Archive for November 2010

  • 30 Nov 2010 at 6:15 PM

Write-Offs: 11.30.10

$$$ Hedge Funds Flock Back To Asia [WSJ]

$$$ Barclays Capital Said To Plan More Cuts [Bloomberg]

$$$ Like we asked earlier: what can WikiLeaks do that would actually embarrass the banks? [Fortune] Read more »

“There are obviously very severe economic and social consequences from this level of unemployment,” Bernanke said at an event hosted by Ohio State University’s Fisher College of Business. “So getting new jobs, getting unemployment down is of an incredible importance.” [Reuters]

Last February, an unnamed Securities and Exchange Commission worker got in a bit of trouble with his employer for checking out a little porn while on the job. The guy made at least 1,800 logged attempts to check out some sites that included www.ladyboyx.com, www.ladyboyjuice.com, www.trannytit.com, and www.anal-sins.com, which, he admitted, “were kind of distraction per se.” But he had a good reason which is that he had a lot of work to do, and it was stressing him out.

Now it seems that the tranny tits were in fact not just “kind of” a distraction, “per se,” but a “huge ass” distraction. In SEC Inspector General David Kotz’s latest semi-annual report, released Monday, it is disclosed that the watchdog is close to wrapping up an investigation into whether or not “a senior-level official” directed staff not to go after red flags in an investment adviser case in order to cover his own hide, which had previously investigated the firm and failed to uncover the fraud, possibly as a result of spending too much time surfing for lady boy juice at work. Read more »

You know how in the wake of the feds’ Insider Trading Fest(ivus) 2010, a bunch of firms have been able to wipe the sweat off their brows while telling investors and the media that they are not the subject of an FBI investigation, i.e. in the clear? Endearingly, Bank of America seems to believe the WikiLeaks situation (founder Julian Assange claims a “big US bank,” which many believe is BAC, will be his next target, early next year) works the same way. Namely, that they’ll be receiving a formal letter from Mr. Dribbles re: whether or not they’re going down for the dirt nap. Read more »

From: [redacted at investment management arm of large US bank]
Sent: Tuesday, November 30, 2010 10:54 AM
To: All Employees
Subject: GLG

Effective immediately, we are suspending our business with Gerson Lehrman Group pending further transparency of the current investigation (see the attached link).

Read more »

  • 30 Nov 2010 at 1:47 PM

Want A Free iPad?

Get a job at JPMorgan. Read more »

One of its consultants got The Call. Read more »

As previously mentioned, in an interview with Forbes, WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange claimed that the next leak will be about a big US bank. Assange refrained from sharing details, saying only that the big reveal will be early next year and that its impact, ballparking it, could take down a bank “or two.”

Working under the assumption one is taking Mr. Assange’s threat seriously, the leak in question would obviously have to be pretty damn damning. Because I don’t know if Jules is aware of this, but in America, we don’t let banks fail (sorry, Lehman), even if they want to. Take Citi– they’ve tried as hard as possible and yet, still kicking. If Tim Geithner has to place a bank on a floating piece of debris while he freezes his ass off in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean to save it, he will. Read more »

“Bobtimistic” is how Rich Ricci, Barclays Capital’s new co- chief executive officer, described Diamond’s eternally upbeat attitude to assembled executives in September as he introduced a five- minute video send-off tribute, featuring a digital scrapbook titled “The Wonder Years,” with clips of Diamond hiking up his yellow suspenders in 1997 as he talked about making Barclays Capital a bond market leader; a mock image of him dressed like the children’s cartoon character Bob the Builder; his first pep talk to Lehman employees after acquiring the bankrupt broker-dealer in 2008; and photos of him with Rolling Stone Mick Jagger, soccer stars of London’s Chelsea Football Club and pro golfer Phil Mickelson. [Bloomberg]

Over a year ago, at the height of the campaign to Hate on Goldman Sachs, Lloyd Blankfein issued an edict to employees: “do not be seen living high on the hog.” As a partner, Richard Kimball knew he had to set an example for the younger guys and girls and followed Blankfein’s demands to a tee. When he threw “a series of” topless parties in the Hamptons, he did so in the privacy of his Southampton rental. When he enjoyed the company of some lady friends following his divorce from Pete Peterson’s daughter Holly, he did so in the elevators of his building on Jane Street. And when he threw an alleged “naked-themed” Halloween party this October, we’re told it went down at a “secret location” not disclosed to guests until 10PM that evening. Basically, he’s showed the utmost of discretion, demonstrating to the rest of the firm how you show people a good time without making a spectacle. And yet. Read more »

  • 30 Nov 2010 at 8:43 AM

Opening Bell: 11.30.10

Portugal Banks Face ‘Intolerable Risk’; Need Capital (Reuters)
The Bank of Portugal reiterated that the austerity measures, including higher taxes and wage cuts in the public sector, would have a recessive impact on the economy next year, although it said the impact could be mitigated by external demand for Portuguese products.

Spanish Banks Are Seen as the Weak Link in Debt Crisis (Reuters)
This just in.

Level Global Says It’s Not A Target (Bloomberg)
Level Global, with offices in New York and Greenwich, Connecticut, said in a letter to investors that it met with the U.S. Attorney’s Office on Nov. 23 and that the government said yesterday it wasn’t a target of the probe. “Nor, in fact, has the firm been alleged to have engaged in any misconduct or wrongdoing,” Level Global said in the letter.

Obama Proposes Freeze On Federal Worker Pay (WSJ)
Obama on Monday proposed a two-year salary freeze for all federal civilian employees, signaling an apparent willingness to reach toward Republicans ahead of negotiations on deficit-cutting that are likely to dominate Washington next year.

Did New Rules Worsen Pay Situation? (WSJ)
A set to be released Tuesday and commissioned by the Council of Institutional Investors, which represents about 130 pension funds, contends that financial firms still tie too much of their compensation to short-term results and have increased salaries to offset the impact of recent regulatory curbs on pay. “Very little of any real import has changed” since financial stocks began tumbling in 2007 as the subprime-mortgage issue emerged, wrote Paul Hodgson, a senior research associate at Corporate Library, a corporate-governance research firm that produced the report. “On balance, pay practices have worsened.”

Rattner Assails Cuomo Offer (Dealbook)
In a strongly worded, previously undisclosed correspondence, a lawyer for Steven L. Rattner, the financier ensnared in a wide-ranging investigation of suspected kickbacks, described a proposed payment of at least $20 million to the New York attorney general office as excessive, “misconceived” and “wholly untethered from the facts” in the case. Read more »