What Could Paul Tudor Jones Possibly Have Planned For His Christmas Spectacular This Year?

As many of you may be aware, some of us intimately, each year Paul Tudor Jones holds a Christmas spectacular on his front lawn in Greenwich, Connecticut. Open to the public, it’s become a favorite event for children and adults of all ages, far and wide. After being forced to cancel his Halloween extravaganza this year, as a result of neighbors who lack any heart, some worried that PTJ’s Christmas show would suffer the same fate. Well worry no longer. This thing is on, and that’s not all.

According to Greenwich Time, “the display is expected to rival those of past years.” Considering that in “past years,” the display has included upwards of 36,000 lights, little drummer boy dances synchronized to music that people can listen to on the radio as they pull up to the house, one wonders what PTJ could to do to top himself. Will the ladies of Beamers be performing as Rockettes on the front lawn? Will every onlooker get a free bucket of chicken? Will a Santa suit-wearing PTJ allow guests to bounce on his knee? These are the things we need answers to.

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19 Responses to “What Could Paul Tudor Jones Possibly Have Planned For His Christmas Spectacular This Year?”

  1. Anonymous says:

    To all our snobby Belle Haven neighbors:

    Go fuck yourselves.

    Happy Holidays!


  2. This message is only legit if delivered to each resident on ornate stationary by a uniformed manservant.

  3. Greaseball says:

    Those little lights aren’t twinkling.

    – Arte

  4. Clark Griswold says:

    Christmas Vacation – classic.

    Well played sir

  5. Put_Option says:

    Is that Ivana Trump over there? Oh no, its just Bruce Kovner dressed as a Rockette…

  6. Echo says:

    I vote that Jess and Bess and Giana go to visit the PTJ Christmas Wonderland. I know you went a few years ago, but it’s time to take the camcorder and see what he’s done with the place since ’08.

  7. PTJ says:

    I’m good for a solid 2000 onlookers when I flip the switch. I got the lights from Santa Claus at an auction. The man’s a stud.

  8. Guest says:

    You got it all backwards. The Rockettes will be performing, as the ladies of Beamers…

  9. Retail Guy says:

    These guys have been working on this all year. They have been known to drink wine coolers.

  10. Buddy says:

    “The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear. “

  11. Arijit says:

    I always love Christmas and all the dnairctooes. My husband is the one who gets super excited about it though and hauls all those bins down from the attic and up from the basement even before Thanksgiving. It always brings back fond childhood memories when I hear certain songs on the radio. Great time of the year!

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