When you’re applying for a gig on Wall Street these days, you’ve got to do something that will set you apart from the crowd. Jobs are scarce and while anyone can tell a firm why they should be hired, few go the extra mile to show. Armed with this knowledge and the knowledge that competition for positions at Citi is fierce, one recent applicant knew she had to raise the stakes. She didn’t just send Citi a resume and cover letter indicating her interest and qualifications– anyone can do that. She sent them an 11-page presentation entitled “I’m Always Awake With Citi: 9 Reasons Why You SHOULD Hire Me As Your Investment Banking Analyst” filled with headers like “Smart” and lotsa clip art. Perhaps it was the reasons, perhaps it was the fact that she appealed to someone at Citi’s love of its insomniac tagline, but we’re told she’s been asked to come in next week. (We’re also told she created similar presentations for other banks, such as BAML, which has also invited her to stop by next week, and that she has interviews set up with “several” firms. Citi may be her “dream,” but they’re not the only ones who should be offered a piece of this and girlfriend is a hustler.) Job-seekers, take note.

Subject: Citi Investment Banking Analyst Application

I’m here to apply for Investment Banking Analyst position in Citi, my dream job in dream company. I’m graduating business school in Dec 2010, so I can start work in January 2011. My cover letter and resume are attached and I will appreciate it very much if you could do me favor to talk a look or forward them to other hiring managers.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Thanks very much.

Citi Cover Letter Presentation [PDF]

Sign up for the Dealbreaker newsletter

Subscribe to our free daily email and get breaking news, financial headlines, commentary, and analysis from Dealbreaker.

— Advertisement —

Comments (269)

  1. Posted by Moe | December 1, 2010 at 12:55 PM

    Jobs are not at a premium?

  2. Posted by tits | December 1, 2010 at 12:57 PM

    “my dream job in dream company”

    I bet she says words like that to all the boys. Slore!

  3. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 1:01 PM

    Unless it’s 9 inside tips from expert networks, I fail to see the value.

  4. Posted by Guy Waiting for the Trainwreck | December 1, 2010 at 1:02 PM

    Did she apply at Tullet Prebon?

  5. Posted by Early Bird Worm Handler | December 1, 2010 at 1:04 PM

    You’re up early!!

  6. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 1:05 PM

    There might not be a giant step that does it, but there’s a giant kick in the butt that does. Next.

  7. Posted by FLRM | December 1, 2010 at 1:06 PM

    The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

    -Former Lehman Risk Manager

  8. Posted by Shawn13 | December 1, 2010 at 1:06 PM

    Talk a look? Next.

  9. Posted by TheSameGuest | December 1, 2010 at 1:07 PM

    Unless you make a video of your aerial skiing and tennis/martial arts mastery, i don’t think anyone will be impressed.

  10. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 1:09 PM

    I bet a Jefferies first year wrote this for her.

  11. Posted by TheSameGuest | December 1, 2010 at 1:10 PM

    Wow you’ve officially changed my life with that.

  12. Posted by Aleksey Vayner | December 1, 2010 at 1:12 PM

    Amateur.

  13. Posted by Decent Guy | December 1, 2010 at 1:12 PM

    Banks advertises like that so why shouldn’t she? A clever effort.

    -Decent Guy Who Hopes She Gets a Job and Admires Her Effort

  14. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 1:14 PM

    You have just abridged her presentation by 1 slide.

    note to Analyst-Sweetie– nix the detail oriented page please.

  15. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 1:16 PM

    Ghey presentation is ghey.

  16. Posted by anti DB | December 1, 2010 at 1:16 PM

    The clipart looks like the work of the unabomber. If she wants to impress us, she should be rapping on a skateboard

  17. Posted by GG | December 1, 2010 at 1:17 PM

    It is a clever effort, but she should have taken the time to have someone go over the presentation before she sent it out. There are way too many awkward sentences.

  18. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 1:17 PM

    Oh really???????

    -Nicholas Bruce Lee Federer

  19. Posted by tits | December 1, 2010 at 1:19 PM

    Impossible is nothing at Citi

  20. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 1:19 PM

    $200 in fund raising? A NYC hobo makes more than that outside the Lipstick building in an afternoon.

  21. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 1:20 PM

    Welcome to the new Citi templates…

  22. Posted by tits | December 1, 2010 at 1:20 PM

    Decent guy: admit that you just want to bone her.

  23. Posted by NakedShort | December 1, 2010 at 1:22 PM

    …raised more than $200 donation….

    huh?

  24. Posted by Supraman | December 1, 2010 at 1:23 PM

    Looks like someone learned everything she knows about Wall Street from BI slideshows.

  25. Posted by Supraman | December 1, 2010 at 1:29 PM

    “I also excited about participating in different deals….”

  26. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 1:30 PM

    ESL?

  27. Posted by Naughty Hawk | December 1, 2010 at 1:31 PM

    Citi’s “careers” page has a few typos, too:

    “Citi is today&acutes pre-eminent financial services company and was built to create a highly diversified financial services company that could act as one to deliver solutions to clients throughout the world.”

    http://careers.citibank.com/Careers/GlobalCiti.jsp?lang=en

  28. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 1:35 PM

    she’ll fit right in.

    -VP

  29. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 1:35 PM

    I think this presentation was store-bought from Successories©.

  30. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 1:35 PM

    Maybe he does, and maybe he does.

  31. Posted by Hank_Blodget | December 1, 2010 at 1:39 PM

    hey!

  32. Posted by Decent Guy | December 1, 2010 at 1:40 PM

    tits and GG:

    I agree with GG that she missed some editing efforts. Ah, youth. And, dear tits, as far as “boning her”, as they say in the parlance of our times, I am not a physical natural gas trader from East Texas so I don’t see how you could cast that sweeping assertion upon me.

