September 2010

  • MBAs, News

    SEC Just Not That Interested In Confession Of Ponzi Schemer

    The SEC has a history of massive fuck-ups. We know this. But, to date, many of these fuck-ups have a logical explanation. Missing Madoff’s multi-billion dollar scam for years and years? Bernie was just such a “captivating storyteller” that they got “distracted.” The whole Allied Capital thing? They though it was that wily David Einhorn, […]

    / Sep 27, 2010 at 12:45 PM
  • News

    Mike Mayo Already Has His Outfit Planned For Friday’s Big Date With Vikram Pandit

    It’s common knowledge among womenfolk that when one has a big date or otherwise nerves-inducing event to attend, the best way to tame those butterflies is to wear something that makes you feel hot (and/or do some shots beforehand). When you look good you feel good and when you feel good you can focus on […]

    / Sep 27, 2010 at 10:49 AM
  • News

    David Tepper Narrows Down His Ideas About What To Do With Billions Of Dollars

    It might seem all fun and games but there is a downside to being a billionaire. Namely, the task of coming up with what to do with your shit-tons of money. It’s not that, at 53 years old, David Tepper hasn’t had plenty of time to think about how he might put his stacks of […]

    / Sep 27, 2010 at 9:55 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 09.27.10

    Treasury Said To Prepare AIG Exit, Repayment Plan (Bloomberg) The plan may be announced as early as this week or as late as never but regardless, just know their hearts are in the right place: The insurer’s objective is to “repay the taxpayers and position AIG, over time, as a strong, independent company worthy of […]

    / Sep 27, 2010 at 8:30 AM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 09.24.10

    $$$ The Abysmal Track Record Of Moody’s Mark Zandi [TBP] $$$ Bernanke: Economists Haven’t Delivered Recovery [CNBC] $$$ Lehman Artwork Auctioned Off [TSC]

    / Sep 24, 2010 at 6:15 PM
  • News

    FYI, Vikram Pandit Chose Not To Take A Salary Of More Than $1, Again

    Earlier we mentioned that after getting his hopes up vis-a-vis earning more than a buck a year, the Citi board had decided its commander in chief would not get a raise from his current salary. Such is not the case.

    / Sep 24, 2010 at 6:06 PM
  • News

    Ben Bernanke, Trendsetter?

    Ben Bernanke, December 16, 2009: “I’ve got a driver’s license, my American Express card, a debit card, a Jos. [A.] Bank card where I get my suits, I have a health insurance card. And then I have a variety of other cards, phone numbers, United Airlines, frequent flyer. And I have $45…$75…$85. I’m all set.”

    / Sep 24, 2010 at 5:27 PM
  • News

    Vikram Pandit To Remain $1 Man A While Longer

    The past couple years have been something of a kick the pants for Vikram Pandit and certainly not what he was expecting when he agreed to take on the role of Citi CEO in exchange for almost a billion dollars, plus the keys to his lemon, otherwise known as Old Lane. Previously a smiley, jolly […]

    / Sep 24, 2010 at 4:30 PM
  • News

    Former Lehman Brother On The Difference Between Fixed Income Guys And Equity Guys

    The culture of the employees, the trading floor [as depicted in Money Never Sleeps]…I thought all that was pretty good, though some of the machines looked funky. And those equity guys were portrayed very accurately, like the lugheads that that know their stories on a couple of [stocks]. At Lehman the difference between equity floor […]

    / Sep 24, 2010 at 3:59 PM
  • Communiqués, News

    Larry Robbins Sets New Standard For Quarterly Letters

    As we have discussed many times in the past, the letter to investors is an art form, especially in a down month/quarter/year. All the best shops know deflection of responsibility + rationale for losses is essential. Got your ‘nads ripped off and shoved down your throat? Naturally the explanation there is that it was due […]

    / Sep 24, 2010 at 2:45 PM
  • News

    Latest Iteration Of Tom Hudson’s Untamed Pirate Fetish Off To A Nice Start

    As you’re aware, late last year, Tom Hudson made the seemingly wise decision to distance himself from the Pirate Capital name and all that it stands for (including but not limited to ass-bleeding, cockminnow fights on the floor, the (spawn of) Michael Bolton, the fall-out associated from nailing the spawn of Michael Bolton, the AUM […]

    / Sep 24, 2010 at 12:32 PM
  • News

    Unfounded Rumor Of The Morning: Too Big To Fail Casting Nails Blankfein Role?

    Do not get your hopes up. This is completely unconfirmed. But:

    / Sep 24, 2010 at 10:14 AM
  • News

    David Tepper: “My Animal Spirits Are Awakened”

    Tepper: “You can’t take a chance on not being a little longer now, you gotta buy. That doesn’t mean I’m going balls to the walls– can you say that?” Joe Kernan: “You can say that. Balls to the walls. I’ll say it a couple times. Balls to the walls.” Tepper: “Balls to the walls. It’s […]

    / Sep 24, 2010 at 9:45 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 09.24.10

    Clinton Bemoans Scant Hedge Fund Support For His Global Initiative (Bloomberg) Clinton said he knew of only two hedge-fund firms represented at the Clinton Global Initiative annual meeting this year, which President Barack Obama will address today. He didn’t name the firms. “There should be more,” Clinton said in an interview on Bloomberg Television’s “Political […]

    / Sep 24, 2010 at 9:20 AM
  • News

    Forbes Rich List Provides Much Needed Pick-Me-Up For John Paulson

    His flagship fund, the Paulson Advantage Plus, was said to be down 11 percent for the year through September which can’t feel good, but today brought the news that he moved up over a dozen slots to clock in as the second wealthiest hedge fund manager in America, second only to George Soros. Also exciting […]

    / Sep 23, 2010 at 6:43 PM
  • News

    Confidential To Any Hedge Fund Managers Who Are Expecting To Have Bad News For Investors At Year End

    Don’t listen to your legal team, IR or other handlers when they recommend cleaning up a letter that starts out by saying, “Sac ripping. Ass bleeding. Clown facing. Donkey punching. All vivid descriptions of what has happened to Team [insert name of fund here] this month slash quarter slash oh fuck it, the whole damn […]

    / Sep 23, 2010 at 5:41 PM
  • News

    Recently Fired Bank Of America Employees Most Bummed About Not Getting To Party At One Of Worst Bars In New York

    As previously mentioned, layoffs went down at Bank of America Merrill Lynch earlier this week with the investment banking industry groups’ Associates and VP’s getting “hit hard.” Additionally, a round of cuts is said to have taken place in Tom Montag’s capital markets arm. Layoffs are, of course, of a terrible thing, generally filled with […]

    / Sep 23, 2010 at 4:53 PM

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