffs in the morning
I was cut from Barclays after one week of training, but within the week I was hired and given a raise at my new employer.
~*~*~ Jefferies Analyst ~*~*~
I hear the ceiling is leaking urine below the Structured Tax floor on North Colonnade.
- Russian barmaid at Corney & Barrows
the beauty of working at jefferies is that you can be very confident that any girl that wants you likes you for who you are, not for what you have achieved, or have to offer!
- Jefferies campus recruiter
If anybody wants the real scoop, you can find me in the last stall of the men’s room at a certain tavern. Kick me in the face so I know its you.
So, if you work for Barclays in the USSR do you get to cut them? I only ask because things seem to always work a little differently over there.
Yes.
@7. brilliant. roadtrip to Branson!
as a Brit boss of a team of mostly US workers, i just wanted to let “y’all” know of the great and exquisite pleasure i extract from canning fat-headed americans.
I actually work at Barclays and this news seems a little suspect because I can report that morale here is very high. We all go for group jogs in the morning as part of our team-building.
Note: by “Barclays” I mean “Jeffries”, by “morale” I mean “self-loathing” and by “jog” I mean “Egg McMuffin”.
In Soviet Russia, the tavern and bathroom are essentially the same thing.
- Minetta’s Int’l Operations Head
Americans are all fat and lazy. You deserve everything you get.
Lazard quant
Dickhead @10: The plural of “y’all” is “all y’all”. As in, “All y’all” Brits woiuld be speaking German if it wasn’t for some of the ancestors of the Americans you are happy to see canned. Examine your motives.
@14 (assclown) please don’t try and pretend that there is any formal linguistic structure to your hick language.
I would be surprised if this was true. My area is hiring like its 1999. Mostly replacements but some added headcount as well
Of course for saying this I will be the first one canned
Ps dealbreaker needs an iPhone app- it’s blocked by our proxy
@15
“try AND pretend”
Seriously?
@14…read a bit of ww2′s end moron. who got to berlin first.
-barcap 2yr gtee
@18
(At the risk of further derailing comment section)
The Germans were about 15 miles from British soil, and London would have eventually fallen (though I will say the Brits back then were tough as nails for holding out as long as they did) had the US not intervened.
If the Brits beat the Americans to Berlin, it was only because of help from the Americans that they were still in the race.
Watch these yankee equity salesclowns hit another Vietnam
- Sir Montgomery, Global Head of Lehman/BarCap merger
@18/19 – The Russians made it to Berlin first.
@19 – 15 miles? So they were partway across the channel?
@16 what area is this?
@21 21 miles across the channel from calais to dover england
Wait, how many miles from Minetta’s are you? I will be in the first booth on the right drinking a Zima and smoking Marlboro Ultra Lights. Slide me a Pink Panty Dropper so I know its you.
Meet me on the corner of Adam Clayton and Danny Glover. I’ll be the big guy wearing Timberlands. Punch me in the face so I know its you.
According to our computers, we cut 7% of OUR workforce, we will have no one in our office!
-Rebellion Research Quant
Under Stalin’s command, battle bulge you
Shake shack and Curry palace welcome your resume for delivery boy, if you have a certain look and can make ‘speical sauce’ on food delivered to bankers.
@16 Totally, an DB iphone app would be awesome. None of this safari shit.
@16/29 iPhone app? Really? Bet you produce a lot of significant firm revenue. Just sayin….
BEEP WHIRRR
A STRANGE GAME.
THE ONLY WINNING MOVE IS NOT TO PLAY.
NO PLAY, LIKE USER/SGREENBERG’S JDATE PROFILE
MEET ME AT RADIOSHACK. I WILL BE BEEPING AND WHIRRING AND FSCK’ING A TANDY 1000
Theres a junior college for everybody and a job for same at Jefferies.
@31 Star .. is that the Radio Shack next to Minettas? or the one in Soviet Russia where the Shack Radios you? Just curious.
– Guy who likes to push his luck but also likes to kill 2 birds with 1 stone wherever possible.
Plus, I know for a fact that Bess moves on from earlier posts, rarely goes back to view them, and hence I feel very brazen in my verboten post! so there…
Brits say one thing do another then shame whoever they are abusing. Sobriety, strength, serenity.
Cheers
More layoffs? Somebody text the little lady to return her overpriced birthday present,cancel the vacation with leech friends and enroll birdbrain kids in public school. Maybe someone will hire me at Jeffries so we can keep the house.
You misspelled Jefferies. Its ok though we all make mistakes. You’re hired.
- Jefferies Chairman/CEO
Phil Mickelson! Awesome tag.
is barcap still in business?
@35 Amen, brother.
@12/@27 I laughed
@15 Well kumbaya guvnor!