When you’re applying for a gig on Wall Street these days, you’ve got to do something that will set you apart from the crowd. Jobs are scarce and while anyone can tell a firm why they should be hired, few go the extra mile to show. Armed with this knowledge and the knowledge that competition for positions at Citi is fierce, one recent applicant knew she had to raise the stakes. She didn’t just send Citi a resume and cover letter indicating her interest and qualifications– anyone can do that. She sent them an 11-page presentation entitled “I’m Always Awake With Citi: 9 Reasons Why You SHOULD Hire Me As Your Investment Banking Analyst” filled with headers like “Smart” and lotsa clip art. Perhaps it was the reasons, perhaps it was the fact that she appealed to someone at Citi’s love of its insomniac tagline, but we’re told she’s been asked to come in next week. (We’re also told she created similar presentations for other banks, such as BAML, which has also invited her to stop by next week, and that she has interviews set up with “several” firms. Citi may be her “dream,” but they’re not the only ones who should be offered a piece of this and girlfriend is a hustler.) Job-seekers, take note.
Subject: Citi Investment Banking Analyst Application
I’m here to apply for Investment Banking Analyst position in Citi, my dream job in dream company. I’m graduating business school in Dec 2010, so I can start work in January 2011. My cover letter and resume are attached and I will appreciate it very much if you could do me favor to talk a look or forward them to other hiring managers.
Look forward to hearing from you.
Thanks very much.
Jobs are not at a premium?
“my dream job in dream company”
I bet she says words like that to all the boys. Slore!
Unless it’s 9 inside tips from expert networks, I fail to see the value.
Did she apply at Tullet Prebon?
You’re up early!!
There might not be a giant step that does it, but there’s a giant kick in the butt that does. Next.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
-Former Lehman Risk Manager
Talk a look? Next.
Unless you make a video of your aerial skiing and tennis/martial arts mastery, i don’t think anyone will be impressed.
I bet a Jefferies first year wrote this for her.
Wow you’ve officially changed my life with that.
Amateur.
Banks advertises like that so why shouldn’t she? A clever effort.
-Decent Guy Who Hopes She Gets a Job and Admires Her Effort
You have just abridged her presentation by 1 slide.
note to Analyst-Sweetie– nix the detail oriented page please.
Ghey presentation is ghey.
The clipart looks like the work of the unabomber. If she wants to impress us, she should be rapping on a skateboard
It is a clever effort, but she should have taken the time to have someone go over the presentation before she sent it out. There are way too many awkward sentences.
Oh really???????
-Nicholas Bruce Lee Federer
Impossible is nothing at Citi
$200 in fund raising? A NYC hobo makes more than that outside the Lipstick building in an afternoon.
Welcome to the new Citi templates…
Decent guy: admit that you just want to bone her.
…raised more than $200 donation….
huh?
Looks like someone learned everything she knows about Wall Street from BI slideshows.
“I also excited about participating in different deals….”
ESL?
Citi’s “careers” page has a few typos, too:
“Citi is today´s pre-eminent financial services company and was built to create a highly diversified financial services company that could act as one to deliver solutions to clients throughout the world.”
http://careers.citibank.com/Careers/GlobalCiti.jsp?lang=en
she’ll fit right in.
-VP
I think this presentation was store-bought from Successories©.
Maybe he does, and maybe he does.
hey!
tits and GG:
I agree with GG that she missed some editing efforts. Ah, youth. And, dear tits, as far as “boning her”, as they say in the parlance of our times, I am not a physical natural gas trader from East Texas so I don’t see how you could cast that sweeping assertion upon me.
The Comic Club is more popular than the Rugby Club? WTF is wrong with kids today?
WTF does Eddie Lampert’s shop have to do with this?
Damn – I want to make fun of her, but I’m only a No. 3 tier for CFA Level 1 exam.
She will definitely get this job!
- Guy who listed winning his 4th grade local community science fair on his medical school applications and was rejected from each and every one of them (including the schools in the Caribbean and Hungary)
Hell, I’ve been submitting ‘additional material’ for years. In some respects it does show a little creative effort … but this was a pretty lame attempt.
They probably called her in for the goof-factor.
My apologies.
