Time was, if you were naming a hedge fund, you either went with some obscure reference, historical or otherwise, intended to demonstrate just how much of a pretentious asshole you are (PA’s make the best money managers), your initials, as way of sending the message ‘I run this house,’ or some sort of word that the evoked the idea of power and machismo, where investor capital is protected by a moat. Today brings a fourth option for those playing the name game, i.e. the most difficult task of opening your own shop.
And it comes by way of Long Island, where three guys have started a firm called the ‘Genius Hedge Fund.’ Sure, there are already existing hedge funds employing geniuses, and some might suggest that this was a brag, but we’re going to assume it was Alex, Victor and AJ were merely being descriptive. And given the investor demand for more transparency from the industry, we’re betting this is the start of a truth in advertising movement vis-a-vis naming your fund. Planning on dicking over your clients by not letting them redeem when they need the liquidity and/or borrowing their money to pay personal taxes? We’re Gonna Screw You Good Capital Management. Firm run by geniuses, not unlike the boys from Long Island? Mind Of A Scientist Management. Probably not gonna do much in the way of returns but stand out for having a founder with a cock like a Burmese python? Baby’s Arm LLC. You get the idea.
New Hedge Fund On Long Island [Newsday via BI]
Genius Hedge Fund [GHF]


Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.
Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.
Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.
Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.
Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.
Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.
Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.
Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.
Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.
Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.
Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.
I need a time machine.
-P. Falcone
I need a time machine.
-P. Falcone
I need a time machine.
-P. Falcone
I need a time machine.
-P. Falcone
I need a time machine.
-P. Falcone
I need a time machine.
-P. Falcone
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
“The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”
If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.
- Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons
potato, potahto
potato, potahto
potato, potahto
potato, potahto
potato, potahto
potato, potahto
potato, potahto
potato, potahto
potato, potahto
potato, potahto
potato, potahto
potato, potahto
potato, potahto
potato, potahto
potato, potahto
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
-DQ
potatoE
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potatoE
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http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
http://www.geniushedgefund.com/Marketing.pdf
hey!
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Apparently, supergood chess players. So they can hustle a few bucks at various NYC parks if this whole Genius H.F. thing does not work out.
“His entrepreneurial skills has given him the ability to foresee other businesses to success.” Smart grammar will not be buying this one.
You’re missing an “S,” idiot. And I would be really hesitant to name my employer, particularly if it’s Dairy Queen.
-LEH Quant
shall we play a game?
-W.O.P.R.
that clarium spinout Grandmaster Capital Management is pretty lame too.
That’s the biggest load of marketing retarded-fuckspeak I’ve seen all day, though the day’s technically not yet over.
That’s the biggest load of marketing retarded-fuckspeak I’ve seen all day, though the day’s technically not yet over.
That’s the biggest load of marketing retarded-fuckspeak I’ve seen all day, though the day’s technically not yet over.
i hear they pull a lot of business in Alabama and South Carolina
i hear they pull a lot of business in Alabama and South Carolina
i hear they pull a lot of business in Alabama and South Carolina
Oh, and based on the now-added picture, they had at least one other valid name they could have chosen: “Expanding Foreheads, LLC”
Oh, and based on the now-added picture, they had at least one other valid name they could have chosen: “Expanding Foreheads, LLC”
Oh, and based on the now-added picture, they had at least one other valid name they could have chosen: “Expanding Foreheads, LLC”
No big deal, we’ve been doing this for ages.
-GSAM
No big deal, we’ve been doing this for ages.
-GSAM
No big deal, we’ve been doing this for ages.
-GSAM
Serious question- wouldn’t excellent backgammon skills be more relevant to money management than chess skills?
I missed getting into MENSA by just 1 point. They said, “The point is Shecky, you’re just not smart enough!”
I studied life once, then I stopped smoking pot and graduated.
Day not over. Go to their web page…it gets even better.
I love how the strategy is basically short vol/premium collection.
I bet this is a one-stop shop kind of place… Service providers include:
PB: Genius Securities LLC
Custodian: Genius Sachs LLC
TPA: Genius Fund Services LLC
Auditor: Genius Auditors LLP
No concerns, no concerns…
These guys are going to have to really ramp up their fund raising efforts if/when taxes on fictional… er, carried interest is taxed as ordinary income.
