A Columbia business student recently sent out an email peddling billions of dollars of iron ore to his classmates, pitching them and anyone they might know on the deal. It’s unclear how much money has been raised so far, but we figured we’d help cast a wider net. If you’re interested– get in touch!
From: [redacted at Columbia Business School]
To: All Students
Subject: For Sale: $13B of iron ore, +$10B of rare earth elementsI’m actually serious. This is a deal that I’ve put together.
We need to raise $20mm by December 7th and another $20mm within 45 days of then. We’ve hired an investment bank to work on this but sometimes it’s personal leads that are the best. I’m in touch with hedge funds, private equity firms, and wealthy individuals. Lemme know if you have any leads (or if you want to talk commodities in general).
He’s actually serious. This is a deal he’s put together.
Other than that, I have no concerns.
Is the student a Nigerian Prince?
Columbia Business School’s foray onto dealbreaker is really improving their image.
Rare earth elements? Like the kind that can be combined to form Captain Planet? I’m in.
This didn’t go out to all students, but it’s nice to see that we’re still crushing it on dealbreaker….sigh
Using the word ‘Lemme’ and the phrase ‘Rare Earth Elements’ in the same email is mosdef the NKI
This project sounds like a sure winner.
-C. Ponzi
Belo Horizonte, Brazil
I’m friends with the poster. Good guy and he’s making a genuine attempt to raise capital. On a side note, if anyone does have any leads, please email at lustwemeet@gmail.com.
Thanks for posting dealbreaker!
Lisa
it went to all students who could realistically contribute, because he’s actually serious.
looks like you’re not killing it…sigh
waiting for a reply that never comes after sending your sub-par CV to PE’s and HF’s does not classify as “being in touch with”…
I’m going to put in for $125.67 (due to concentration limits in my portfolio)
Wow that will do great with the EUR20M I’m getting from an other email deal. Already sent the african president my banking info and social security number.
F*king pissed that we lost out to John Thomas on this.
Vinny Spadafore
J.T Marlin Financial
stop whining, start supplying details on this ferocious young dealmaker
He is probably partnering with Lex Luthor to secure some Kryptonite to impress Kristin Kreuk.
I’m also making a genuine attempt to raise capital, pls endorse me with a shout-out.
Thanks,
B Madoff
I’m also making a genuine attempt to raise capital, pls endorse me with a shout-out.
Thanks,
B Madoff
I LIKE THE PARTS WHERE HE SAID HE’S ACTUALLY SERIOUS AND IT’S A DEAL HE PUT TOGETHER.
he must have read in businessweek that rare earths are hot hot hot
count me in!
If this guy gets his funding, he will be running over dentists in no time.
Columbia is in Harlem. I think that guy moved to Queens.
I’m friends with Lisa. Smart girl, making a genuine effort to endorse a guy that’s actually serious. Please send your banking and credit card information to the email above.
Guy that’s friends with Lisa
This has to be Marc Rich’s grand son. Go on boy, make your grand dad proud!
Raising funding for a multi-billion-dollar mining project via unsolicited emails is the NKI?
This student is likely violating securities laws with this email. The SEC is really good at focusing on these small tici tac foul cases rather than meaningful ones like Madoff.
B-school applicants: now you know what “that guy” means
At least one more semi-anonymous person with a Gmail account is going to have to vouch for the seller before I’m comfortable making an investment.
I’m friends with the Guy that’s friends with Lisa. Good guy, always willing to go the extra mile for Lisa. Please post Lisa’s pictures or it didn’t happen.
I AM FRIEND WITH ONE MS. LISA WHO IS QUEEN OR RICH DIGNITARY. I HAVE MANY LEADS FOR YOUR APPROVAL INCLUDING COMMODITY, SHARES, SCHEMES AND INVEST ACCOUNTS. IF YOU WISH TO PARTAKE PLEASE EMAIL AND USE MUCH DISCREET. I ACCEPTS THE PAYPALS AND WE CAN MAKE TRANSACTION GUARANTEE. MANY THANKS,
MR. KWALI UMBASHA
its “its” not “it’s”
other than that i have no concerns. take me $20 million.
I’m friends with the guy that’s friends with the guys that’s friends with Lisa. I’m also facebook friends with the guys that’s friends with Lisa and I think I saw Lisa once at Shake Shack, but it was raining and I hadn’t brought an umbrella to work that day and I was really hungover. She seems like a nice girl tho, but she certainly wasn’t DE Shaw material so I don’ think she;s that bright. I also heard she still collects beanie babies though.
If you want you can send me your bank info and SS# (only if it’s a chase debit card) to lordofthebling221@gmail.com and I’ll get it to the right place.
I’m actually serious. Lemme know.
Which investment bank is handling this deal?
http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/
http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/
I have some room in my storage unit. How much space does $13B of iron ore take up?
wannabe Blythe Masters, B-school students trading rare earths is the NKI.
I think its lehman and bear stearns
This will be a cash-only deal. Meet me at Minetta’s tonight at 8pm sharp. I’ll be wearing a “Whore for Ore” t-shirt and neon orange Wayfarers. Sack-tap me, so I know it’s you.
P.S., Don’t forget to bring the iron.
Sounds good. I’ll be wearing a retro tee and neon green wayfarers and holding a crow bar. If you see me first punch me in the ear and kick me in the balls.
p.s. I only accept low denomination deutschemarks.
Strengths: Instead of buying futures let’s just hold the physical item. That way when the dollar falls we can sell this shit…in wheelbarrows… with no exchange fees!!!
Weaknesses: Not sure where we will store all this fucking money we are going to make.
