Archive for September 2010

  • 23 Sep 2010 at 9:29 AM

Opening Bell: 09.23.10

By Dealbreaker

Bill Gates Tops Forbes Ranking Of 400 Wealthiest Americans (Bloomberg)
With estimated assets of $54 billion. Warren Buffett ranks second in the U.S. with $45 billion, according to the list published yesterday. The number of list members whose wealth declined this year is 85 compared with 314 in 2009, while wealth increased for 217 members. The total worth of the 400 rose by 8 percent to $1.37 trillion, still below the 2008 total of $1.57 trillion.

Warren Buffett: We’re Still In A Recession (CNBC)
Warren Buffett tells CNBC that by his own “common sense” definition, the United States is “still in a recession. In a taped interview with Becky Quick, Buffett says, “I think we’re in a recession until real per capita GDP gets back to where it was before.” While Buffett continues to believe the U.S. will eventually emerge from its economic downturn, “We’re not gonna be out of it for awhile.”

SEC Blasted On Goldman Probe (WSJ)
At a Senate Banking Committee hearing Wednesday, Mr. Kotz was questioned about the timing of the Goldman suit. He responded: “It would strain credulity to think it was coincidental.” He added: “I can’t give you a conclusion right now, but it was suspicious.”

Boehner’s Business Ties Cut Both Ways (WSJ)
Mr. Boehner, a sharp dresser with a two-pack-a-day habit, sometimes gets referred to around Capitol Hill as Don Draper. “I’m still who I am. I’m a businessman. I can’t be something I’m not. No apologies. Zero,” Mr. Boehner said in the recent interview, smoothing his hair before heading to a political event…Addressing a perennial source of jokes, Mr. Boehner says his dark complexion is natural, similar to that of his mother and four (of 12) siblings. “I have never been in a tanning bed or used a tanning product,” Mr. Boehner said. His staff showed a high-school group photo where he has the darkest face in Moeller High’s all-male class.

Jack Welch: Obama Administration Is “Anti-Business” (CNBC)
The government should make it easier for companies to invest and expand but instead they are hampering business, according to Welch. “I still maintain that the economy’s been terrible and they have not done things to move the economy forward,” he said. “He’s there a month and he vilifies Las Vegas… he kills the hotel business,” Welch said.

Elizabeth Warren: No More “Fooling” People For Credit Firms (CNBC)
The intent of the new Consumer Financial Protection Bureau is not to make life tougher for banks but rather better for their customers, the organization’s czar, Elizabeth Warren, told CNBC. “The truth is I don’t care about the title. I want to get to work trying to get this agency going because that’s what middle class families need. We’ve got a broken market,” she said. “It’s a political assessment that I just have to say I don’t know and I don’t think much about it. The part I care about is getting the agency started.”

Katy Perry Kicked Off The Street (NYP)
On Monday, a clip from the November 3 episode of “Sesame Street” featuring Katy Perry singing a very vanilla version of her song “Hot N’ Cold” went viral and people went berserk.It seems that Katy’s cans were way too prominent for some parents. And now, TMZ is reporting that because of the influx of complaints (such as “my kid wants milk now”) “Sesame Street” producers have decided not to air the segment. Continue reading »

  • 22 Sep 2010 at 7:01 PM

Write-Offs: 09.22.10

By Bess Levin

$$$ Volcker: White House Not Anti-Business [FBN via HNM]

$$$ Geithner, GOP Trade Barbs Over The Economy [WSJ]

$$$ Obama’s kryptonite cuts to the very heart of the administration’s failings at a presidential economic town hall. [TDS] Continue reading »

  • 22 Sep 2010 at 6:29 PM

Paul Tudor Jones’ Flagship Down So Far This Year

By Bess Levin

Apparently Tudor’s BVI Global fund is only down .9 percent through September 20th but still, anything that potential puts the chickens in peril must be taken seriously. [Forbes]

