According to this email, yes. Seems that the future business leaders of the world are just so excited to show potential employers what they’ve got that they 1) get up into recruiters’ asses more than is socially acceptable and 2) cockblock their friends from doing ths same. The lack of finesse is apparently embarrassing the school and has resulted in a list of rules to live by during networking events, with heavy emphasis on Circle Etiquette.
To: ‘ibc-members@bettyblue.gsb.columbia.edu’
Cc: ibc-board@bettyblue.gsb.columbia.edu
Subject: [IBC] Break-out Sessions with Bankers–PLEASE READ CAREFULLYDear 1st years –
It has come to our attention that some of you have already managed to become notorious for their willingness to elbow their peers out of the circle around senior bankers and virtually attack the bankers with questions, thus preventing other students from networking and participating in the conversation. This is never a good strategy and acting in a socially undesirable way runs a strong risk of branding you as undesirable not just to your classmates but also to recruiters. Once you feel that you have asked a couple of questions, and perhaps received a business card, do not monopolize the banker’s time by standing around awkwardly or asking additional questions. Let your classmates play as well. Furthermore, such behavior shows that you are aggressive and non-collegial, and therefore not a pleasant person to work 100-hour weeks with.
Bankers are very observant people. Moreover, it is much easier to remember somebody with a bad impression than with a good impression – do not smother the bankers with too many questions.
§ If you see a classmate standing behind you, step aside and let them in the circle around the banker – it shows team work
§ Ask a couple of questions and then move on or remain silent and let your classmates interact as well
§ If there are 6-7 students around 1 banker, you do not want to ask more than one or two questions
§ If there are 2-3 students you can ask a few more questions if you feel you are bonding well, but always be considerate toward your classmates – use your best judgment
§ If you feel you have spend a good 15-20 minutes with one banker, it is ok to excuse yourself politely and ask for a business card
§ If the banker has run out of business cards and you have one, offer to share with your classmates
§ Remember that these events are also meant to screen for those who can one day win business from clients – treat the recruiters the way you would treat a multi-billion dollar client
§ Do not monopolize recruiter’s time – especially the senior bankers. Talk to the junior bankers as well – they often are take the first stab at drafting invite only lists
§ Do not be fake and superficial in your attempt to shine – bankers interact with tens of people on a daily basis and can easily spot fake from genuine behavior
§ Do not overwhelm bankers with questions when they are taking a small break (i.e. chewing food) – remember they are also human beings and have had a very long day at work.
§ Do not get drunk or gobble down food in front of bankers no matter how hungry and tired you are
§ Do not be intimidated to let your personality shine – being stuck-up is never a good strategy – be pleasant, be fun, smile, and stay professional
Your aim at these sessions is not to compete with your classmates, but to impress the bankers. Be smart about it – this is not rocket science!
Use your social intelligence and best judgment. Be a team player. Be considerate to your peers. This will help not only you, but also the school, look professional and desirable.
Thank you and good luck.
IBC Board
Didn’t see any mention about hiring a prostie to interact with bankers on my behalf. Should I take that to mean it’s still okay?
Most importantly, make sure to let your female classmates get up off their knees before you trample them. Teamwork people, teamwork.
Dear IBC Board,
TLDR.
Regards,
1st Years
LOL at the notion that the male classmates aren’t offering B and HJ’s in exchange for a job.
I’m here for the gangbang
Smothering a banker is the NKI.
“Furthermore, such behavior shows that you are aggressive and non-collegial, and therefore not a pleasant person to work 100-hour weeks with.”
Columbia administration ending a sentence with a preposition in the NKI.
I so vividly remember these events. God, what an awful experience.
Do asspiring CFAs also smother?
Go big or go home- ZJ’s for all VPs and up from major banks.
Not to mention “It has come to our attention that some of you have already managed to become notorious for their willingness to elbow their peers…” That ain’t legal either dude.