  33. Posted by Tommy Callahan Jr. | December 1, 2010 at 1:41 PM

    The Comic Club is more popular than the Rugby Club? WTF is wrong with kids today?

  34. Posted by NakedShort | December 1, 2010 at 1:41 PM

    WTF does Eddie Lampert’s shop have to do with this?

  35. Posted by CoveredLong | December 1, 2010 at 1:45 PM

    Damn – I want to make fun of her, but I’m only a No. 3 tier for CFA Level 1 exam.

  36. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 1:48 PM

    She will definitely get this job!

    - Guy who listed winning his 4th grade local community science fair on his medical school applications and was rejected from each and every one of them (including the schools in the Caribbean and Hungary)

  37. Posted by StillNoCouch | December 1, 2010 at 1:48 PM

    Hell, I’ve been submitting ‘additional material’ for years. In some respects it does show a little creative effort … but this was a pretty lame attempt.

    They probably called her in for the goof-factor.

  38. Posted by tits | December 1, 2010 at 1:49 PM

    My apologies.

  39. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 1:51 PM

    “9 inside tips”?? Sounds like what happened to Snow White while under the spell.

    -Humorous AIG Quant

  40. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 1:52 PM

    Maybe I’m too hungover/insufficiently caffeinated but wtf does that sentence mean?

  41. Posted by Citi HR | December 1, 2010 at 1:54 PM

    Bess, I think you got the rough draft of the presentation. The version I saw has a last slide that reads:

    Desperate:

    I clearly have no shame and am willing to do whatever it takes to get this job. And I mean anything.

  42. Posted by Oracle | December 1, 2010 at 1:55 PM

    When I wanted to get started in finance, I wrote letters begging to be part of a team and even offered to work for free to get the opportunity.

    -The Oracle of Omaha
    Runza, NE

  43. Posted by Vulture Fund Subhuman | December 1, 2010 at 1:56 PM

    and some brain matter if he’s lucky

  44. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 1:59 PM

    We are going to need a picture.

    - Hand Bridge Cap HR

  45. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 2:02 PM

    I respectfully disagree. The called her in on the off chance she dresses like Debralee.

  46. Posted by Ted | December 1, 2010 at 2:06 PM

    Hey!!

    -Ted Kaczynski
    ADX Florence
    #04475-046

  47. Posted by StuckInOhio | December 1, 2010 at 2:08 PM

    Some marketing major blonde is well on her way to investment relations?

  48. Posted by guestssss | December 1, 2010 at 2:11 PM

    …and one time at band camp….

  49. Posted by Pier0188 | December 1, 2010 at 2:12 PM

    I would have tossed the resume over this part alone…then called CFAI.

  50. Posted by dynamite goes boom | December 1, 2010 at 2:12 PM
  51. Posted by NakedShort | December 1, 2010 at 2:17 PM

    That answers so many questions. Thank you!

  52. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 2:18 PM

    Even if she gets rejected with this atrocious presentation, she’ll be back on her knees in no time.

  53. Posted by Impossible is Nothing | December 1, 2010 at 2:19 PM

    I ran a successful hedge fund, bench pressed 495 pounds, hit a tennis serve 140 mph, karate chopped 7 bricks, did ballroom dancing, authored a book on the Holocaust and even gave a video interview describing my various achievements. And for all that, I still did not get a job offer. This girl’s got NOTHING compared to me.

    –Aleksey Vayner

  54. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 2:22 PM

    Amateur.

    -Chuck Norris

  55. Posted by StuckInOhio | December 1, 2010 at 2:25 PM

    I will lick peanut butter off of anything. ANYTHING

  56. Posted by General Disarray | December 1, 2010 at 2:26 PM

    With all the typos, lack of real information, and general pointlessness of this presentation, you’d have tossed the resume over just the CFA error? I mean, the only reason she would know what tier she was for the Level 2 exam was if she FAILED the level 2 exam. And since she is listing that as an accomplishment, I can see why, she clearly does not know her Ethics or Standards of Practice.

    Also, you might give her a shot, remember she used to work simultaneously on three projects in hand. Clearly she can give multiple people happy endings at one time.

  57. Posted by CFA1 | December 1, 2010 at 2:32 PM

    Damn Koreans. Always raising the bar for the rest of us.

  58. Posted by Jrgoldie | December 1, 2010 at 2:34 PM

    Am I wrong to assume that English is not her first language? She is probably a slant and should include she offers Happy Endings

  59. Posted by Columbia MBA | December 1, 2010 at 2:35 PM

    resume rejected by citi > CFA > MBA

  60. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 2:37 PM

    Donald Trump
    Ivanka Turmp
    Jamie Dimon?

  61. Posted by Yogagirl | December 1, 2010 at 2:43 PM

    I like her chutzpah, but she seriously needs an editor. There are a few typos and several grammatical errors like “I also excited” instead of “I’m also excited.” Sentences like “When I’m doing my best to quest for excellence” are cringers. As a future banker, she should invest in hiring a writer to proof her copy.

  62. Posted by WUSTLSUCKS | December 1, 2010 at 2:44 PM

    WUSTL??? LOL

  63. Posted by IWishIWasAWallStreetGuy | December 1, 2010 at 2:45 PM

    This presentation is not as interesting as the one from that slutty chick from Duke.

  64. Posted by langspt@hotmail.com | December 1, 2010 at 2:49 PM

    ESL

  65. Posted by Yogagirl | December 1, 2010 at 2:49 PM

    You’re a pig. But I like how you were able to offend both Asians and women in less than a dozen words. At least you’re a more concise writer in your neanderthal-man commentary.

  66. Posted by Bruce | December 1, 2010 at 2:53 PM

    so much for being detail oriented and checking over your work.

    “…I will appreciate it very much if you could do me favor to talk a look or forward them to other hiring managers.”

  67. Posted by Legally Blonde | December 1, 2010 at 2:59 PM

    Was the presentation and resume printed on pink scented paper? Next!

