• 09 Dec 2010 at 12:06 PM

Bonus Watch ’10: JPMorgan Will Not Be Making Friends In IB

By Bess Levin

Yesterday it was suggested that bonuses at JPMorgan will be roughly equal to 2009. Apparently that’s only if you’re lucky.

We’re told that the expectation bonuses will be flat year on year was “optimistic.” Apparently they will be “down about 10 – 15% across the board in IB.”

Comments (19)

  1. 1
    Posted by Zing | December 9, 2010 at 5:12 PM

    They sought advice from their coal traders.

  2. 2
    Posted by Guesty Guest | December 9, 2010 at 5:15 PM

    Good.

    They should put more $$$ aside for new analyst class pictures.

  3. 3
    Posted by Guest | December 9, 2010 at 5:15 PM

    We got a shout-out…
    http://feverbook.com/blog/2010/12/9/i-am-a-white-trash-whore-i-guess.html

  4. 4
    Posted by Guest | December 9, 2010 at 5:19 PM

    suckas.

    -LB

  5. 5
    Posted by Lord Humongous | December 9, 2010 at 5:20 PM

    Why am I not suprised

  6. 6
    Posted by Duh | December 9, 2010 at 5:24 PM

    That sound you hear is the gentle sobbing of mistresses and coke dealers. Happy Holidays!

  7. 7
    Posted by Guest | December 9, 2010 at 5:24 PM

    you probably were (or just had no idea), but for some reason thought leaving that comment made you sound clever? other than that I’m not sure.

  8. 8
    Posted by Homosaurus | December 9, 2010 at 5:33 PM

    Swallow or gargle? has to be the first question….

  9. 9
    Posted by Guessed | December 9, 2010 at 5:39 PM

    rake

  10. 10
    Posted by Lord Humongous | December 9, 2010 at 5:44 PM

    I am intimately experienced with the tightwad ways of the HOD, a senior exec once admitted in a town hall that they know they pay less than other banks on the street. Hence my comment, ok there Hoss?

  11. 11
    Posted by Guest | December 9, 2010 at 5:46 PM

    fine. okay.

    -Hoss

  12. 12
    Posted by Guest | December 9, 2010 at 5:46 PM

    you rang?

    - JD

  13. 13
    Posted by Guest | December 9, 2010 at 5:47 PM

    you wanna say that to my face?

    -HouseOfDimon tightwad who doesn’t like what you’re getting at

  14. 14
    Posted by Lord Humongous | December 9, 2010 at 5:50 PM

    I can meet you at Minetta’s tonight. Me and a gaggle of former HODers will gangbang your face to let you know it’s us.

  15. 15
    Posted by Guest | December 9, 2010 at 6:13 PM

    exactly. Commodities didn’t kill it and Blythe is pissed!

  16. 16
    Posted by Ideas | December 9, 2010 at 7:11 PM

    Holiday party competition idea: Compete with a coworker as to how many times you can legitimately work “Women are the rake, man, the fuckin’ rake” into as many conversations as possible. Honor system rules. Loser has to walk around all day with an actual rake.

  17. 17
    Posted by Brad963477 | December 9, 2010 at 8:18 PM

    thatsaterribleidea

  18. 18
    Posted by Anonymous | December 9, 2010 at 8:35 PM

    It’s JP we’re talking about here, not Goldman. Closest anyone has to a mistress is a regular reservation with a “masseuse” at West Garden Spa.

  19. 19
    Posted by Guest | December 9, 2010 at 9:44 PM

    you are a moron

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