According to a filing, the investigations are looking at “particular investments and trading in securities of particular issuers,” and it’s unclear as to who is conducting the probe (or if it’s related to the inquiry the Securities and Exchange Commission reported last week). One thing, however, is clear.

Phil and the rest of the Falcones don’t need this shit– someone cut them a break! The guy’s fund is down a not insignificant amount, he can’t afford to pay his taxes without borrowing himself some money from investors, said investors are all over his ass about said loan and now regulators, the one group of people he thought he could count on to give him a little breathing room, are on his ass. Everyone is down in the dumps at Chez Falcone– in fact, the only thing getting the couple and their staff of Little People through these trying times is the nightly performances by Wilbur, the family’s singing and dancing pig. And who knows? The way things are going, as their most valuable asset, they might have to trade him, too.

This is a message: LEAVE PHIL ALONE!

Falcone’s Trading Investigated [Reuters]

Comments (17)

  1. Posted by tits | November 18, 2010 at 6:07 PM

    It never lasts forever… Phil, when you’re in jail toss Lisa my way. I’ll give her a bone. I’m sure she’ll wait for you.

  2. Posted by indridcold | November 18, 2010 at 6:18 PM

    i read somewhere that he has a Muppets take Manhattan tattoo on his left buttock. Bess, is the group of people you’re referring to?

  3. Posted by Anonymous | November 18, 2010 at 6:22 PM

    As I said last week I feel like ahit is about to hit the fan at Harbringer

  4. Posted by guest | November 18, 2010 at 6:27 PM

    Michigan J Frog > the Notorious PIG

  5. Posted by TrigMelon | November 18, 2010 at 6:28 PM

    Informally, I can just about fit my entire fist up my own ass.

  6. Posted by Lloyd's cousin | November 18, 2010 at 6:33 PM

    Screwing Lisa while Phil services a cotton picker in jail is the NKI.

  7. Posted by Aldous Snow | November 18, 2010 at 6:39 PM

    Lisa, when life hands you a Jeffrey, just stroke the furry walls.

  8. Posted by Seaman Bodine | November 18, 2010 at 6:49 PM

    the only thing making me happier than the thought of phil falcone going to jail is the reality of steve ratner going to jail

  9. Posted by Jason STATHAM. | November 18, 2010 at 6:52 PM

    Consider the fan “hit”.

  10. Posted by Joshua David | November 18, 2010 at 6:53 PM

    I’M GOING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS AND I DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU’RE AT THE TOP.

    -Joshua David

  11. Posted by Guest | November 18, 2010 at 7:01 PM

    Scene: Manhattan District Court, Courtroom #2
    ….
    Defense attorney: I would like to call to the stand Mr. Wilbur Falcone.

    The Honorable Judge Hepplewhite: Although I find the defense’s argument that the defendant’s pet pig obtained the defendant’s password and excuted trades on the defendant’s computer without the defendant’s knowledge somewhat incredulous, I will accept the witness.

  12. Posted by guesticles | November 18, 2010 at 7:09 PM

    I think this chick is missing a toe. no?

  13. Posted by guesticles | November 18, 2010 at 7:09 PM

    I think this chick is missing a toe. no?

  14. Posted by guestosaurus | November 18, 2010 at 7:15 PM

    that outfit will do great on a bankruptcy administrator -run auction of personal belongings

  15. Posted by Gladiator | November 18, 2010 at 7:21 PM

    Are you not entertained?! ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

    -Spaniard

  16. Posted by Arthur Ponzirelli | November 18, 2010 at 7:45 PM

    I see nothing wrong here.

  17. Posted by Ping Jiang | November 18, 2010 at 8:20 PM

    I know a thing or two about informal investigations. Please follow me to the conference room.

    - P. Jiang