Bess, we got another batshit insane email over the weekend from these funbags about “personal hygiene”.
bah that’s perfectly fine English and better than “…person with whom to work 100-hour weeks.”
This sentence on the other hand is gobbledygook:
“Talk to the junior bankers as well – they often are take the first stab at drafting invite only lists”
I am having troble with my ettiqute. Can anyone inform me if it is wrong to blow off the same Russian “model’s” tit as the senior banker, or should I be doing it off the junior bankers ass?
Exhibit 27a as to why engineers shouldnt be let into Bschool.
only if she is female…
Only if enough pressure is appled to the pillow to stop air flow.
“If you feel you have spend a good 15-20 minutes with one banker”
As a proofreading exercise, this list is the list that just keeps on giving.
Smother me in gravy you big dirty man
isn’t this just the new normal?
erroneous on both counts!
Events like these are why I avoided banking like the plague. It is beyond my comprehension why anyone would elbow through a pack of greaseballs just to kiss the ass of a beleaguered, overworked banker—in a pathetic attempt to join the ranks of the beleaguered and overworked—when cushy buy-side jobs offer all of the pay (and then some) with none of the bullshit. Perhaps someone here can enlighten me.
“Furthermore, such behavior shows that you are aggressive and non-collegial, and therefore not a pleasant person to work 100-hour weeks with, asshole.”
buy side is the new sell side ( interact with the clients whose money we blew) and sell side is the new backoffice . if you get my drift… we are all going down a rank
how do they make those bullet points?
what a bunch of GD nerds
the DB-fu is within you, my son.
~ the ghost-spawn of GM/Kouwe
I have a 4.0 and can sign 300 foreclosures an hour.
HBS 2011
Screw these bankers, and the wankers who love them!
Normally, we tell people to “be themselves” in situations like these. For CBS students we tell them “be someone else, someone normal and not annoying… in fact, be the exact opposite of yourself.”
Use your social intelligence and best judgment – presumably they already are
Do not expose the banker to bright lights.
Do not get the banker wet.
And never, never, feed the banker after midnight.
I was never able to become a banker.
[Newman has a revelation.]
Newman: Banker! So you’re killing yourself because your dreams of becoming a banker have gone unfulfilled. You-you-you-you can’t live without being a banker.
Kramer: Yeah, yeah. If I can’t be banker, I don’t wanna live.
Newman: You must be banker.
Kramer: MUST be banker.
Respond to the email by a head hunter
http://www.quantnet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7735
I can’t help but think that most of the people mocking this are the same assholes who piss off the bankers. Retards. Learn to take some constructive criticism from someone trying to help (even if it is to ultimately help the school image).
Poor attention to detail IBC Board. You just got bottom tier comp for the year. Remember when sending condescending emails to your peers, write them as if they were going to a multi-billion dollar client.
FYI 90% of the people mocking this are likely either bankers or buyside.
correct
seriously – there must have been a real reason to send that email – real complaints from recruiters. the student was just doing their job, trying to prevent the issues pointed out to occur again. such emails are sent out all the time schools and companies. it is unbelievable that somebody would leak such email out of context.
Really throw those senior bankers and your classmates for a loop and ask them the best way to get into retail.
I have a 4.0 and can sign 300 mortgages an hour
CBS 2012
Yes, bankers are very observant people. Now watch this banker get titty slapped by a coked out Russian stripper.
Also, the you/their pronoun disagreement in the first sentence. Methinks this email was written by an ESL board member.
“bankers interact with tens of people on a daily basis” my god, bankers are awesome. HOW DO THEY DO IT??
“bankers interact with tens of people on a daily basis” my god, bankers are awesome. HOW DO THEY DO IT??
I agree
I agree
Columbia LOSS, FTW!
Columbia LOSS, FTW!
this smells like bullshit to me
(Columbia Business School alumni ’03)
Once again, the problem is with the government. Marriage IS a religious act. The government decided to use it as a definition for an entitlement under law. Dont change the definition, change the list of whos entitled.
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