  • 22 Sep 2010 at 4:36 PM

Chicken Upgrades RBS

By Bess Levin

As many of you know, some harsh words have been uttered in the direction of RBS around these parts, all of them deserved. The bank more or less blamed this innocent website for all its problems, be it billions in losses, failed food eating attempts, terrible holiday parties, the inability to pay bonuses for several years and a clogged toilet that resulted in the trading floor losing power for ten minutes and never once said thanks for giving its employees a momentary respite from the daily grind of fantasizing about a life that doesn’t so closely resemble hell. Having decided they’d gotten their last kick out of seeing their follies and foibles chronicled, in May management decided to block all access to Dealbreaker from inside the Pleasuredome. And it went both ways. We were finished. Done. Finito. Our final reflections on the Royalest Bank of Stamford were written down here and although we consider ourselves loving, generous people, some unkind things were said, none of which I’ve ever felt the need to take back. Until now.

Guys. I was wrong about RBS. That became stunningly clear this afternoon. They are not humorless fucksticks and in fact know a thing or two about having some fun. Continue reading »

  • 22 Sep 2010 at 3:20 PM

Wall Street Programmers Speak Out: No One Told Us This Job Would Be Boring

By Bess Levin

Andrew Montalenti is a former Morgan Stanley programmer. He’s also a rapeboredom survivor who after years of fear and shame feels strong enough to speak out and tell the world what was done to him. In 2006, Montalenti took a job with the bank as a software engineer after graduating from NYU. A friend had vouched for MS, telling Montalenti it was a great shop and that he “really liked it there.” And at first, Drew did too. The project he worked on was “exciting,” he liked the people there, it was great. But then something happened. Something so dark and so harrowing to this day it’s even difficult to speak of. I’m actually getting a lump in my throat as a type this, as I’m sure Monts did when telling it. In fact, hold on. Let’s give him a second to collect himself. Okay. Here’s what happened. (Please, do not read unless you’ve got a strong stomach because it gets quite graphic.)

But soon the work grew redundant, Mr. Montalenti said, and the problems he was asked to solve as part of his day-to-day responsibilities started to seem technically uninteresting. Like many other creatively inclined, intellectually ambitious programmers who took high-paying jobs on Wall Street after college, Mr. Montalenti found himself disillusioned and restless.

It’s truly astounding that no one has ever taken Morgan Stanely to task for this. Disgusting even, that they could get away with treating an employee in such a manner. It’s one thing to, for instance, insert foreign objects into an employee’s ass, piss in his mouth and and force him to wear women’s panties but failing to stimulate his mind is quite another. The sad thing is it’s an epidemic not just exclusive to MS. Up and down Wall Street, there are tens if not dozens of programmers being degraded in this fashion on a daily basis. Continue reading »

  • 22 Sep 2010 at 2:20 PM

SEC Investigating Hedge Fund Run By Two Blind Guys With A Sense Of Humor

By Bess Levin

Having no idea whether or not these two are innocent just gonna go to bat for them now saying the SEC should back the fuck off. These guys are alright, as is anyone who considers hiring Stan O’Neal for the laughs. Continue reading »

  • 22 Sep 2010 at 1:35 PM

Someone Finally Bought Jamie Dimon’s House

By Bess Levin


You’d think sleeping where Jamie Dimon hath slept would’ve been enough but no: the boy-toy CEO’s 13,500 square foot manse, which he bought in 2000 for $4.7 million, sat on the market for almost two and a half years, from the time he tried to sell it in April 2007 with an asking price of $13.5 million. James dropped it to $9.5 million and down to the bargain basement price of $6.5 million just several weeks ago. The buyer and accepted offer were not disclosed though presumably JD sealed the deal by throwing in the masterpiece pictured above, and a couplea busts cast in bronze. [CB]

  • 22 Sep 2010 at 12:55 PM

Larry Summers And Rahm Emanuel To Go Halvies On Bubble Wrap

By Bess Levin

The White House chief of staff is reportedly taking a page from Siesta Boy’s playabook and planning an exit in the next couple months, according to Bloomberg.

