What drives a man who’s made billions already to continue coming into the office every day in a quest to amass even more, particularly at a time when many are closing up shop? What drives him to keep going when he could comfortably retire to a beach on the coast of a country he could buy, and the one next to that, plus all their women and small boys? For some money managers, it’s a matter of proving themselves to mommy or daddy, who never thought they were good enough. For others, it’s the thing that makes them tick, with nothing else being a proper substitute for the feeling they get in their plums when they’re playing the game. For AQR Capital Management founder Cliff Asness, the motivation can be summed up in two words: super hero.

As we have discussed previously, Asness is a longtime Marvel comic book collector who currently keeps his favorite action figures, Spiderman, Captain America, The Hulk and Iron Man, on the desk of his office in Greenwich, Connecticut. Captain America is his favorite, and he has a tattoo of the guy’s shield on his right forearm. But for Cliff, this is more than a boyhood hobby. Since his days on Long Island, where he was “obsessed with little besides girls and comic books,” Asness has clearly had a dream.

Cliff wants a super hero character to be modeled after him. And he thinks that if he makes one more dollar, if he does one more interview wherein he suggest being photographed in front of his dolls, someone will get the hint. And speaking of hints, without expressly saying it, many have been dropped re: what kind of elements Cliff thinks should be involved in– and this name is not set in stone but let’s just call him this for now– Quant Man’s bio.

For instance, his duties in life include protecting truth and eradicating lies, by fighting the vicious animal liars who tell them.

“His super-villains are intellectual dishonesty and ignorance,” Jonathan Beinner, a managing director at Goldman Sachs Group Inc. and a former classmate of Asness, tells Bloomberg Markets magazine. “When someone offers an opinion that Cliff feels is incorrect or dishonest, whether it be related to investments, politics or pizza, he feels it is his duty to stand up, even if it’s not in his best interest.”

In addition to people who want to spread evil like universal healthcare.

He also takes a dim view of the administration of President Barack Obama, calling his economic team “Cossacks on a shtetl,” a reference to the Russian cavalrymen who sacked Jewish villages in Eastern Europe in the 19th century.

Like the Hulk, Quant Man has some rage tendencies that erupt when he’s battling things like market volatility.

And Asness…who admits to a superhero complex…[also] admits to a temper: He’s knocked his ViewSonic computer monitor to the floor on three occasions, though it never broke. “Either they’re building good computer screens or my punch isn’t what it used to be,” he says.

That’s because Quant Man is getting tired. He’s starting to lose his strength, like an out of shape Hulk who can’t even lift a car. How much thicker must this be laid on before someone moves their ass on the idea? Let’s at least get a costume sketch by the end of the year.

71 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (71)

  1. Posted by Chong Li | October 7, 2010 at 2:26 PM

    ViewSonic computer monitor no hit back.

  2. Posted by Guest | October 7, 2010 at 2:31 PM

    I thought Cliffy played Syndrome in The Incredibles.

  3. Posted by guest | October 7, 2010 at 2:31 PM

    He looks so regal in that pick

  4. Posted by JKushner | October 7, 2010 at 2:36 PM

    Bess, if you sign with us, I want you to know that you will for the first time have to grapple with the fact of being only the 2nd hottest girl in the office.

    Molly Young is much hotter

  5. Posted by Guest | October 7, 2010 at 2:37 PM

    Um… things like incorrectness & dishonesty not issues of opinions? Hence his superhero would be a hypocritical fundamentalist spouting his ideology and not really doing much of anything. Stick with making money.

  6. Posted by JKushner | October 7, 2010 at 2:37 PM

    Also, you can suck my cock as your signing bonus

  7. Posted by Chooch's pooches | October 7, 2010 at 2:44 PM

    You know what Asness couldn’t hit? Roy Halladay. OHHHH

  8. Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | October 7, 2010 at 3:05 PM

    If he were willing to ‘go all evil’ Cliff could easily pull off Obadiah from Iron Man

  9. Posted by Anonymous | October 7, 2010 at 3:12 PM

    It’s good cape weather. Cool, breezy.

  10. Posted by AQR Risk Parity Fund (AQRNX) | October 7, 2010 at 3:13 PM

    they’re not dolls they’re action figures!

  11. Posted by Josh | October 7, 2010 at 3:18 PM

    That XIX-century beard and his obesity combined with a spikey helmet would make General von Bismark proud.

  12. Posted by Jak LaLanne | October 7, 2010 at 3:36 PM

    And just think how much more money Tubby is making over the stick-thin managers too. Guy’s got it made!

  13. Posted by Weightwatcher | October 7, 2010 at 3:39 PM

    I am going to call bs on the 200 lbs claim.

  14. Posted by Rick Sanchez | October 7, 2010 at 3:48 PM

    “…’Cossacks on a shtetl,’ a reference to the Russian cavalrymen who sacked Jewish villages in Eastern Europe in the 19th century.”

