Time was, East Hampton could count on the guys taking home enormous packages at year-end to buy up its inventory of multi-million dollar homes. They’d come to a mutual understanding, if you will. Now, due to the bloody financial crisis, some people aren’t holding up their end of the arrangement. Whereas prior to the whole shit hitting the fan “incident,” traders and similarly compensated financial services employees would roll in town and pay cash for some $45 million, 18-bedroom spread, now outhouse pictured at left can’t even sell. So you don’t know if you’re going to have a job in 2011 let alone if your bonus will be anything to write home about, so what??? We had an agreement. You selfish pricks. Continue reading »
Archive for October 2010
Remember when Council of Economic Advisers chairman Austan Goolsbee explained the Bush tax cuts debate on a whiteboard? Bloomberg does. The normally staid, restrained, non-confrontational network brought it up today in a segment that one might rate “3 trombones” on the “how many sad trombones for Goolsbee does this rate” scale. Continue reading »
This afternoon, the last segment of Power Lunch was devoted to discussing a line of underthings for men brought to you by Spanx. Previously women were the only ones lucky enough to be able to purchase a garment designed to suck and smooth rolls, worn underneath clothing, with colleagues being none the wiser. Now that dudes can apparently get in on the fun, it’s time for you to ask yourselves a serious question. Continue reading »
FX Concepts’ John Taylor Can’t Get Over The Similarities Between Hitler And Ben Bernanke
By Bess LevinJohn Taylor, Chief Investment Officer of FX Concepts, has been doing a lot of thinking about the economy lately and he keeps coming back to one thing– how similar things are to Europe just prior to World War II and how Bernanke’s actions are eerily reminiscent to those of Adolf Hitler. Sure, the facial hair is slightly different but other than that, Taylor says, “the parallels are ominous.” Really, it’s uncanny! If you aren’t lucky enough to be one of Taylor’s clients, who received the history lesson this morning, please join us as we take a gander at the outside the box “insight” some people apparently pay money to read. Continue reading »
The Principal Strategies group has a new home starting in January. Continue reading »
No more of this.
Goldman Eyes Its Buffett Tab (WSJ)
The bank is considering paying back a $5 billion investment from Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway Inc. that bolstered the securities firm during the worst of the financial crisis, according to people familiar with the situation…One reason for the potential move: Hefty dividend payments of 10% a year on Berkshire’s “perpetual” preferred shares have cost Goldman about $1 billion so far. The payout is equivalent to more than $1.3 million a day—or $15 a second.
Profit At Credit Suisse Slumps (MarketWatch)
The bank reported a 74% drop in third-quarter net profit, falling short of market expectations as its investment-banking arm was hit by lower client activity. The group reported a net profit of 609 million Swiss francs ($633 million) in the latest quarter, compared to 2.35 billion francs a year earlier, while core net revenue dropped 30% to 6.28 billion francs. On a pretax basis, profit fell at all three of its divisions — private banking, investment banking and asset management.
Geithner’s Goal: Rebalanced World Economy (WSJ)
Geithner said he would use weekend meetings of G-20 finance ministers to advance efforts to “rebalance” the world economy so it is less reliant on U.S. consumers, to move toward establishing “norms” on exchange-rate policy, and to persuade others the U.S. doesn’t aim to devalue its way to prosperity.
Guinness Heiress Sued By Hedge Fund Neighbor For Flooding Apartment (NYP)
British brewery heiress Daphne Guinness is being sued by her downstairs neighbors at 995 Fifth Avenue for repeatedly sudsing their $12 million apartment with her bath water. Karim and Tina Samii say since Guinness moved into her $15 million, 4100 square foot apartment in the former Stanhope Hotel in 2008, she’s flooded their apartment four times. The first flooding incident was the fault of Guinness’s contractors, the suit says, but the other three all happened after the skunk-haired style maven left the bath running and forgot to turn it off. Now hedge fund honcho Samii and his wife want a court order barring Guinness from taking baths – as well as over $1 million in damages.
Avenue Capital Group to Raise Fund to Invest in High-Yield Debt (Bloomberg)
The firm has hired Randy Takian from Morgan Stanley to oversee the fund as Avenue looks to diversify its product offerings and potentially raise more portfolios by selling shares to the public, according to people familiar with the decision.
HFT’s Don’t Front-Run Institutional Clients, Study Says (TM)
FYI.
Banks Face Two-Front War On Bad Mortgages, Foreclosures (Bloomberg)
“It’s going to be trench warfare with years of lawyering,” Christopher Whalen said. “The banks can’t afford to lose.” Continue reading »
$$$ Morgan Stanley Still Ain’t No Goldman [WSJ]
$$$ Larry Fink on BofA situation: “There has been at no lawsuit. That is incorrect. There has been a request for information. That’s all there is. There has never been a lawsuit. I think the press has gotten this much larger than it is. Whether we are involved or not, and I will not say that, but the request for information was sent to banks earlier this week and there is a 30-day…period. Whether there is a lawsuit or not will be determined in another 30 days.” [Bloomberg] Continue reading »
Old Wive’s Tale About A Man’s Shoe Size Being A Good Indicator Of Other Things Proven True In At Least One Circumstance
By Bess LevinExhibit A: The insane ramblings of former Madoff mistress Sheryl Weinstein with regard to Bernie’s penis:
“This man was not well-endowed.”– August 18, 2009
“Bernie had a very small penis. Not only was it on the short side, it was small in circumference. That he was now pointing it out to me was telling. It clearly caused him great angst. I wanted to be careful how I responded. Men and their penises have a strange and unique relationship.” — August 19, 2009
“On the bright side,” she concluded, because of its size, “oral sex would be a breeze.” August 20, 2009
Madoff had a penis so small that “it would fit easily inside the opening of a single-serving honey jar” that sits on a hotel room service breakfast tray, Weinstein said. — August 24, 2009
Exhibit B: His slippers being auctioned off November 13 by the US Marshals:
Size 8.5
Put Yourself In Bernie Madoff’s Slippers [Daily Intel]
Cuts went down about half an hour ago. Continue reading »
Larry Fink: The Biggest Mistake I Ever Made Was Doubting My Own Sheer Fucking Awesomeness
By Bess Levin
As previously discussed, CNBC has been running a new series of interviews in which Becky Quick sits down with some financial heavyweight and asks him to discuss the “worst trade” he ever made. While seemingly the stuff of tedious job interviews, wherein applicants are asked to name their worst quality, such as being a workaholic, so far they’ve actually been quite interesting and shined a light on aspects of the subjects’ personalities that have helped shaped their storied careers but may not have been known to the outside world. For instance, Warren Buffett has a love of buxom milkmaids and this morning we learned that Larry Fink would not have gotten to where he is today without a serious stumble that resulted in making the conscious decision to stop second-guessing just how much ass he kicks. Continue reading »