“9 inside tips”?? Sounds like what happened to Snow White while under the spell.
-Humorous AIG Quant
Maybe I’m too hungover/insufficiently caffeinated but wtf does that sentence mean?
Bess, I think you got the rough draft of the presentation. The version I saw has a last slide that reads:
Desperate:
I clearly have no shame and am willing to do whatever it takes to get this job. And I mean anything.
When I wanted to get started in finance, I wrote letters begging to be part of a team and even offered to work for free to get the opportunity.
-The Oracle of Omaha
Runza, NE
and some brain matter if he’s lucky
We are going to need a picture.
- Hand Bridge Cap HR
I respectfully disagree. The called her in on the off chance she dresses like Debralee.
Hey!!
-Ted Kaczynski
ADX Florence
#04475-046
Some marketing major blonde is well on her way to investment relations?
…and one time at band camp….
I would have tossed the resume over this part alone…then called CFAI.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1694642051
picture to a name.
That answers so many questions. Thank you!
Even if she gets rejected with this atrocious presentation, she’ll be back on her knees in no time.
I ran a successful hedge fund, bench pressed 495 pounds, hit a tennis serve 140 mph, karate chopped 7 bricks, did ballroom dancing, authored a book on the Holocaust and even gave a video interview describing my various achievements. And for all that, I still did not get a job offer. This girl’s got NOTHING compared to me.
–Aleksey Vayner
Amateur.
-Chuck Norris
I will lick peanut butter off of anything. ANYTHING
With all the typos, lack of real information, and general pointlessness of this presentation, you’d have tossed the resume over just the CFA error? I mean, the only reason she would know what tier she was for the Level 2 exam was if she FAILED the level 2 exam. And since she is listing that as an accomplishment, I can see why, she clearly does not know her Ethics or Standards of Practice.
Also, you might give her a shot, remember she used to work simultaneously on three projects in hand. Clearly she can give multiple people happy endings at one time.
Damn Koreans. Always raising the bar for the rest of us.
Am I wrong to assume that English is not her first language? She is probably a slant and should include she offers Happy Endings
resume rejected by citi > CFA > MBA
Donald Trump
Ivanka Turmp
Jamie Dimon?
I like her chutzpah, but she seriously needs an editor. There are a few typos and several grammatical errors like “I also excited” instead of “I’m also excited.” Sentences like “When I’m doing my best to quest for excellence” are cringers. As a future banker, she should invest in hiring a writer to proof her copy.
WUSTL??? LOL
This presentation is not as interesting as the one from that slutty chick from Duke.
ESL
You’re a pig. But I like how you were able to offend both Asians and women in less than a dozen words. At least you’re a more concise writer in your neanderthal-man commentary.
so much for being detail oriented and checking over your work.
“…I will appreciate it very much if you could do me favor to talk a look or forward them to other hiring managers.”
Was the presentation and resume printed on pink scented paper? Next!
The girl appears to be Wenfeng (Sherry) Wang. Here’s her linkedin profile:
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/wenfeng-wang/16/174/796
She apparently also has a blog listing all of the great things she learns in her daily CFA studies…amazing:
http://wenfengwang.blogspot.com/
I bet most of her interviews are for the amusement of the bankers who will interview her….and yes, the typos in her presentation were hilarious.
As a fellow Washington University B. School student sending out applications, I would like to say: Thanks for lowering our reputation even further!
On the bright side, that’s not possible.
Overqualified for Citi.
Isn’t it called University Career Services? weak.
Re: errors from the detial orientation slide: the omitted comma separating two parts of a compound sentence is much more important than the Oxford comma that she did actually use. In addition, “there are no mistakes” would probably be better than “there is no mistake”.
Also, she’s clearly a Chinese spy.
I had sympathy for this “Sherry Wang” till I saw that her favorite book is Black Swan.
Even if I worked at Citi, I wouldn’t hire someone who said it was their dream job to work at Citi.
Umm… aren’t YOU the one assuming there’s a direct correlation between handjobs and Asians?
She’s not even from this country, numbnuts.
I stopped right there: a) grammar is all wrong – grade inflation run amuck? and b) has she been reading the papers, even vik knows this is no “dream company”
Clearly written by some HR hack
What – Grumpy and Happy each went twice?
