While Stephen Colbert is all good with Wall Street bonuses, he is aware that 70% of American playa-hatas are not. He’d like someone making it rain this year to come on his show and make people understand why they money is deserved but so far no one has accepted his offer. Luckily, one of his writers found a lost credit card belonging to a Goldman Sachs partner last week. Specifically, the MasterCard of Buckley T. Ratchford, who was inducted into the Brotherhood of the Sach in 2006.

So here’s what– every night that Buckley does not appear on the Colbert Report to talk bonuses, Stephen will give out one number from his card. One would assume BTR had the foresight to cancel his card after losing it but he probably would still prefer the digits not shared with the world? Maybe? Anyway, last night was 5. Tonight, another body. A little bit about the victim– Buck was married in March (wife is a chef at Mas); he works in the global credit division at GS, is a graduate of Dartmouth, the London School of Economics, and Harvard Law. As a partner, he presumably has his own fleet of Tonton Macoutes who can deal with this issue should it escalate, in addition to Lloyd’s pager number and the instruction to “beep me any time, day or night, if you’re in trouble and legs need to be broken.”

The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Found Goldman Sachs MasterCard
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog</a> March to Keep Fear Alive
37 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
Show all comments ↓

Comments (37)

  1. Posted by Tad | December 14, 2010 at 2:15 PM

    Wife is hot.

  2. Posted by Banker_chick | December 14, 2010 at 2:16 PM

    He is hot.

  3. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2010 at 2:26 PM

    she looks a little pretentious.

  4. Posted by rando | December 14, 2010 at 2:27 PM

    that only makes her hotter…

  5. Posted by Anon | December 14, 2010 at 2:29 PM

    or frigid.

  6. Posted by SellItToME | December 14, 2010 at 2:29 PM

    Lifelock ad as the jump ftw!

  7. Posted by Frank Abagnale | December 14, 2010 at 2:31 PM

    The leading digit “5” simply means its a MasterCard. Nothing for ol’ Buck Ratchford to worry about… yet.

  8. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2010 at 2:33 PM

    thanks for cracking that code. we never would’ve known it was a mastercard.

  9. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | December 14, 2010 at 2:43 PM

    No, that would be Chase debit.

  10. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2010 at 2:47 PM

    Buckley T. Ratchford sounds like an ironic name for a Williamsburg pet cat.

  11. Posted by Festerbottom, Charles | December 14, 2010 at 2:51 PM

    Effing WASPs, what’re you gonna do?

  12. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2010 at 2:53 PM

    bet she has a wide V

  13. Posted by rando | December 14, 2010 at 2:56 PM

    frigid now…but probably has angry sex a lot, no?

  14. Posted by WASP Chroniclator | December 14, 2010 at 3:00 PM

    He’s not 1st tier WASP. For that he would need either a “nickname” or a roman numeral. For example:

    Buckley T. “D-Bag” Ratchford or Buckley T. Ratchford XIX.

  15. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2010 at 3:01 PM

    methinks you don’t understand the meaning of the term frigid.

  16. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2010 at 3:02 PM

    why is that? because you heard that joke on curb your enthusiasm and thought you’d just repeat it? you couldn’t even be bothered to contextualize it with the post?

  17. Posted by GlobalReachAround | December 14, 2010 at 3:09 PM

    Why do Jewish chicks hate giving head?

  18. Posted by Guest_guest | December 14, 2010 at 3:12 PM

    this is a reply to globalreacharound (who I for some reason can’t reply to directly)- as someone who’s dated many a Jewish chick, I’ve never found that to be the case. maybe they (and chicks in general) just hate giving YOU head?

  19. Posted by GlobalReachAround | December 14, 2010 at 3:28 PM

    So you’re saying they hate giving me head? I say shenanigans to that.

  20. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2010 at 3:30 PM

    Nicely done.

  21. Posted by Guest_guest | December 14, 2010 at 3:32 PM

    “So you’re saying they hate giving me head?”

    yes. that’s exactly what we’re saying. have they expressed a lack of interest in giving it to you? do they give it to others?

  22. Posted by GGGuest | December 14, 2010 at 4:12 PM

    I’m usually one not to profile, but I have yet to “meet” a jewish girl who could not suck start a leaf blower. So in this instance…sometimes it’s not, but when everyone has a different experience…well the only conclusion is that is, in fact, you.

  23. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2010 at 4:14 PM

    what if it was: Buckley “T-Bag” Ratchford XIV I think the WASPiverse would explode

  24. Posted by Anonymous | December 14, 2010 at 4:51 PM

    question for her: why the long face?

  25. Posted by Joseph di Jersey City | December 14, 2010 at 5:14 PM

    The only girl I ever dated who was resistant to giving head was Jewish. She was also (perhaps not coincidentally) the only Jewish girl I’ve dated so it’s too small an n to draw conclusions.

  26. Posted by Jacob Moore | December 14, 2010 at 5:17 PM

    I know that guy. He will never go on the show.

  27. Posted by Anonymous | December 14, 2010 at 5:50 PM

    Black Mastercard ooh that’s impressive, now if it was a black AE then that would have been worth something.

  28. Posted by Anonymous | December 14, 2010 at 7:00 PM

    Seeing as how you’re so well connected, perhaps you could get his autograph for me?

    – Guy that’s easily impressed

  29. Posted by Elliot Rosewater | December 14, 2010 at 7:17 PM

    I will bet you a dollar the next one is a 4.

  30. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2010 at 7:21 PM

    Being a MOT and at times unfaithful to the tribe, getting head has never been the issue. It’s spit/swallow vs the pull away that’s been the crux of the issue. And it’s a fairly even split amongst the two religions in my experience.

    – 2 cents

  31. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2010 at 8:17 PM

    Get one for me too!

    -Tashard Choice

  32. Posted by Jacob Moore | December 14, 2010 at 8:30 PM

    sorry, they axed my whole dept.

  33. Posted by Jacob Moore is a | December 14, 2010 at 8:33 PM

    Fag

  34. Posted by budfox07 | December 15, 2010 at 5:00 PM

    Found this on WSB :http://wallstreetbeast.blogspot.com/2010/12/curious-case-of-buckley-t-ratchford.html#comments
    Ah, Buckley! Remember me? It’s Thornton Wicks, old boy! Dartmouth Crew ’94. You were quite the pip in those days Buck…a real rabble rouser as they say. HaHa! Well, I see this liberal stooge Colbert has stolen your plastic princess. No worries, old Buck. I’ll have my father, the formidable Winston Wicks, use his considerable means to pay a common thug to hunt down this Irish jester. We’ll just wait outside of whatever gay bathhouse this communist poof Colbert frequents and then….blammo!! Off with his head! Give Karen my best.

  35. Posted by Ghillie Suits | December 23, 2010 at 11:44 PM

    I think it was a 4

  36. Posted by Ghillie Suits | December 23, 2010 at 11:44 PM

    or a 6011

  37. Posted by military credit cards | February 26, 2011 at 6:55 AM

    Nice information.And now a days there are a lot of facilities offering by different banks so that to increase the user rate.And recently military credit cards are offering the best facilities.The best thing about this card is it automatically pays you the rewards in your account monthly without the usual $50 minimum like most credit cards.