Will you be traveling by air this holiday? Have you been complaining about the Transportation Safety Administration new procedure, wherein you’re asked to (digitally) bare all or have you crotch grabbed? One Bloomberg columnist has a suggestion for coping with the indignity. I’m paraphrasing, but, essentially: shut the fuck up. You’re a sex addict anyway, so just roll over and take it.
Enduring security screening is all we are asked to do in the war on terror while others are subjected to multiple deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. It should be embarrassing to shirk our part in averting another attack. Yet for a loud minority being touched by a TSA agent is too much of an inconvenience.
Enter John Tyner, a guy with a cell-phone camera who decided against the full-body image in favor of the pat-down, achieving instant celebrity when he warned the agent “touch my junk and I’ll have you arrested.” To him, let me say, in another cliche of the moment, Man up! For a country where porn gets the most Internet traffic and the TV family hour is awash in sex, it’s interesting that the place where we’ve decided to get prudish is an antiseptic exercise where the purpose is to keep a 747 with 500 people on board from being blown up.
Margaret Carlson: Man Up When Called for Your Junk Pat-Down [Bloomberg]
http://famousdc.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/tsa.jpg
If the TSA agents looked more like Jenna Jameson and less like Nell Carter we wouldn’t be complaining. But they don’t, so we are.
Sometimes I wish I had a pussy.
-Ping Jiang
I would like to take a plane twice per day please.
After I went through airport security and was patted down, I asked the TSA Agent “Do you take American Express?”
- Charlie Sheen
I really like the touching.
–D. Kneale
Some just don’t get it. Here’s the problem: our government is reactive about airline safety, not proactive. Some guy tries to sneak liquids on to a plane. What happens? No more bottles for anyone over 3 oz. Some young African male puts explosives in his pants. What happens? We all get touched.
Good ideas that have been tried and failed are old news. Besides, the TSA is molesting grandmas and 7 year-old girls. Not the 25 year-old guy from Iran. If I actually thought all of these procedures were keeping me safe, even if inconvenienced, then I’d be all for ‘em. But they’re not. Idiot, hourly, unionized, lazy, government TSA agents are doing the work. They couldn’t get a job in banking if their life depended on it.
I’m fucking a 25 year old guy from Iran… there’s no need to anally search him.
fuck you, Bin Laden
God, I haven’t seen teeth like that since the Noel sisters.
Americans will give up their most basic civil rights without questioning why, and that is truly pathetic.
I think there’s an easy fix to this. Every time you fly, don’t shower for two days and eat a heaping bowl of chili the night before, take a dirty shit two hours before departure and neglect to wipe your ass and then opt for the pat down with disrobing.
This new policy explains why Dennis Kneale just told his assistant to book him on a 27-city tour of the US
this issue is a great iq test
I’ve had enough of fag reporters and their smarmy opinions. There is simply no reason to allow subhuman idiots who’s last best employment opportunity was fry cook at Mickey D’s to roll their digits about my genitals solely because we as a sociatey do not have the balls to simply target towelheads.
For those counting, that’s two “epithets”. See how I did that? Pussies.
To make things easier, I have for some time now, disrobed while waiting in the security line, and when it is my turn to step through, I turn around, grab my ankles and walk backwards towards the TSA agents. I have had nothing but positive results.
There’s nothing like having someone feel you up and down.
Of course Medusa should be pulled aside for additional screening.
Other than that, I have no concerns.
Brings new meaning to the word ‘backscatter.’
“If you’re gonna get raped, you might as well relax and enjoy it”
/Clayton Williams
Ironing my kilt for my date at Liberty later.
I don’t mind a draft.
I like to pway TSA touching with awll my interns.
Carlson would be the first one to scream bloody murder if this policy were implemented by a Republican administration….
Carlson would be the first one to scream bloody murder if this policy were implemented by a Republican administration….
No they couldn’t – instead we get geniuses like you…
Fuck you – from the grave
I plan to show up at the airport later today in sweatpants with a raging hard-on so that I’ve got a nice tent to present the TSA agent. Then I’ll say, “I think there’s something here you might be interested in..can you check this out?”
