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Goldman Sachs Considering Punishing Richard Kimball For His Prudence, Joie De Vivre

Over a year ago, at the height of the campaign to Hate on Goldman Sachs, Lloyd Blankfein issued an edict to employees: “do not be seen living high on the hog.” As a partner, Richard Kimball knew he had to set an example for the younger guys and girls and followed Blankfein’s demands to a tee. When he threw “a series of” topless parties in the Hamptons, he did so in the privacy of his Southampton rental. When he enjoyed the company of some lady friends following his divorce from Pete Peterson’s daughter Holly, he did so in the elevators of his building on Jane Street. And when he threw an alleged “naked-themed” Halloween party this October, we’re told it went down at a “secret location” not disclosed to guests until 10PM that evening. Basically, he’s showed the utmost of discretion, demonstrating to the rest of the firm how you show people a good time without making a spectacle. And yet.

According to the Post, Goldman has been considering de-partnering the Kimballer, a painful process that brings mental anguish and shame on the de-balled. Fingers crossed this is a vicious, baseless rumor, and that Lloyd and Co do the right thing.

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51 Responses to “Goldman Sachs Considering Punishing Richard Kimball For His Prudence, Joie De Vivre”

  1. Chuddy says:

    Naked-themed Halloween party gives a brand new meaning to ‘bobbing for apples’

  2. covey01 says:

    I wonder what costume Richard was wearing? B-Day suit? Some things just go too far, even for GS!

  3. Drink_her_pretty says:

    Standing around with fellow co-workers wearing nothing but a mask and cape while discussing CDOs is the NKI

  4. ErnieEnastos says:

    Richard Kimball is a pussy.

    -Keep fuckin that chicken!

  5. tits says:

    Did he ever sell that house of his?

  6. LEH Quant says:

    If you’re naked, isn’t Halloween an oxymoron?

    -LEH Quant

  7. Guest says:

    which house?

  8. LEH Quant says:

    Then how do they know it’s you at the door?

  9. Pump_and_dump says:

    We’ve been disguising ourselves as a hedge fund for years, thus Halloween is daily occurrence for us.

    Phil

  10. Intellectual Masturbator says:

    Alright, listen up, people. Our fugitive has been on the run for ninety minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gives us a radius of six miles. What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area.

  11. Dr Kimball says:

    I didn’t kill my wife!

  12. Southern Gent says:

    Next they’re probably going to accuse him of killing his wife too.

  13. Guest says:

    thank you for that. no one has ever made that joke on a Richard Kimball post before.

  14. Anonymous says:

    What is the point of becoming partner if you cant have naked parties? It reminds me of an old Chinese proverb: Man who own all goats, can not fuck goat in public -Sun Tzu

  15. Lloyd says:

    He should be de-partnered. His fucking should focused exclusively on clients of the firm.

  16. Pfluger the Barbarian says:

    Its a small fucking neighborhood, for Christ’s sake. How many times do I need to explain??!

    – The Fugitive

  17. Guest says:

    Looks like my Christmas tree won’t be the only thing getting “de-balled” come January…

  18. Short, But Long says:

    We’re going to play a wonderful game called… “Who is my daddy and what does he do?”

  19. POd says:

    If he had shoved a 2 x 4 up his ass he could have attended the party as a popsicle.

    -Guy With a Short Fuse Today

  20. The One Armed Man says:

    Yes, you fucking did!!!

  21. You forgot the second half of that proverb: “…but man who has no goats has no goats to fuck.”

  22. Intellectual Masturbator says:

    My bad. Let me try another angle and see if this is any funnier…

    “Listen bitch. I know your address. I’m one bridge over.”

    -V. Borker

  23. MIB says:

    Hey, slick, shouldn’t I get paid everytime one of you says that line of mine?

    -Tommy Lee Jones
    San Saba, TX

  24. Anonymous says:

    Your reply reminds me of an old Chinese proverb: Man who finishes other man’s proverb likes to finish other men. -Sun Tzu

    but seriously, your reply makes sense, thanks

  25. Intellectual Masturbator says:

    Nice job piling on there. You’re a profile in courage.

  26. Chuddy says:

    Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day……

    Man who masturbates into cash register cum into money………

    Man who finger girl while on period get caught red-handed……..

    Man who walk through airport security sideways going to Bangkok……

  27. Abbey Joseph Cohen says:

    My invite must have been lost in inter-office mail.

  28. Guest says:

    v good.

  29. Guest says:

    Not bad, but you forgot to capitalize Firm. 7/10

  30. waitasecond says:

    Hey, isn’t Richard Kimball the name of the character Harrison Ford played in that Shawshank movie with Tommy Lee Jones and the one-armed dude? That’s funny.

  31. That’s DOCTOR Richard Kimball.

    – Dr. Richard Kimball

  32. Intellectual Masturbator says:

    Well played, Sir.

  33. Guest says:

    Nicely done.

  34. Richard Cripples says:

    It is good for girl to meet boy in park. It is better for boy to park meat in girl.

  35. Guest says:

    Another LEH quant?

  36. Guest says:

    A guy whose name spawns a half-dozen nicknames invoving “dick” and “ball” shouldn’t have a problem finding another job on Wall Street.

  37. recko says:

    In his case ? Peyronies Well, it’s either him or WJ Clinton.

    “OHHHH, Hi Dick”

  38. Guest says:

    Man who go to bed with itchy butthole wake up with smelly fingers….

  39. Gentleman Trader says:

    man who stand on toilet, high on pot

  40. Guest says:

    The password is “Fidelio”.

    -Nick Nightingale

  41. nw says:

    Prudence and Joie De Vivre are just nightclub dancers

  42. MD says:

    You can be de-partnered for having a hot wife.

    Peruse the Greenwich Times summer party gallery pics of the dogs these guys marry….

    Wise up kids, make your $ million, move to LA /OC or EU and get some babes, IB past MD involves ZERO pussy.

  43. Evelyn Davis says:

    That makes two of us.

  44. Guest says:

    Where are all the clients naked fuck parties??

  45. Guest says:

    exacts were generally nerds who went ivy — not a lot of dime pieces to have cuddle seshes with in new haven.

  46. Guest says:

    execs*

  47. Direct TV Russian Guy says:

    When I hear Mr. Kimball having naked Halloween party.. I jump in it.