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Goldman Sachs Pulls $120 Million From Harbinger Capital After Falcone “Loans” Himself Money From Other Fund

Bloomberg reports that Goldman Sachs plans to pull its entire investment from Harbinger Capital’s flagship fund, for two reasons. 1) The returns weren’t very good and 2) Falcone “borrowed” $113 million from one of his firm’s smaller funds (where redemptions had been suspended) in order to pay personal taxes.

First off, everybody just breathe: one the hand, there’s some good news to be gleaned here– Phil Falcone pays his taxes! That’s more than you can say for a lot of people. On the other: let us take a moment to freak the fuck out! Unless we’re missing something, the fact that he needs to loan himself money from investors to pay his own taxes can’t be good and there are some serious, serious things at risk in the event things take a turn for the worst. Such as:

* Wilbur, the Falcone’s piano-playing pig. Who’s going to take him in?

* The Little People who work the Falcone children’s birthday parties

* LISA MARIE FALCONE’S WARDROBE. Gladiator. Mermaid Chic. Slutty Peacock. You think that shit comes cheap? Think again!

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303 Responses to “Goldman Sachs Pulls $120 Million From Harbinger Capital After Falcone “Loans” Himself Money From Other Fund”

  1. Homosaurus says:

    This kind of thing happens all the… oh wait. No it doesn’t. RUN MOTHERFUCKERS RUN!

  2. Guest says:

    Phil trying his hand as a telecommunications entreprenuer…..didnt Bernie Ebbers start that way? that ended well..

  3. Chuddy says:

    she’s gonna BLOW!!!!!!

  4. Arthur Ponzirelli says:

    Smells like another Madoff …

  5. Arthur Ponzirelli says:

    Smells like another Madoff …

  6. TheWinklevoss says:

    It was MY idea to pull $120 million from Harbinger!

    Other than that, I probably still have complaints.

  7. TheWinklevoss says:

    It was MY idea to pull $120 million from Harbinger!

    Other than that, I probably still have complaints.

  8. Chuddy says:

    having a plastic-faced wife, duping your investors out of redemptions and being down 15% YTD is the NKI

  9. Chuddy says:

    having a plastic-faced wife, duping your investors out of redemptions and being down 15% YTD is the NKI

  10. Guest says:

    a new piano for Wilbur?

  11. Guest says:

    a new piano for Wilbur?

  12. tits says:

    nice. This isn’t gonna end well.

    Will Lisa blow me?

  13. Chuddy says:

    I am fairly certain, and by fairly I mean 99.9%, that she cannot open her mouth wide enough to eat a spoonful or peas let alone suck on a male wand of average length.

  14. Ben Bernanke says:

    Moving money from one pocket to the other is really no big deal, especially if you really need the liquidity. Ben

  15. Ben Bernanke says:

    Moving money from one pocket to the other is really no big deal, especially if you really need the liquidity. Ben

  16. MD says:

    Some fund found his business plan in 90s and backed him

    Great start

  17. MD says:

    Some fund found his business plan in 90s and backed him

    Great start

  18. PHIL says:

    it is like robbing Peter to pay Paul….only in this case I am robbing my loyal investors to pay Uncle Sam. It is the same thing, only different, if you really think about it.

    ~ Phil

  19. PHIL says:

    it is like robbing Peter to pay Paul….only in this case I am robbing my loyal investors to pay Uncle Sam. It is the same thing, only different, if you really think about it.

    ~ Phil

  20. Guest says:

    firing the Little People and paying your taxes is also the NKI

  21. SEC official says:

    Why would anyone ever think this is suspicious?

    – SEC

  22. tits says:

    He’s being really efficient and paying the Investors tax liability for them. I think this story is being misreported.

  23. TheWinklevoss says:

    Yes?

  24. Guest says:

    Naughty naughty. My bet is that the pig survives this nightmare as he sounds like he has secondary skills that will take him places. And in a twist of fate, I predict we’ll see the Bimbette working for Wilbur this time around. I hope she was kind to him in the past.

  25. Cartwright says:

    Whats wrong with making a few loans to one’s self?

  26. Cartwright says:

    Whats wrong with making a few loans to one’s self?

  27. Jackie Treehorn says:

    Now thats a donkey / pig show I would pay to see

  28. Guest says:

    Grow up all you Yahoo Financiers. He took money from the Special Situations Fund. I’m fairly certain a private equity person actually paying taxes is a special situation and hence would qualify under the mandate. Nothing to see here. Keep moving….

  29. S. Doo says:

    Ruh-Roh, Raggy.

  30. Guest says:

    The Falcone IOU, underwritten by GS, is a suitable investment for the fund; especially given its AAA rating by S&P. We feel confident that the collateral – a pig, a Manhattan mansion, and a dime store hooker – is sufficient to cover any anticipated losses.

    -Harbinger Risk Officer

  31. Guest says:

    i see your point

  32. CobraMcJingleBalls says:

    You guys are douchers. They guy obviously has enough loot to pay his taxes. There are some intricacies here yall dont know about. Slow day at UBS?

  33. Guest says:

    lights dimmed, latest john legend record playing on iTunes.

  34. Guest says:

    I’ll bid $15 for the motorized bicycle

  35. Guest says:

    didn’t GS and CS just help them bring $350MM in bonds?

  36. tits says:

    $20? really?

  37. Guest says:

    Perhaps a Swine-way?

  38. Intellectual Masturbator says:

    Excellent execution of the animal-pun. Kudos to you sir.

  39. Anonymous says:

    you use the term ‘douchers.’

    other than that I have no concerns.

  40. Kenny Boy says:

    If I were still at the helm, we would step right in and replace GS’s withdrawal with our own investment!
    Timing. It’s pretty much everything.

    K. Lewis

  41. CobraMcJingleBalls says:

    Your last name is Levin. Other than that, I have no concerns.

  42. Anonymous says:

    You cut me so deep.

  43. ChildPleez says:

    Your last name is Levin. Other than that, I have no concerns.

  44. Anonymous says:

    You login under multiple user names to leave the same comment within minutes
    of the last.

    Other than that I have no concerns.

  45. McJingle says:

    Too deep? Not the first time I’ve gotten that.

  46. Anal_yst says:

    Worked for Adelphia, why not try it again?

  47. McJingle says:

    But I’m jacked.

  48. GIRTH says:

    Would be more a question of GIRTH, no?

  49. Anonymous says:

    Off

  50. Anonymous says:

    you are a fraud, yet you still fk with the editor. other than that, I have no concerns.

  51. Guest says:

    What a naughty Falcone.

  52. Socratic Method says:

    Although presumably she could still sip man chowder through a straw?

  53. Supporter says:

    The fact that it was posted twice shouldnt get in the way of its hilarity; its the best comment on here.

  54. Gimbby says:

    Taking money out when your investors are gated … all i can say is hope he gets AIDS .

  55. Retail Guy says:

    As someone who has been picking up shares of HRG in the past few days, I am trying to make this seem like something other than terrible. It isn’t really working.

  56. Rho2Gamma says:

    Candle light, pink dress on me, glatiator outfit on her, on a baby grand, “little people” holding their unemployment checks, camera strapped to pigs head, Swizz Beats playing on iTunes, ugly ladies with their hands in the air, all the while being audited by the IRS.

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    TJ road trip?

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