Yesterday Bloomberg reported that Goldman Sachs had pulled its entire $120 million investment from Harbinger Capital’s flagship fund, citing two reasons: 1) the returns were poor and 2) Phil Falcone had “loaned” himself $113 from one of the firm’s smaller funds (at a time when redemptions were suspended) in order to pay personal taxes, which didn’t sit well with some people. Now, someone inside Harbinger is claiming that Goldman was totally cool with the fund’s performance and could care less about Falcone helping himself to a li’l cash. The real reason is that they’re just jealous.
According to a source there, the hedge fund manager believes that Goldman Sachs isn’t actually upset about the $113 million withdrawal for taxes, or even his returns, but is simply still miffed that he successfully poached hedge fund star Omar Asali last year. Mr. Asali had been the co-head of Goldman Sachs Hedge Fund Strategies, and is said to now be in charge of Harbinger’s global portfolio strategy and analytics, with risk management responsibilities, too.
Also said to be a factor in the decision was Goldman’s bitterness over Lisa Falcone stealing the lyrics to what was supposed to be the hit single on their debut album, “Everybody throw your hands in the air, ugly bitches too, we don’t care.” And in a similarly petty move, sources close to the situation are citing the reason for Blackstone’s Harbinger withdraw to be Steve Schwarzman’s envy over the Falcones having the most talented barnyard animal in Manhattan on staff, when he can’t even get his Doberman to dance.
I believe Phil bought Omar over only because Lisa said she “just had to have one to play with and because none of her friends had one.”
I hear the pig is pretty talented too.
“Also said to be a factor in the decision was growing Goldman’s bitterness over Falcone having the most talented barnyard animal in Manhattan on staff.”
Did you hear he has a pig too?
you beat me
he was poached from UBS
Mmmm poached pig.
Until Falcone’s can sing “Closet Bitch”, Marc Lasry’s pet pig is the most talented in Manhattan
Goldman’s a punk outfit. In my league, a guy named Omar who tries to play for more than one team ends up hanging from a helicopter,
- Tony M, Miami, FL.
Playa haters.
Milburn Drysdale, Goldman Sachs VP dictating a letter: “….And further, Mrs. Jones, if you miss another mortgage payment I’ll have you thrown out in the street.”
Jane Hathaway, Administrative Assistant to Mr. Drysdale: “But Chief, Mrs. Jones is an 88 year old widow confined to a wheelchair!!”
Milburn Drysdale, Goldman Sachs VP: “Oh my gosh, you’re right. Change that to “I’ll have you wheeled out onto the street.”
Kim Kardashian and Falcone are going to be partners a boutique in Manhattan called “Doosh”.
It is not the fund returns, the fund strategy or the borrowing of cash for taxes that motivated Goldman to redeem; it was simply Goldman’s inability to understand our substantial results and accomplishments. Clearly we should have better communicated our successes over the last two years.
Mamase Mamasa Mamacusa Mamase Mamasa Mamacusa Mamase Mamasa Mamacusa Mamase Mamasa Mamacusa
Please don’t stop the music
That dress/duvet/whatever it is never gets old.
that picture looks like something Louis XIV might have dreamed of if liked womanly dudes
agree
Omar comin’! Omar comin’!
She is cursed and he is going down the drain….Wait and SEC…..
is the boutique selling bags?
Oh, so you just sat down and pumped out this skirt? How do you do that? I envy your clothes-making skillz.
And I know I am horribly late and I’m shame-faced because you were dead on with mine, but happy birthday!!!!!