  68. Posted by Jej78350 | December 1, 2010 at 3:04 PM

    The girl appears to be Wenfeng (Sherry) Wang. Here’s her linkedin profile:

    http://www.linkedin.com/pub/wenfeng-wang/16/174/796

    She apparently also has a blog listing all of the great things she learns in her daily CFA studies…amazing:

    http://wenfengwang.blogspot.com/

    I bet most of her interviews are for the amusement of the bankers who will interview her….and yes, the typos in her presentation were hilarious.

  69. Posted by ...fuck | December 1, 2010 at 3:08 PM

    As a fellow Washington University B. School student sending out applications, I would like to say: Thanks for lowering our reputation even further!

  70. Posted by Mr. Brightside | December 1, 2010 at 3:15 PM

    On the bright side, that’s not possible.

  71. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 3:15 PM

    Overqualified for Citi.

  72. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 3:22 PM

    Isn’t it called University Career Services? weak.

  73. Posted by Texashedge | December 1, 2010 at 3:24 PM

    Re: errors from the detial orientation slide: the omitted comma separating two parts of a compound sentence is much more important than the Oxford comma that she did actually use. In addition, “there are no mistakes” would probably be better than “there is no mistake”.

    Also, she’s clearly a Chinese spy.

  74. Posted by Texashedge | December 1, 2010 at 3:31 PM

    I had sympathy for this “Sherry Wang” till I saw that her favorite book is Black Swan.

  75. Posted by Anon | December 1, 2010 at 3:45 PM

    Even if I worked at Citi, I wouldn’t hire someone who said it was their dream job to work at Citi.

  76. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 3:49 PM

    Umm… aren’t YOU the one assuming there’s a direct correlation between handjobs and Asians?

  77. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | December 1, 2010 at 3:51 PM

    She’s not even from this country, numbnuts.

  78. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 3:55 PM

    I stopped right there: a) grammar is all wrong – grade inflation run amuck? and b) has she been reading the papers, even vik knows this is no “dream company”

  79. Posted by Anal_yst | December 1, 2010 at 3:57 PM

    Clearly written by some HR hack

  80. Posted by Prince Harming | December 1, 2010 at 3:59 PM

    What – Grumpy and Happy each went twice?

  81. Posted by Rho2Gamma | December 1, 2010 at 4:15 PM

    I have never seen so much effort put forth to get a job with a company, that will lay you off 3 months after hiring. Instead of wasting the past 4 years not making money off of your assets, she should have worked for Emperors Club VIP. She would already be a commodities trader.

  82. Posted by Asiangirls > yogagirls | December 1, 2010 at 4:17 PM

    You should invest in making me laugh

  83. Posted by As | December 1, 2010 at 4:22 PM

    Ring the FUCKING BELLL!!!!!!!

  84. Posted by Joebags | December 1, 2010 at 4:26 PM

    omg where to begin with this? holy cow!

  85. Posted by Frank_White | December 1, 2010 at 4:34 PM

    Thank you so much for posting this Bess.

    Also, major CFA violation by saying your a “Tier 1″ level II candidate. That is grounds for expulsion from the program.

  86. Posted by CurrencyTrader | December 1, 2010 at 4:40 PM

    This girl is going to have a tough time on the Sentence Correction section of the GMAT – keeping her out of business school AND thus MBA > CFA. The final nail in the coffin.

  87. Posted by The Joke Briefer | December 1, 2010 at 4:44 PM

    The second, inferred “bon mot” is the misinterpretation of the number of dwarves asaccentuated by the humorist’s notation of where he/she is employed and in which occupation.

  88. Posted by MooseFister | December 1, 2010 at 4:44 PM

    I see no humor in this.

    Kim Jong-il

  89. Posted by CaptainSlow | December 1, 2010 at 4:46 PM

    Better still, “there is not a mistake,” indicating mistakes only happen one at a time and are rare.

  90. Posted by CheckurMotives | December 1, 2010 at 4:53 PM

    I think she sees a correlation between happy endings and Asians. Clearly some motive examination is in order…

  91. Posted by trojan | December 1, 2010 at 4:54 PM

    you’ve missed out on the fertile grounds of St. Louis

  92. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 4:56 PM

    TJB: I love you. Nothing get by you ever, do it?

    xoxo

  93. Posted by General Disarray | December 1, 2010 at 4:59 PM

    I never said she was Asian, I just pointed out that she’s a bad typist. Frankly, I’m deeply concerned about your using political correctness to make a gross generalization about the Asian people. So I think you should really examine your own inherent assumptions and motivations.

    Also, I just made the logical extension to being able to work three projects in hand. If she has that skill, it can be applied elsewhere. No neanderthal could have made such a stunning logical leap, thank you very much.

    Also, I like how you come across as an easily-offended man-hater who makes large assumptions about intent in three sentences.

  94. Posted by Jason STATHAM. | December 1, 2010 at 5:02 PM

    This HAS to be fake.

  95. Posted by Poopneck Trader | December 1, 2010 at 5:15 PM

    you sound hot. always liked my asians fiesty

  96. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 5:15 PM

    The ppt that got me my current job was one bullet point:

    I have no morals, no ethics, no conscience and no problem prostituting myself for large sums of money

    No clipart either.

  97. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 5:20 PM

    this is really going over everyone’s head….. the poor grammar and pp is a contrived tactic to illustrate she is a minority.

    -guy who ordered a lot of kamikaze shots during undergrad

  98. Posted by Chronology Expert | December 1, 2010 at 5:29 PM

    Considering she’s already in business school and passing with flying colors, CFA > U of P (Phoenix) undergrad > MBA

  99. Posted by irish.curse | December 1, 2010 at 5:31 PM

    you astutely put an ‘e’ between the ‘f’ and ‘r’ (vs. spelling it ‘Jeffries’)… hence you are a Jefferies analyst, perhaps a first year. MGHMOYS.