I have never seen so much effort put forth to get a job with a company, that will lay you off 3 months after hiring. Instead of wasting the past 4 years not making money off of your assets, she should have worked for Emperors Club VIP. She would already be a commodities trader.
You should invest in making me laugh
Ring the FUCKING BELLL!!!!!!!
omg where to begin with this? holy cow!
Thank you so much for posting this Bess.
Also, major CFA violation by saying your a “Tier 1″ level II candidate. That is grounds for expulsion from the program.
This girl is going to have a tough time on the Sentence Correction section of the GMAT – keeping her out of business school AND thus MBA > CFA. The final nail in the coffin.
The second, inferred “bon mot” is the misinterpretation of the number of dwarves asaccentuated by the humorist’s notation of where he/she is employed and in which occupation.
I see no humor in this.
Kim Jong-il
Better still, “there is not a mistake,” indicating mistakes only happen one at a time and are rare.
I think she sees a correlation between happy endings and Asians. Clearly some motive examination is in order…
you’ve missed out on the fertile grounds of St. Louis
TJB: I love you. Nothing get by you ever, do it?
xoxo
I never said she was Asian, I just pointed out that she’s a bad typist. Frankly, I’m deeply concerned about your using political correctness to make a gross generalization about the Asian people. So I think you should really examine your own inherent assumptions and motivations.
Also, I just made the logical extension to being able to work three projects in hand. If she has that skill, it can be applied elsewhere. No neanderthal could have made such a stunning logical leap, thank you very much.
Also, I like how you come across as an easily-offended man-hater who makes large assumptions about intent in three sentences.
This HAS to be fake.
you sound hot. always liked my asians fiesty
The ppt that got me my current job was one bullet point:
I have no morals, no ethics, no conscience and no problem prostituting myself for large sums of money
No clipart either.
this is really going over everyone’s head….. the poor grammar and pp is a contrived tactic to illustrate she is a minority.
-guy who ordered a lot of kamikaze shots during undergrad
Considering she’s already in business school and passing with flying colors, CFA > U of P (Phoenix) undergrad > MBA
you astutely put an ‘e’ between the ‘f’ and ‘r’ (vs. spelling it ‘Jeffries’)… hence you are a Jefferies analyst, perhaps a first year. MGHMOYS.
You are right so let me clarify MBA in top 20. The bottom tier school she attended (unless she sucked the admission director’s dick in the interview) probably didn’t require GMAT – hence why she’s begging for a job that’s worse than being Steve Cohen’s pastry chef.
See, that’s why I like you.
great use of the plural form of “nothing”! if not previously in existence, great invention of the plural form of “nothing”!
Bottom tier? Check the top 20 lists…however note rankings have not been updated for class of 2010. Happy ending interview looking most likely.
Slide 5: Pls enlarge apple logo to demonstrate our ability to cover large-cap tech cos. Have updated draft on my chair by tom.
Thx in adv.
-Citi TMT MD
Also, there is a written portion of CFA Level 3 – which she will NEVER pass
CFA>UofP>publicschoolundergrad
Absolutely brilliant in the most awful of ways.
it’s i wish i were a wall street guy. if you don’t know how to use the subjunctive, you clearly don’t have what it takes
She peed in my coke :(
Or maybe she’s just not cut out for ibanking (let alone middle office) because she can’t craft anything even approximating coherent sentence? Alas, if her resume is to be believed and she has strong quant/programming skills, she’ll probably end up on a structured or credit derivatives desk as a fluffer or something in no time. 740 GMAT and she writes (and didn’t think to have it edited) like she’s FOB? Argh…
That’s not an excuse for being unqualified for the position for which she’s applying. If she wants to do ibanking in the U.S. she should learn English (and the actual meaning of words/phrases like “detail-oriented”), otherwise, go work inAsia.
Thx Tits. xoxo
No kidding.
Erich Hoeneker
President Emeritus
German Democratic Republic
She might consider Ping Jiang Capital if citi doesn’t workout.
You must be an actual AIG quant.
Not even a photo?
isn’t that redundant?
