Harbinger Capital Has An Interesting Alternative Theory For Why Goldman Sachs Pulled Its Money From The Fund

Yesterday Bloomberg reported that Goldman Sachs had pulled its entire $120 million investment from Harbinger Capital’s flagship fund, citing two reasons: 1) the returns were poor and 2) Phil Falcone had “loaned” himself $113 from one of the firm’s smaller funds (at a time when redemptions were suspended) in order to pay personal taxes, which didn’t sit well with some people. Now, someone inside Harbinger is claiming that Goldman was totally cool with the fund’s performance and could care less about Falcone helping himself to a li’l cash. The real reason is that they’re just jealous.

According to a source there, the hedge fund manager believes that Goldman Sachs isn’t actually upset about the $113 million withdrawal for taxes, or even his returns, but is simply still miffed that he successfully poached hedge fund star Omar Asali last year. Mr. Asali had been the co-head of Goldman Sachs Hedge Fund Strategies, and is said to now be in charge of Harbinger’s global portfolio strategy and analytics, with risk management responsibilities, too.

Also said to be a factor in the decision was Goldman’s bitterness over Lisa Falcone stealing the lyrics to what was supposed to be the hit single on their debut album, “Everybody throw your hands in the air, ugly bitches too, we don’t care.” And in a similarly petty move, sources close to the situation are citing the reason for Blackstone’s Harbinger withdraw to be Steve Schwarzman’s envy over the Falcones having the most talented barnyard animal in Manhattan on staff, when he can’t even get his Doberman to dance.

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36 Responses to “Harbinger Capital Has An Interesting Alternative Theory For Why Goldman Sachs Pulled Its Money From The Fund”

  1. Guest says:

    I believe Phil bought Omar over only because Lisa said she “just had to have one to play with and because none of her friends had one.”

  2. Guesting quietly says:

    I hear the pig is pretty talented too.

  3. Anonymous says:

    “Also said to be a factor in the decision was growing Goldman’s bitterness over Falcone having the most talented barnyard animal in Manhattan on staff.”

    Did you hear he has a pig too?

  4. trojan says:

    he was poached from UBS

  5. Meatbone9 says:

    Mmmm poached pig.

  6. CS says:

    Until Falcone’s can sing “Closet Bitch”, Marc Lasry’s pet pig is the most talented in Manhattan

  7. AmericanBandersnatch says:

    Goldman’s a punk outfit. In my league, a guy named Omar who tries to play for more than one team ends up hanging from a helicopter,
    – Tony M, Miami, FL.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Playa haters.

  9. Milburn Drysdale says:

    Milburn Drysdale, Goldman Sachs VP dictating a letter: “….And further, Mrs. Jones, if you miss another mortgage payment I’ll have you thrown out in the street.”

    Jane Hathaway, Administrative Assistant to Mr. Drysdale: “But Chief, Mrs. Jones is an 88 year old widow confined to a wheelchair!!”

    Milburn Drysdale, Goldman Sachs VP: “Oh my gosh, you’re right. Change that to “I’ll have you wheeled out onto the street.”

  10. Guest says:

    Kim Kardashian and Falcone are going to be partners a boutique in Manhattan called “Doosh”.

  11. Community Organizer says:

    It is not the fund returns, the fund strategy or the borrowing of cash for taxes that motivated Goldman to redeem; it was simply Goldman’s inability to understand our substantial results and accomplishments. Clearly we should have better communicated our successes over the last two years.

  12. Chris Brown's Punching bag says:

    Mamase Mamasa Mamacusa Mamase Mamasa Mamacusa Mamase Mamasa Mamacusa Mamase Mamasa Mamacusa

    Please don’t stop the music

  13. Guest says:

    That dress/duvet/whatever it is never gets old.

  14. Guest says:

    that picture looks like something Louis XIV might have dreamed of if liked womanly dudes

  15. Anonymous says:


  16. Bodie says:

    Omar comin’! Omar comin’!

  17. Martink says:

    She is cursed and he is going down the drain….Wait and SEC…..

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