In our long and highly scientific study into the lives of Harbinger Capital couple Phil and Lisa Falcone, one thing we’ve determined is that Lisa, God’s gift to us, is not your typical hedge fund wife. For instance, most of these women would not commandeer a conference room at their husband’s office blasting music with the lyrics directing “bitches, throw your hands in the air,” citing 18 years of marriage and no pre-nup to mean “shared family office.” Most of them would not hire “little people” for their daughters’ birthday, or bring a piano-playing pig into the house or dance on a table in view of photographers. In sum, most of these women play by the rules, figuring that’s the price they’ve paid, whereas Lisa lives by the motto “I do what I want.”
One of the things Lisa has most notably wanted to do, which her fellow Hedge Fund Wives will not, is take an out of the box approach to fashion. Gladiator outfits? Yes, please. Mermaid Chic? Don’t mind if I do. Slutty Peacock? Bring. It. On. And while the fact that Phil clearly loves Lisa for who she is and has no interest in forcing her to act like one of them should be refreshing, some people have still questioned how he is comfortable with these get-ups, wondering if they attract too much attention and scare of potential and existing investors, whose hands must all times. What is the deal here? A profile on Phil in the latest issue of Bloomberg Markets that touches on his early life sheds some light.
Philip Falcone left his hometown of Chisholm in northern Minnesota’s rusting Iron Range in 1980 in the passenger seat of a 12-year-old Mercury Cougar that cost $150. Neil Sheehy, from nearby International Falls, had offered Falcone a ride to Harvard University, which had recruited both of them to play hockey for the Crimson. The car stalled in front of Falcone’s house, and Sheehy had to restart it on a hill while Falcone’s mother and one of his sisters sobbed their goodbyes. “It’ll be all right, Mrs. Falcone; it’ll be all right,” Sheehy recalls telling Caroline Falcone as the car chugged to life and headed east. Phil was the youngest of nine children and had grown up poor. His mother worked in a shirt factory, and his father never made more than $14,000 a year as a superintendent at a local utility.
Falcone rode to Cambridge, Massachusetts, with his feet on the dashboard because Sheehy had packed a skate-sharpening machine on the floor of the front seat, Bloomberg Markets magazine reports in its November issue. Halfway there, the roof liner came loose and showered the young men with fiberglass insulation that stuck to them as they sweated in the late summer heat.
After recovering from the initial shock, Falcone made himself something of a campus don. Hockey teammates called him “Fashion Phil” because he cared so much about his clothes, Olson says. He had a blue, three-piece suit that he wore often, and he always wore stylish shoes.
Of course! He doesn’t object to the outfits because he himself is the mastermind behind them. He has always had a flair for fashion but being a big time investor, can’t color outside the lines with his own attire. So he looks to Lisa (aka his muse) to trot out his creations. When she came out of her closet/bar wearing the gladiator outfit he didn’t have a “kill me now” moment– it was more like “I’ve outdone myself.”
The same profile touches on some discontent among Harbinger investors, over the fact that Falcone has “changed the focus of the fund” with the wireless network he’s building, whereas “they thought they were putting money into a hedge fund that traded securities that were easy to buy and sell.” It will be interesting to see how they feel about the long-term plan to turn the firm into a purveyor of couture gowns.
Bess you can suck my dick as your bonus
Bess, what’s with the stipper hours lately? The market is almost closed and you have your first post of the day.
Not again. I take it you are that “soon to be graduated senior that only bangs >=8′s”.
Phil Falcone brings in a shipment of drugs every week, no-one brings him down, why?
Not only that but all of her recent posts suck wang big time!
Its probably the goddamn servers/IT department (flunkies) that have things so jacked up over there that she can’t post. Its probably too late but can one of you masters of the universe figure out a way for me to short Breaking Media?
Comment removed is the new killing it, you lazy bitch.
What did I tell you? I said put something nice on. You look like a busted Daytona stripper in that shit. I don’t want no pussy-getting-wet dresses for this cookout. This needs to be a normal evening outfit that regular people would wear.
Bess, are your knees ok today?
