• 18 Jan 2011 at 1:12 PM

Bonus Watch ’11: JPMorgan

Numbers out today.

Apparently IB bonuses are “20% down at the senior management level, 10% for the absolute peons, and 10-15% for everyone else.”

That’s all we know for now, let us know if there’s anything you’d like to get off your chest.

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Comments (183)

  1. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 6:24 PM

    this would really be more helpful with actual numbers

  2. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 6:24 PM

    this would really be more helpful with actual numbers

  3. Posted by NakedShort | January 18, 2011 at 6:33 PM

    They’ve helped thousands, they’ll help you, too. One lump sum of cash they will pay to you. If you got screwed on your bonus and you need cash now.

    Call J.G. Wentworth!
    877 CASH NOW

  4. Posted by NakedShort | January 18, 2011 at 6:33 PM

    They’ve helped thousands, they’ll help you, too. One lump sum of cash they will pay to you. If you got screwed on your bonus and you need cash now.

    Call J.G. Wentworth!
    877 CASH NOW

  5. Posted by NakedShort | January 18, 2011 at 6:33 PM

    They’ve helped thousands, they’ll help you, too. One lump sum of cash they will pay to you. If you got screwed on your bonus and you need cash now.

    Call J.G. Wentworth!
    877 CASH NOW

  6. Posted by NakedShort | January 18, 2011 at 6:33 PM

    They’ve helped thousands, they’ll help you, too. One lump sum of cash they will pay to you. If you got screwed on your bonus and you need cash now.

    Call J.G. Wentworth!
    877 CASH NOW

  7. Posted by NakedShort | January 18, 2011 at 6:33 PM

    They’ve helped thousands, they’ll help you, too. One lump sum of cash they will pay to you. If you got screwed on your bonus and you need cash now.

    Call J.G. Wentworth!
    877 CASH NOW

  8. Posted by Anonymous | January 18, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    your bonus is waiting in the 2nd floor cafeteria.-Head ChefJP Morgan Donuts, Inc.

  9. Posted by Anon | January 18, 2011 at 6:39 PM

    then why don’t you get out there and get some actual numbers, champ?

  10. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 6:40 PM

    Hey – what happened to Anal_yst? Back to the farm in ND? Haven’t seen him post lately.

    - Guy who posts off-topic shit

  11. Posted by AlessandroMachi | January 18, 2011 at 6:51 PM

    I disagree, guest. Bonuses that only drop 20% in bad economic times send out an alarm. Remember, the banks don’t create anything, banks just buy companies that lose value after being denied credit that they used to be able to get and pretend they did something.

    Banks suction money out of local economies, then repackage it in triplicate and take their cut at the beginning, not as the transaction has aged.

    Banks then use the upfront cut to move industry to the lowest cost places on the planet, causing the U.S. middle class to default through lack of jobs, banks then swoop in and take property, and then reward themselves with huge bonuses.

    http://www.swarmthebanks.com
    http://www.parallelforeclosure.com
    http://www.unfairforeclosures.com

  12. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 6:55 PM

    more useful advice for Credit Suisse employees perhaps?

  13. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 6:57 PM

    Thank you for your explanation of how this industry works. Are you declaring a blood libel on banking?

  14. Posted by Guessed | January 18, 2011 at 6:57 PM

    Take it easy Michael Moore.

  15. Posted by guest | January 18, 2011 at 6:57 PM

    But yet, does anyone know present value of their bonus numbers?

  16. Posted by Anonymous | January 18, 2011 at 7:01 PM

    The jail in Tuscon has internet?

  17. Posted by derp | January 18, 2011 at 7:02 PM

    Go back to your shanties

    -Shooter

  18. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:03 PM

    because i don’t know any JPM bankers, sport.

  19. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:04 PM

    Too soon?

  20. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:04 PM

    Too soon?

  21. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:04 PM

    you disagree? you care more about the % change in your income than the actual amount? that’s retarded,

  22. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:04 PM

    you disagree? you care more about the % change in your income than the actual amount? that’s retarded,

  23. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    how about, what were last year’s numbers? help to put this 10-15% business into context.

  24. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    how about, what were last year’s numbers? help to put this 10-15% business into context.

  25. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    how about, what were last year’s numbers? help to put this 10-15% business into context.

  26. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    how about, what were last year’s numbers? help to put this 10-15% business into context.

  27. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    how about, what were last year’s numbers? help to put this 10-15% business into context.

  28. Posted by Anonymous | January 18, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    I debated it but after consideration I thought comparing him to the wacko was ok. Had I involved any of the victims I think that would have been in bad taste.

