This Is Why Jeffrey Gundlach Is Awesome

A lot people would probably tell you that bond investor Jeffrey Gundlach’s awesomeness stems from the staggeringly impressive sex toy and porn collection he kept in his office at TWC before he was fired/quit last year (itemized here). And while being Wall Street’s foremost dildo collector and having the entire Dr. Fellatio series, as in volumes 1-16, on hand is certainly something to admire someone for, it’s not actually the attribute that defines Gundlach or makes him stand out from the pack. Arguably, JG’s most defining characteristic– the one that just makes you want to squeeze his cheeks– is how much Jeffrey Gundlach loves himself some Jeffrey Gundlach.

As previously mentioned, Gundlach admits to “frequently” referring to himself as The Godfather or The Pope in emails and “occasionally sends reprimands to those who fail to use the monikers in addressing him.” He’s also asked people “what’s it like having lunch with a genius” (the genius being he, natch), and told Bloomberg, “I’m the guy who makes it rain in the desert.”

So it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that in response to the press reports that the Justice Department is probing Gundlach’s breakup with TCW (specifically, the firm’s ensuing drop-out of the PPIP program) and TCW’s comment that it has been informed it, and not JG or DoubleLine, is the victim, that Gundlach and his people had this to say:

In recent press statements, TCW’s representatives claim that TCW is “the victim”. DoubleLine believes that the real victim is the U.S. taxpayers who were promised Jeffrey Gundlach as the key man to manage their funds while TCW was conspiring for months to fire Jeffrey and replace him with a manager that they did not want.

Sorry, people of America. We know how badly you wanted a piece of this.

Statement from DoubleLine and Jeffrey Gundlach [DoubleLine]

(hidden for your protection)
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15 Responses to “This Is Why Jeffrey Gundlach Is Awesome”

  1. Seaman Bodine says:

    Wow what an original. I don’t know anyone else in the biz like JG.

  2. Guest says:

    Bess, please fwd him my resume.

  3. Anon says:

    do you know anyone who would go on the record as loving himself this much? no, you don’t so STFU.

  4. Taxpayer says:

    I am an American taxpayer and I want no one other than Mr. Gundlach to manage my tax money.

  5. indridcold says:

    the only place this guy makes it rain is on a yeast infection.

  6. Guest says:



  7. Guest says:

    makes zero sense, but thanks?

  8. AnusMcGaperson says:

    The only way Gundlach’s name could be better is if it were Grundlesnatch. Then he would truly be king of Gang Bang my Face at Minetta’s Universe.

  9. Anonymous says:

    “What’s it like having lunch with a genius?” My first thought would be to retort “haven’t a clue” although if someone were actually to say that in the middle of a business lunch I think I’d either a) snarf my drink or b) laugh nervously, rush through the rest of lunch and decide that the guy was a complete friggin lunatic who I would never EVER trust with my cash…

  10. Buffaloon says:

    In that post, Ol’ JC says she is up for an interview. Let the show begin! I’d like to see a triple-interview with her, Gianna, and Mandy Drury.

    Then again, I’d also like to see the Bills with more than 2 wins, and that’s not likely to happen either.

  11. Thrust-CooftheWest says:

    The biggest dare at TCW is not eating 100 McNuggets but sitting on Gundlach’s old chair and using his keyboard. True story.

  12. tits says:

    What about Back Door Slots vol #69

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