Especially since the website itself would seem to be a violation of securities laws, since there doesn’t seem to be any mechanism to prevent non-qualified investors from accessing the data…
You struck gold with another good name: Pretentious A$$holes Hedge Fund
where do you get off writing things like “a cock like a burmese python”….for petes sake have some class woman…..you kids today like to think you are so liberated…….makes me sick
more like rahtards. who puts up model returns on a open website? sec folk are big fans of db btw.
more like rahtards. who puts up model returns on a open website? sec folk are big fans of db btw.
You’re fucking out!
You’re fucking out!
You’re fucking out!
This guy struck gold with a macho, historic last name. Jim Warr, CEO Warr International, and a sweet web address http://www.jimwarr.com/, to go with it.
http://www.statesman.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/austin/theticker/entries/2011/01/07/state_authorities_seize_austin.html
Cue the SEC…3…2…1
Annapurna Fund
ALEX RABINOVICH: Persuasive, confident manner coupled with innovative suggestions and ability to find solutions in any situation. Known for a unique ability to establish and sustain positive relationships with enterprises, executives and clients internationally. Alex is regarded as not only as a worthy adversary but a team builder, using his logical levelheaded approach to overcome challenges; finding ways to bring various assets into harmony.
VICTOR PLOTKIN: Victor is a scholar of life, his knowledge and affinity for historical novels offers a timeline of vision and comprehension unmatched by all but the most committed elite.A highly successful trader, Victor is always the calculating master chessman. His many awards and accolades provide only a small demonstration of his caliber and drive for excellence.
AJ CARO: Mr. Caro’s out-of-the-box thinking and visionary leadership landed him on the Top 40 Under 40 Rising Stars list, compiled by Long Island Business News. He was honored at the 2005 Inspirational Ball for his achievements and inspiration to others. His entrepreneurial skills has given him the ability to foresee other businesses to success.
Hocken, Nordberg and I visited their offices.
After introductions, as well as telling them who we were, I said “perhaps you’ll show me to your oil lamp that when rubbed produces a genius in a puff of smoke to give you tips on market direction and wealth creation?” They looked a little confused, but that is what I expected.
“How many wishes do you get? Who among you is “Major Nelson? Do you ever dream of genius with the light brown hair?” I watched as they furrowed their brows like an oil trader getting a table dance from a lactose intolerant dancer.
I looked them in the eye and said, “Don’t play dumb with us. We invented that game.”
-Sgt. Frank Drebin
Detective Lieutenant
SEC Squad
http://libn.com/video/2010/12/17/chess-brings-geniuses-together/
I recall a pink sheets market maker whose name was Schafft, Snook, & Kahn. Certainly an appropriate name for someone in the business!
Are DE Shaw jokes still in play?
-Guy who finally got hired, and has this blocked at work.
golf clap
The SEC is a frickin’ joke. SEC big fans of ladyboy porn websites too.
That is actually a pretty decent strategy.
Agreed – it pays my bills.
Dearest Me:
Congratulations on being hired! What a great sadness though to learn Dealbreaker has been blocked where you work. I feel certain that Dealbreaker (or transcripts from it) is read by CEOs, CIOs, CFOs, COOs, treasurers, risk managers, government regulators and agents, traders, marketers, originators, brokers, wealth managers, hedge fund personnel, middle and back office worker bees and others that would give you the hives as well as a joke writer for a certain late night talk show, Hollywood screenwriters, newspaper people of any worth, politicians and their staff and college students.
The DE Shaw jokes are still in play but not as frequently as some of the other joke memes among the commentariat. As you well know, a firm in the business of wooing and soliciting others’ money with promises of above normal returns or “alpha” must indicate how it is different from other firms in the same field. Sometimes alleged IQ status is presented. Are the DE Shaw personnel “alpha romeos”?
We need a longer tenor (that’s what the operatic soprano said!) in order to tell. Your Joke Briefer recalls a certain energy marketing firm out of Omaha –and later Kansas City– that in and around 2001 had a website with a link to its “intellectual capital” (meaning personnel) and when one clicked upon that link to “intellectual capital” a wallpaper screen image of no less than Albert Einstein appeared with contacts and bios of said “intellectual capital”. Because your Joke Briefer knew some of the people at said firm, it took your Joke Briefer 3 or 4 weeks for his torn abdomen to heal from his hard laughter after seeing the employees images and bios being visually associated with the supra-intellect of the man who deduced gravity can bend light. Interestingly, after the Kansas City nee Omaha firm closed up shop after an alleged fistfight between family controlling members over some troubling financial issues, some of the “geniuses” there allegedly were eventually employed by the firm you mention.