  29. Posted by Anonymous | January 18, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    I debated it but after consideration I thought comparing him to the wacko was ok. Had I involved any of the victims I think that would have been in bad taste.

  30. Posted by Anonymous | January 18, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    I debated it but after consideration I thought comparing him to the wacko was ok. Had I involved any of the victims I think that would have been in bad taste.

  31. Posted by Anonymous | January 18, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    I debated it but after consideration I thought comparing him to the wacko was ok. Had I involved any of the victims I think that would have been in bad taste.

  32. Posted by Anal on Analysis | January 18, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    Or perhaps UBS employees…

    - Guy who thinks he’s smart

  33. Posted by Anal on Analysis | January 18, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    Or perhaps UBS employees…

    - Guy who thinks he’s smart

  34. Posted by Anal on Analysis | January 18, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    Or perhaps UBS employees…

    - Guy who thinks he’s smart

  35. Posted by Anal on Analysis | January 18, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    Or perhaps UBS employees…

    - Guy who thinks he’s smart

  36. Posted by Anal on Analysis | January 18, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    Or perhaps UBS employees…

    - Guy who thinks he’s smart

  37. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:08 PM

    Great! Now go back to fu(k!ng your sister…

  38. Posted by Anal_yst (no not really...) | January 18, 2011 at 7:10 PM

    O HAI!

  39. Posted by Anon | January 18, 2011 at 7:10 PM

    I find it hard to believe that the source of this quote is in the know given that 1st, 2nd and 3rd year analysts at JPM get paid in Q3, not in Q1 with everyone else.

  40. Posted by Anon | January 18, 2011 at 7:10 PM

    I find it hard to believe that the source of this quote is in the know given that 1st, 2nd and 3rd year analysts at JPM get paid in Q3, not in Q1 with everyone else.

  41. Posted by Anon | January 18, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    not sure why the 1/2/3 analyst thing is in there but as someone who got paid today, at JPM, I can tell you that the numbers are accurate.

  42. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:23 PM

    Fair point. Proceed.

  43. Posted by guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:24 PM

    Rule #1, HR must not operate by subversively questioning fact based anonymous tips to dealbreaker about compensation with lies, lies and more lies!

    Rule #2, The customer is always right

    http://www2.goldmansachs.com/our-firm/business-standards-committee/index.html

  44. Posted by CurrencyTrader | January 18, 2011 at 7:28 PM

    Ah yes so after months of your torment you reveal where you work eh? Does Jamie know that you fap under his desk late at night while slowly crying yourself to sleep?

  45. Posted by CurrencyTrader | January 18, 2011 at 7:28 PM

    Ah yes so after months of your torment you reveal where you work eh? Does Jamie know that you fap under his desk late at night while slowly crying yourself to sleep?

  46. Posted by CurrencyTrader | January 18, 2011 at 7:28 PM

    Ah yes so after months of your torment you reveal where you work eh? Does Jamie know that you fap under his desk late at night while slowly crying yourself to sleep?

  47. Posted by CurrencyTrader | January 18, 2011 at 7:28 PM

    Ah yes so after months of your torment you reveal where you work eh? Does Jamie know that you fap under his desk late at night while slowly crying yourself to sleep?

  48. Posted by GGGuest | January 18, 2011 at 7:32 PM

    well let’s do some basic math. if employee 1 has a bonus target of 100k, and employee 2 has a bonus target of 75k, what would be a way to provide one description for how both employees might get paid? If I could tell E1 that his salary his bonus is going down 15k, but that wouldn’t be the same number for E2…BUT if I said you’re both getting a 15% cut in bonus…it would be applicable to both, and each employee could get a ball park.

    -Rocket Scientist

  49. Posted by Tim Robbins | January 18, 2011 at 7:48 PM

    The corporations…they sit in their corporation buildings, acting all corporation-y, and they make money.

  50. Posted by Tim Robbins | January 18, 2011 at 7:48 PM

    The corporations…they sit in their corporation buildings, acting all corporation-y, and they make money.

  51. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:53 PM

    monkeyballs

  52. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:53 PM

    monkeyballs

  53. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:53 PM

    monkeyballs

  54. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:53 PM

    monkeyballs

  55. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:53 PM

    monkeyballs

  56. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:55 PM

    LOL, agreed, anon number one def came from JPM-HR.

  57. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:55 PM

    LOL, agreed, anon number one def came from JPM-HR.

  58. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:55 PM

    LOL, agreed, anon number one def came from JPM-HR.

