While Stephen Colbert is all good with Wall Street bonuses, he is aware that 70% of American playa-hatas are not. He’d like someone making it rain this year to come on his show and make people understand why they money is deserved but so far no one has accepted his offer. Luckily, one of his writers found a lost credit card belonging to a Goldman Sachs partner last week. Specifically, the MasterCard of Buckley T. Ratchford, who was inducted into the Brotherhood of the Sach in 2006.
So here’s what– every night that Buckley does not appear on the Colbert Report to talk bonuses, Stephen will give out one number from his card. One would assume BTR had the foresight to cancel his card after losing it but he probably would still prefer the digits not shared with the world? Maybe? Anyway, last night was 5. Tonight, another body. A little bit about the victim– Buck was married in March (wife is a chef at Mas); he works in the global credit division at GS, is a graduate of Dartmouth, the London School of Economics, and Harvard Law. As a partner, he presumably has his own fleet of Tonton Macoutes who can deal with this issue should it escalate, in addition to Lloyd’s pager number and the instruction to “beep me any time, day or night, if you’re in trouble and legs need to be broken.”
| The Colbert Report | Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Found Goldman Sachs MasterCard | ||||
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Wife is hot.
He is hot.
she looks a little pretentious.
Lifelock ad as the jump ftw!
that only makes her hotter…
The leading digit “5″ simply means its a MasterCard. Nothing for ol’ Buck Ratchford to worry about… yet.
thanks for cracking that code. we never would’ve known it was a mastercard.
No, that would be Chase debit.
Buckley T. Ratchford sounds like an ironic name for a Williamsburg pet cat.
Effing WASPs, what’re you gonna do?
bet she has a wide V
frigid now…but probably has angry sex a lot, no?
methinks you don’t understand the meaning of the term frigid.
He’s not 1st tier WASP. For that he would need either a “nickname” or a roman numeral. For example:
Buckley T. “D-Bag” Ratchford or Buckley T. Ratchford XIX.
why is that? because you heard that joke on curb your enthusiasm and thought you’d just repeat it? you couldn’t even be bothered to contextualize it with the post?
Why do Jewish chicks hate giving head?
this is a reply to globalreacharound (who I for some reason can’t reply to directly)- as someone who’s dated many a Jewish chick, I’ve never found that to be the case. maybe they (and chicks in general) just hate giving YOU head?
So you’re saying they hate giving me head? I say shenanigans to that.
“So you’re saying they hate giving me head?”
yes. that’s exactly what we’re saying. have they expressed a lack of interest in giving it to you? do they give it to others?
Nicely done.
I’m usually one not to profile, but I have yet to “meet” a jewish girl who could not suck start a leaf blower. So in this instance…sometimes it’s not, but when everyone has a different experience…well the only conclusion is that is, in fact, you.
what if it was: Buckley “T-Bag” Ratchford XIV I think the WASPiverse would explode
question for her: why the long face?
The only girl I ever dated who was resistant to giving head was Jewish. She was also (perhaps not coincidentally) the only Jewish girl I’ve dated so it’s too small an n to draw conclusions.
I know that guy. He will never go on the show.
Black Mastercard ooh that’s impressive, now if it was a black AE then that would have been worth something.
Seeing as how you’re so well connected, perhaps you could get his autograph for me?
- Guy that’s easily impressed
I will bet you a dollar the next one is a 4.
Being a MOT and at times unfaithful to the tribe, getting head has never been the issue. It’s spit/swallow vs the pull away that’s been the crux of the issue. And it’s a fairly even split amongst the two religions in my experience.
- 2 cents
Get one for me too!
-Tashard Choice
sorry, they axed my whole dept.
Fag
or frigid.
Found this on WSB :http://wallstreetbeast.blogspot.com/2010/12/curious-case-of-buckley-t-ratchford.html#comments
Ah, Buckley! Remember me? It’s Thornton Wicks, old boy! Dartmouth Crew ’94. You were quite the pip in those days Buck…a real rabble rouser as they say. HaHa! Well, I see this liberal stooge Colbert has stolen your plastic princess. No worries, old Buck. I’ll have my father, the formidable Winston Wicks, use his considerable means to pay a common thug to hunt down this Irish jester. We’ll just wait outside of whatever gay bathhouse this communist poof Colbert frequents and then….blammo!! Off with his head! Give Karen my best.
I think it was a 4
or a 6011
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