  100. Posted by CurrencyTrader | December 1, 2010 at 5:39 PM

    You are right so let me clarify MBA in top 20. The bottom tier school she attended (unless she sucked the admission director’s dick in the interview) probably didn’t require GMAT – hence why she’s begging for a job that’s worse than being Steve Cohen’s pastry chef.

  101. Posted by tits | December 1, 2010 at 5:46 PM

    See, that’s why I like you.

  102. Posted by Pluralizer | December 1, 2010 at 5:56 PM

    great use of the plural form of “nothing”! if not previously in existence, great invention of the plural form of “nothing”!

  103. Posted by Chronology Expert | December 1, 2010 at 5:57 PM

    Bottom tier? Check the top 20 lists…however note rankings have not been updated for class of 2010. Happy ending interview looking most likely.

  104. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 5:59 PM

    Slide 5: Pls enlarge apple logo to demonstrate our ability to cover large-cap tech cos. Have updated draft on my chair by tom.

    Thx in adv.

    -Citi TMT MD

  105. Posted by Snob | December 1, 2010 at 6:01 PM

    Also, there is a written portion of CFA Level 3 – which she will NEVER pass

    CFA>UofP>publicschoolundergrad

  106. Posted by Citi HR | December 1, 2010 at 6:05 PM

    Absolutely brilliant in the most awful of ways.

  107. Posted by Dick Fuld | December 1, 2010 at 6:08 PM

    it’s i wish i were a wall street guy. if you don’t know how to use the subjunctive, you clearly don’t have what it takes

  108. Posted by Chinee | December 1, 2010 at 6:09 PM

    She peed in my coke :(

  109. Posted by Anal_yst | December 1, 2010 at 6:09 PM

    Or maybe she’s just not cut out for ibanking (let alone middle office) because she can’t craft anything even approximating coherent sentence? Alas, if her resume is to be believed and she has strong quant/programming skills, she’ll probably end up on a structured or credit derivatives desk as a fluffer or something in no time. 740 GMAT and she writes (and didn’t think to have it edited) like she’s FOB? Argh…

  110. Posted by Anal_yst | December 1, 2010 at 6:11 PM

    That’s not an excuse for being unqualified for the position for which she’s applying. If she wants to do ibanking in the U.S. she should learn English (and the actual meaning of words/phrases like “detail-oriented”), otherwise, go work inAsia.

  111. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 6:15 PM

    Thx Tits. xoxo

  112. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 6:25 PM

    No kidding.

    Erich Hoeneker
    President Emeritus
    German Democratic Republic

  113. Posted by PJCap | December 1, 2010 at 6:26 PM

    She might consider Ping Jiang Capital if citi doesn’t workout.

  114. Posted by I say tomato, you say Cassano | December 1, 2010 at 6:27 PM

    You must be an actual AIG quant.

  115. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 6:27 PM

    Not even a photo?

  116. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 6:40 PM

    isn’t that redundant?

  117. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 6:41 PM

    Wait, doesn’t she need to have a small cock?

  118. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 6:44 PM

    Ugh, Ph.D. > MBA.

  119. Posted by Jim | December 1, 2010 at 6:49 PM

    Why did she do this for Citi?

  120. Posted by PJCap | December 1, 2010 at 6:50 PM

    It helps, but willingness to accept dry erase markers in any orifice will get you a 2nd

  121. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 6:54 PM

    She’s not in business school (MBA), she’s an undergrad. MBAs do not apply for analyst positions.

  122. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 6:57 PM

    wow, you’re a dumba$$

  123. Posted by Huh | December 1, 2010 at 7:11 PM

    pmco = Yoda now?

  124. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 7:24 PM

    besides slides 1-9, thought it was pretty good.

  125. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 7:36 PM

    I thought that was the point of the vaguely “Asian” bamboo motif on the slide deck.

  126. Posted by LeeKing | December 1, 2010 at 7:38 PM

    sorry no macs allowed in Citi infrastructure. FAIL

  127. Posted by CurrencyTrader | December 1, 2010 at 7:42 PM

    Ya that’s what I thought but after Chrono’s comment I saw she said – “I’m graduating business school in Dec 2010, so I can start work in January 2011″.

    When I was in undergrad I never said I was in “business school” – then again this girl is applying for Citibank – so who knows.

  128. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 7:45 PM

    that was obvious… your point?

  129. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 7:46 PM

    Pluralizer & Huh: at the risk of pointing out the bleeding bloody obvious, it was a deliberate grammar joke. I love to showcase my written and oral skills.

  130. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 7:52 PM

    No but that’s an excellent suggestion, Perma. Would you recommend I go with a headshot that shows off my double-jointed jaw or should I go with a waist up and show off the twins too?

  131. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 7:58 PM

    GD I was thinking the same thing. The only way you get a Tier is if you fail and Tier 1 would mean you are the bottom 10 percentile of all people that failed….

    The whole reason the CFAI does not provide grades if you pass is to avoid statements like the one she is making! Certainly not DE Shaw material…

  132. Posted by Head of HR | December 1, 2010 at 8:05 PM

    Perhaps by dream company she meant the federal government because technically…

  133. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | December 1, 2010 at 8:08 PM

    Wait, what about the ass?

  134. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 8:19 PM

    Waist up, standing in front of a mirror, of course.

  135. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 8:24 PM

    I was thinking on all fours, mouth open. Is the mirror idea better?

    Gal who loves Tits, Perma & EOPD for always being so helpful

    Btw EOPD spell checker suggested “wood” when I typed EOPD. How cool is that?

  136. Posted by Wusarah2009 | December 1, 2010 at 8:25 PM

    I also very good at happy ending

  137. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 8:29 PM

    Uncle Vik needs to hire this girl along with my man Luis Caselles Peréz. I mean, come on, one doesn’t need to be an AIG quant to realize the synergy.

