Archive for September 2010

From: [redacted]
Subject: I need a job! Help me guys!

Read more »

He loves a British accent as much as the next guy but you know what? That may not be enough. He’s had it up to his gleaming pate with this regulatory crap and somebody better figure out something and fast otherwise the Golden scrots are gone. Be a good bunch of boys and girls and take this warning seriously, as LB is deadly serious about it. Read more »

Okay, here’s what they’ve got so far, tell us what you think. Read more »

In our long and highly scientific study into the lives of Harbinger Capital couple Phil and Lisa Falcone, one thing we’ve determined is that Lisa, God’s gift to us, is not your typical hedge fund wife. For instance, most of these women would not commandeer a conference room at their husband’s office blasting music with the lyrics directing “bitches, throw your hands in the air,” citing 18 years of marriage and no pre-nup to mean “shared family office.” Most of them would not hire “little people” for their daughters’ birthday, or bring a piano-playing pig into the house or dance on a table in view of photographers. In sum, most of these women play by the rules, figuring that’s the price they’ve paid, whereas Lisa lives by the motto “I do what I want.”

One of the things Lisa has most notably wanted to do, which her fellow Hedge Fund Wives will not, is take an out of the box approach to fashion. Gladiator outfits? Yes, please. Mermaid Chic? Don’t mind if I do. Slutty Peacock? Bring. It. On. And while the fact that Phil clearly loves Lisa for who she is and has no interest in forcing her to act like one of them should be refreshing, some people have still questioned how he is comfortable with these get-ups, wondering if they attract too much attention and scare of potential and existing investors, whose hands must all times. What is the deal here? A profile on Phil in the latest issue of Bloomberg Markets that touches on his early life sheds some light. Read more »

  • 29 Sep 2010 at 9:28 AM

Opening Bell: 09.29.10

Morgan Stanley Third Quarter Estimates Reduced By Goldman Sachs (Bloomberg)
Morgan Stanley’s earnings-per-share estimate was reduced to 15 cents from 60 cents, analysts led by Richard Ramsden said in a note to clients dated yesterday. The analysts kept their “neutral” recommendation on the stock. “Investment bank earnings are likely to be soft in the third quarter 2010, as evidenced by Jefferies’ shortfall last week,” the analysts said. The largest adjustments are due to “muted activity” in fixed income and equities, they said.

Anti-austerity protests sweep across Europe (AP)
In Dublin, a man rammed a cement mixer into the gates of the Irish parliament Wednesday in an apparent protest at the country’s catastrophically expensive bank bailout. Written across the truck’s barrel in red letters were the words: “Toxic Bank Anglo.”

Bill Gross: Say Good-Bye To Double Digit Returns (CNBC)
In his investment outlook, Gross wrote that future investment returns will be “far lower” than the historical averages and a less levered hedge fund community, faced with lower yielding assets, will likely resign itself to “a high single-digit future…Some characterize it in biblical terms – seven fat years to be followed by seven years of lean,” he wrote.

US Said To Be Looking For A Way Out Of AIG (NYT)
Breaking away from A.I.G. will be a tough and complicated process, in part because of the insurance giant’s fragile state and in part because several parties jumped in to save the company in 2008 and used different forms of assistance. Officials working on the exit plan are seeking a way for the various rescuers to pull out without damaging one another’s interests in the company. Anyone have any suggestions? They’re open to ideas.

Icahn Folds In Vegas (NYP)
After picking up the bankrupt Fontainebleau Las Vegas on the cheap, the investor is now holding a fire sale at the massive unfinished casino resort. While the project, which is 70 percent complete, sits idle on the Las Vegas Strip, Icahn has started selling off beds, dressers, TVs and other furnishings, according to a source.

Obama As Comeback Kid Just Needs A Weaker Dollar (Bloomberg)
Simon Johnson: “What conventional wisdom misses is that we experienced a severe credit crisis of the kind more typically seen in recent decades in middle-income emerging-market countries. The U.S. can recover quickly — and jobs can come back much faster than expected — but only if the dollar now depreciates…The Obama administration is blamed for high unemployment — the result of a financial mania that was emerged long before it came to power. It would be a nice irony if, also through no fault of the administration, jobs return faster than expected as we head into the 2012 presidential election.”

Las Vegas hotel guests left with severe burns from ‘death ray’ caused by building’s design (DM)
Due to the concave shape of the Vdara hotel, the strong Nevada sun reflects off its all-glass front and directly onto sections of the swimming pool area below. The result has left some guests with burns from the powerful rays and even plastic bags have been recorded as melting in the heat. Chicago attorney Bill Pintas felt the power of the dangerous ray first hand last week. ‘It felt like I had a chemical burn. I couldn’t imagine why my head was burning,’ he said. ‘Within 30 seconds, the back of my legs were burning. My first though was, ‘Jesus, they destroyed the ozone layer!’ Read more »

  • 28 Sep 2010 at 7:45 PM

Write-Offs: 09.28.10

$$$ Druckenmiller Exit Marks ‘Old Normal’ End, Gross Says [BW]

$$$ But the best story comes from former Salem High hockey player (and General Electric Co. chief) Jack Welch, who threw his stick across the ice after a tough overtime loss. His mother marched into the locker room with an unforgettable lesson: “If you don’t know how to lose, you’ll never know how to win.” [Bloomberg]

$$$ NY Fed Looking into What Constitutes a Prop Trade [FBN] Read more »

  • 28 Sep 2010 at 5:18 PM

Meredith Whitney: You Better Hope For A Shitty Bonus

“When was the last time I wore my executioner’s mask on CNBC,” Meredith Whitney asked several of her employees this morning, sitting around a conference table at the MW Advisory Group’s offices in midtown. “It’s been a really long time,” “Oh gosh I don’t know,” “I can’t even remember,” her minions all chimed in at the same time. “What about my ball gag? Surely it hasn’t been so long since I brought that on, no?” she asked, even though she already knew the answer. “My spreader? The testicles clamps? THE TRUSS BAR?” she shouted, running through her list of go-to accoutrements. The minions shook their heads, not wanting to make eye contact, or tell the boss she’d gone soft.

“Ms. Whitney,” a voice on the intercom interrupted. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I see where you’re going with this and I just got an email from a producer at CNBC saying not to bring any gear, on the off chance you were planning something.

“Well, shit,” the Dollar Dom said dejectedly. “How are people supposed to know to fear me!?” Then, after composing herself: “Fine. That’s fine,” to no one in particular but more as a pep talk to herself. “I can bring the pain without it.” Read more »

  • 28 Sep 2010 at 4:37 PM

Layoffs Watch ’10: DE Shaw Cans 150 Employees

And if you thought it was just secretaries bearing getting the boot, think again! Read more »