Archive for October 2010

The following elements should be involved (Source: CNBC employee handbook, handed out to all on-air talent on their first day on the job):

* 1 guy in a kilt

* An intense moustache

* A bottle of booze (here’s where you can get creative: could be a $150,000 bottle of whiskey or your favorite flavor of Boone’s Farm, doesn’t matter)

* Questions like, “what have you got in that bushy pouch?”

* A CNBC anchor who goes by the motto “I’m here for the party”

* Lively dialogue such as:

Guest: What I want you to do is put it in your mouth and hold it.

MCC: Put it in my mouth? You shouldn’t say that to me [the suggestion being, you *should* say that to me]

Guest: Keep it in there keep it in there keep it in there

MCC: [Laughing]

Guest: Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it

* Supremely awkward reaction shots of co-anchors

* Confetti! Continue reading »

Because Mike Bloomberg believes in a little something called loyalty. Continue reading »

Back in August, Emma Lasry, daughter of Avenue Capital founder Marc, released a music video from a track on her debut album entitled “Closet Bitch.” It had it all– an Acura SUV, a cameo by Khloe Kardashian and Emma telling us, “Everybody thinks I’m so sweet…I’m the girl you love to meet…boys want to take me out to eat…but I’ve got a secret no one knows…I’m a closet bitch.” It now appears Ms. Lasry has some competition in the hedge fund manager daughter/singer-songwriter genre. Caroline Jones, offspring of Paul Tudor, may not have a mobile billboard on the side of a truck driving around midtown, but she has produced an impressive body of work for her age (20-ish). Like Emma, much of Caroline’s music focuses on boys but hers is a bit more…soulful. Here’s a sampling of lyrics: Continue reading »

They cut/piss people off on the morning commute and effectively ruin their days. Continue reading »

The big oil and natural-gas company said Thursday that its 75-year-old CEO will retire at the 2011 annual meeting, and will be succeeded by President Stephen I. Chazen. Mr. Irani will remain executive chairman until the end of 2014. The two executives also will get a “substantially lower” maximum payout under a new long-term compensation plan than they were eligible for in previous plans, according to the company…The CEO-designate isn’t worried about his lower potential pay. During an interview Wednesday, he said that he and Mr. Irani already own a lot of Occidental shares. “You don’t have to worry about either of us eating cat food at home because the comp is going down,” Mr. Chazen said. [WSJ]

  • 14 Oct 2010 at 8:46 AM

Opening Bell: 10.14.10

Warren’s Son Howard Buffett Says Don’t Expect Third Generation At Berkshire (Bloomberg)
Also, there’s this: “I checked with Howie; he told me CTB was an absolute first-class company,” Warren Buffett said in remarks posted on CTB’s website. “Howie would rather spend an evening on a tractor in the field than a date with Angelina Jolie, which is not true of all members of the family, but that’s true of Howie.”

Bankers Ignored Signs Of Foreclosure Trouble (NYT)
At Citigroup and GMAC, dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s on home foreclosures was outsourced to frazzled workers who sometimes tossed the paperwork into the garbage. At JPMorgan Chase, they were derided as “Burger King kids” — walk-in hires who were so inexperienced they barely knew what a mortgage was. And at Litton Loan Servicing, an arm of Goldman Sachs, employees processed foreclosure documents so quickly that they barely had time to see what they were signing. “I don’t know the ins and outs of the loan,” a Litton employee said in a deposition last year. “I’m not a loan officer.”

6 Women Accuse Citi Of Gender Bias (Dealbook)
“The outdated ‘boys club’ is alive and well at Citigroup, where women are denied equal terms and conditions of employment that are provided to similarly situated male employees,” the lawsuit said. “As a result of this ‘boys club,’ men dominate the senior ranks of Citigroup’s management and executive positions.” Five of the six women who brought the suit worked in the public finance department within the bank’s municipal securities division and were among those laid off in November 2008, when Citigroup cut more than a tenth of its work force in the midst of the financial crisis.

Dividend Rock: Firms Reward Buyout Bosses (WSJ)
So far in October, private-equity owned companies paid out nearly $1.7 billion in dividends while adding about $4.6 billion of new debt, according to Standard & Poor’s LCD. That is on pace to top the $2.3 billion monthly record in April 2007. This month’s activity comes on the heels of nearly $2 billion of such dividends in each of the last two months, S&P LCD said.

JPMorgan Slashes Investment Bank Bonus Pool as Revenue Drops (Bloomberg)
For the first nine months of the year, JPMorgan set aside 39 percent of the investment-bank’s revenue to pay employees, compared with 38 percent a year ago. “These people will be compensated and compensated well but it’s not going to be the amounts it would be if they generated more revenue,” Branthover said.

UBS Won’t Act Against Ex-Bosses (WSJ)
The banks said it made mistakes during the financial crisis, particularly in the investment-banking area, but said it won’t take legal proceedings against its previous management. “What happened shouldn’t have been allowed to happen, and with our decision to refrain from legal proceedings, we don’t want to gloss over the mistakes made by UBS or absolve those involved of their corporate responsibility,” said Chairman Kaspar Villiger. In its review of the events during the financial market crisis, UBS said its investment banking growth strategy wasn’t properly planned, and this was a “significant” contributor to its losses.

U.S. tip-off sparks $159 million cocaine seizure (AP)
“If we want to dismantle organized crime we must attack the money flow, we must attack their income source,” Home Affairs and Justice Minister Brendan O’Connor told reporters. “This is a great blow landed today, landed this week, by our law enforcement agencies.” Continue reading »

  • 13 Oct 2010 at 6:45 PM

Write-Offs: 10.13.10

$$$If you drink it, we follow it,” Gabelli said today of Deerfield, Illinois-based Fortune Brands, saying it’s a good bet for investors with a five-year time horizon. “Bourbon is an interesting product that the United States makes.” [Bloomberg]

$$$ Amid customer complaints that the Seattle-based coffee chain has reduced the fine art of coffee making to a mechanized process with all the romance of an assembly line, Starbucks baristas are being told to stop making multiple drinks at the same time and focus instead on no more than two drinks at a time—starting a second one while finishing the first, according to company documents reviewed recently by The Wall Street Journal. [WSJ]

$$$ Norwegians convicted for outwitting algos [FT]

$$$ Bloomberg Markets mag ranks the world’s best stock pickers:

10. Sandler O’Neill and Partners
9. Alphavalue
8 Sanford C. Bernstein
7. Barclays
6. JPMorgan Continue reading »

Just asking as a friend and someone who’s worried. Goldman Sachs has everything going for them– looks, money, huge dicks, a restraining order against a Rolling Stone reporter– but it seems as though there’s a serious crisis of confidence going on, based on a little survey sent out by the bank, requesting “feedback” from “a select group of our stakeholders.” At first it appears pretty standard– questions about how well clients are serviced compared to other banks, etc. But then things take a turn. The Masters of the Universe want to know what you tell your friends and co-workers about them asking, for instance, would you “go out of your way to recommend us” to a co-worker looking for a gig or would you “never recommend us”? Whereas you’d think Goldman would and should assume everyone loves them, those surveyed are asked not just whether or not they “admire” the firm but if they “respect” as well (when you have this little self-confidence you need to drill down on the difference), or alternatively, if they have zero respect/admiration. Did you read the annual report? Or can you “not remember” if you had a chance to look it over, since it was so unremarkable GS wouldn’t blame you if you could not recall?

Continue reading »

“He seems like the right choice for New York,” she said last night at 1Oak. [Daily Intel]

Continue reading »