“The A.T.M.’s are inside the building, tough to find (no signs to point out) and wedged in a corner in a glass room between a vacant store and the stub end of a small newsstand. Moreover, the A.T.M. requires paper envelops for making deposits,” Mayo wrote in his latest report. “In contrast, nearby Chase and Bank of America A.T.M.’S are more sophisticated and do not require the use of envelopes.” [Dealbook]

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Comments (37)

  1. Posted by Obum | October 4, 2010 at 10:44 PM

    Mikey, you will get a much better treatment at Ping Cap, I promise.

    – P. ‘the marker’ Jiang

  2. Posted by el barto | October 4, 2010 at 11:06 PM

    My fiancée once died after licking a cheap envelope at a Wachovia ATM. After that I started the DOPE campaign demanding our country’s banks Don’t Offer Paper Envelopes.

  3. Posted by indridcold | October 4, 2010 at 11:35 PM

    I had sex with your wife!

    -Citi

  4. Posted by Fern Mayo | October 5, 2010 at 4:39 AM

    You wish.

  5. Posted by Mike | October 5, 2010 at 10:44 AM

    Hey Bess, Your tags make me blush.

  6. Posted by Richard Cripples | October 5, 2010 at 12:12 PM

    “A2M Machine” was my college girlfriend’s nickname, I thought it was because she had a lot of cash, it was not until years later that I realized my error. You can read all about it in my new book “Homonyms: A Cautionary Tale”.

  7. Posted by Icup | October 5, 2010 at 12:17 PM

    how was the paper in the bathrooms? was it plush?

  8. Posted by Guest | October 5, 2010 at 12:47 PM

    But do the Chase and BoA machines have a furry puppet hand that comes out to tickle your pickle?

    –Guy who deposits stuff in Citi ATM machines all the time

  9. Posted by d-man | October 5, 2010 at 1:55 PM

    Tags alone make this site worth the visit

  10. Posted by Worm | October 5, 2010 at 2:04 PM

    Next on his list of complaints in this in depth analysis report – “And I hate this arc. What the deal with the arc?? I loved the umbrella and they changed it! Sell, sell, sell!!”

    –John Turturro looking em effer

  11. Posted by FINagler | October 5, 2010 at 2:23 PM

    Obviously Mayo has never used TD Bank’s ATMs.

    I’d take a Deli ATM over a TD bank ATM anyday

  12. Posted by Anonymous | October 5, 2010 at 3:22 PM

    I’m sick of the dirty dirty money I have to touch whenever I use an ATM. Can Mayo do something about that?

    http://proposition13.blogspot.com/2010/10/avenda-systems-unknown-territory.html
    Proposition 13 mayo citigroup mike mayo

  13. Posted by Guest | October 6, 2010 at 1:07 AM

    Those are called homeless people and no, Chase and BofA ATMs have those doors that you need a card to open.

  14. Posted by Dead_Cat | October 6, 2010 at 9:45 AM

    Bess! Nice girls aren’t supposed to know that term! Besides, it’s more like DVDA.

  15. Posted by Alfredo Libert | May 10, 2012 at 3:58 AM

    how can i change my billing info (or am i being stupid, here?)

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