  59. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:55 PM

    LOL, agreed, anon number one def came from JPM-HR.

  60. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:55 PM

    LOL, agreed, anon number one def came from JPM-HR.

  61. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:55 PM

    LOL, agreed, anon number one def came from JPM-HR.

  62. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:55 PM

    LOL, agreed, anon number one def came from JPM-HR.

  63. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:55 PM

    LOL, agreed, anon number one def came from JPM-HR.

  64. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 7:55 PM

    LOL, agreed, anon number one def came from JPM-HR.

  65. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 8:01 PM

    let’s do some basic math. if your bonus is 1k and it goes up 100% then you think you are better off than if your bonus is 100k and goes down to 85k?

    retarded.

  66. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 8:01 PM

    let’s do some basic math. if your bonus is 1k and it goes up 100% then you think you are better off than if your bonus is 100k and goes down to 85k?

    retarded.

  67. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 8:01 PM

    let’s do some basic math. if your bonus is 1k and it goes up 100% then you think you are better off than if your bonus is 100k and goes down to 85k?

    retarded.

  68. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 8:01 PM

    let’s do some basic math. if your bonus is 1k and it goes up 100% then you think you are better off than if your bonus is 100k and goes down to 85k?

    retarded.

  69. Posted by Tinfoil Hat Maker | January 18, 2011 at 8:04 PM

    Tinfoil hat. Get one.

  70. Posted by Tinfoil Hat Maker | January 18, 2011 at 8:04 PM

    Tinfoil hat. Get one.

  71. Posted by Tinfoil Hat Maker | January 18, 2011 at 8:04 PM

    Tinfoil hat. Get one.

  72. Posted by Tinfoil Hat Maker | January 18, 2011 at 8:04 PM

    Tinfoil hat. Get one.

  73. Posted by AlessandroMachi | January 18, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    Thank you rocket scientist. The bonus amount has already reached obscene levels, so knowing the percentage of the reduction lets us know if our banksters are still in an obscene state, which it appears they are.

    If the banksters read this, they may think, “we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t”.
    To which I would say, no, you’re damned for not doing enough.

    lets not forget those bankster bonuses maybe being used to seed the stock market so us main street suckers feel like we are losing out if we don’t get back in.

  74. Posted by AlessandroMachi | January 18, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    Thank you rocket scientist. The bonus amount has already reached obscene levels, so knowing the percentage of the reduction lets us know if our banksters are still in an obscene state, which it appears they are.

    If the banksters read this, they may think, “we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t”.
    To which I would say, no, you’re damned for not doing enough.

    lets not forget those bankster bonuses maybe being used to seed the stock market so us main street suckers feel like we are losing out if we don’t get back in.

  75. Posted by AlessandroMachi | January 18, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    Thank you rocket scientist. The bonus amount has already reached obscene levels, so knowing the percentage of the reduction lets us know if our banksters are still in an obscene state, which it appears they are.

    If the banksters read this, they may think, “we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t”.
    To which I would say, no, you’re damned for not doing enough.

    lets not forget those bankster bonuses maybe being used to seed the stock market so us main street suckers feel like we are losing out if we don’t get back in.

  76. Posted by AlessandroMachi | January 18, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    Thank you rocket scientist. The bonus amount has already reached obscene levels, so knowing the percentage of the reduction lets us know if our banksters are still in an obscene state, which it appears they are.

    If the banksters read this, they may think, “we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t”.
    To which I would say, no, you’re damned for not doing enough.

    lets not forget those bankster bonuses maybe being used to seed the stock market so us main street suckers feel like we are losing out if we don’t get back in.

  77. Posted by AlessandroMachi | January 18, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    Thank you rocket scientist. The bonus amount has already reached obscene levels, so knowing the percentage of the reduction lets us know if our banksters are still in an obscene state, which it appears they are.

    If the banksters read this, they may think, “we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t”.
    To which I would say, no, you’re damned for not doing enough.

    lets not forget those bankster bonuses maybe being used to seed the stock market so us main street suckers feel like we are losing out if we don’t get back in.

  78. Posted by AlessandroMachi | January 18, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    Thank you rocket scientist. The bonus amount has already reached obscene levels, so knowing the percentage of the reduction lets us know if our banksters are still in an obscene state, which it appears they are.

    If the banksters read this, they may think, “we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t”.
    To which I would say, no, you’re damned for not doing enough.

    lets not forget those bankster bonuses maybe being used to seed the stock market so us main street suckers feel like we are losing out if we don’t get back in.