  • 22 Sep 2010 at 9:55 AM

Goldman Sachs Will Tell You Where You Can And Cannot Stick That

By Bess Levin

So! You’re an employee of Goldman Sachs and you want to date, mate or just rub up against one of your colleagues. In the wake of last week’s lawsuit by three woman against the bank, one of whom cited an incident several years back wherein a co-worker gave her an unsolicited groping after a company outing to Scores, there may be some confusion re: what’s consider cool and not cool by management. The great news is that no one at GS is looking to outright playa-hate. According to Heidi Moore, all the higher-ups ask is that you loop them in at the first stirring in your pants so they can evaluate on a case by case basis.

It’s a God that requires frequent confessionals, as one senior banker there explains: “There is a culture at Goldman which is very strong and clear, which is: it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you own up to them right away.” The firm’s dating protocols—by all accounts little-known—don’t ban dating within the firm but instead require employees to disclose their relationships to their direct manager, who can contact what one alum wryly calls “ the inappropriate-behavior SWAT team.”

Continue reading »

  • 22 Sep 2010 at 9:30 AM

Breaking: Ivy League Athletes Use Alumni Connections To Land Jobs On Wall Street

By Bess Levin


Penn defensive back Josh Powers likes playing football just fine but after he graduates plans to work on Wall Street. In fact, he already has a gig lined up with George Weiss Associates, having interviewed with the head of Weiss’s equity trading desk and getting “the thumbs up.” How did he accomplish this incredible feat? This morning, Bloomberg blows the lid off the story. Continue reading »

  • 22 Sep 2010 at 9:22 AM

Opening Bell: 09.22.10

By Dealbreaker

Summers’ Stature Means Obama Faces Tough Task Replacing Him (Bloomberg)
First off, Big Lar is irreplaceable. Having said that: among those whose names have been discussed is Anne Mulcahy, the former chief executive officer of Xerox Corp., two people familiar with administration discussions said. Other potential candidates include David Cote, CEO of Honeywell International Inc., and Richard Parsons, chairman of Citigroup Inc., according to one of the people.

UBS Americas Backs Infrastructure Bank Funded By U.S. (Reuters)
“Creating a national infrastructure bank is an idea whose time has come,” Robert Wolf, chief executive of UBS Americas, told at a Senate Banking Committee hearing called to explore alternatives for financing infrastructure projects. Wolf said Congress should establish a national grant and lending institution that would leverage private investment to finance transportation and other big-ticket projects like rail, road, water, broadband or airport upgrades. But, he said, it should not have private shareholders. Rather, Wolf said, it should be capitalized through the U.S. Treasury Department to avoid the problems experienced by hybrids Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac that were held by private shareholders but benefited from government sponsorship.

Head Of Basel Defends Proposed Bank Rules (NYT)
The new rules are “extremely demanding” and “radically transform the regulatory capital framework,” Nout Wellink, chairman of the Basel Committee on Banking Supervision and president of the Bank of the Netherlands, said at a meeting in Singapore of officials who regulate the financial industry. “If, prior to the crisis, banks had the levels of capital we are asking for, we likely would not have experienced such a deep crisis,” Mr. Wellink said, according to the text of his speech.

Phibro’s Hedge Fund Has A Tough Start (MarketWatch)
The Astenbeck Offshore Commodities Fund II lost 2.74% in August, leaving it down 11.94% so far this year, two hedge fund investors said on condition of anonymity.

Deconstructing the emotive language being used to justify a new tax on bonuses (eF)
They say “ludicrously high” and “unjustified” like those are bad things.

Waaaah Street (NYO)
“We’ve been ostracized. I went to jury duty about a year ago, and when I said I’m in investment banking, the people in the jury room were making ugh sounds, and I’m like, fuck you. I’m proud of what I do. And I think this firm did a lot to get the recovery going. Somewhere ranked below a pimp and well operator is not right.” Continue reading »