• 13 Oct 2010 at 11:45 AM

Layoffs Watch ’10: RBS

By Bess Levin

The Queen has a holiday surprise for her corgis. Ten percent of them are getting fired.

“Here’s the deal: at the very highest levels, about 3 weeks ago, they started bandying around 10% cuts being necessary. The word is just now beginning to filter down to the merely higher-ups that this will be necessary and to start getting ready for it. Timing is unclear, but before year-end is what people are preparing for. RBS will honor deferred bonuses (remember, everyone got screwed in 2008 and 2009) but those getting the ax will get screwed on this year’s bonus.”

Comments (15)

  1. 1
    Posted by Ping Jiang | October 13, 2010 at 4:23 PM

    Get the markers ready.

    - P. Jiang

  2. 2
    Posted by Biff Bassness | October 13, 2010 at 4:29 PM

    U R BS

  3. 3
    Posted by GodsWork | October 13, 2010 at 4:31 PM

    Leaving UBS for RBS and then getting canned is the new mass murder

  4. 4
    Posted by Shecky Wackes-Percy | October 13, 2010 at 5:06 PM

    How many RBS bankers does it take to change a light bulb?…

    Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.

  5. 5
    Posted by Shecky Wackes-Percy | October 13, 2010 at 5:06 PM

    How many RBS bankers does it take to change a light bulb?…

    Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.

  6. 6
    Posted by Jamie Daingerfield | October 13, 2010 at 5:10 PM

    What’s the difference between a pizza and a RBS banker? … A pizza can feed a family of five.

    What’s the difference between a RBS banker and a pigeon? … A pigeon can still make a deposit on a Porsche.

    How many RBS bankers does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, provided the government will quantitatively ease it first.

    What’s the definition of optimism? … A RBS banker ironing five shirts on Sunday night.

  7. 7
    Posted by CoveredLong | October 13, 2010 at 5:26 PM

    What do you say to a little RBS Banker on a bicycle?…..Give me my bike back!

  8. 8
    Posted by Shecky Shriner | October 13, 2010 at 5:32 PM

    A laid off RBS banker applied for a job as a “Human Cannonball” with a well known traveling circus. He didn’t get the job because they said they needed a higher caliber person.

  9. 9
    Posted by Jimbo | October 13, 2010 at 5:32 PM

    I say “hey Shia, you suck!”

  10. 10
    Posted by Anonymous | October 13, 2010 at 5:52 PM

    RBS is giving UBS a run for its money in the sucking it category…

  11. 11
    Posted by buckettrader | October 13, 2010 at 6:24 PM

    How does this firm keep getting third prize?

  12. 12
    Posted by Guest | October 13, 2010 at 6:41 PM

    Giving UBS a run for its money in being an epic fail is the NKI?

  13. 13
    Posted by G Love | October 14, 2010 at 1:59 AM

    Looks like I’m the only one making a profit off of RBS….

  14. 14
    Posted by yikesurbsforever | October 16, 2010 at 1:49 AM

    Will this time the queen divorce the american side? Ah well- running list of losers : AB(solutely)No , GC(most of people moved out with their green capital) , commodity quickie with a real quality partner in the process even mutilating those innocents , multimil pounder guaranteed newsworthy Italians , panicky baldies and oldies ( or both) passing for good quality , overspent multifloor new home by the sea with bars and lawns to serve as time sharing spot for the poor souls who are health or gossip conscious

  15. 15
    Posted by Aircav | October 21, 2010 at 3:26 PM

    Time for that incompetent idiot ____ _____ to get sacked. His terrible teeth, dandruff and wrinkled clothes don’t make a good impression of clients. On top of this, he is dishonest and secretly a gay.

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