Paul Greenwood is a hedge fund manager who is probably going to go to jail for defrauding clients in a Ponzi scheme, which he pleaded guilty to a few weeks back. For that he does not deserve your sympathy or pity. What he did was wrong. But he’s also a man who today is having the one thing he cared about most in this world taken away from him. The only thing he cared about. The thing he loved most. Naturally, I refer to his prized Teddy Bear collection.
Greenwood owned 1,348 teddy bears, one of which was valued at $80,000, with the total lot being worth an estimated $3 million. And unlike some alternative asset managers we can think of, ashamed for people to know about their decorative dolls, Greenwood kept his babies showcased in “collector display cabinetry” at the top of a dramatic spiral staircase in his home and kept track of via a spreadsheet that noted specifics like “full-dressed in sailor suit, lavender-tipped mohair coat [and] felt spats.”
And now, he’s being forced to auction off the majority of the bears at Christie’s next week, probably to pay for legal fees. Bloomberg notes 1,300 are up for grabs, meaning Greenwood is presumably holding on to the ones he keeps in bed with him, but this still hurts, tremendously. And don’t even think about suggesting he order up a bunch of Vermont bears to make himself feel better. Those things are pieces of shit to him.
They’ll have to rip Bobo from cold dead hands.
P. Green
As a former employee I can tell you that he used to record his daily meetings on a cassette, then play them on his Teddy Ruxpin for the staff.
Keith Olbermann looks constipated in that picture.
Talk about a Steiff sentence.
Dog, bear, alive, stuffed, whatever. I’ll take ‘em all.
-New Plushy Kneale
Only fagots and sailors wear petticoats.
Silver lining: Things can only go up from here. When there’s nothing else to burn, you must set yourself on fire.
-Teddy Ruxpin Enthusiast/Emotional Velveteen Rabbit Reader
Wow. this just got real.
Jesus. What is the chance that (presumably) two grown men could possibly reference Teddy Ruxpin on a financial website? Says a lot about DB’s demographics.
-Guy That Is Submitting This Because He Doesn’t Want You To Think He Ripped You Off
Hey, hold on now, where’s the fire??
-David Wilds
Chief – South Fulton Volunteer Fire Dept.
South Fulton, TN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp0cowmdlRk&feature=related
Who among us hasn’t been tempted to sample the pleasures of the cotton-filling machine at Build-A-Bear?
Beary good point, and I’ve heard investors are entitled to clawbacks on past fees – the whole situation is oso unbelievable.
Just think of the nice bear cuddles he is going to get in prison….
PG: Fifty bucks? No, no, no. This is a Rouchefoucauld. The most exclusive Teddy Bear in the world. Singularly unique, sculptured in design, hand-crafted in Switzerland, and cuddly to three atmospheres. This is *the* Teddy Bear of the Naughties. Eighty thousand dollars retail!
BD: In Philadelphia, it’s worth fifty bucks.
Grizzly.
Orange you glad it wasn’t his bull collection? / Waiting for this story to make the cover of Newsweek.
Where is the obligatory Pedo-Bear reference?
Prison for him will be unBEARable
-guy who wrote the pun in caps so UBS will get in on the joke too.
I’d be interested in purchasing any teddy bears with large testicles for my collection.
The Caruso-Cabreras are Pretty in Pink today.
“Man stares into the abyss, and there’s nothing staring back at him. That’s when man finds his character. And that’s what keeps him out of the abyss.”
He should have given them away to charity.
- Leon Cooperman & Joe Kernan
I am not forced to auction off my collections of markers. Yet.
- P. Jiang
He should have given them to the government, and let them give them away to “charity.”
-Mathman Prophecy
Should have signed Batboy4. Dammit. Explaining erroneously made jokes is the NKI.
Do you know what a prize I am in the gay community? There’s a term for it. I’m a bear, and I’m a teddy. I’m a teddy bear.
Pretty weak, buddy.
That’s nothing. You should see my cookie-jar collection.
In that case you should see my BDSM accessory collection.
-MW
Wonder how his 7yr old daughter tricked the feds into thinking he was the fund manager? That’s just poor parenting is what that is.
I am surprised that he wasn’t forced to sell his inflatables collection. He barely used them, claiming he was more of a bear-type of a guy. Frankly, some of these bears are gross, often he couldn’t make it back home from Build-a-Bear, pulling over on the side of the road.
ROSEBUD…….Uhnnnn….
Serves him right for his barefaced lying to investors. Now the full force of the law is bearing down on him he’ll have to focus on bearing up in jail with copies of Bearly Legal smuggled in by his wife Ursula.
retard
Teddy Bears? Geez… tell me you spent the money booze or hookers or lap dances, not frigging teddy bears. What kind a fruit cups are on the street today?