From: [redacted at Morgan Stanley]
To: [his colleagues]
Subject: FOODSomeone stole my dinner on Friday night…I’m not happy. I just want everyone to know that everyone is a suspect.
I’m stronger athletically and better looking than everyone in this office. I do background checks for a living and I will hunt you down. I will find you and when I do find you– It’s OVER. Dead. If you know something tell me and I will spare you.
TAX DEPARTMENT = DEAD
[redacted]
750 Seventh Avenue | New York, NY 10019
Back office dinner war!
I just lost my lunch.
Looks like someone forgot to lock their computer when they went to take a whiz.
I like this guy!
/Elijah Dukes
I see dead people next Friday
He’s a soon to be ex-MS employee. No one threatens the tax man.
Bess, nice tags btw.
What’s a background check?
~ SEC
Wall Street’s smartest. I want to hire this guy!
He’s better looking than us? We better take him seriously…..
Redacted = Aleksey Vayner
The sad thing is HR will get called in. Someone will claim this is a threat of physical violence in the workplace, and demand class-action compensation. This poor back-office tax accountant will be fired (if he’s lucky), but if he’s not, he’ll be shipped off to a month of sensitivity training.
It was probably Yoko.
-guy who is pissed he’s now bought the White Album more times than he’s been interviewed by GS
I did not take your dinner, stop calling me a suspect.
Eve Ryone
ok, check your desk, I put it back, but it’s been “organically processed” if you get my drift
what kind of loser eats dinner at their desk on a Friday night?
Get a fucking life, doucher!
his email reads, “stole his dinner on “the friday night”?
did he also attend “the ohio state university”?
i hate this guy.
That’s nothing. Pulling that shit where I come from ends up getting your security clearence revoked, 2 weeks pay, a Rear Admiral up your ass with a phone to the CEO asking what imbecile cleared that nutjob in the first place, and several Congressional investigations.
-former quant who now works on more sensitive matters
Damn, when did Gasparino get hired at MS???
Give me back that fillet o fish!
Ms. Levin,
We at Morgan Stanley Human Resources first want to congratulate you on running such a successful and honestly funny website. We appreciate you providing many of our employees an outlet from what can be a very stressful and driven environment.
It is rewarding to see that certain individuals, when faced with some internal conflict or misunderstanding in our workplace, can openly express themselves to their co-workers, and that Morgan Stanley also fosters a postive self-image. We would love to speak with this individual, if only to help us help him or her, and see where we can improve our processes re: refridgerator security.
Thank you for your assistance in this matter, and we all look forward to your prompt reply.
Regards,
Tits McGee
Human Resources Drone
Morgan Stanley
750 Seventh Avenue
New York, NY 10019
This kind of stuff happens here all the time. No big deal.
CSI: NY – Mac investiages the death of a Morgan Stanley tax department employee whose body was found behind the popular Minetta Tavern in NY’s Greenwich Village…
Less really is more.
Bazinga!
Ha
Wasn’t me…..
“wipes chicken alfredo sauce off triple chin”.
- Raj Rajaratnam. .
Never leave a McRib unattended, idiot.
-Hamburgular
Goddamnit, you fucking suck. Name change and all.
Emperors club?
Hmmm. So a tax dweeb made off with the “lone under 35 hetero in HR group” dinner? Is this an excuse for violence at the workplace? Seriously?
Oh, he’s good looking and once picked up a 10 pack of personal training sessions at NYSC? OK, that’s cool.
Since DB readers are more experienced in doing background checks and exposing those who are socially retarded, can someone please provide pictures of this guy?
Isn’t MS a white shoes firm? What is this guy going to do when he catches his man?
Revoke his secret society membership?
Blackball him from country clubs in CT?
Engage in an slapfight?
No marker, no deal. Next!
-P. Jiang
that was me
At $200MM per day.
Does he only bang 8′s and up?
Stealing ones dinner is an ass-poundable offense.
Yeah the whole Dean Witter/Smith Barney thing kind of did away with the white shoes…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMtZfW2z9dw
Yep, a classic
Suck my dick. The day I start giving two giraffe fucks what you internet backoffice slugs think about what I say or do is the day I stop excepting your mothers $20 blowjobs.