  79. Posted by AlessandroMachi | January 18, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    Thank you rocket scientist. The bonus amount has already reached obscene levels, so knowing the percentage of the reduction lets us know if our banksters are still in an obscene state, which it appears they are.

    If the banksters read this, they may think, “we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t”.
    To which I would say, no, you’re damned for not doing enough.

    lets not forget those bankster bonuses maybe being used to seed the stock market so us main street suckers feel like we are losing out if we don’t get back in.

  80. Posted by AlessandroMachi | January 18, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    Thank you rocket scientist. The bonus amount has already reached obscene levels, so knowing the percentage of the reduction lets us know if our banksters are still in an obscene state, which it appears they are.

    If the banksters read this, they may think, “we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t”.
    To which I would say, no, you’re damned for not doing enough.

    lets not forget those bankster bonuses maybe being used to seed the stock market so us main street suckers feel like we are losing out if we don’t get back in.

  81. Posted by AlessandroMachi | January 18, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    Thank you rocket scientist. The bonus amount has already reached obscene levels, so knowing the percentage of the reduction lets us know if our banksters are still in an obscene state, which it appears they are.

    If the banksters read this, they may think, “we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t”.
    To which I would say, no, you’re damned for not doing enough.

    lets not forget those bankster bonuses maybe being used to seed the stock market so us main street suckers feel like we are losing out if we don’t get back in.

  82. Posted by AlessandroMachi | January 18, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    Thank you rocket scientist. The bonus amount has already reached obscene levels, so knowing the percentage of the reduction lets us know if our banksters are still in an obscene state, which it appears they are.

    If the banksters read this, they may think, “we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t”.
    To which I would say, no, you’re damned for not doing enough.

    lets not forget those bankster bonuses maybe being used to seed the stock market so us main street suckers feel like we are losing out if we don’t get back in.

  83. Posted by AlessandroMachi | January 18, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    Thank you rocket scientist. The bonus amount has already reached obscene levels, so knowing the percentage of the reduction lets us know if our banksters are still in an obscene state, which it appears they are.

    If the banksters read this, they may think, “we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t”.
    To which I would say, no, you’re damned for not doing enough.

    lets not forget those bankster bonuses maybe being used to seed the stock market so us main street suckers feel like we are losing out if we don’t get back in.

  84. Posted by AlessandroMachi | January 18, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    Thank you rocket scientist. The bonus amount has already reached obscene levels, so knowing the percentage of the reduction lets us know if our banksters are still in an obscene state, which it appears they are.

    If the banksters read this, they may think, “we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t”.
    To which I would say, no, you’re damned for not doing enough.

    lets not forget those bankster bonuses maybe being used to seed the stock market so us main street suckers feel like we are losing out if we don’t get back in.

  85. Posted by Anon | January 18, 2011 at 8:08 PM

    Don’t call me sport, pal.

  86. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 8:08 PM

    Despite your obscene efforts to sound professional, your grammar and capitalization has witnessed a clear reduction by the end of your comment.

  87. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 8:08 PM

    Despite your obscene efforts to sound professional, your grammar and capitalization has witnessed a clear reduction by the end of your comment.

  88. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 8:08 PM

    Despite your obscene efforts to sound professional, your grammar and capitalization has witnessed a clear reduction by the end of your comment.

  89. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 8:08 PM

    Despite your obscene efforts to sound professional, your grammar and capitalization has witnessed a clear reduction by the end of your comment.

  90. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 8:08 PM

    Despite your obscene efforts to sound professional, your grammar and capitalization has witnessed a clear reduction by the end of your comment.

  91. Posted by Everyone is now dumber | January 18, 2011 at 8:09 PM

    Declaring a blood libel? The guy can barely communicate via written word…

    Likely he watched most of two episodes of Olbermann and a grainy youtube conspiracy video, took a big huff of glue and set to the keyboard.

  92. Posted by Everyone is now dumber | January 18, 2011 at 8:09 PM

    Declaring a blood libel? The guy can barely communicate via written word…

    Likely he watched most of two episodes of Olbermann and a grainy youtube conspiracy video, took a big huff of glue and set to the keyboard.

  93. Posted by disqusfrustus | January 18, 2011 at 8:10 PM

    test

  94. Posted by disqusfrustus | January 18, 2011 at 8:10 PM

    test

  95. Posted by EveryoneIsNowDumber | January 18, 2011 at 8:17 PM

    Alessandro, buddy, take a play off.

    You’e linguistically capable at a remedial level, undermining your attempt at gravitas. Further your grasp of finance is halluciogenic at best.