    Mac Genius + Peréz’s good website skills = instant alpha

  138. Posted by IWishIWasAWallStreetGuy | December 1, 2010 at 8:34 PM

    Actually, more literally correct is: IWishIWouldHaveBeenAWallStreetGuy but that’s a bit tedious. Even more literally correct is IWishIWouldHaveBeenASuccessfulWallStreetGuySoICouldRetireEarly but that’s getting down-right ridiculous.

    BTW: Judging from the research reports I’ve read, exceptional English skills do not seem to be a prerequisite so I question the accuracy of your statement.

  139. Posted by Nouveau Richie | December 1, 2010 at 8:50 PM

    Someone posted her facebook profile, but it got removed. She has an open wall, so you can see all her statuses, here are some highlights:

    “How to learn American slangs?”

    “Two words to describe WashU Commencement–Honor and dream”

    “CFA bless! Project bless! Summer intern bless!”

    “Counting down for Skype IPO”

    “I really need a firm to spread my knowledge… Or I will be explosive”

  140. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | December 1, 2010 at 8:55 PM

    I’ve been telling people for years that the Irish Curse is a myth.

  141. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 9:01 PM

    Ari Gold to Bob Ryan:

    “What if I told you I had a 22 inch cock, is that something you’d be interested in?”

  142. Posted by Rurur | December 1, 2010 at 9:03 PM

    maths > engrish

  143. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | December 1, 2010 at 9:08 PM

    So your determination of “qualifications” for “ibanking” is that they properly conjugate their verbs in their second language?

    You’re an idiot.

  144. Posted by Anon | December 1, 2010 at 9:12 PM

    When correcting somebody’s grammar, probably best to spell “amok” correctly.

  145. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 9:14 PM

    It’s become a popular thing with undergrads majoring in business to throw around the “I’m in business school…” line these days to make themselves feel important.

  146. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 9:20 PM

    do you often get lose and loose confused too? seriously, do your homework…you’re embarrassing your mom.

    http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/amuck

  147. Posted by Anal_yst | December 1, 2010 at 9:24 PM

    Or: since investment banking eventually includes tasks such as drafting/editing/etc ppts and other documents in English, it’d be helpful if she knew how to communicate properly in this language. Additionally, as “attention to detail” is generally a trait required of investment bankers, it’s pretty embarrassing that while she brags about being so good at it, the material she supported clearly shows otherwise.

  148. Posted by flabbergasted | December 1, 2010 at 9:28 PM

    Seriously, she’s “detail-oriented”and “good at finding mistakes” and she writes, “TALK A LOOK?”. This article is a joke, right?!

  149. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 9:35 PM

    pmco, how about on all fours, mouth open, mirror behind?

  150. Posted by Chronology Expert | December 1, 2010 at 9:53 PM

    Hard to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that when her presentation is full of contradictions and errors. I wouldn’t equate a business major with business school, and she also already graduated from undergrad in China (pre-req for CFA).

  151. Posted by guy who works at citi | December 1, 2010 at 9:59 PM

    where are the typos?

  152. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 10:07 PM

    Perma: Brilliant idea. One last question, what should I wear?

  153. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 10:11 PM

    I don’t think Washington University uses a GPA scale in its MBA program

  154. Posted by In Search Of... | December 1, 2010 at 10:40 PM

    We admire her tenacity and initiative and would be interested in having her interview for our boutique IB. If the author of the 11-page presentation entitled “I’m Always Awake With Citi: 9 Reasons Why You SHOULD Hire Me As Your Investment Banking Analyst” is reading this, please call: 212.398.8458.

  155. Posted by Colonel Sanders | December 1, 2010 at 10:49 PM

    Has anyone made the “She should have included a slide that says ‘me love you long time;”. I apologize if I am late to the party, but just wanted to throw that out there – seems like it could really add value to her presentation.

  156. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 10:54 PM

    Pmco, that would depend upon your target company now wouldn’t it?

  157. Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2010 at 11:33 PM

    snaps commentariat, excellent work today – i laughed and then cried

    off to west garden

  158. Posted by Guest | December 1, 2010 at 11:46 PM

    I arso excited about rearning how to use rinking velbs

  159. Posted by ryesq | December 2, 2010 at 12:26 AM

    I’m sure I could totally go to China, butcher their language and say “but but but, it’s my second language, what’s the problem?

  160. Posted by Vikrampandi | December 2, 2010 at 1:27 AM

    I predict her Tier 1 suctioning skills will be tested.

  161. Posted by Kung-Fu Pandit | December 2, 2010 at 1:33 AM

    Uh, no offence — but even the prodigious issue of this nation’s allegedly best colleges today can’t write in complete sentences. It’s the back office guys who can outspell them all.

    her Hail Mary Pass = Nice rack and a “winning smile”

    - A guy who weeps at our current state of affairs.

  162. Posted by Ashamed WUSTL student | December 2, 2010 at 1:35 AM

    Anyone know her name. I go to WUSTL and want to make fun of her.

  163. Posted by 1handbridgeover | December 2, 2010 at 2:10 AM

    All this risue talk leads me to believe pmco is a gay man posing as a man.

  164. Posted by Annika | December 2, 2010 at 2:12 AM

    If she wanted to send this to JPM, she should change the font to Trebuchet MS

  165. Posted by Copyeditor to the Stars | December 2, 2010 at 2:17 AM

    You were the first one to mention “talk a look” — congrats. I’d be happy to talk a look at your resume.

  166. Posted by CurrencyTrader | December 2, 2010 at 4:41 AM

    Why don’t you focus your time more effectively and figure out how it’s possible you are going to get a job out of WUSTL.

  167. Posted by Hateforeigners | December 2, 2010 at 6:07 AM

    All these idiots who can’t speak or write english even close to correctly. These foreign shits make it easy to be the best in your class at really any bank these days.

