Principal and Mensa Member

Time was, if you were naming a hedge fund, you either went with some obscure reference, historical or otherwise, intended to demonstrate just how much of a pretentious asshole you are (PA’s make the best money managers), your initials, as way of sending the message ‘I run this house,’ or some sort of word that the evoked the idea of power and machismo, where investor capital is protected by a moat. Today brings a fourth option for those playing the name game, i.e. the most difficult task of opening your own shop.

And it comes by way of Long Island, where three guys have started a firm called the ‘Genius Hedge Fund.’ Sure, there are already existing hedge funds employing geniuses, and some might suggest that this was a brag, but we’re going to assume it was Alex, Victor and AJ were merely being descriptive. And given the investor demand for more transparency from the industry, we’re betting this is the start of a truth in advertising movement vis-a-vis naming your fund. Planning on dicking over your clients by not letting them redeem when they need the liquidity and/or borrowing their money to pay personal taxes? We’re Gonna Screw You Good Capital Management. Firm run by geniuses, not unlike the boys from Long Island? Mind Of A Scientist Management. Probably not gonna do much in the way of returns but stand out for having a founder with a cock like a Burmese python? Baby’s Arm LLC. You get the idea.

New Hedge Fund On Long Island [Newsday via BI]
Genius Hedge Fund [GHF]

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Comments (230)

  1. Posted by xel | January 7, 2011 at 9:33 PM

    Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.

  2. Posted by xel | January 7, 2011 at 9:33 PM

    Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.

  3. Posted by xel | January 7, 2011 at 9:33 PM

    Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.

  4. Posted by xel | January 7, 2011 at 9:33 PM

    Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.

  5. Posted by xel | January 7, 2011 at 9:33 PM

    Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.

  6. Posted by xel | January 7, 2011 at 9:33 PM

    Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.

  7. Posted by xel | January 7, 2011 at 9:33 PM

    Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.

  8. Posted by xel | January 7, 2011 at 9:33 PM

    Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.

  9. Posted by xel | January 7, 2011 at 9:33 PM

    Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.

  10. Posted by xel | January 7, 2011 at 9:33 PM

    Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.

  11. Posted by xel | January 7, 2011 at 9:33 PM

    Let me announce that Ponzi Scheme Asset Management, LLC is open for business.

  12. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:34 PM

    I need a time machine.

    -P. Falcone

  13. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:34 PM

    I need a time machine.

    -P. Falcone

  14. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:34 PM

    I need a time machine.

    -P. Falcone

  15. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:34 PM

    I need a time machine.

    -P. Falcone

  16. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:34 PM

    I need a time machine.

    -P. Falcone

  17. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:34 PM

    I need a time machine.

    -P. Falcone

  18. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  19. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  20. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  21. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  22. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  23. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  24. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  25. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  26. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  27. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  28. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  29. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  30. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  31. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  32. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  33. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  34. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  35. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  36. Posted by Mr. Market | January 7, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    “The General Partner has developed a proprietary strategy for finding, measuring, monitoring, investing and recognizing the commendable returns for option selling. Real time pricing data is gathered and compared to the additional the numerous amounts of financial equity figures available. Information utilized to influence the investment assessment includes:”

    If by genius you mean functionally retarded then, yes, I will certainly be investing.

    - Former victim of Bernard Madoff & Sons

  37. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    potato, potahto

  38. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    potato, potahto

  39. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    potato, potahto

  40. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    potato, potahto

  41. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    potato, potahto

  42. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    potato, potahto

  43. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    potato, potahto

  44. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    potato, potahto

  45. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    potato, potahto

  46. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    potato, potahto

  47. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    potato, potahto

  48. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    potato, potahto

  49. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    potato, potahto

  50. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    potato, potahto

  51. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    potato, potahto

  52. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  53. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  54. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  55. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  56. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  57. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  58. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  59. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  60. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  61. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  62. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  63. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  64. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  65. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  66. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  67. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  68. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  69. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  70. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  71. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  72. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  73. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  74. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  75. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  76. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  77. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  78. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  79. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  80. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  81. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  82. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  83. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  84. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  85. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  86. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  87. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  88. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    potatoE
    -DQ

  89. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  90. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  91. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  92. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  93. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  94. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  95. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  96. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  97. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  98. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  99. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  100. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  101. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  102. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  103. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  104. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  105. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  106. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  107. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  108. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  109. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  110. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  111. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  112. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  113. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  114. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  115. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  116. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  117. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  118. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  119. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  120. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  121. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  122. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  123. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  124. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  125. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  126. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  127. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  128. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:42 PM
  129. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  130. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  131. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  132. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  133. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  134. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  135. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  136. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  137. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  138. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  139. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  140. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  141. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  142. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  143. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  144. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  145. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  146. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  147. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  148. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  149. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  150. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  151. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  152. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  153. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  154. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  155. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  156. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  157. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  158. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  159. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  160. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  161. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  162. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  163. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  164. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  165. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  166. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    hey!

