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Emma Lasry Explains “Closet Bitch”

“It wasn’t meant to be like, one of these songs that showcases your voice,” she told Daily Intel of her debut track, the video for which she’s removed from YouTube. Also: “Everyone assumes I don’t do anything and I just spend my father’s money. My dad does investing for a living, so he’s like, ‘You’re my investment. If you make it big, you’ll be able to pay me back.'” [DI]

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39 Responses to “Emma Lasry Explains “Closet Bitch””

  1. Anonymous says:

    That’s a big IF.

    Other than that I have no concerns.

  2. trojan says:

    joaquin phoenix is cutting an album?

  3. NakedShort says:

    I love when people say like a lot when you are talking to them. Its like not annoying at all and you like get to know right away how big of a retard like the person you are like talking to is.

  4. Anonymous says:

    She’s an investment, and I’m short the junior tranche of Lasry-backed securities (LBS).

  5. Nair Remover says:

    He better look after this investment- its going south!

  6. Emma's Bearded Clam says:

    “It wasn’t meant to be like, one of these songs that showcases your voice”, says Emma, “it was like more of like you know, me to try to like get a guy as I am fugly and like can grow a full beard”.

  7. Emma's Bearded Clam says:

    @trojan – /thread

  8. Anonymous says:

    The face, “my mom drank MD 20/20 while she was pregnant,” but the eye brows say, “we’re attacking from the north”.

    • Guest says:

      this poster “Merkin” is a particular piece of shit,

      “Emma’s Bearded Clam” is another loser who’s probably never been laid.

    • Guest says:

      this poster “Merkin” is a particular piece of shit,

      “Emma’s Bearded Clam” is another loser who’s probably never been laid.

  9. Musical Minsky says:

    Have no fear Kenny, no doubt some rating agency thinks she’s AAA platinum record material, which means that some German investors with questionable musical taste (which is not hard to imagine) will snap her up at 100 cents on the dollar. Now if we can only find a nice Frecnhman to sell it in fabulous fashion….hmmm…

  10. guest says:

    @gherkin tsk, tsk.

  11. Anonymousse says:

    @ MM. Get Paulson to jump on the other side of the transaction and we’re good to go.

  12. Chique says:

    Who’s gonna do the bitch in the closet?

  13. Guest says:

    Damn. So many awesome posts today. I got some catching up to do.

  14. Guest says:

    I need an “I’m short your daughter” T-shirt

  15. Anonymous says:

    I do it all for you.

  16. Anonymous says:

    I totally wish Marc was my Dad. When I was 18 my Dad was all like go to university and get a good education so you can like make your own way in the world. ewwwwww!

  17. Anonymous says:

    I totally wish Marc was my Dad. When I was 18 my Dad was all like go to university and get a good education so you can like make your own way in the world. ewwwwww!

  18. Mattkelleher says:

    I’m short the senior.

    MBA>CFA

  19. Lord Humongous says:

    Or the gimp in the box?

  20. Milksteak says:

    I was going to correct you and say Aaa, but I think we’ll use the somewhat less meaningful rubber stamp of approval in this case.

  21. Anonymous says:

    She left off the rest of hte quote: “You’re my investment. If you make it big, you’ll be able to pay me back. And if you don’t, you’ll make the money the only way you can: on your back.”

  22. Shameful_Loser says:

    Bess,

    Where are you? You need to comment on Citadel lowering its fee.

  23. trojan says:

    You know what I got when I was 18? Oh, it was a banner fucking year at the old Trojan family. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said, “Hey, smoke up Trojan!” Alright? So go home and cry to your Daddy. Don’t cry here, okay?

  24. trojan says:

    fucking disqus. above @pmco

  25. Principal Vernon says:

    I’m ashamed to admit I had to think about that one for a minute. Nice pull.

  26. Guest says:

    With that face on your belly is more likely.

  27. Guest says:

    Waaat this was a witty reply @Perkins-Maxwell!

  28. Anonymous says:

    I first though the Troj was picking on me and could not understand his wrath but then I put “I got a carton of cigarettes” into Goggle and The Breakfast Club came up. Gotta love Google…..

  29. Shelly says:

    My Dad “Does investing for a living” too.

  30. guest says:

    But can you sing?

  31. KingKaiser says:

    No, but that didnt stop Emma either

  32. Emma's_Bearded_Clam says:

    Neither did Emma’s lack of hot. Proof that even tranvestites have promising careers in music.

  33. streethockey says:

    this is what happens when you have money and people around you tell you that the most horrific video perhaps in the history of mankind is, well, really great!

  34. twoferfighting says:

    Years ago I worked for Marc and knew his family. He is a stand up guy and the kids are great. Like anything else…if you like it listen…if you don’t move on. Marc is a self made guy and now his daughter is taking some risk herself…give her credit.

  35. Guest says:

    I don’t know the Lasrys but I saw Marc at a Wharton HF conference a couple years ago.

    Emma is a talented singer (see her live performance- the band is better than most acts on the radio).

    The typical douchebags on this site and Gawker have charted new lows in their mean-spirited, hateful, unfunny comments directed at a young 18 year old girl. Yeah you guys are big shots hiding behind the anonymity of an internet message board. I’m sure your own looks rival that of Abercrombie models. Right…

  36. Guest says:

    I don’t know the Lasrys but I saw Marc at a Wharton HF conference a couple years ago.

    Emma is a talented singer (see her live performance- the band is better than most acts on the radio).

    The typical douchebags on this site and Gawker have charted new lows in their mean-spirited, hateful, unfunny comments directed at a young 18 year old girl. Yeah you guys are big shots hiding behind the anonymity of an internet message board. I’m sure your own looks rival that of Abercrombie models. Right…

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