I plan to show up at the airport later today in sweatpants with a raging hard-on so that I’ve got a nice tent to present the TSA agent. Then I’ll say, “I think there’s something here you might be interested in..can you check this out?”
I plan to show up at the airport later today in sweatpants with a raging hard-on so that I’ve got a nice tent to present the TSA agent. Then I’ll say, “I think there’s something here you might be interested in..can you check this out?”
To all the PC dipshits out there against racial or ethnic profiling name the last white person to blow up a plane.
It’s interesting that the ACLU and right-wingers like Huckabee agree and are both against this policy. The Catholic Church, however, remains steadfastly behind these measures. With their cock out.
Then take the scanner idiot and no one touches you.
I also plan to ask the TSA agent if she likes it in the butt
Exactly
Agreed.
My thoughts exactly.
“anyone over 3 oz”
Someone needs to examine their motives, master.
-Jeannie
So Hillary refuses TSA checks but looks like Chelsea enjoys complying, must have gotten Bill’s genes.
Very brave hiding behind a computer. Serve tough guy or shut up
Probably someone in the IRA or the Italian Red Brigades….
The writer is complete human detritus, and if a democratic president called for executing people of other political parties in the street, you had better believe she would be right there, writing a column, exclaiming how it was nescessary. As a regular reader of bloomberg, i am constantly bombarded by her one-sided, pig-headed bs rants. I rarely read her political hack drivel, because every story is the same” Its George Bush’s fault.” Like usual, that was the same story (as always) again today. She is sickening and is (in my opinion) the poster child for everything that is wrong with politics today.
Onerous security lines can kill you.
I don’t know that anyone’s life has EVER been saved by these ‘security’ measures. That would involving actually catching a terrorist, rather than letting the surrounding passengers do it once he starts fiddling with his shoes.
OTOH, I am reasonably certain that these sorts of measures have cost lives. After all, air travel is not always (or even usually) a monopoly. Yes, if you HAVE to get from New York to Cali in a day, you have to fly it. But suppose you have a day to get from New York to, say, Baltimore. You might want to fly, as a mater of convenience and, yes, safety. But you don’t have to. You could drive.
The more onerous the security lines get, the more they scare people away who do have a choice, because they are going somewhere they could drive. It is a safe inference that this helps clog our roadways. And it is another safe inference that, by doing so, it leads to increased motor vehicle fatalities.
So to the TSA and its apologists, I have to say: you don’t occupy the moral high grounbd you imagine. This is not about inconvenience or embarrassment versus saving lives. Its about incovenience and embarrassment that almost certain kills.
Son, that’s Nobel Prize in Economics material you’ve just produced there, Well done.
Hey, dumbass: They don’t want jobs in banking because then you’d be a crook.
If you are of a certain age and went to Catholic school you probably don’ t think a thing about authority figures rubbing on your privates.
If Liz Claman is doing the touching, I’m in!
–guy who wishes Liz Claman worked at United Airlines, JFK
or something
In Soviet Russia, you feel up TSA agent’s junk!
Bob at 11:51….wow. You say, “They couldn’t get a job in banking if their life depended on it.”
Last I remember, some combination of nitwit bankers, average folks, and overly ambitious mortgage brokers fucked our economy seven ways to sundown. And our lazy government used tax money to save banker ass.
At least put together a coherent rant that does not revert to anti-government, semi anti-constitutional nonsense.
Uhm, I know a white person who tried to fly a plane into the White House. I know a white person who tried to blow up a Federal building. Oops, he did. I know a white person who stuck people in ovens. I know a white person who assassinated a president. I know a white guy who set his whole cult family on fire in Texas. So it’s probably not wise to assume that all whites will never do anything remotely evil or stupid. I even know some kindly white grandmas and grandpas who liked to yell and spit on passing negroes during school integration many years back.
I am perfectly willing to profile fellow darkies if we profile all whites who go near anything Federal. Even trade?
This includes everyone other than Bernie Madoff. Something about an “overcircumcision?”
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