    -functional retard

  167. Posted by Checkmate | January 7, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    Apparently, supergood chess players. So they can hustle a few bucks at various NYC parks if this whole Genius H.F. thing does not work out.

  168. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 9:45 PM

    “His entrepreneurial skills has given him the ability to foresee other businesses to success.” Smart grammar will not be buying this one.

  169. Posted by LEH Quant | January 7, 2011 at 9:49 PM

    You’re missing an “S,” idiot. And I would be really hesitant to name my employer, particularly if it’s Dairy Queen.

    -LEH Quant

  170. Posted by Anonymous | January 7, 2011 at 9:51 PM

    shall we play a game?
    -W.O.P.R.

  171. Posted by guest | January 7, 2011 at 10:02 PM

    that clarium spinout Grandmaster Capital Management is pretty lame too.

  172. Posted by Anonymous | January 7, 2011 at 10:06 PM

    That’s the biggest load of marketing retarded-fuckspeak I’ve seen all day, though the day’s technically not yet over.

  173. Posted by Anonymous | January 7, 2011 at 10:06 PM

    That’s the biggest load of marketing retarded-fuckspeak I’ve seen all day, though the day’s technically not yet over.

  174. Posted by Anonymous | January 7, 2011 at 10:06 PM

    That’s the biggest load of marketing retarded-fuckspeak I’ve seen all day, though the day’s technically not yet over.

  175. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 10:06 PM

    i hear they pull a lot of business in Alabama and South Carolina

  176. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 10:06 PM

    i hear they pull a lot of business in Alabama and South Carolina

  177. Posted by trojan | January 7, 2011 at 10:06 PM

    i hear they pull a lot of business in Alabama and South Carolina

  178. Posted by Anonymous | January 7, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    Oh, and based on the now-added picture, they had at least one other valid name they could have chosen: “Expanding Foreheads, LLC”

  179. Posted by Anonymous | January 7, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    Oh, and based on the now-added picture, they had at least one other valid name they could have chosen: “Expanding Foreheads, LLC”

  180. Posted by Anonymous | January 7, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    Oh, and based on the now-added picture, they had at least one other valid name they could have chosen: “Expanding Foreheads, LLC”

  181. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 10:09 PM

    No big deal, we’ve been doing this for ages.

    -GSAM

  182. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 10:09 PM

    No big deal, we’ve been doing this for ages.

    -GSAM

  183. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 10:09 PM

    No big deal, we’ve been doing this for ages.

    -GSAM

  184. Posted by Anonymous | January 7, 2011 at 10:15 PM

    Serious question- wouldn’t excellent backgammon skills be more relevant to money management than chess skills?

  185. Posted by Shecky Einstein | January 7, 2011 at 10:19 PM

    I missed getting into MENSA by just 1 point. They said, “The point is Shecky, you’re just not smart enough!”

  186. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 10:23 PM

    I studied life once, then I stopped smoking pot and graduated.

  187. Posted by Anonymous | January 7, 2011 at 10:26 PM

    Day not over. Go to their web page…it gets even better.

  188. Posted by Zzz | January 7, 2011 at 10:32 PM

    I love how the strategy is basically short vol/premium collection.

  189. Posted by Non-Entity Hedge Fund Manager | January 7, 2011 at 10:35 PM

    I bet this is a one-stop shop kind of place… Service providers include:

    PB: Genius Securities LLC
    Custodian: Genius Sachs LLC
    TPA: Genius Fund Services LLC
    Auditor: Genius Auditors LLP

    No concerns, no concerns…

  190. Posted by Non-Entity Hedge Fund Manager | January 7, 2011 at 10:39 PM

    These guys are going to have to really ramp up their fund raising efforts if/when taxes on fictional… er, carried interest is taxed as ordinary income.

  191. Posted by Anonymous | January 7, 2011 at 10:53 PM

    Especially since the website itself would seem to be a violation of securities laws, since there doesn’t seem to be any mechanism to prevent non-qualified investors from accessing the data…

  192. Posted by Guest | January 7, 2011 at 11:08 PM

    You struck gold with another good name: Pretentious A$$holes Hedge Fund

  193. Posted by Anon | January 7, 2011 at 11:37 PM

    where do you get off writing things like “a cock like a burmese python”….for petes sake have some class woman…..you kids today like to think you are so liberated…….makes me sick

  194. Posted by CCO | January 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM

    more like rahtards. who puts up model returns on a open website? sec folk are big fans of db btw.

