Luis Caselles Peréz, pictured, is a Spanish-born business student who recently set up a website in order to share a dream, which he states plainly:
“As a Master student, I feel that the environment evolving from this and the resulting new paradigms of the industry offer many learning opportunities. Being in my last year of Business School education, I have a great opportunity to become the man I always wanted to be: an Investment Banker.”
For those of you wanting to hear some qualifications before hiring him, a CV is available. In addition to a degree in business administration, several summer internships, occasional gigs as a motivational speaker, “advanced skills in Texas Instruments calculators: BA II Plus (fixed income) and TI-89 Titanium (equities/derivatives),” and a driver’s license, Luis is a CFA Level II candidate and founded a company called Stocklyzer (Stock + Analyzer), which he “started in order to provide private customers and independent managers with high return potential investment ideas.”
LCP’s final words: As you have probably seen, I am a young student. Therefore, it is reasonable to assume that I do not know anything compared to an experienced executive. But growing up is a constant learning process. ways in tune with Wall Street Journal and Financial Times, analyzing entire markets with my own models, networking with people from a wide variety of cultures, non-stopping at the escalators and sorrounded by a Financial World in constant change. I want to be part of the “Next Generation of Investment Bankers”.
Though some things seemed to have been lost in translation, there’s no denying the kid’s got moxie. Make him an offer today.
I have a rule (one of several) when interviewing people. Anyone who freely mentions their degrees or school of education gets punched in the face.
Let’s run through the checklist
- Red tie – check
- Inflated sense of self-worth – check
- 2nd tier business school degree – check
- Accounting and finance coursework that scratches the surface – check
- A burning desire to escape 20% unemployment in Spain – check
- A desire to be a man – check b/c men create pitchbooks
- Clear lack of judgment – check, double-check
with that kind of (wall) street “cred,” I’m sure he will be sent directly to interview 15 of the goldman process where he is told to report to an empty room with three very uncomfortable chairs, no internet/cell reception and no one shows up for 3 hours.
By far the best part:
Absolute geographical availability (worldwide). Driving License and own vehicle.
Retail, maybe Private Client Services at best.
this guy gives “occasional” motivational speeches
Could be me…but i think this guy has PASSION
How is this kid not at Columbia Business School?
Sounds like a poofy kiss ass.
Stay thirsty my friend.
- The Most Interesting Man in the World
from the pic, it looks like he’s got some good experience -the ship he’s standing on looks like it’s sinking.
“I really care about keeping “in touch” and my main objective is to leave everyone pleased after our encounter.”
At least he’s willing to work for it…
Aleksey? Is that you?
That resume would look a lot more attractive if it had Harvard Extension School on it.
Hey, that’s not a ship ! It looks a little like the roof of UBS.
When he says football player, he means soccer, right?
Anyone ever heard of any of the firms on his res?
He forgot to mention that he has many leather-bound books, and that his apartment smells of rich mahogany.
Almost as good as one resume I read that said, under “skills”:
AOL 3.0
HIRED! A thousand times, HIRED!!
Someone give this kid a backhand to the orbital socket.
Has he ever considered piracy? He would make an excellent Dread Pirate Roberts.
Somebody watched Wall Street 2 way too many times.
Nicely done.
This guy sounds like a top performer. Give us a call, don’t worry about the diploma.
General Manager
Domino’s Inc.
Wahl Street
Crosby, TX 77532
“Son, do you have a car? Great. You’ll need it in Tokyo.”
Once, then.
I also non-stopping at the escalators
I also love saving ze money
No passion for Sharpies… clearly not PingCap material…
Pretty sure he’s breaking copyright laws on three different continents by using those logos without permission. CFAI is like Terry Benedict: first they’ll kill ya, and then they’ll go to work on ya.
- Guy Who Loves Ocean’s 11 References, obvi.
Might be hired if he aced the fixed income part of CFA1, specifically DP, duration purchases.
