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George Soros Is Long Female Condoms

Today the Journal‘s Marketbeat blog brings us the news and the ensuing visual that “after a bit of buying on Oct. 21, [Soros Fund Management] reported a 1.3 million share, or 5.1%, stake in The Female Health Co., a manufacturer of female condoms.”

Personally, never have I ever heard of a single person who’s even once used a female condom, even as a joke, but leave it to the Don Juan of the hedge fund world to be consistently ahead of the sexual trends curve. In fact, you’d be hard pressed to find another manager who would do the sort of in-depth research and analysis of a large enough sample size to reveal these findings. Investors should feel comforted knowing that they’re not just paying Mr. Soros 3 and 50 to screw around all day.

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22 Responses to “George Soros Is Long Female Condoms”

  1. Ping says:

    I wish I had known about these. I wouldn’t have had to spend so much time trying to remove ink from my anus.

  2. Anon says:

    dirty bird

  3. Guest says:

    condoms are for sailors.

    -SC

  4. Shawn_Kemp says:

    I am now also long female condoms. And condoms in general, really.

  5. Not Kidding says:

    OK all – be honest. Who besides me had to go a-googling to figure our what the hell a “female condom” even is?

  6. jorge says:

    just you.

  7. Anon says:

    It’s a sandwich bag right?

  8. Cramer says:

    Any idea what he thinks about the Dental Dam?

  9. NakedShort says:

    I was long Pull & Pray (Nasdaq: DUMB) in college. Highly volitale but never had a losing trade.

    • Richard Cripples says:

      That trade ruined a lot of other people. Did you ever look into the less volatile, but still rewarding Butt It or Gut It (Nasdaq: DRTY)?

  10. Not Kidding says:

    Oh. Damn.

  11. J. Cramer says:

    I prefer using Saran Wrap.

  12. Pink Lada says:

    George has nutin to do with this. It’s the handy work of his employeeeees who have more of a hormone reserve.

  13. Anonymous says:

    George got that tip from me

  14. Guest says:

    bess you don’t know anyone who uses them because you don’t know any black african women getting raped or having sex with men who beat them for suggesting they wear a rubber. think.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Whoa Nelly! Are you speaking from experience?

    – guy who normally thinks that commenters who defend Bess are tools

  16. Falcon Henne says:

    Ladies, don’t be fooled. Next thing you know, you’re sky high in a box, and the police are chasing after you.

    Falcon Henne
    Fooled Me Once, Nevada

  17. xel says:

    so women have bananas and other elongated objects to practice putting on a male condom on their partners, what are men going to practice on to master the use of a female condom in sex ed classes…

  18. Paris Hilton's thong says:

    pickle down a hallway long, let me tell ya.

  19. Dixie Normous says:

    This is the only context in which “George Soros”, “condom”, and “long” could occur in the same sentence.