Ever find yourself at a bar like Turtle Bay in midtown, buying brightly colored shots that essentially have no alcohol in them and that most people past (the first semester of) their freshman year in college wouldn’t be caught dead drinking, and stop to ask your buddies a serious question which is, “You think our waitress wants a piece of this? She’s been throwing me vibes alllll night.”? You have Bryan Auld and Dominic D’Aleo to thank. The former JPM and Bear analysts co-founded Auld D’Leo in 2007, which “outsources the services of shot girls to bars in Manhattan” and that shot girl really does like you! Well, she’s actually taking pity on you/wants your money, but same diff/no diff. “For a lot of guys this could be the only time all night a girl comes up and talks to them,” said Giovanna Coluccio, one of 25 shot girls. In exchange for speaking with you, the ladies take home $300-$600 a night in tips (in addition to 25 cents per drink, which cost 15 cents to make and sell for $3 or $4). According to the co-founders, profit has increased 16% since 2007 and the ladies take business very seriously, following a list of “best practices” given to them on their first day of work.
“Personality is key. Physical looks alone will only get someone so far. Be as friendly, personable, upbeat as possible. Customers will feed off your energy.” These are the first rules in a list of best practices, or the shot-girl bible each girl memorizes before she picks up her tray. The list of 10 best practices of the trade was created by Mr. Auld. The entire stable of ladies meets weekly to discuss and tweak the curriculum of selling practices.Their product is recession proof. It’s all about micro-sales, selling something extremely cheap in mass volume. This is best practice number six: “Do not spend too much time with a patron or group of patrons. The foundation of our strategy relies on high-volume sale propositions. We must walk the fine line of being quantity salesman, while giving respect to those who purchase our items.” Among the other rules in the shot-girl bible: Never give up and always be the friendliest girl in the room. You’re not selling cheap liquor, you’re selling flirtation.
Let’s take a look at the practices in action.
Giovanna Coluccio was none too happy to be tipped with a fruit roll-up. “We’ll hit an ATM later,” a 23-year-old guy wearing a button-down and a backpack told her, curiously free of the requisite sheepishness that tipping an attractive woman with a fruit snack should conjure. Ms. Coluccio, also 23, stayed cool. She smiled, flipped her layered brown hair and walked away, a tray of candy-colored drinks balanced in her arms, a roll of cash tucked in her apron and the roll-up stashed in her pocket. In her wake, Backpack slurred to his buddy: “I’m gonna marry that girl.” Backpack later bought four rounds of shots from Ms. Coluccio. He tipped her $30 in cash.
Bonus Watch: Morgan Stanley 2nd year top bucket – Family Size box of Fruit Roll-ups. 2nd bucket – pack of Fruit Stripe gum
what this market really needs is a “huge breasts and a glass filled to the brim with whiskey” girls.
Be the hyena .
Sounds like Man Hands finally found her calling:
“Her secret weapon is her inordinately large hands on a petite and pretty frame.
When a group of guys waver over a round of drinks, she proposes a wager. “If my hands are bigger than yours, you’re buying.”
They take the bet. They buy the shots.”
The oldest profession still works a treat.
Don’t tell me you need an MBA for this.
I can easily cut out that 15 cent overhead of making the shots.
-Michael Lallana
As an employee of this firm, you WILL make a million dollars within 3 years. It’s not a question of whether you’ll become a millionaire working here, it’s a question of how many times over. Running shot girls is the NKI.
My Bonobos get me free fruit roll-ups 60% of the time, all the time.
With a name like D’Leo, I am shocked, *SHOCKED*, to discover he worked for Bear.
That sucks. UBS top bucket got a large bag of sour skittles that vests over three years.
Rule 17: If a customer starts to show you how a one-armed man counts his change, move on to the next customer.
Rule 18: If a customer starts a conversation with, “You know, I have a MBA from…” smile but do not guffaw, chortle, snicker, etc…
Rule 19: Even if he requests it, never pull a clients finger.
I’m going to start a similar firm partnered with Ray Dalio. However, the females will talk incessantly about manolo blahnik shoes, while bitching about their periods, an agitating yeast infection, and whether or not Dalila took too much ‘brow off with the last waxing. They’ll leave for 5 minutes, only to return with more shots and a slight against you for not remembering what tone their natural hair color is.
what the fuck does that mean you wanker?
It means that Bear had the best pedigree on the street, and I can’t believe they let a dirty Italian walk through their hallowed halls.
You sound like a regular at these venues
Temporary tattoos are the new killing it.
-Man de la Zebra
Tits > MBA > Cat Fancier’s Association > CFA??
An excellent article. It reminds me why I hate almost everybody.
Would they consider employing black girls with big asses to serve Purple Drank in styrofoam shot glasses?
Paging Debrahlee: your new calling just called.
pic #1 yes, no, yes (Eli w/extended forefinger), no
pic #2 no, no, good demo, no
F@*k the shot glasses, give me pussy!!!
Better than “Cash bonus that you won’t see for a year”…. amiright?
Can I just do a shot out of her pussy?
To become a member of Bear Stearns you’ve got to be one hundred per cent Italian so they can trace all your relatives back to the old country.
big hands, HUGE vagina
Those chicks would totally kill it if that was the night that the talent roster from Cash Money Records rolled in.
I never carry cash especially because I would be tempted in those places. Now if we can figure out how to place a card swipe between her breasts, then maybe……
Honestly, purple drink isn’t a proper noun. That’s kind of the entire point.
Though I did laugh a bit.
You are not alone.
That’s not a bad idea actually. Pretty easy, technically. Only real concern is the whole molestation/prostitution laws. If you can get around that you’d be rich.
Whaaaat? The shot girls don’t ACTUALLY like me. I am just absolutely crushed. Oh well…. I hope Destiny and Savannah and, uh, DebrahLee and the rest of those nice girls at the Spearmint Rhino will console me as I try to pick up the emotional pieces of my life.
HELLO? hello-o-o-o-o……
In soviet russia, bar shots you?
That’s just a big bowl of wrong
Not true.
-Token WASP
Goldmans need to hire these girls out to send to thier clients in a PR effort to improve their client-focussed image.
I am not sure about all this broker talk but the girls are HOT at TURTLE BAY!!!!!
My uncle got a bad case of NK VD on R&R after Inchon.
test comment.
“It’s all about micro-sales, selling something extremely cheap in mass volume…You’re not selling cheap liquor, you’re selling flirtation.” So, they’re selling blue balls with a complimentary side of cheap ass alcohol. Superb.
Pfft! I get blue balls for free all the time.