Wait, doesn’t she need to have a small cock?
Ugh, Ph.D. > MBA.
Why did she do this for Citi?
It helps, but willingness to accept dry erase markers in any orifice will get you a 2nd
She’s not in business school (MBA), she’s an undergrad. MBAs do not apply for analyst positions.
wow, you’re a dumba$$
pmco = Yoda now?
besides slides 1-9, thought it was pretty good.
I thought that was the point of the vaguely “Asian” bamboo motif on the slide deck.
sorry no macs allowed in Citi infrastructure. FAIL
Ya that’s what I thought but after Chrono’s comment I saw she said – “I’m graduating business school in Dec 2010, so I can start work in January 2011″.
When I was in undergrad I never said I was in “business school” – then again this girl is applying for Citibank – so who knows.
that was obvious… your point?
Pluralizer & Huh: at the risk of pointing out the bleeding bloody obvious, it was a deliberate grammar joke. I love to showcase my written and oral skills.
No but that’s an excellent suggestion, Perma. Would you recommend I go with a headshot that shows off my double-jointed jaw or should I go with a waist up and show off the twins too?
GD I was thinking the same thing. The only way you get a Tier is if you fail and Tier 1 would mean you are the bottom 10 percentile of all people that failed….
The whole reason the CFAI does not provide grades if you pass is to avoid statements like the one she is making! Certainly not DE Shaw material…
Perhaps by dream company she meant the federal government because technically…
Wait, what about the ass?
Waist up, standing in front of a mirror, of course.
I was thinking on all fours, mouth open. Is the mirror idea better?
Gal who loves Tits, Perma & EOPD for always being so helpful
Btw EOPD spell checker suggested “wood” when I typed EOPD. How cool is that?
I also very good at happy ending
Uncle Vik needs to hire this girl along with my man Luis Caselles Peréz. I mean, come on, one doesn’t need to be an AIG quant to realize the synergy.
Mac Genius + Peréz’s good website skills = instant alpha
Actually, more literally correct is: IWishIWouldHaveBeenAWallStreetGuy but that’s a bit tedious. Even more literally correct is IWishIWouldHaveBeenASuccessfulWallStreetGuySoICouldRetireEarly but that’s getting down-right ridiculous.
BTW: Judging from the research reports I’ve read, exceptional English skills do not seem to be a prerequisite so I question the accuracy of your statement.
Someone posted her facebook profile, but it got removed. She has an open wall, so you can see all her statuses, here are some highlights:
“How to learn American slangs?”
“Two words to describe WashU Commencement–Honor and dream”
“CFA bless! Project bless! Summer intern bless!”
“Counting down for Skype IPO”
“I really need a firm to spread my knowledge… Or I will be explosive”
I’ve been telling people for years that the Irish Curse is a myth.
Ari Gold to Bob Ryan:
“What if I told you I had a 22 inch cock, is that something you’d be interested in?”
maths > engrish
So your determination of “qualifications” for “ibanking” is that they properly conjugate their verbs in their second language?
You’re an idiot.
When correcting somebody’s grammar, probably best to spell “amok” correctly.
It’s become a popular thing with undergrads majoring in business to throw around the “I’m in business school…” line these days to make themselves feel important.
do you often get lose and loose confused too? seriously, do your homework…you’re embarrassing your mom.
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/amuck
Or: since investment banking eventually includes tasks such as drafting/editing/etc ppts and other documents in English, it’d be helpful if she knew how to communicate properly in this language. Additionally, as “attention to detail” is generally a trait required of investment bankers, it’s pretty embarrassing that while she brags about being so good at it, the material she supported clearly shows otherwise.
Seriously, she’s “detail-oriented”and “good at finding mistakes” and she writes, “TALK A LOOK?”. This article is a joke, right?!
pmco, how about on all fours, mouth open, mirror behind?
Hard to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that when her presentation is full of contradictions and errors. I wouldn’t equate a business major with business school, and she also already graduated from undergrad in China (pre-req for CFA).
where are the typos?
Perma: Brilliant idea. One last question, what should I wear?