  96. Posted by Alessandromachiisanidiot | January 18, 2011 at 8:27 PM

    He could have also watched Wall Street 2…

  97. Posted by Style Editor | January 18, 2011 at 8:28 PM

    You eloquently hammered home your cogent argument with your repeated use of the term “bankster”, but I think it would have carried even more weight if you had thrown in a “fat cat” or two.

  98. Posted by Guest-o-Rama | January 18, 2011 at 8:29 PM

    Fail. Permission to re-try denied.

  99. Posted by GGGuest | January 18, 2011 at 8:49 PM

    Mr. Machi,

    This site is a site for Finance types. The information provided is intended for a Finance audience. We receive the bonuses, so we care about how our colleagues look in comparison to us. If we wanted an opinion from someone who didn’t know anything about Finance, we would ask. However in this instance we did not. You can cry and complain that we get paid too much all you want. It will not change the status quo, nor will it get you recognition for starting a crusade (because let’s be honest, at this point you’re just jumping on the band wagon). If you would like to effect a change in policy, I suggest writing your local Politburo, and bring the iron curtain down on the United States. Until then, your comments will receive a similar reaction, on this site, as you have previously seen. Thank you.

  100. Posted by Ubssucks | January 18, 2011 at 9:03 PM

    I work at UBS… I’ll be happy with 20% less than JPM got last year. Our firm sucks dick

  101. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 9:05 PM

    okay chief

  102. Posted by AlessandroMachiisRetarded | January 18, 2011 at 9:06 PM

    Alessandro: I would like you to actually try explaining what investment banking is. It appears you don’t understand the difference between investment banking and your local Chase teller. Congratulations on properly using a Google News alert to land here, but you really don’t belong.
    http://alessandromachi.blogspot.com

  103. Posted by AlessandroMachi | January 18, 2011 at 9:15 PM

    Actually, I got here by way of http://www.swarmthebanks.com, http://www.parallelforeclosure.com and http://www.unfairforeclosures.com

    It’s pretty clear how clueless you are at the damage banksters have done, continue to do, and will continue to do until they are thrown under the bus.

    On the other hand, some of you responders don’t know the difference between percentage and actual amount of a bonus, so, just what grade did you get to?

    This reply should go after the stupid remarks, not before. Oh wait a minute, never mind.

  104. Posted by AlessandroMachi | January 18, 2011 at 9:21 PM

    So, if Bank A gives out 500,000 dollar bonuses, and Bank B gives out 250,000 dollar bonuses, You think Bank B should what, not reduce their bonuses because they were already less?

  105. Posted by AlessandroMachi | January 18, 2011 at 9:26 PM

    What is investment banking? At Chase Bank, the divisions that make the most money are the ones that buy distressed properties. Look it up. While some divisions at chase bank appear to lose money, those divisions create opportunities for the investment bankers to buy properties that become distressed because of Chase Bank’s actions.

    Oh yeah, Chase Bank has the biggest stake of any bank in British Spilloleum.

  106. Posted by GGGuest | January 18, 2011 at 9:28 PM

    “On the other hand, some of you responders don’t know the difference between percentage and actual amount of a bonus, so, just what grade did you get to?”

    No we get it. You want to know what they’re getting paid so you can turn around and crucify them. What you don’t get is that we don’t care about what you think. We care about how bonuses are year over year. A percentage estimation is fine for the intended audience.

  107. Posted by Kenneth Feinberg | January 18, 2011 at 9:31 PM

    You want numbers? I’ll give you numbers. Salary + (2009 Bonus*.80) = $249,999.99 for Sr. Employees. Salary+(2009 Bonus*.90) = $249,999.99 for all other employees not on a bonus system Salary = $249,999.99. And not one penney more!

  108. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 9:31 PM

    Since when did Chase ever pay big bonuses?

  109. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    Investment bankers buy distressed properties for and from their respective firms? That’s news to me

  110. Posted by guest | January 18, 2011 at 9:37 PM
  111. Posted by Concerned Guest | January 18, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    I’m concerned you’re going to hurt yourself – you should probably take a break and go back to designing special effects for commercials for a while. If you insist on continuing this, you should probably do some sort of interwebs search (this “Google” thing comes to mind) for a definition of investment banking. It won’t be complete, but it should be a decent starting point for you.

    If you do start to feel woozy, I might suggest you consult with Dr. Mark Klein, M.D. You and he would get along well.

  112. Posted by $ vs % | January 18, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    “At Chase Bank, the divisions that make the most money are the ones that buy distressed properties.”