  168. Posted by Ubssucks | December 2, 2010 at 6:08 AM

    UBS will hire her to join the Automotive IPO team

  169. Posted by warren | December 2, 2010 at 6:10 AM

    This can’t be real.

  170. Posted by Moneyshot | December 2, 2010 at 2:18 PM

    Ankles behind your ears lets people know that you’re open and approachable.

  171. Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2010 at 2:44 PM

    This is most certainly real. There’s an email thread spreading to alums like wildfire. It has her resume and presentation attached.

    Looks like it made it to a few of the analyst distribution lists

  172. Posted by Ashamed WUSTL Student | December 2, 2010 at 2:45 PM

    Luckily I got one before this came out.

  173. Posted by guest | December 2, 2010 at 2:52 PM

    I believe, in these forums, the follow up question might be:

    And what exactly was the paper scented with?

  174. Posted by Guest | December 2, 2010 at 3:13 PM

    ^ guy who didn’t get accepted to WUSTL

  175. Posted by Charles Hanna | December 2, 2010 at 3:25 PM

    I was hung up on her grammer until I realized that she is probably Chinese with English as a Second Language, and has the same problem most foreigners who learned English in their home country’s schools. The article and most of the identifying words such as “mine”, “that”, etc. are not used in Oriental languages as they are part of the word, and English classes in their home country don’t usually stress them. She is energetic, smart, has multi-language skills, and, probably, a host of contacts in China…hire her, and pair her with an English Major to edit her work.

  176. Posted by You're a gross generalization. | December 2, 2010 at 5:59 PM

    First of all, you were clearly being racist. Second of all, she’s probably way to busy studying violin to give out handjobs.

  177. Posted by You're a gross generalization. | December 2, 2010 at 6:06 PM

    Crap. I meant “too busy” for all you grammar Nazis. Goodbye credability, hello assumptions that all proofreaders are members of the National Socialist German Workers Party. Poland’s about to get even more boring.

  178. Posted by guest | December 2, 2010 at 7:57 PM

    so you need 2 people to do the job? efficient.

  179. Posted by Yogagirl | December 2, 2010 at 10:36 PM

    And you sound like you’re just an a$$. You can’t even come up with a clever retort or at least an interesting self descriptive screen name like Poopneck Trader above.

  180. Posted by Yogagirl | December 2, 2010 at 10:41 PM

    English apparently isn’t her first language. So I’m cutting her some slack.

  181. Posted by Guest | December 3, 2010 at 2:08 PM

    Then hopefully u r bilingual and have a GPA that’s at least comparable. Try not to humiliate yourself~~~haha good luck ;)

  182. Posted by Guest | December 3, 2010 at 2:15 PM

    That’s why you do NOT get into Citi ;)

  183. Posted by Guest | December 3, 2010 at 2:23 PM

    u know what? If the grammar mistake is from the presentation, that’s her fault for sure. If it’s from the e-mail, it’s highly possible that it’s from the journalist who wrote that parapragh without doublechecking. U people r so boring. So after reading such an article about how to successfully get attention from IB, the only thing u get is to make fun of this girl’s english? That’s why unemloyment rate in america is that high but banks still give her, an international student, an interview. Pathetic!

  184. Posted by Ex-Lazard | December 3, 2010 at 10:23 PM

    She’s from China, hence a GPA from the Beijing Language and Culture University, where she presumably aced her English exams. Her nationality would explain this “creative”, very Chinesey attempt to differentiate herself. Maybe she would have gotten interviews with Goldman and Morgan Stanley if she mentioned CCP bigwig parents.

  185. Posted by another ashamed wustl student | December 4, 2010 at 12:28 AM

    Sigh this is making my school look so bad…. they are accepting people who can’t write english….

  186. Posted by Gf4 | December 4, 2010 at 12:40 AM

    how many of you jack offs can write a 95% grammatically accurate presentation in Mandarin?

  187. Posted by angry wustl student | December 5, 2010 at 1:01 AM

    let’s make this clear. wustl > every other school. this woman got in for one reason only, because she is chinese

  188. Posted by i dont like tools | December 5, 2010 at 7:25 PM

    this shit is riddled with spelling and grammatical errors, and she claims that she is a good writer and double checks her work before submission? you gotta be shitting me.

  189. Posted by Intelligent Wash U student | December 5, 2010 at 9:05 PM

    As another WUSTL student, I would rather you not associate your tired and senseless bigotry with my diploma. It’s worse than the OP. Thanks.

    Incidentally, YEAH, all the affirmative action east Asian students get in higher education, right?!

  190. Posted by Ingo_Potsch | December 7, 2010 at 11:20 AM

    The English is simply bad. But is that young lady from China? The sentences don’t seem to be so Chinese. I have been in China for several years and all this does not seem very Chinese. It reminds me rather of a different nation in Asia. Also, she seems to be not at all modest. I guess it is a hoax.

  191. Posted by not impressed | January 4, 2011 at 2:29 AM

    Hear that? It’s the sound of EMPLOYED analysts all over NYC laughing uncontrollably as they forward this joke to everyone they know. Don’t waste time creating multi-page documents full of fluff to get a job. No one will take you seriously. This kind of crap goes straight into everyone recycling bin. And if you want a job in the USA, don’t butcher the language.

  192. Posted by Tim Weaver | January 22, 2011 at 10:36 PM

    and yet hundreds of people are applauding this effort. Goes to show the kind of morons working in the financial sector of this country. These people create nothing. Loan officers and stockbrokers are some of the dullest, dumbest fucking people you’ll ever meet.

  193. Posted by san | January 25, 2011 at 3:41 PM

    She deserve to be selected
    Atleast she has taken some initiative

  194. Posted by Gues | October 13, 2011 at 7:02 PM

    Dear applicant,

    If you have studied the principles of personal development that include weight-lifting, brick breaking, aprés-skiing, tennis volley and last but not least, salsa dancing, please do not hesitate to contact us.