I don’t think Washington University uses a GPA scale in its MBA program
We admire her tenacity and initiative and would be interested in having her interview for our boutique IB. If the author of the 11-page presentation entitled “I’m Always Awake With Citi: 9 Reasons Why You SHOULD Hire Me As Your Investment Banking Analyst” is reading this, please call: 212.398.8458.
Has anyone made the “She should have included a slide that says ‘me love you long time;”. I apologize if I am late to the party, but just wanted to throw that out there – seems like it could really add value to her presentation.
Pmco, that would depend upon your target company now wouldn’t it?
snaps commentariat, excellent work today – i laughed and then cried
off to west garden
I arso excited about rearning how to use rinking velbs
I’m sure I could totally go to China, butcher their language and say “but but but, it’s my second language, what’s the problem?
I predict her Tier 1 suctioning skills will be tested.
Uh, no offence — but even the prodigious issue of this nation’s allegedly best colleges today can’t write in complete sentences. It’s the back office guys who can outspell them all.
her Hail Mary Pass = Nice rack and a “winning smile”
- A guy who weeps at our current state of affairs.
Anyone know her name. I go to WUSTL and want to make fun of her.
All this risue talk leads me to believe pmco is a gay man posing as a man.
If she wanted to send this to JPM, she should change the font to Trebuchet MS
You were the first one to mention “talk a look” — congrats. I’d be happy to talk a look at your resume.
Why don’t you focus your time more effectively and figure out how it’s possible you are going to get a job out of WUSTL.
All these idiots who can’t speak or write english even close to correctly. These foreign shits make it easy to be the best in your class at really any bank these days.
UBS will hire her to join the Automotive IPO team
This can’t be real.
Ankles behind your ears lets people know that you’re open and approachable.
This is most certainly real. There’s an email thread spreading to alums like wildfire. It has her resume and presentation attached.
Looks like it made it to a few of the analyst distribution lists
Luckily I got one before this came out.
I believe, in these forums, the follow up question might be:
And what exactly was the paper scented with?
^ guy who didn’t get accepted to WUSTL
I was hung up on her grammer until I realized that she is probably Chinese with English as a Second Language, and has the same problem most foreigners who learned English in their home country’s schools. The article and most of the identifying words such as “mine”, “that”, etc. are not used in Oriental languages as they are part of the word, and English classes in their home country don’t usually stress them. She is energetic, smart, has multi-language skills, and, probably, a host of contacts in China…hire her, and pair her with an English Major to edit her work.
First of all, you were clearly being racist. Second of all, she’s probably way to busy studying violin to give out handjobs.
Crap. I meant “too busy” for all you grammar Nazis. Goodbye credability, hello assumptions that all proofreaders are members of the National Socialist German Workers Party. Poland’s about to get even more boring.
so you need 2 people to do the job? efficient.
And you sound like you’re just an a$$. You can’t even come up with a clever retort or at least an interesting self descriptive screen name like Poopneck Trader above.
English apparently isn’t her first language. So I’m cutting her some slack.
Then hopefully u r bilingual and have a GPA that’s at least comparable. Try not to humiliate yourself~~~haha good luck ;)
That’s why you do NOT get into Citi ;)
u know what? If the grammar mistake is from the presentation, that’s her fault for sure. If it’s from the e-mail, it’s highly possible that it’s from the journalist who wrote that parapragh without doublechecking. U people r so boring. So after reading such an article about how to successfully get attention from IB, the only thing u get is to make fun of this girl’s english? That’s why unemloyment rate in america is that high but banks still give her, an international student, an interview. Pathetic!
She’s from China, hence a GPA from the Beijing Language and Culture University, where she presumably aced her English exams. Her nationality would explain this “creative”, very Chinesey attempt to differentiate herself. Maybe she would have gotten interviews with Goldman and Morgan Stanley if she mentioned CCP bigwig parents.
Sigh this is making my school look so bad…. they are accepting people who can’t write english….
how many of you jack offs can write a 95% grammatically accurate presentation in Mandarin?
let’s make this clear. wustl > every other school. this woman got in for one reason only, because she is chinese
this shit is riddled with spelling and grammatical errors, and she claims that she is a good writer and double checks her work before submission? you gotta be shitting me.
As another WUSTL student, I would rather you not associate your tired and senseless bigotry with my diploma. It’s worse than the OP. Thanks.