    Do you mean the most profitable, or that generate the most revenue? Put another way, do they “make the most money” on an absolute dollar basis or on a percentage basis? And, actually, rather than me looking it up, I would prefer you provide a verifiable citation as backup for your statement, please.

  113. Posted by $ vs % | January 18, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    “At Chase Bank, the divisions that make the most money are the ones that buy distressed properties.”

    Do you mean the most profitable, or that generate the most revenue? Put another way, do they “make the most money” on an absolute dollar basis or on a percentage basis? And, actually, rather than me looking it up, I would prefer you provide a verifiable citation as backup for your statement, please.

  114. Posted by $ vs % | January 18, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    “At Chase Bank, the divisions that make the most money are the ones that buy distressed properties.”

    Do you mean the most profitable, or that generate the most revenue? Put another way, do they “make the most money” on an absolute dollar basis or on a percentage basis? And, actually, rather than me looking it up, I would prefer you provide a verifiable citation as backup for your statement, please.

  115. Posted by $ vs % | January 18, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    “At Chase Bank, the divisions that make the most money are the ones that buy distressed properties.”

    Do you mean the most profitable, or that generate the most revenue? Put another way, do they “make the most money” on an absolute dollar basis or on a percentage basis? And, actually, rather than me looking it up, I would prefer you provide a verifiable citation as backup for your statement, please.

  116. Posted by Spammy | January 18, 2011 at 9:44 PM

    Fuck, now I feel guilty about my seven figure bonus. I’ll be returning it now.

    - Chase Bankster

  117. Posted by Spammy | January 18, 2011 at 9:44 PM

    Fuck, now I feel guilty about my seven figure bonus. I’ll be returning it now.

    - Chase Bankster

  118. Posted by Spammy | January 18, 2011 at 9:44 PM

    Fuck, now I feel guilty about my seven figure bonus. I’ll be returning it now.

    - Chase Bankster

  119. Posted by Nedward26 | January 18, 2011 at 9:47 PM

    You’re welcome shareholders

    -JD

  120. Posted by Ab3331c | January 18, 2011 at 9:48 PM

    Can someone just post the ranges for first second and third year associates instead of this bs talk which nobody really cares about.

  121. Posted by GGGuest | January 18, 2011 at 9:52 PM

    In no way does investment banking have anything to do with credit cards, home valuation, nor buying distressed properties. What you are thinking of is Credit Card Divisions, Lending Divisions, and some possibly Commercial Banking divisions of RETAIL BANKS. Chase Bank is a retail bank, not an investment bank. JPMorgan Investment Bank is an investment bank, however it does none of what you described above. The “Banksters” term that you picked up from the media is used to describe something completely different than what you have written above.

  122. Posted by Chevy Chase | January 18, 2011 at 9:54 PM

    I was told there would be no math

  123. Posted by CurrencyTrader | January 18, 2011 at 9:54 PM

    Hey Alessandro, I’m the only one who is an asshole and annoying around here so get the fuck out. And because you used the dumbest word in the history of Modern man, Bankster, go ahead throw yourself out of your office window Die Hard style.

    -Guy who not a Bankster but is a fan of their work

  124. Posted by CurrencyTrader | January 18, 2011 at 9:54 PM

    Hey Alessandro, I’m the only one who is an asshole and annoying around here so get the fuck out. And because you used the dumbest word in the history of Modern man, Bankster, go ahead throw yourself out of your office window Die Hard style.

    -Guy who not a Bankster but is a fan of their work

  125. Posted by Johnnyrocks36 | January 18, 2011 at 9:56 PM

    Price is Wrong Bitch

  126. Posted by Johnnyrocks36 | January 18, 2011 at 9:56 PM

    Price is Wrong Bitch

  127. Posted by DrummersHaveBigDicks | January 18, 2011 at 10:05 PM

    Anyone else think that “Bankster and the Fat Cats” would be a decent name for a punk band?

    No? Just me? Damn.

  128. Posted by DrummersHaveBigDicks | January 18, 2011 at 10:05 PM

    Anyone else think that “Bankster and the Fat Cats” would be a decent name for a punk band?

    No? Just me? Damn.

  129. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 10:06 PM

    Sorry, UBS-er. The economy’s picking up. Hopefully you can escape soon.

  130. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 10:06 PM

    Sorry, UBS-er. The economy’s picking up. Hopefully you can escape soon.

  131. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 10:06 PM

    Sorry, UBS-er. The economy’s picking up. Hopefully you can escape soon.

  132. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 10:12 PM

    Whatever it is, it’s more than I’m getting.