    -UBS HR

  195. Posted by AlanH | October 14, 2011 at 7:41 AM

    Her grammer is shocking. Also, she should know that you cannot imply you are "Tier 1" or tier anything as a CFA student or charterholder. That's covered in the ethics section of Level I. So I'd check her qualifications carefully.

  196. Posted by GreenMil | October 14, 2011 at 9:50 AM

    Her grammer, or her grammar? Pot, kettle.

  197. Posted by Kettle | October 16, 2011 at 4:11 PM

    grammer grammar, it's still atrocious… and he's right about the CFA usage.

  198. Posted by A Realist | October 17, 2011 at 8:26 PM

    This was leaked by a Citi HR representative? That is truly outrageous. The kid is just trying to find a job in a tough industry and environment… their initiative should be welcomed. At the very least not leaked and globally mocked.

    I try and pretend to myself that this industry actually has some OK people in its midst. But no, they're mostly all robotic scum. Geckko was a generous simulacrum for the real core.

  199. Posted by Guest | October 19, 2011 at 2:19 PM

    Geckko would have been an admin assistant in my office . .

  200. Posted by lol wut | October 20, 2011 at 9:49 AM

    The communicative slide just kills me

  201. Posted by David | November 2, 2011 at 10:50 AM

    "I also have great writing skills and have earned many composition prizes."

    I just snorted and laughed out loud in McDonalds and everybody looked at me like wtf

  202. Posted by J Corzine | January 23, 2012 at 3:17 PM

    I have a job that's perfect for you. I need someone to locate misplaced funds as I'm having a tough time with the regulators. When can you start?

  203. Posted by Ihateyou | January 25, 2012 at 11:58 AM

    "grammar". Thanks.

  204. Posted by Guest | January 30, 2012 at 6:33 PM

    As much fun as it is for you posters to identify a person that you perceive as dumber than you, has anyone considered that this person might be Chinese and English is their second language ?

  205. Posted by guest | January 31, 2012 at 11:52 PM

    Has anyone ever considered that this is America and you should speak American if you're applying to American jobs? Just an idea.

  206. Posted by Guest | February 1, 2012 at 9:38 AM

    You mean like "Howdy" and "Kawfee"? Give the person a break…not everyone graduated Magnum Gun Lauda….

  207. Posted by Pedantic Guy | February 1, 2012 at 3:14 PM

    Yes most people here have. We decided that rather than speak "American" we'll opt to use this funny language called English.

    PS If you're going to be an asshole, try not to appear like an idiot as well.

  208. Posted by Reneged | February 1, 2012 at 6:11 PM

    Dear Applicant –

    Just reread your powerpoints . . . realized you only raised $200 at your charity event. Please don't come in next Monday.

    -Citi HR

  209. Posted by Dranoes | February 3, 2012 at 3:17 PM

    Definitely considered. There was a whiff of Engrish clinging to the whole thing.

  210. Posted by UBS HR female | February 6, 2012 at 3:15 AM

    PS If you're going to be judging other people posts while trying to sound witty, at least come up with a good line. You appeared as an asshole, an idiot and a douche bag yourself. You one upped the previous poster, nice job!

  211. Posted by A for effort | February 6, 2012 at 9:53 PM

    The kid who wrote this shows far too much initiative and originality to be a good IB analyst.
    Also Washington University is not a "target school." Kid will probably never even get an auto-reply.

  212. Posted by Interning4ever | February 10, 2012 at 3:31 AM

    "talk a look"? seriously? and what about the parallelism we've all learned so hard for SAT?

  213. Posted by DUWOLV | February 24, 2012 at 5:00 PM

    She's obviously not a native English speaker. Her grammatical mistakes are very typical of people who speak Chinese as a first language. Imagine trying to write coherently in a language with completely different grammatical structures! While it's no excuse for writing badly, especially if you want a job in America -she shouldn't be made fun of!

  214. Posted by Sandusky | February 25, 2012 at 5:39 PM

    What happened to making fun of people on this site without having to worry about being reprimanded by a person with a conscience? The person who put this presentation together is obviously Linsane

  215. Posted by kav | February 28, 2012 at 7:05 PM

    laugh all u want but can any of u speak a Chinese language? not his/her first language, and it shows but she'll have the last laugh someday…. ppl with that kinda drive get to places and they will improve their english as well..

  216. Posted by Cordial Savage | March 28, 2012 at 6:09 PM

    HR opinions don't matter.

  217. Posted by Cordial Savage | March 28, 2012 at 6:10 PM

    "u"? "ppl"? You fail, too.

  218. Posted by Michael | March 30, 2012 at 1:09 AM

    "I always double check my work in order to guarantee there is no mistake."

  219. Posted by Guest | March 30, 2012 at 4:47 PM

    ha ha ha.

    -Hard Working Immigrant

  220. Posted by Bowplape | April 13, 2012 at 3:38 PM

    you will like hermes replica online shopping

  221. Posted by Bristol Airport Hotels | April 19, 2012 at 3:48 PM

    MBeySj A round of applause for your blog article.Really looking forward to read more.

  222. Posted by gas refrigerator | April 24, 2012 at 5:41 PM

    Enjoyed every bit of your blog article. Really Cool.

  223. Posted by cobra amp forged | April 25, 2012 at 4:12 AM

    Thank you for your article post.Much thanks again. Great.

  224. Posted by translation service | April 25, 2012 at 1:42 PM

    Say, you got a nice post. Great.

  225. Posted by acne on back | April 26, 2012 at 4:01 PM

    I think this is a real great blog post.Thanks Again. Much obliged.

  226. Posted by mortgage | April 26, 2012 at 5:15 PM

    Looking forward to reading more. Great post.Really looking forward to read more. Really Great.

