Want To Send Your New Spouse A Message Via Cake?

Hey lovebirds! Anyone getting married soon? Want to communicate something to your new husband or wife? Want it to be, “I work all the time and I’ll pencil you in when I can” and/or “I hate you”? Might we suggest the the following?

That’s right it’s a Bloomberg cake! And it certainly says something, does it not? Don’t know much about the story behind the couple who commissioned this particular one (other than the groom’s name, Matthew Kraeger, as it helpfully appears in the stack of papers next to the terminal, and his employer, BlackRock) but we did contact the artist and know that it was ordered last minute by the bride, it cost $1,500 and that it’s a “groom cake” which is apparently a new trend wherein you have your regular cake and then a cake for the groom that’s supposed to reflect his “interests.”

Bloomberg Terminal Cake
[TBN via BI]
Pink Cake Box [PCB]

(hidden for your protection)
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66 Responses to “Want To Send Your New Spouse A Message Via Cake?”

  1. CoveredLong says:

    Finally, I can have my Bloomberg and eat it too.

  2. Mr. Market says:

    Numerous recent research studies have proved that in order to be successful in the financial markets, the key is to: BUY LOW and SELL HIGH. This BL&SH “theory” has been disputed for decades as numerous investors, specifically the West Coast located PIMCO investment company. Matt Kraeger has utilized this BL&SH theory in purchasing gold nuggests, dwarfs, and making numerous ticks. He implores butterfly theories as well as turtle ways in order to maximize the success of his portfolios. He also utilized the burrito theory in order to obtain a suitable life partner. All young financial industry professionals could learn from this up and coming wipp’r snapper!

  3. Mr. Market says:

    By analyzing the “research” which I posted above, I have found the groom:

  4. Guesty Guest says:

    How could something so sweet be so sad!?!?

  5. Guest says:

    What if the groom is also into scat play?

  6. Festerbottom, Charles says:

    touche, or shall I say, Summer’s Eve?

  7. Pfluger the Barbarian says:

    I’ll bet Bloomberg sends his thugs looking for a subscription fee for that cake.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Excellent work.

  9. Weighted Companion Cube says:

    This was a triumph.
    I’m making a note here:
    It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Does it come with a hottie sales rep?

  11. Anonymous says:

    This cake says “Honey, I’m so glad you have a job as I intend to spend our marriage playing tennis, getting manicures, and fucking the pool boy while you’re working 18 hours a day to keep me happy. And if you ever lose this terminal–or more accurately, the job that provides it–I already have a divorce attorney programmed into my speed dial.”

  12. Anonymous says:

    A groom’s cake is a new trend? I’m pretty sure the trend has been around internationally for a while…and even if not, this is yet just another example of progressive Jew Yorker’s (ht Kenny Powers) following the lead of the southern gentille.'s_cake

    I also point to New Yorkers pronouncing the Kreme and Krispy Kreme so it rhymes with meme to support my case.

  13. Anonymous says:

    how do you pronounce krispy kreme? i always thought it rhymed with ‘dablicious’.

  14. Permabachelor says:

    If it floats, flies or…….rent don’t buy

  15. James Dean says:

    Man you got quite the imagination. Personal life experience?

  16. Anonymous says:

    Happily no–although that imagination may be why I’ve remained (contentedly, so far) single….

  17. Mr. Market says:

    think “craspy krame”

  18. Mr. Market says:

    Brilliant! He took down all of his pictures/profile. Fun while it lasted.

  19. Dfasfda Waca says:

    According to bloomberg, he works on the GNMA book for blackrock

    promising shit

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  25. crorceenarl says:

    тебя в семье считают изгоем после того, что ты натворил, ищешь поддержки у таких же как ты? заходи к нам пообщатся в чат!

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  27. Grant Walbridge says:

    Sweets – still one of the best ways to a woman's heart. Just make sure she doesn't overdo things and have to undergo denture repair. That would ruin the intention.

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    If it works, then why not? The cake better not be too sweet though or my wife might have to go through some dental consulting.

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