The DE Shaw jokes started because a “smart” group of investor traders should theoretically never have financial conditions get to the point that genius employees get “laid off”. (A joke: A DE Shaw trader laments, “Dang. I just heard that some layoffs will be coming. Jack and I trade GC phs/fin toulene and my MD said it has gotten to the point that they might have to lay me or Jack off !….”). Further, as the AIG and LEH quant jokes continued to perform, a new addition to that meme added luster to that of the other two firms and created fresh genius bon mots among the commentariat. Interestingly, few made comments about JPM’s coal traders perhaps because JPM’s coal traders never were alleged to have been geniuses in the first place except perhaps within their own circle of friends, family or ladies at the flashlight club.
As the commentariat discussed the DE Shaw story –as presented by the delightful Ms. Levin– a number of commenters noted that the DE Shaw people who might get laid off were “geniuses who could “write their own ticket” going forward and we hope they have or will do so. But, when the mantle of genius is hoisted upon oneself intentionally or not, great results and behaviour are expected. (See AIG, SAC, LEH, etc.)
There are a number of “smart jokes” that come to mind when “genius intellect” is given idolistic stature. Your Joke Briefer will present them here by punchline only:
1. “If you’d get the knot out of that rope, the blade would fall all the way down…”
2. “The smartest man in the world just jumped out of this plane wearing my backpack!”
3. The principal said, “Put Johnny into the fifth grade. Heck, I missed the last two questions myself!”
With bet wishes and regards,
The Joke Briefer
$1 million AUM. These guys should not be taken lightly.
Bess said, “cock”.
You have to pay to join Mensa. And the moment you do, you’re no longer a genius.
I like to envision this as a fund chaired by Rain Man, managed by Simple Jack, and backed by Lenny Dykstra. And general counsel to be provided by Dewey, Cheetam, and Howe. These guys are the NKI.
“…the 2005 Inspirational Ball…”
THAT sounds like one hell of a party.
Worked great for us for a number of years
~AIG quant
Worked great for us for a number of years
~AIG quant
ZZZZZZzzzzz…..
-SEC
Same guy? http://www.sec.gov/litigation/litreleases/2008/lr20637.htm
On June 10, 2008, the Honorable Gerard E. Lynch, United States District Judge for the Southern District of New York, entered a Judgment of Permanent Injunction and Other Relief Against Defendant Alex Rabinovich, permanently enjoining Rabinovich from violating the registration and antifraud provisions of the federal securities laws.
Same guy? http://www.sec.gov/litigation/litreleases/2008/lr20637.htm
On June 10, 2008, the Honorable Gerard E. Lynch, United States District Judge for the Southern District of New York, entered a Judgment of Permanent Injunction and Other Relief Against Defendant Alex Rabinovich, permanently enjoining Rabinovich from violating the registration and antifraud provisions of the federal securities laws.
Anon = guy whose cock does not resemble a Burmese python
You don’t like pythons?
When they blow up, they can send investors this book for Christmas: http://www.amazon.com/When-Genius-Failed-Long-Term-Management/dp/0375758259
When they blow up, they can send investors this book for Christmas: http://www.amazon.com/When-Genius-Failed-Long-Term-Management/dp/0375758259
Fivehead Capital Partners, LP
Indeed cocky name, but after exchanging a few emails, scheduled a phone call with the general partner. The strategy works and proved itself for last 20 years. Will let you know more after the phone call. James
I say, good show James.
Better early than … well you know.
Carry on.
A firm’s name does indeed evoke emotion as well as convey sought-after attributes. I recently read an article about the success of the firm Liongate Capital Management. The name Liongate (very similar to the also wildly successful Lionsgate film production company) conveys an image of a regal unassailable fund management firm. Which in-turn adds a peace-of-mind component because of the solid confidence we inherently feel about a firm with such a noble name.
There’s no doubt that the Liongate moniker contributed greatly to the fund’s success. I recently donated the domain name “CapitalDirectors.com” to the foundation that I work for. I also donated the Delaware reserved name “Capital Directors Incorporated” so that the foundation could make them available in exchange for a charitable donation. Before finding my true calling working for the foundation, I’d planned to make Capital Directors a legendary management firm. I’ll be equally a pleased to see the brand acquired by the right group and to see it make its mark on the world. Congratulations to Liongate, and congratulations in advance to the future Capital Directors brand owner(s).
Guess the "geniuses" behind that hedge fund couldn't figure out how to get a website up, or the fund crashed and burned. Not surprising. I worked for AJ. He's exactly the kind of pretentious asshole about which you speak. Anyone who goes through 16 assistants in 2 years would be.