    Boo-fucking-hoo.

  15. Posted by Anonymous | October 7, 2010 at 3:49 PM

    Wile E. Coyote, Supergenius.

  16. Posted by Guest | October 7, 2010 at 3:59 PM

    “he could buy, and the one next to that, plus all their women and small boys”

    Ouch, hell hath no fury like a woman called a vicious animal liar.

  17. Posted by Anonymous | October 7, 2010 at 4:14 PM

    that wasn’t a biff-targeted statement; would you not agree that the hedge fund industry likes a variety of flavors? just trying to be inclusive.

  18. Posted by P. Jiang | October 7, 2010 at 4:28 PM

    Am I the only one who think there was a letter “s” missing in Cliff’s last name?

    - P. Jiang

  19. Posted by cfa_CHARTERHOLDER | October 7, 2010 at 4:35 PM

    Wow, this deep insight into Cliff’s personality and motivation is really fascinating. I’m intrigued by the references to zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzz zz zzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzz

  20. Posted by Shallow Thinker | October 7, 2010 at 4:42 PM

    I like grape.

    - guy who doesn’t get the joke.

  21. Posted by Guest | October 7, 2010 at 5:08 PM

    How can you type z’s if you’re sleeping?

  22. Posted by Guest | October 7, 2010 at 5:08 PM

    How can you type z’s if you’re sleeping?

  23. Posted by trojan | October 7, 2010 at 5:13 PM

    yes or Wooly Willy

  24. Posted by Anonymous | October 7, 2010 at 5:41 PM

    “His super-villains are intellectual dishonesty and ignorance.”

    He better not run into the Ignorant Surfer, whose supervillains are pompous a**holes spreading their sh*t around and pretending its virtuosity. Then we’d have an epic battle on our hands.

    http://proposition13.blogspot.com/2010/10/packetmotion-superfluidity.html

  25. Posted by Anonymous | October 7, 2010 at 5:58 PM

    Was he the bad guy in that Jet Li acting like a Dog movie?

  26. Posted by Superfreak | October 7, 2010 at 6:06 PM

    Do any of you people have jobs or lives? If anybody gave a crap about anything you said or did I am sure we could all sit here and tear you apart too. When are you due back in boys (or girls) town?

  27. Posted by Calipher | October 7, 2010 at 6:09 PM

    But Asnesss looks funny :)

  28. Posted by Anonymous | October 7, 2010 at 6:11 PM

    He’s not asleep. He’s a trader at Citi.

  29. Posted by Anonymous | October 7, 2010 at 6:12 PM

    Hi there, Cliff!

  30. Posted by History is a useless degree | October 7, 2010 at 6:17 PM

    Bismark was the Chancellor of Prussia and the German Reich, he was also a Prince but never a general…

  31. Posted by Superfreak | October 7, 2010 at 6:19 PM

    I happen to know for a fact cliff is out getting fit for his cape so this isn’t cliff. But maybe its his mom.

  32. Posted by Gozer | October 7, 2010 at 6:39 PM

    That beard definitely screams “I retain a retinue of catamites”

  33. Posted by ABCs | October 7, 2010 at 6:52 PM

    It was tough to suffer through to the end of the story, but you were rewarded with this:

    How will AQR define its own success in an era of tempered hopes? More assets? Higher profits? Asness — father of four, self-declared family man — gives an answer he knows will get
    him in trouble at home.

    “Two words,” he says, pausing for effect with a smile. “Trophy wife.”

    There goes the bigmouth again.

  34. Posted by Josh | October 7, 2010 at 7:46 PM

    From Wikipedia. Check your facts, retard.

    “Bismarck, who by now held the rank of major in the Landwehr, wore this uniform during the campaign, and was at last promoted to the rank of major-general in the Landwehr cavalry after the war. Although he never personally commanded troops in the field, he usually wore a general’s uniform in public for the rest of his life, as seen in numerous paintings and photographs.”

  35. Posted by Anonymous | October 7, 2010 at 9:07 PM
  36. Posted by Guest | October 7, 2010 at 10:25 PM

    Uncle Phil really needs to get some sun.

  37. Posted by Lolz | October 7, 2010 at 10:51 PM

    do superheroes lose 60% in one yr? if so he’s good to go

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  39. Posted by Mike Ovitzz | October 7, 2010 at 6:44 PM

    I have it on good authority that he is starring in the next Matthew Vaughn super hero/action comedy sequel with Chloe Moretz that will be titled, “Kick Ass-ness.”

    The Nick Cage character died and has made way for Cliff’s character to feature. He will be Chloe’s guru who mentors her on politics, pizza and flat screen monitors during the nights and acts as her Business 101 high school teaher during the day.

  40. Posted by guest | October 7, 2010 at 8:40 PM

    Absolutely — what’s the perfect hedge for an aging wife?

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    He also sank like a rock when torpedoed.

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