  133. Posted by rahodeb | January 18, 2011 at 10:12 PM

    I tried to “Like” your comment, but my brain wouldn’t let me, what with you being CurrencyTrader and all.

  134. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 10:13 PM

    Let me help you; this is where you meant to go: http://huffingtonpost.com

  135. Posted by B2B MD | January 18, 2011 at 10:13 PM

    I always thought that Moral Hazzard would be a great band name.

  136. Posted by GGGuest | January 18, 2011 at 10:17 PM

    Lloyd and the Golden Scrots, is my band’s name

    -LB

  137. Posted by wiseguy | January 18, 2011 at 10:17 PM

    Hear ~$125K for 1st year assoc (with 20% in equity bonus) and a 20% raise in base

  138. Posted by ZZzz | January 18, 2011 at 10:18 PM

    Which is one of the greatest movies ever, and has a hilarious Eli Walch cameo!

  139. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 10:20 PM

    +1

  140. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 10:21 PM

    what did you make last year? you’re making 10-15% less. you’re welcome in advance, imbecile.

  141. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2011 at 10:21 PM

    what did you make last year? you’re making 10-15% less. you’re welcome in advance, imbecile.

  142. Posted by ZZzz | January 18, 2011 at 10:21 PM

    he has a twitter account now.

  143. Posted by ZZzz | January 18, 2011 at 10:21 PM

    he has a twitter account now.

  144. Posted by ZZzz | January 18, 2011 at 10:21 PM

    he has a twitter account now.

  145. Posted by Brah | January 18, 2011 at 10:29 PM

    @ Guest – Bonuses were up 50% this year for Chase Card Services employees after recently-imposed debit card maximization fees resulted in 25% YOY top-line group for that unit.

  146. Posted by ??? | January 18, 2011 at 10:36 PM

    Further, a cursory glance at his website pretty much yields a portrait of a solitary man watching/commenting on TV shows in a messy apartment that may or may not contain a chicken

    http://www.alexlogic.com/

  147. Posted by PPD | January 18, 2011 at 10:45 PM

    http://www.linkedin.com/in/alessandromachi

    Regional emmy award, 2001. Pretending to understand finance from the ass-end of the san fernando valley: priceless.

  148. Posted by Mel Brooks | January 18, 2011 at 10:51 PM

    the issue that most of you seem to ignore is that the component of base to bonus has changed significantly over the past 12-24 months for most banks. to simply say “year over year bonuses are down 15%” is misleading, particularly if base salaries are up 25-50%. all in comp is the real metric we are interested in.

  149. Posted by Chance M C Bachelier | January 18, 2011 at 11:06 PM

    Why in the world would any non Director level banker take ANY amount in “equity bonus”.

    Fuck all, they might as well give you 1,000 NY lottery tickets instead of said “equity bonus”.

    You actually have a higher expected value of ending up in the money depending on the prevailing jackpot!

    Chance Monte Carlo Bachelier

  150. Posted by Predictable | January 18, 2011 at 11:26 PM

    I’ll return it for you.

  151. Posted by GGGuest | January 18, 2011 at 11:28 PM

    I think realistically total comp is probably level year over year. Bonuses are down but salaries are up. Although I really don’t have any hard evidence, it’s all second hand information.

  152. Posted by Investment Banker | January 18, 2011 at 11:38 PM

    Well, it’s quitting time. Off to club seals in the Artic that have become trapped in the oil I spilled…

  153. Posted by Investment Banker | January 18, 2011 at 11:38 PM

    Well, it’s quitting time. Off to club seals in the Artic that have become trapped in the oil I spilled…

  154. Posted by Investment Banker | January 18, 2011 at 11:38 PM

    Well, it’s quitting time. Off to club seals in the Artic that have become trapped in the oil I spilled…

  155. Posted by underpaid | January 18, 2011 at 11:39 PM

    At the risk of being laughed at, I will share my actual JPMorgan #’s (non-NYC non-coverage, IB employee). 2009 base was $105,000. Bonus was ~$42,000. 2010 base was bumped to $120,000. Bonus decreased to ~$30,000. Overall comp about flat. Our particular group had a moderate down year, compared to 2009. I am a “middle of the road” performer. So there you go….digest.

  156. Posted by Kato | January 19, 2011 at 12:47 AM

    those numbers dont make sense. what product/vertical are you in?

  157. Posted by Guest | January 19, 2011 at 1:15 AM

    “Why in the world would any non Director level banker take ANY amount in “equity bonus”.”

    I’ll take “they don’t give you a choice” for $500, Alex.