  195. Posted by CCO | January 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM

    more like rahtards. who puts up model returns on a open website? sec folk are big fans of db btw.

  196. Posted by Guest | January 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM

    You’re fucking out!

  197. Posted by Guest | January 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM

    You’re fucking out!

  198. Posted by Guest | January 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM

    You’re fucking out!

  199. Posted by Guest | January 8, 2011 at 12:16 AM

    This guy struck gold with a macho, historic last name. Jim Warr, CEO Warr International, and a sweet web address http://www.jimwarr.com/, to go with it.

    http://www.statesman.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/austin/theticker/entries/2011/01/07/state_authorities_seize_austin.html

  200. Posted by Anonymous | January 8, 2011 at 12:21 AM

    Cue the SEC…3…2…1

  201. Posted by Annapurna | January 8, 2011 at 12:56 AM

    Annapurna Fund

  202. Posted by LOL | January 8, 2011 at 1:03 AM

    ALEX RABINOVICH: Persuasive, confident manner coupled with innovative suggestions and ability to find solutions in any situation. Known for a unique ability to establish and sustain positive relationships with enterprises, executives and clients internationally. Alex is regarded as not only as a worthy adversary but a team builder, using his logical levelheaded approach to overcome challenges; finding ways to bring various assets into harmony.

    VICTOR PLOTKIN: Victor is a scholar of life, his knowledge and affinity for historical novels offers a timeline of vision and comprehension unmatched by all but the most committed elite.A highly successful trader, Victor is always the calculating master chessman. His many awards and accolades provide only a small demonstration of his caliber and drive for excellence.

    AJ CARO: Mr. Caro’s out-of-the-box thinking and visionary leadership landed him on the Top 40 Under 40 Rising Stars list, compiled by Long Island Business News. He was honored at the 2005 Inspirational Ball for his achievements and inspiration to others. His entrepreneurial skills has given him the ability to foresee other businesses to success.

  203. Posted by Sgt. Frank Drebin, SEC Squad | January 8, 2011 at 1:35 AM

    Hocken, Nordberg and I visited their offices.

    After introductions, as well as telling them who we were, I said “perhaps you’ll show me to your oil lamp that when rubbed produces a genius in a puff of smoke to give you tips on market direction and wealth creation?” They looked a little confused, but that is what I expected.

    “How many wishes do you get? Who among you is “Major Nelson? Do you ever dream of genius with the light brown hair?” I watched as they furrowed their brows like an oil trader getting a table dance from a lactose intolerant dancer.

    I looked them in the eye and said, “Don’t play dumb with us. We invented that game.”

    -Sgt. Frank Drebin
    Detective Lieutenant
    SEC Squad

  204. Posted by bobby fisher | January 8, 2011 at 2:00 AM
  205. Posted by Anonymous | January 8, 2011 at 2:04 AM

    I recall a pink sheets market maker whose name was Schafft, Snook, & Kahn. Certainly an appropriate name for someone in the business!

  206. Posted by Me | January 8, 2011 at 6:34 AM

    Are DE Shaw jokes still in play?

    -Guy who finally got hired, and has this blocked at work.

  207. Posted by Jack Sparrow | January 8, 2011 at 10:14 AM

    golf clap

  208. Posted by Chicksie Dix | January 8, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    The SEC is a frickin’ joke. SEC big fans of ladyboy porn websites too.

  209. Posted by XXV | January 8, 2011 at 7:07 PM

    That is actually a pretty decent strategy.

  210. Posted by Anonymous | January 8, 2011 at 10:12 PM

    Agreed – it pays my bills.

  211. Posted by The Joke Briefer | January 9, 2011 at 8:47 PM

    Dearest Me:

    Congratulations on being hired! What a great sadness though to learn Dealbreaker has been blocked where you work. I feel certain that Dealbreaker (or transcripts from it) is read by CEOs, CIOs, CFOs, COOs, treasurers, risk managers, government regulators and agents, traders, marketers, originators, brokers, wealth managers, hedge fund personnel, middle and back office worker bees and others that would give you the hives as well as a joke writer for a certain late night talk show, Hollywood screenwriters, newspaper people of any worth, politicians and their staff and college students.

    The DE Shaw jokes are still in play but not as frequently as some of the other joke memes among the commentariat. As you well know, a firm in the business of wooing and soliciting others’ money with promises of above normal returns or “alpha” must indicate how it is different from other firms in the same field. