• 10 Jan 2011 at 1:44 PM

Charlie Gasparino: JPMorgan Bonuses Will Be ‘Skimpy’

By Bess Levin

As we mentioned last month, bonuses at JPMorgan will be down “about 10-15 percent across the board in IB.” Why then, do you keep reading stories about ‘record bonuses’? It’s called division. Charlie Gasparino breaks down the math.

“JPMorgan is going to announce bonuses next week, the week of January 17th. From what we understand they are going to be down, particularly in the Investment Bank. Overall the bonus pool has gone up at JPMorgan and at other firms. That why you keep hearing about record bonuses. But there are more people to spread across those bonuses…Overall, they are going to be somewhat skimpy.”

Chaz also cautions that non-JPMorgan employees should be taking notes., you On when JPMorgan’s bonuses will be announced:

“We could cover every firm or we could cover one firm kind of is the example for the way the rest of Wall Street is going to go, and that’s JP Morgan.”

Skimpy Bonuses On Wall Street? [FBN]

Comments (23)

  1. 1
    Posted by Gozer | January 10, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    Skimpy, kinda like Skippy – my dog’s favorite brand

    -DK

  2. 2
    Posted by Guessst | January 10, 2011 at 7:16 PM

    Because it’s not cheating if it’s YOUR dog.

  3. 3
    Posted by Guest | January 10, 2011 at 7:22 PM

    Fibonacci, DaVinci, Bayes, Gauss,…Gasparino.

  4. 4
    Posted by Lats | January 10, 2011 at 7:27 PM

    I see what you did there. Brutal, pessimistic, honest.

  5. 5
    Posted by AlessandroMachi | January 10, 2011 at 7:32 PM

    Please, lets not insult dogs.

  6. 6
    Posted by Anonymous | January 10, 2011 at 7:32 PM

    If Credit Suisse receives tantric bonuses then UBS receives bukkake bonuses.

  7. 7
    Posted by maria | January 10, 2011 at 7:41 PM

    http://anothergift.blogspot.com/

  8. 8
    Posted by Get it? | January 10, 2011 at 7:46 PM

    What, is UBS “accidently” shoving a portion of their bonuses up the recipients nose?

  9. 9
    Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | January 10, 2011 at 7:46 PM

    Skimpy. Skimpy like the shorts I where to Equinox while I’m blasting out a new 1-rep max on the squat rack.

    -CG

  10. 10
    Posted by Anonymous | January 10, 2011 at 7:47 PM

    That’s totally inappropriate. It’s lewd, vesivius, salacious, outrageous!

    -J. Chiles

  11. 11
    Posted by Equinox Towel Boy | January 10, 2011 at 7:59 PM

    We all know “blasting out a new 1-rep max on the squat rack” is just a euphemism for giving HJs in the steam room, Chuckles.

  12. 12
    Posted by Equinox Towel Boy | January 10, 2011 at 7:59 PM

    We all know “blasting out a new 1-rep max on the squat rack” is just a euphemism for giving HJs in the steam room, Chuckles.

  13. 13
    Posted by Anonymous | January 10, 2011 at 8:01 PM

    that’s just disgusting, you should be ashamed of yourself

  14. 14
    Posted by Anonymous | January 10, 2011 at 8:01 PM

    that’s just disgusting, you should be ashamed of yourself

  15. 15
    Posted by Guest | January 10, 2011 at 8:10 PM

    Keeping your job is the new bonus.

  16. 16
    Posted by Guest | January 10, 2011 at 8:10 PM

    Keeping your job is the new bonus.

  17. 17
    Posted by tits | January 10, 2011 at 9:07 PM

    2 gasbag’s one cup,

  18. 18
    Posted by tits | January 10, 2011 at 9:07 PM

    2 gasbag’s one cup,

  19. 19
    Posted by Judgehmales | January 10, 2011 at 10:17 PM

    You’ll get nothing and like it.

  20. 20
    Posted by Guest | January 10, 2011 at 11:08 PM

    What are third year Arizona Representative numbers?

  21. 21
    Posted by guestguest | January 11, 2011 at 12:19 AM

    wow. you’re a disgusting human being.

  22. 22
    Posted by Anon | January 11, 2011 at 12:19 AM

    kill yourself.

  23. 23
    Posted by Johnsmith | January 22, 2011 at 12:50 AM

    wall street is dead

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