  227. Posted by cheap zynga chips | April 27, 2012 at 1:50 PM

    wow, awesome article post.Much thanks again. Great.

  228. Posted by buy Facebook fans | April 27, 2012 at 3:05 PM

    I am so grateful for your post.Really thank you! Great.

  229. Posted by wegner | April 27, 2012 at 5:38 PM

    Great, thanks for sharing this article.Much thanks again. Will read on…

  230. Posted by group on | April 27, 2012 at 9:59 PM

    Thanks-a-mundo for the blog post. Want more.

  231. Posted by E-Books | April 28, 2012 at 2:33 AM

    Great post.Much thanks again. Really Cool.

  232. Posted by pay day loans | April 28, 2012 at 6:35 AM

    Thank you for your blog article. Awesome.

  233. Posted by dna moczanowa | April 28, 2012 at 9:06 AM

    Appreciate you sharing, great post.Really thank you! Awesome.

  234. Posted by pcb China | April 28, 2012 at 8:32 PM

    Awesome blog article. Will read on…

  235. Posted by multivitamin | April 28, 2012 at 10:37 PM

    Thanks again for the blog.Really thank you! Awesome.

  236. Posted by impresoras hp laser | April 29, 2012 at 3:24 AM

    Major thanks for the article post.Much thanks again. Much obliged.

  237. Posted by pikavippi pankkitunnuksilla | April 29, 2012 at 4:20 PM

    Thanks again for the article.Thanks Again. Fantastic.

  238. Posted by surveys for money | April 30, 2012 at 12:57 AM

    Appreciate you sharing, great blog article.Really thank you!

  239. Posted by become a porn star | April 30, 2012 at 1:51 PM

    I cannot thank you enough for the blog.Thanks Again. Will read on…

  240. Posted by inseratemarkt | May 1, 2012 at 5:11 PM

    Major thankies for the blog post.Really thank you! Want more.

  241. Posted by mage magnus | May 1, 2012 at 8:20 PM

    Looking forward to reading more. Great article post.Really looking forward to read more. Really Cool.

  242. Posted by russian keyboard | May 2, 2012 at 1:43 AM

    Very good article post. Really Cool.

  243. Posted by beats dre solo headphones | May 2, 2012 at 4:24 AM

    I cannot thank you enough for the blog.Thanks Again. Really Great.

  244. Posted by trade gold | May 2, 2012 at 8:32 AM

    Major thankies for the blog article.Really looking forward to read more. Cool.

  245. Posted by zumba ch | May 2, 2012 at 4:22 PM

    Awesome blog post.Really thank you! Keep writing.

  246. Posted by herbal remedies | May 3, 2012 at 3:42 AM

    Wow, great blog article.Really thank you! Will read on…

  247. Posted by wives | May 5, 2012 at 4:42 AM

    Great, thanks for sharing this blog article.Really thank you! Will read on…

  248. Posted by Prototype 2 | May 5, 2012 at 6:10 AM

    Appreciate you sharing, great blog article.Really thank you! Much obliged.

  249. Posted by Relationship Advice | May 7, 2012 at 8:31 AM

    Thanks for the blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Awesome.

  250. Posted by Speck Iphone Case | May 8, 2012 at 3:03 AM

    Muchos Gracias for your post. Great.

  251. Posted by freelancer / freelancers | May 8, 2012 at 3:43 AM

    Really enjoyed this article post.Thanks Again. Great.

  252. Posted by landscape canvas art | May 8, 2012 at 5:12 AM

    I value the blog.Really looking forward to read more. Fantastic.

  253. Posted by bookmark | May 8, 2012 at 8:45 AM

    Hey, thanks for the article.Thanks Again. Really Great.

  254. Posted by Promotional Gifts | May 8, 2012 at 6:48 PM

    Thanks so much for the article.Really thank you! Really Great.

  255. Posted by Dummy | May 8, 2012 at 8:20 PM

    Thanks-a-mundo for the blog.Really thank you! Great.

  256. Posted by pre-foreclosures | May 8, 2012 at 9:52 PM

    I really enjoy the blog.Really looking forward to read more. Want more.

  257. Posted by hid bulb | May 9, 2012 at 12:57 AM

    Very informative blog article.Really looking forward to read more. Much obliged.

  258. Posted by Met | May 9, 2012 at 8:47 AM

    Say, you got a nice blog post.Really thank you! Want more.

  259. Posted by pro ana | May 9, 2012 at 12:40 PM

    Hey, thanks for the post.Thanks Again.

  260. Posted by funky pens | May 9, 2012 at 12:44 PM

    Really enjoyed this article post.Really thank you! Keep writing.

  261. Posted by undertile heating mats | May 10, 2012 at 5:34 AM

    I really enjoy the blog post. Great.

  262. Posted by tabla | May 10, 2012 at 6:35 AM

    Fantastic article post.Really thank you! Great.

  263. Posted by the panderer | May 15, 2012 at 12:40 PM

    huh, how did she get a hold of a photo of a Chinese multi-tasker ??

    Just saying..

  264. Posted by Buy No Exam Life Insurance Online | May 17, 2012 at 12:31 PM

    Major thankies for the blog post.Much thanks again.

  265. Posted by 10xLevered | May 18, 2012 at 9:23 PM

    Aren't comments supposed to be funny?

  266. Posted by 10xLevered | May 18, 2012 at 9:31 PM

    I wasn't aware Citi was exclusively recruiting Chinese gold farmers for its IBD.

  267. Posted by yeast | May 22, 2012 at 6:02 PM

    Thank you ever so for you blog post.Much thanks again. Much obliged.

  268. Posted by leeds web design | May 23, 2012 at 12:40 AM

    Wow, great blog post.Really thank you! Will read on…

  269. Posted by TMJ | May 23, 2012 at 12:24 PM

    I appreciate you sharing this article post. Awesome.

Leave a comment

You can log in with your account or comment as a guest below.