Now get back to filing excel spreadsheets and being a bitch while I make more money in one day than you do in a month…
It sure is.
This is what happens, Larry.
WE GON FIIIIIIND YOU, WE GON FIIIIND YOU. so run and tell that, run and tell that home home boy.
We got yo t-shirt. you done left yo fingerprints and all. You are so dumb. you are really dumb, for real
WE GON FIIIIIIND YOU, WE GON FIIIIND YOU. so run and tell that, run and tell that home home boy.
We got yo t-shirt. you done left yo fingerprints and all. You are so dumb. you are really dumb, for real
Yes Bess – nice “tags”
Yes Bess – nice “tags”
Even though you are Mexican, you seem normal to me.
Even though you are Mexican, you seem normal to me.
speaking of dinner…how do you get a dead baby out of a blender?
TOSTITOS!!!!
Listen up folks because I’m only going to tell you this once. I enjoy pissing all you scumbags off. It’s amusing to me. The fact that for some reason your day is slightly worse for reading whatever I have to say is a small thrill I get.
Now I post things my coworkers and I think are funny – deal with it. Don’t like it? Too damn bad. Have a problem? You know what I look like and exactly where I work, let’s schedule an appointment and you can tell me all about it.
let’s not and say we didn’t.
Let’s shut the fuck up and say we did.
Never underestimate the return of THE McRib.
why don’t you just email it to your co-workers chief, since no one else finds it funny.
Meet me at Minetta’s. I’ll be the guy casually adding value to conversations with my friends. Interrupt us and demand to be punched in the face so we know it’s you. I will oblige.
AFN
You of all people should know the perils of consuming food and drink you find lying around. Need I remind you of the incident with the orange juice at Brinkley Court.
Toodles
BWW
sooo are we meeting or not?
Hide your chicken, hide your tupper ware, hide your sporks, cause they be raping all fridges up in here.
Hide your chicken, hide your tupper ware, hide your sporks, cause they be raping all fridges up in here.
First Year Analist at Ping Capital?
That’s a good point ‘OK’ so let me address that. Actually, you DO like my comments when I post them under guest (I’ve done this twice)…You have personally in fact liked at least one: http://dealbreaker.com/2010/11/sir-allen-stanford-beaten-to-point-of-losing-feeling-on-right-side-of-face-for-a-second-time/#comment-95156746
What you don’t like is my username because it is associated with arrogance and chauvinism. I rest my case. Now get back to workkkkkkkkkk
I suggest you learn how to spell analyst, it will make your insults more effective.
And Gorman sits around his corner office wondering why Goldman kicks his ass every quarter….sheesh!
Or a deuce with reading material tucked under arm
Learn your SAC history and you would have gotten his joke
He sounds like he went to Princeton- picture him in a Tiger Tie- makes you tremble they mean business at those Eating Clubs!
Pure genius. This slam works on multiple levels.
malaprop
he’ll never work for “the goldman sachs”
Pointing out other comments you made on DB that people thought were funny is the NKI?
Pointing out other comments you made on DB that people thought were funny is the NKI?
tarded much?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTUY16CkS-k
Dear Deadly:
I’ve been feeling regrets since I made this very poor decision on Friday. Please be so kind to meet me tonight at Minetta’s, so I can set things right. I’ll be wearing a plaid dinner jacket carrying a brown paper bag with your dinner. I’m sure I’ll spot you as the best looking man in the room, but just in case, tap me on the shoulder.
P.S. I’ll also be carrying a highly sharpened mail opener, so no funny stuff, please.
Sincerely,
Art Fleischenberger
Senior Mail Room Specialist
Morgan Stanley
750 Seventh Avenue | New York, NY 10019
Fyi, Ping is up >100% this year. I dont know about you but I would let him shove a marker up my ass for 100% annual… wait… no, well, ya… I guess that’s my price.
Dean Witter used to be in Sears.. and the the joke was stocks and socks…
Morgan Stanley used to be considered ‘white shoe’…
so when they merged… the joke was ‘white shoe, white sox’… Still makes me laugh..
Student Driver
Stupid post!!!!
Only joke I see is someone who decides to work in the MS tax department…