  158. Posted by Guest | January 19, 2011 at 2:02 AM

    So, when they say ‘down 10-15% in bonus’, how do we adjust for the fact that salaries were raised? Can we please get total comp numbers, apples-to-apples?

  159. Posted by Little Joe | January 19, 2011 at 2:06 AM

    Back off, Hoss.

  160. Posted by AMthingy | January 19, 2011 at 3:05 AM

    asset management bonus +5-10%, plus increase in base.

  161. Posted by guest | January 19, 2011 at 4:31 AM

    So what’s the current base for 1st/2nd/3rd year Associate at JPM?

  162. Posted by TYL | January 19, 2011 at 4:55 AM

    “Example, change terms on existing credit card accounts and be THE ONLY BANK to not allow opt out, then contaminate the new credit card reform bill act ….”

    Cancel the fxcking card if you don’t like the new terms you fucking idiot.

  163. Posted by Taylor | January 19, 2011 at 5:04 AM

    exactly how does securitizing mortgages reduces local economy to shreds?

  164. Posted by Lll | January 19, 2011 at 5:07 AM

    I got f**ked that’s all I know..

  165. Posted by guest | January 19, 2011 at 5:13 AM

    I was thinking the same thing. The actual securitizing has no effect.

    Perhaps Alessandro is referring to flooding the local housing market with capital to the subprime market, artificially increasing the value of homes while creating mortgages that the banks can then securitize and sell. When the subprime crisis hits, then there are foreclosures and bankruptcies. But this situation requires more than I-bank participation.

  166. Posted by Guest | January 19, 2011 at 5:46 AM

    While it was fun bashing on the retard who confused credit cards with investment banking, can any of the JPM guys chime in and give us actual numbers (ideally for associates) for base and bonus?

  167. Posted by WANGSTER | January 19, 2011 at 6:51 AM

    4TH YR ASC = ALL IN COMP FLAT + 20% DEFERRED EQUITY

    ANY MORE FKING QUESTIONS????

  168. Posted by Irish.Curse | January 19, 2011 at 10:46 AM

    ’4th year associate’… promoted to ’5th year’? all caps, and, I presume, without having gone to Wharton? you win the first ‘Spirit of Alessandro’ award, sir.

  169. Posted by straight shooter | January 19, 2011 at 2:48 PM

    Flat all in comp is correct. Everybody increased base last year, so bonus is lower only due to that. Surprisingly JPM raised base more than last yr. i.e. third yr associates last yr got 160k and incoming third yr associates will get 175k. Given they managed expectations down, the outcome is actually pleasant.

  170. Posted by underpaid | January 19, 2011 at 3:08 PM

    commodities

  171. Posted by Society For Social Change | January 19, 2011 at 5:00 PM

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    Our Organization “Society for Social Change” provides resources for at-risk families, particularly youth who are the focal point of our services.

    You or your company can assist us in our efforts to help youth reach their potential by breaking down some of the barriers that impede their progress in becoming a productive member of their community.

    We invite you to join us in our vision to help this under served population. Two Thirds of our organization are volunteers who have a personal stake in the Community; that is, they live in close proximity to the population they serve.

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  172. Posted by Guest | January 19, 2011 at 5:35 PM

    Or The guy from Delware

  173. Posted by Serious question | January 19, 2011 at 6:57 PM

    More importantly can the bunnies still max your JP Morgan Investment Banking debit card?

  174. Posted by Serious question | January 19, 2011 at 6:57 PM

    More importantly can the bunnies still max your JP Morgan Investment Banking debit card?

  175. Posted by Rj | January 19, 2011 at 7:12 PM

    Anyone known 1st year stub, 2nd year, and 3rd year analyst bonuses in S&T? Thanks.

  176. Posted by GGGuest | January 19, 2011 at 9:14 PM

    2nd year associate, base from 125 to 150, bonus 200, 20% stock

  177. Posted by GGGuest | January 19, 2011 at 9:14 PM

    2nd year associate, base from 125 to 150, bonus 200, 20% stock

  178. Posted by IB_assoc3 | January 19, 2011 at 10:38 PM

    any other data points in IB coverage on associate/vp base and bonuses?

  179. Posted by Dude | January 25, 2011 at 5:11 AM

    any one got numbers on equity research and/or commodity research?

  180. Posted by Nate | January 26, 2011 at 2:59 AM

    Any numbers on credit research 3-yr associate/1-yr VP level?

  181. Posted by Guest | November 26, 2011 at 11:11 PM

    Where are the comments

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