Incidentally, YEAH, all the affirmative action east Asian students get in higher education, right?!
The English is simply bad. But is that young lady from China? The sentences don’t seem to be so Chinese. I have been in China for several years and all this does not seem very Chinese. It reminds me rather of a different nation in Asia. Also, she seems to be not at all modest. I guess it is a hoax.
Hear that? It’s the sound of EMPLOYED analysts all over NYC laughing uncontrollably as they forward this joke to everyone they know. Don’t waste time creating multi-page documents full of fluff to get a job. No one will take you seriously. This kind of crap goes straight into everyone recycling bin. And if you want a job in the USA, don’t butcher the language.
and yet hundreds of people are applauding this effort. Goes to show the kind of morons working in the financial sector of this country. These people create nothing. Loan officers and stockbrokers are some of the dullest, dumbest fucking people you’ll ever meet.
She deserve to be selected
Atleast she has taken some initiative
Dear applicant,
If you have studied the principles of personal development that include weight-lifting, brick breaking, aprés-skiing, tennis volley and last but not least, salsa dancing, please do not hesitate to contact us.
-UBS HR
Her grammer is shocking. Also, she should know that you cannot imply you are "Tier 1" or tier anything as a CFA student or charterholder. That's covered in the ethics section of Level I. So I'd check her qualifications carefully.
Her grammer, or her grammar? Pot, kettle.
grammer grammar, it's still atrocious… and he's right about the CFA usage.
This was leaked by a Citi HR representative? That is truly outrageous. The kid is just trying to find a job in a tough industry and environment… their initiative should be welcomed. At the very least not leaked and globally mocked.
I try and pretend to myself that this industry actually has some OK people in its midst. But no, they're mostly all robotic scum. Geckko was a generous simulacrum for the real core.
Geckko would have been an admin assistant in my office . .
The communicative slide just kills me
"I also have great writing skills and have earned many composition prizes."
I just snorted and laughed out loud in McDonalds and everybody looked at me like wtf
I have a job that's perfect for you. I need someone to locate misplaced funds as I'm having a tough time with the regulators. When can you start?
"grammar". Thanks.
As much fun as it is for you posters to identify a person that you perceive as dumber than you, has anyone considered that this person might be Chinese and English is their second language ?
Has anyone ever considered that this is America and you should speak American if you're applying to American jobs? Just an idea.
You mean like "Howdy" and "Kawfee"? Give the person a break…not everyone graduated Magnum Gun Lauda….
Yes most people here have. We decided that rather than speak "American" we'll opt to use this funny language called English.
PS If you're going to be an asshole, try not to appear like an idiot as well.
Dear Applicant –
Just reread your powerpoints . . . realized you only raised $200 at your charity event. Please don't come in next Monday.
-Citi HR
Definitely considered. There was a whiff of Engrish clinging to the whole thing.
PS If you're going to be judging other people posts while trying to sound witty, at least come up with a good line. You appeared as an asshole, an idiot and a douche bag yourself. You one upped the previous poster, nice job!
The kid who wrote this shows far too much initiative and originality to be a good IB analyst.
Also Washington University is not a "target school." Kid will probably never even get an auto-reply.
"talk a look"? seriously? and what about the parallelism we've all learned so hard for SAT?
She's obviously not a native English speaker. Her grammatical mistakes are very typical of people who speak Chinese as a first language. Imagine trying to write coherently in a language with completely different grammatical structures! While it's no excuse for writing badly, especially if you want a job in America -she shouldn't be made fun of!
What happened to making fun of people on this site without having to worry about being reprimanded by a person with a conscience? The person who put this presentation together is obviously Linsane
laugh all u want but can any of u speak a Chinese language? not his/her first language, and it shows but she'll have the last laugh someday…. ppl with that kinda drive get to places and they will improve their english as well..
HR opinions don't matter.
"u"? "ppl"? You fail, too.
"I always double check my work in order to guarantee there is no mistake."
ha ha ha.
-Hard Working Immigrant
you will like hermes replica online shopping
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huh, how did she get a hold of a photo of a Chinese multi-tasker ??
Just saying..
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