• 10 Nov 2010 at 3:57 PM

Bernie Madoff Had A Belly Button Ring

By

And now its yours to buy, along with his used sheets, Jimmy Buffett CD’s and more.

The U.S. Marshals asset-forfeiture division is expecting to make $1.5 million off an auction of Bernie and Ruth’s crap this Saturday that includes:

* Jimmy Buffett and Rod Stewart CDs

* Sterling silver “belly button jewelry”

* Used socks (size: extra small)

* Bed linens

* Cuticle scissors

* Make-up brushes

* An old treadmill

* An exercise bike

* A yoga mat

* Copies of “The Kite Runner” and “The Prince of Tides”

* Frying pans

* Mushroom colored bath towels

* An 18-karat yellow gold vintage Rolex with a low estimate of $65,000

* A platinum ring set with a 10.54-carat emerald-cut diamond, has a low estimate of $300,000, the highest in the auction.

* Dress shirts

* Bull figurines

Madoff Auctions Feature More Intimate Items [WSJ]

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Comments (20)

  1. 1
    Posted by tits | November 10, 2010 at 9:02 PM

    They’re figurines not kids toys.

  2. 2
    Posted by Guest | November 10, 2010 at 9:08 PM

    Navel lint–yes. Belly button ring– no I don’t believe it. US Marshalls are scamming.

  3. 3
    Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | November 10, 2010 at 9:10 PM

    Given his belly size and cock size, are we sure this isn’t just a fancy cockring?

  4. 4
    Posted by Guest | November 10, 2010 at 9:10 PM

    Wow, $50bn and this is the shit that makes it to the auction? Bernie must have had a Scarface level coke habit…

  5. 5
    Posted by Anonymous | November 10, 2010 at 9:11 PM

    It’s not a navel ring. It’s a size extra-small cock ring. Sterling silver and bespoke, natch.

  6. 6
    Posted by Anonymous | November 10, 2010 at 9:11 PM

    It’s not a navel ring. It’s a size extra-small cock ring. Sterling silver and bespoke, natch.

  7. 7
    Posted by Anonymous | November 10, 2010 at 9:14 PM

    you win

  8. 8
    Posted by Anonymous | November 10, 2010 at 9:14 PM

    if it’s not bernie’s, it’s ruth’s. either way, this makes me concerned…

  9. 9
    Posted by YogiKudu | November 10, 2010 at 9:20 PM

    I am all over that Yoga Mat…

  10. 10
    Posted by YogiKudu | November 10, 2010 at 9:20 PM

    I am all over that Yoga Mat…

  11. 11
    Posted by Anonymous | November 10, 2010 at 9:22 PM

    Beat me to it. Hat tip, sir.

  12. 12
    Posted by Guest | November 10, 2010 at 9:23 PM

    Dibs on the bull figurines and penus pumps

  13. 13
    Posted by Cartwright | November 10, 2010 at 9:34 PM

    I heard he used to hang from the ceiling by his belly button ring during conference calls.

  14. 14
    Posted by Chuddy | November 10, 2010 at 9:36 PM

    isnt that called a “Dickie-Do”??

    as in, he’s so fat, his belly sticks out farther than his ‘dickie-do’.

  15. 15
    Posted by that_guy | November 10, 2010 at 9:37 PM

    i would wager that he took the anal beads to prison with him….just a hunch

  16. 16
    Posted by Guest | November 10, 2010 at 9:38 PM

    is it larger than the opening on a hotel size jar of honey?

  17. 17
    Posted by Bernard Madoff | November 10, 2010 at 10:05 PM

    Stalking the cage. Dipping my paw in the toilet. Meowing. Rubbing my tail against the bars. Etc.

    -Bernard “Meow-Mix” Madoff

  18. 18
    Posted by Eliot Spitzer | November 10, 2010 at 10:40 PM

    How did he carry them into prison without being found?
    Did he do it while enjoying them in action?

  19. 19
    Posted by Fred Wilpon | November 11, 2010 at 1:48 AM

    No Mets yarmulke? This is bullshit.

  20. 20
    Posted by Thomas Hillfiger | November 11, 2010 at 2:29 PM

    Mushroom colored bath towels, fashion before function.

    other than that, i have no concerns

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