-J.Gudlaff
Reason #1: Self Confidence
http://www.luiscaselles.com/images/about/Reason1.jpg
Reason #1: Self Confidence
http://www.luiscaselles.com/images/about/Reason1.jpg
“Schoof of Business and Economics, Maastricht University”
Should have gone to the Boof Schoof at the University of Chicago.
Inigo Montoya would be more ethnically-appropriate, though.
Bonobos model/salesman.
really, give up commenting forever
All that effort and he still makes a typo on the CV, classic
Don’t make me slap you with my Nobels punk
funny, that’s what I told your mom last night.
-kthxbye.
Luis: You know, I had and idea like that once…
Michael: Really, what was it Tom?
Luis: I call it the Stocklyzer – it let’s you analyze your stocks!!
Michael: That is the worst idea I’ve ever heard Tom.
Samir: Yes, horrible. This idea is just horrible.
Put him in the jail right now, another one of those Kerviel family boys – computer engineering in the head (look at the sleep website design) & finance in the ***k (before he pisses on someone else’s books)
You see what I’m doing? This is what I’m about – power suit, power tie, power steering. People can wince, cry, beg, but eventually they do what I want.
- Guy who thinks that is what the Luis is thinking with in his photos and at the same time cannot believe he is using a quote from the movie Hitch but that guy from Burn Notice is in it and Burn Notice isn’t bad if you’re into that kind of show
Anyone who uses a Ti-89 (Platnium) calculator to calculate options is a tool.
-Guy who uses a Ti-83
I hear Guerriero Wealth Management is hiring
“As a Master Baiter, I feel that the environment evolving from this and the resulting new paradigms of outdoor sport offer many fishing opportunities. Being in my last year of living off of the “profits that do not exist,” I have a great opportunity to become the man I always wanted to be: a Nantucket couch surfer.”
Meet me at Los Minetta-o’s – I’ll be the one with the Sangria Rojo and Panties Azul.
I haven’t surrounded myself with Financial World since they stopped publishing in 1998.
On his website he states that his nationality is “Spanish”. Shouldn’t that go where language skills are listed? What a bonehead mistake.
AIG Quant
Is the ‘living in a van down by the river’ joke really not funny enough?
-full time motivational speaker
This guy makes no fucking sense at all.
He left out the fact that he is also a serial killer. No doubt the ball-tuck dance is a signature move prior to finishing his victims and …
Listen, you’ll have to excuse me. I have a lunch meeting with Cliff Huxtable at the Four Seasons in 20 minutes.
YES!!!
Wait . . . what?
He didn’t send you his personal website to post on your blog, Bess. Have some shame. How fair is it to call him out like that?
This guy posted his CV and personal information on the internet in order to find a job in finance. A popular finance blog linked to it and led many, many readers to look at his site. Man, he must be so pissed at Bess right now!
Uh oh…
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dude, you are spanish, i see lots of lawncare in your future
How does one say “douche” in Spanish?
“Seňor Matt Taibbi”
Añal_yst
Ahem. Bess, if I may?
I hope you burn for your stupidity, Gust.
ways in tune with Wall Street Journal and Financial Times
he apparently knows how to waste time and lose money
“Level 2 Examination Candidate (June 2011)
Level 1 Examination Passed (Frankfurt, June 2010)
I am committed to pass the 3 levels and obtain the right to use the CFA denomination.”
[CFA Logo]
Um, what? No you have not, by definition.
-Humble CFA Level 1 Candidate
Is the Stockalyzer is similar to a breathalyzer in your car but attached to your computer? If so, this guys definitely needs one. http://dealbreaker.com/2010/06/fsa-sets-dangerous-precedent-in-drunk-trader-case/
Really? Do they have reading comprehension on the CFA exam? For your sake I hope not.
So you’re saying it’s cool that he puts the CFA logo on his resume after L1 just because he says he’s “committed” to pass the three levels?
Impossible is nothing
I like ice cream
Finger-licketty deliciousness – there’s none of that ehre
Website down. Anyone copy the pages?