Sometimes I have to, you know, meet with people during the day, occasionally do stuff for myself and so on and so forth, since it’s not as though I can actually take a day off.. Wouldn’t be that noticeable if this weren’t a fucking one woman show wherein I’m doing everything myself. I still manage to bang out on average ten or so posts a day for you though so maybe you should get off my ass?- your slave (who pledges to do better)
Dear investors,
As you all know by now, I came up from humble upbringings. Well I came to realize that you have all had a silver spoon in your mouths since day one. I decided to enact a no redemptions clause that is back dated to yesterday. I have also transferred the money to an un-named offshore bank, so now you will never get your money back. To cheer you up, I have been designing clothes that one would wear, especially if they want to change from lane 2 to lane 3 or bowl in style. To manage my amassed fortune, I have hired this senior that likes to do favors by banging my wife, while I bask in the sun eating a pig roast.
Additionally, I hired “little people” to rip off all of your Bentley hood ornaments, and good luck getting those replaced now. I was tired of people telling me what to do and have decided to follow wife’s mantra to life.
In closing, I wish you all well on your endeavors to amass a fortune from nothing, because if I can do it so can you. I am off to Argentina (no extradition bitches), to live like a king, while my wife and I design clothing for your children to lust after. So Arrivederci, or what ever they say in Argentinean.
-P. Falcone
Living vicariously through your wife is the NKI.
Living vicariously through your wife is the NKI.
I would like to ‘bang you out’
Did I go too far there?
Phil: Hon, you can’t do mermaid-cum-peacock while carrying a miniature pig. You look like a mythical farm worker.
Also, to reiterate: Lights on. Like a night game’s worth of lights on.
Phil: Hon, you can’t do mermaid-cum-peacock while carrying a miniature pig. You look like a mythical farm worker.
Also, to reiterate: Lights on. Like a night game’s worth of lights on.
Having a pet pig and a pig for a wife is the NKI
For the same reason Steve Cohen will be released for running arms.
The reason he’ll be released is the same reason you think he”ll be convicted. He *does* rub shoulders with some of the most vile, sadistic men calling themselves leaders today. But some of these men are the enemies of *your* enemies. And while the biggest arms dealer in the world is your boss – the President of the United States, who ships more merchandise in a day than Stevie does in a year – sometimes it’s embarrassing to have his fingerprints on the guns. Sometimes he needs a freelancer like Steve to supply forces he can’t be seen supplying. So. You call him evil, but unfortunately for you, he’s a necessary evil.
your doing a fantastic job. i think we do need a Kouwe replacement so we at least have someone to chastise and berate for his poor penmanship. dealbreaker fall intern?
Lisa Marie Falcone = Bess with HF husband
I would let LMF molest me any time, any day.
Bravo sitcom in the making
I’m very very concerned.
This article claims the pig’s name is Wilbur. The Forbes said that the pig was named Pickles.
Are there two pigs? Do they rotate pig names based on days of the week? Somebody needs to get to the bottom of this.
I nominate you, especially with the “your” instead of “you’re” that you eloquently used.
Nag about Lisa marie all you want but “slutty peacock” is the inspiration for the couples-gamenight hit that brough the heat back my relation, big time…
you mean like blinding floodlights so you can’t see her or think or feel?
then yes.
The whole “you suck/I love you” thing disgusts me, but, I think all of us here who aren’t batshit insane would agree that, whatever they’re paying you, it’s not enough.
Fyi, I’ve just asked for a transfer to the Asian currency desk, so I can be in sync with you.
–Guest
The pig has two first names. Like Lisa Marie.
Bess,
How about getting you some help? Post a straight news story, and let us all take a crack at “Bessifying” it. You narrow it down to 10 or so, then the world gets to vote.
Bess, you complete me.
TRICK OR TREAT
TRICK OR TREAT
What about a pet SpiderPig?
the last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it
Personally, I blame MTV
Wilbur is his Christian name. The name on his birth certificate is Dac Kien.
Pickles is a pet name.
HTH HAND
I’ll do it. I’m awesome.
Don’t stop at a post man, there’s a whole series here!
Bess in the P.Diddy role, in the new series “Making the Blog.”
Hell, i’d watch.
Where are all the clients’ slutty peacocks?
What about the clients’ slutty-looking wives?
Damn you sir
I thought you were going to report on “Fashion Pickles.” I’m sure he looks great dressed in some pineapple slices and cherries at 400F for 2 hours.
Banging crazy chicks is another viable strategy for erudite junior investment bankers
I feel your pain, DISQUS doesn’t let me post remotely either.
“I’m gonna find those people that killed Mikey!”
i should probably just go and bang this falcone for the amount of pain the stupid harbiger fund has caused to my assets..
What’s a stipper?
But do you bang 8 and ups?
All a bit brutal… might want to move on to another topic as this one has been played out.
All a bit brutal… might want to move on to another topic as this one has been played out.