As you may have heard, speculation is mounting that New York Jets Coach Rex Ryan and his wife have starred in some foot fetish movies that can be found on the internet. In addition to forensic evidence that seems to point to the couple’s involvement in the foot appreciation flick (the woman’s resemblance to Michelle Ryan is uncanny, the voice of the guy off-screen sounds like Rex, the profile user “ihaveprettyfeet” can also be found on an online dating site where her location is the same Maryland city MR lived in when her husband was an assistant coach with the Ravens, the biographical information listed for “ihaveprettyfeet” matches that of Mrs. Ryan, as does the height differential between “ihpf” and her spouse to that of the Ryans), the fact that a Jets spokesman’s comment to the press was “This is a personal matter,” seems to indicate the Ryans may really love feet and the idea of people watching them love their feet. Think this story doesn’t impact your life? THINK AGAIN!
Whether or not Rex Ryan likes to suck on toes, of course, isn’t the issue here. On that point we say, don’t yuck other people’s yums, live and let live, etc. What you should be thinking about, if you’re a hedge fund manager who values his privacy, a chief executive whose board would not want to read about such a story in the press, an analyst who doesn’t want people wondering if you have an ulterior motive in downgrading Crocs to sell, a regular old financial services hack not wanting to give Wall Street haters any ammo or the like, are the lessons to be gleaned here re: keeping that shit under wraps.
To start, there’s the matter of a statement to the press. “This is a personal matter” wasn’t a good idea. A categoric denial, or better yet, not returning calls for comment would’ve been preferable. But it should never have gotten that far. In this day and age putting anything on tape is a bad idea but if you must, consider 1) investing in one of those machines they used to throw voices (like in Scream) and 2) no faces– alternatively, have a mask created in your sworn enemy’s likeness. For instance, if you were the CEO of Goldman Sachs and you insisted on appearing in an amateur fetish video, do so looking like Matt Taibbi from the neck up. And so on and so forth. Any other suggestions as to how to anonymously enjoy your fetish in a discreet way are welcomed at this time. Let’s keep the Street safe for the bank CEO who– and this is just an example I’m not pointing to anyone in particular– likes use jello molds in a way they were definitely not intended.
This May Or May Not Be Rex Ryan’s Wife Making A Foot Fetish Video [Deadspin via Daily Intel]
Bess, I will at Minetta’s tonight and will be wearing my mistletoe belt buckle – see you there
To that’s the f’n snack Rex was talking about
To that’s the f’n snack Rex was talking about
I was hoping there would be more fisting.
E. Warren
We do know that Rex likes FOOTlong sandwiches….
wacka wacka
Of her or Rex?
another clue!
Don’t leave stuff in your desk.
J.Gundlach
In my defense, it was Sal Alosi that got me into the foot thing during the Miami game. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jzpssk-iXU
I dont know about fetishes but as long as we’re in the safe space, can I share something? Ive been having this fantasy lately. I walk into my local Curves wearing my mesh Hawaii 69 jersey, cut off knee length jorts, Confederate flag doo rag and my white as snow British Knights. I wave to Sandy who is watching Oprah on the elliptical and think to myself if she lost a little weight shed look like Kathy Bates. I check my Twitter feed, set down my creatine laced Raspberry Lime Chrystal Light then make sure my boner is still duck taped to my leg. I lean back on the bench, softly kiss the bar and then lift the weights. Wow I think to myself this seems like a lot more weight than ~250, but without a spotter I have no choice but to find out if I can do this. I close my eyes and have visions of people visiting my website and actually thinking the material is worth the time they took to read it. As the weight touches my chest I dig deeper and think of all the commenters at Dealbreaker that have NO CLUE WTF they are talking about, I become filled with rage. Before I know it my elbows are locked. I have done it. I have finally bench pressed ~250.
-Anal_yst
Bravo!
And I must say that my BK’s scored me loads of fine ass during my high school days in the 90′s
Funny, my confederate doo rag got me loads of oral foot fucking when I debuted it at the Conroe prison phone room.
Sir A. Stanford
I remember a report on the news that said Crips were getting shot because in gang circles British Knights stood for Blood Killer, I spent the next 6 months terrified I was going to get clipped on the walk home from school.
-Guy raised in white suburbia
I heard Lloyd wears BK’s because he thinks they are the model number for the “Blankfein 1000s”. He wears them when he isn’t wearing his Adidas shell tops; he thinks ADIDAS is an acronym for All Day I Dream About Sachs.
Clearly with lines like this it’ll be the first time you’ve spoken to an actual female.
Good luck.
Clearly with lines like this it’ll be the first time you’ve spoken to an actual female.
Good luck.
Sex Cryin’
the vagina is my third favorite hole
~Ping
Hell yeah i suck toes! Welcome to Pop Copy, can I help you?
-guy who misses chappelle show and quotes it whenever he can fit it in
where is j michael pate when you need him
Rex says he is “gellin’ like a felon…”
Corn on the cob was never so sweet.
-Toesies Woesies
What’s his screen name ihaveprettytits?
I have never fucked a Samoan.
I was really going to be challenged in going after these investment banker-types. Like a forehead fetishist dating a foot festishist, to get lucky I was going to have to go toe to toe with them.
-Sgt. Frank Drebin
Detective Lieutenant
SEC Squad
This is just a teaser, fellas. It might be her feet, but I think I smell a viral marketing campaign. I can’t wait for Michelle’s soon-to-be-released porn / foot fetish version of HBO’s Hard Knocks, “HBToes Hard Cocks” to sweep the AVN awards.
T-O-E-S! TOES! TOES! TOES!!!
So excited I found this article as it made things much qiukcer!
vM2r3N usneqoohouxt