Remember Michael Kevin Lallana? Name not ringing a bell? Okay try this: remember the Northwestern Mutual Investment Services employee who in January allegedly somehow got his jizz in a bottle, left it on a colleague’s desk where she drank it, got sick, and threw it out? And then a couple months later, allegedly released more “material” in the same lady’s drink, which she again drank, but this time paused to ask herself, “Am I crazy, or does this water have semen in it,” before sending it off to a lab to verify her suspicions? He’s pleaded not guilty to six misdemeanors.
Naturally, there is a video, wherein the victim’s lawyer Gloria Allred notes, “My client doesn’t want to reveal her name at this time or make a statement. However I will say that she is the hero in this case. She suspected that something was very wrong, with the water in her water bottle and she had the good judgment to take it to a laboratory to be tested. Had it not been for her actions in this case, the suspect might have never been apprehended…While the victim is horrified and disgusted, she is, nevertheless, willing to cooperate.”
*Not guilty
Not what she expected when she asked for Vitamin Water.
Lights on, socks off, Voss water bottle
I’m sorry, I didn’t know I couldn’t do that.
‘Water-bottling’ is the new killing it.
Good Girl….in that she recognized the taste of course.
Actually, she did; she asked for XXX
Isn’t that the same lawyer that represented the woman who got Mark Hurd fired for not having an affair with her (or something)?
I’d put DNA in her pipes
Yes. The same lawyer who extorted millions from Tiger Woods and who represents Debrahlee Lorenzana. The same lawyer who hates men. The same lawyer whose daughter is also an attorney representing Michael Lohan and the Salahis, aka the White House Party Crashers.
Gloria follows the money.
Sweet Dee?
Sweet Dee?
She gets all the top cases. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gloria_Allred#Career
‘The Gang Makes Liquid Romance All Over the Place”
If the water bottle doesn’t fit you must acquit!
it’s “enhanced” water
Sounds like a charming family.
Knowing what semen tastes like is the new heroism
What a court demo that would be!
“She has also represented cases against the Boy Scouts of America for excluding an eleven year old girl named Katrina Yeaw, something she referred to as gender apartheid, and a case against the former Sav-On Drugstore chain for having both a boys and a girls toy section.”
Wait, why doesn’t she see the humor in slipping just a little semen into a coworker’s water bottle?
Is it illegal to put your sperm on another person’s water bottle?
well now she knows how Snapple’s best stuff on earth just got better
Vitamin Enhanced
Vitamin Enhanced
So that’s the reason chicks love smart water
That dude is a keeper… he seems very faithful.
Doesn’t this all seem a little too convenient. First, what lab would she go to?
The easiest would be a hospital lab, but one would need a referral from a doctor. If she went to her doctor complaining of feeling ill, this could be a possibility.
Labs test for what they are told what to test for to find or exclude a particular element.
If a private lab did find sperm, how would one “figure out” whose sperm it would be. Even if DNA was obtained, how would the lab know who to test to match the DNA? Did they test all the males at that particular Northwestern Mutual branch or office?
This woman knew who to target.
Agreed. Most likely she is familiar with the taste of this guy’s jizz.
She probably was “servicing” him then saved it in her mouth, only to spit it in here water bottle. Then send off said water bottle to be tested for “weird taste”.
She probably was “servicing” him then saved it in her mouth, only to spit it in here water bottle. Then send off said water bottle to be tested for “weird taste”.
From his wife’s perspective, voluntary adultery is probably more ‘palatable’ than involuntary fluid molestation. Not a bad defense.
dealbreaker writes:
“…jizz in a bottle, left it on a colleague’s desk where she drank it, got sick, and threw it out?”
She got sick? From a little taste? If that’s true at least half the women in America are marked for death.
New Vitamin water flavor —Water with pulp
She must be a pro at swallowing to know how semen taste like.
Watered down semen at that.
She must have been drinking from a Sigg water bottle or something else opaque not to see the guy’s man juice floating in there.
Possible marketing names include: Evicum, Poland Splooge, Jizzani and Ejacufina
semen has no taste once you mix it with (1) saliva and/or (2) water.
just saying…
- ex-SAC trader
you are an idiot. just because you don’t have the brains or imagination to come up with the solution doesn’t mean she targeted him.
The lab she sent the sperm to is not the on who identified Llalana’s sperm. They just told her it was sperm. Then she contacted the POLICE who are the ones who discovered it was his. They knew to test him since both incidents happened at different branches, and the Llanala was present at both branches during the incident.
P.s. you’re a f*cking retard.