Opportunities: Sell precious metals to Nigerian industrial tycoons
Threats: Stearns bitches stealing my idea.
UBS. Ever since their last fiasco with GM, they have been broadening their horizons.
Ain’t investin’ unless he can down 50 mcnuggets in an hour!
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1710265
I don’t know I think UBS only deals with Columbian commodities.
If this guy breaks into Institutional with this email, I am going to kill myself.
i was about to put my nest egg into a house, but this kid got me thinking…he’s actually serious. my wife is cool she’ll understand
Using incorrect grammar while correcting someone else’s grammar is the NKI?
It’s = it is
Hearing that nigerianprince13@hotmail.com is also in the deal. He will use the winnings to cover the bank fees for releasing his inheritance from National and International Capital Investment Bank, 1255 Wall Street, Lagos, Nigeria.
Heart is not a rare earth element. Ma-Ti is embarassed by your lack of knowledge of the Planeteers, and so is the US Geological Survey.
To be read with thick Russian accent:
Opulence…I has it, I like the best…but I also like savings the money so when Columbia student tells me of opportunity in ore and rare earths, I jump in it! (insert mini-giraffe kiss here).
This kid’s definitely bought Gary Kaminsky’s book
Lemme know if you want to not speak like a 5th grader when soliciting billions…
Summary: deushbags are not a rare commodity
Salesman: Hello sir
Peter: Enough with the foreplay, now what are you sellin
Salesman: Well, I was going to try to sell you some handsome cream, but I see you already bought out the whole store.
Peter: Go on
Salesman: So perhaps you will be interested in something no house can be without…volcano insurance.
Peter: Go on
Salesman: According to my uncle who is a real whiz with volcanoes, a volcano is coming this way.
Peter: hmmmm, I too have an uncle. Come in.
The ironing is delicious
I have a Panamax vessel he can borrow
Is there an offering circular/memorandum?
If so, email it to scams@sec.gov
I don’t have any interest in your deal, nor do I have any leads, but I would enjoy the opportunity to talk commodities in general. For example, I’d be interested in knowing if fungible bricks of useless metal are the world’s new currency.
You must’ve missed the part where he’s actually serious
As an CBS grad, all I can say is: Jesus. I wish I could say this is an outlier, but I’d be lying. Lions are, more often than not, giant weirdos.
His PPM features other gems such as “J-curve? JK – you’re totally gonna make money like now;)”
Didn’t know TD Ameritrade allowed clients to invest in direct commodities deals…
The student fund doing co-invest deals is the NKI? Back in the day we bought 10,000 shares of GE because it had a high Sharpe Ratio. Now these chickenfuckers are doing infra deals pari passu with goddamn OMERS.
I didn’t understand most of that.
other than that, I have no concerns.
“As AN CBS grad…”???? seriously? you kids are bush league, not IVY. learn some grammar
Hey, would you like to join our marketing team?
-Direct TV
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Co-invest
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infrastructure
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ontario_Municipal_Employees_Retirement_System
http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0012795/
http://www.thekingofqueens.com/
That last one doesn’t have anything to do with explaining the comment that’s just a good show. Now back to making your 200 dials for the day to small business owners…
Semmi! I said we were not to reveal our origins!
I don’t do that any more.
Incidentally the $40mm of financing required would just about cover the wholesale price of the 30T of grass that was nabbed last week.
We report, You decide!
I think Columbia is a pretty cool guy. eh smashes tens in snuggle sesh and doesn’t afraid of anything.
I knew that guy looked familiar
Racist. Examine your motives.
A business school student trying to do business while in school…. how shocking guys. Bess, get us some real news please.
$13B + $10B people did not like this.
he is indeed violating numerous securities laws but i’m too lazy to skim through my sec reg outline to post them all…
B-School student trying to do business = not news.
B-School student trying to do business by sending out unsolicited emails to prospective investors in uber-shady-ass sounding mining deals involving minerals the world supply of which is controlled by the PRC = friggin hysterical news.
I can tell he is amateur because he uses $B and not $Bn or $ billion
the email itself is a memorandum, as it is ‘writing.’
And by the way, $13 billion would buy you 81 million metric tons of iron ore at the current spot price– which is somewhere around 98% of the current estimated annual production of the North American iron mining industry.
I can tell he’s an amateur because he uses $B and not $MMM.
Subtle and insightful!
Actually, the phrase “Rare Earth Elements” refers to the most essential personnel of the late ’60s white motown ensemble, i.e. no Eddie Guzman. They do a mean cover of “Get Ready.”
They don’t. I just logged and tried to participate.
I’m going long wheelbarrows before the inevitable run-up.
That’s some fine analysis and indicates there might be issues with this deal. However, the guy did say “I’m actually serious” and so I’m still going long wheelbarrows as my hedge….
- Former Madoff Investor
I could go for a McDowell’s burger right now, while reading over the prospectus.
I am just wondering how many intelligent persons (read – sucker born every minute) are going to go for this. I have a feeling we’ll see them in NYT in the not too distant future, either in the front page of in the obits!!! Perhaps the Feds can bail them out too.
do 5th graders know how to spell douchebag?
Look up some fucking Dealbreaker history.
Next time a friend leaves his email open I’m so blasting the wharton listserves with something like this. Fucking brilliant.
in that last comment, are you calling him some sort of ‘dial-for-dollars’ Summit/TA Associates, um, associate? or boutique banker, aka business broker? **Joke Briefer**, smite but never forsake me!
Dealbreaker’s posting omits detail that the student is actually representing Glencore…..
Dislike
http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/30300-goldmember_austin_powers_goldmember.jpg
My hero!
hm