It’s OK, I have a backup of the entire internet (XCOPY ftw!). Did you want me to send it to you as an attachment? Not to worry, I will Winzip it …
DaBull can I have a copy of it as a PDF? Our office does not allow ziiped archives due to the large number of incidents off late involving russian models from various sites I can’t mention here.
Oh, while we’re on this topic, would you happen to have a copy of the internet from the time Al Gore claims he “built” it? That would be great. I would have Luis “analyze” it using the same concepts he used for the stock analyzer.
You are sooo silly! When you get the pdf it will most certainly have the Russian models! I did say the *entire* internet. Sheesh!
In the meantime I had a look at the earlier pages (well, I skimmed) and Al Gore did build the internet using an iPhone app. I think it was called “iGarage Internet” or something like that (there’s an app for everything including iInstantRussianBride).
Hey … umm… r we going off topic? Oh well, nvm. I’m sure the bullfighter has a job by now.
and quite possibly some rectal bleeding
What an idiot. I feel sorry for the guy
Good website skills.. that’s the best i can say
and wtf is rotterdam … is that a college .. i thought it was some weed village in holand …
Given that Bess has found you and put you on DB, life time of mockery – Check
bitter coz you didn’t get accepted to an Ivy League, bitch
Or, keeping it real given a certain air of entitlement that can accompany said education.
Nicely done.
“As a Master student”–I hear Meredith Whitney is looking for Analysts…
Querido muerdealmohadas,
Tengo un puesto perfecto para ti: GPL (Global Project Lameculos).
Si no te gusta, podemos ofrecerte otro de SC (Soplapollas Coordinator).
Esperando estos puestos sean de tu agrado. Recibe un cordial saludo, matao.
wow, shut up
Incredible.
-No Homo
Watched American Psycho and thought that Investment Banker by day and guy who chases women naked down a hallway with a chainsaw is the NKI – Check
Cluzo…
Why did you bring assclown’s mom into the conflict? Really, TGFD thinks you are better than that. I haven’t been around DB much lately, but in the past, I always got the impression that you didn’t immediately resort to personal attacks as soon as a conflict began.
Perhaps you and assclown have some history that is unknown to me.
The Guy from Delaware
You should never, ever, under any circumstance use the word paradigm unless you are planning to work in consulting.
Could be the perfect replacement for Michael Scott in the Office.
“So Luis, you have any plannnnns this weekend?”
“Haha…no, no plans.”
“GREAT, how’d you like to mow my lawn?”
I would say: Ignorante capullo, or flipao, or engreido, many slang words could work…but not a specific one
Muy grande!!! Ya estaba cansado de los poco hirientes mensajes en inglés, esta gente no sabe lo que es la ironia española.
Menudo matao colega!!
Conquest, War, Famine, Death and Investment Banker.
Opulence! I has it!
that’s what she said
I didn’t know that using TVM solver on a TI-89 qualified as something you could put on your resume. That’s probably why Goldman never called me. Damn.
FACT!
On a serious note, Burn Notice is pretty cool…
lol… I met this kid a month ago, I posted about it here:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?p=555357093#post555357093
lol… I met this kid a month ago, I posted about it here:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?p=555357093#post555357093
http://www.facebook.com/luiscaselles
Los ingleses nunca consiguen cansados con la ayuda de google traducen. El Internet nunca duerme.
I think this guy is actually very smart… haven’t you seen his CV? He worked for a Viral Marketing company… perhaps he actually did all this on purpose just to spread his CV across the financial industry.
Everyone here at the Canary Wharf has seen his website, even my bosses have been talking about him, and I have heard rumors that he actually got hired by an investment bank.
please i need to have a copy of this….
please i need to have a copy of this….
please i need to have a copy of this….
th master’s degree he’s doing is placed 11th on the financial times ranking 2010 in Msc., by the way,yeah it’s a college!
Habría que ver qué clase de basura se esconde tras el anonimato (o no) del INTERNÉ… Recibe un cordial saludo, bazzzzura.