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Shaq Versus The Harvard Crew Team

This event needs a corporate sponsor.

The basketball star expressed his intentions to race against Harvard’s top rowers in a four with Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, and Paul Pierce…Of course, the appeal of this race has little to do with the historical legacies of the two franchises. Just think of all the intrigue that would surround a competition such as this. Would Shaq fit into the boat? What seat would he row? Would any of them be good? (Personally, I think Garnett, Allen, and Rondo have potential.) Could the Celtics manage to stay afloat or would they finish the race (or the warm-up) with a Charles River baptism?

[Crimson via Daily Intel]

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449 Responses to “Shaq Versus The Harvard Crew Team”

  1. Guest says:

    Insert swim and motive examination jokes (here)

  2. Guest says:

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  49. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  50. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  51. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  52. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  53. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  54. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  55. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  56. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  57. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  58. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  59. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  60. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  61. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  62. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  63. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  64. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  65. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  66. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  67. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  68. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  69. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  70. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  71. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  72. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  73. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  74. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  75. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  76. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  77. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  78. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  79. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  80. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  81. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  82. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  83. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  84. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  85. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  86. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  87. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    I can only assume that Steve Nash will be the coxswain.

    Also before we really get into this I encourage everyone to examine their motives.

  88. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  89. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  90. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  91. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  92. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  93. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  94. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  95. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  96. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  97. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  98. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  99. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  100. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  101. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  102. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  103. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  104. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  105. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  106. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  107. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  108. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  109. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  110. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  111. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  112. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  113. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  114. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  115. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  116. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  117. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  118. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  119. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  120. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  121. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  122. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  123. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  124. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  125. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  126. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  127. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  128. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  129. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  130. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  131. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  132. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  133. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  134. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  135. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  136. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  137. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  138. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  139. Dork says:

    There’s no way that shell stays afloat.

    –Guy who wanted to demonstrate that he knows crew guys call their boats “shells”

  140. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  141. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  142. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  143. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  144. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  145. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  146. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  147. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  148. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  149. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  150. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  151. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  152. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  153. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  154. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  155. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  156. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  157. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  158. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  159. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  160. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  161. Guest says:

    The only way this would be more entertaining is if they were in shackles and had a white coxswain dressed as John Newton.

  162. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  163. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  164. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  165. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  166. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  167. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  168. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  169. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  170. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  171. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  172. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  173. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  174. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  175. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  176. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  177. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  178. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  179. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  180. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  181. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  182. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  183. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  184. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  185. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  186. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  187. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  188. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  189. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  190. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  191. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  192. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  193. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  194. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  195. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  196. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  197. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  198. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  199. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  200. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  201. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  202. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  203. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  204. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  205. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  206. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  207. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  208. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  209. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  210. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  211. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  212. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  213. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  214. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  215. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  216. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  217. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  218. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  219. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  220. Ping says:

    Can I be the stroke?

  221. Anonymous says:

    White men can’t jump = black men can’t swim?

  222. Gozer says:

    Are they going to go the entire middle passage?

  223. General Disarray says:

    They aren’t going to bother rowing. Those men are all giants. They will simply jog down the Charles River while laughing at the Harvard team.

  224. tyler winklevoss says:

    Harvard men never lose at anything.

  225. Ari Emmanuel says:

    Everyone Knows Black people can’t swim

  226. indridcold says:

    i can’t wait for the follow up story a year from now when their waspy fiances are popping out 3ft half and halfs.

  227. Thank you, that was udderly devine.

  228. Guest says:

    I’m pretty sure ABC already has a stable of corporate sponsors for this ongoing TV show.

    http://abc.go.com/shows/shaq-vs

  229. General Disarray says:

    Except for those pesky gender discrimination lawsuits.

  230. Guest26 says:

    Better competion–how many Harvard pussies can Shaq and Co. pound in one hour–male or female…

  231. Steadfast Morley says:

    Are you a Winklevoss?

  232. Erin Go Yeah Brah says:

    Yeah. No one go calling Shaquille O’Neal a mick.

  233. CoveredLong says:

    Neigh, thank you for cowntinuing the animal puns – they have become few and far between, but the resistence lives. Vive la Vache!

  234. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    Imposter! Get your own handle! Or at least write something really witty.

  235. Guest says:

    Perhaps you guys can get together for drinks?

    –“Guest” in the first instance, wiping a tear of joy from his eye because he was able to bring two like-minded people together with his initial comment

  236. Anonymous says:

    There have to be jokes about strokesides, head races and bump races to crack but, as y’all know, I am not Richard Prior and can’t think of any that are clever enough to post (leave it alone). I will be forever in debt to any of youse who can pop (leave this alone aussi) a ROFLUTS comment for me. Thx. xoxo

  237. Anonymous says:

    It’s Harvard, not Arizona State. The number of girls hot enough to interest an NBA player is zero.

  238. Intellectual Masturbator says:

    Hey! Dark- skinned brothers is comin’ back!

    -Nate Robinson

  239. Intellectual Masturbator says:

    Hey! Dark- skinned brothers is comin’ back!

    -Nate Robinson

  240. Intellectual Masturbator says:

    Don’t get too excited, probably just a red herring. Dulce de leche!

  241. D. Kneale says:

    I put the gimp in “gimp seat.”

  242. wow says:

    Read all of these comments with the voice of Stewie from the Family Guy in your head. Scary.

  243. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    Meet me at Minetta’s. I’ll be the guy that you think is you. Punch yourself in the face so I know it’s you.

  244. Wowzers says:

    I did it and it wasn’t scary- it was scary awesome.

  245. Paco says:

    Rondo will cox.

  246. Potable Alpha says:

    They should row across the Atlantic and see who makes it alive.

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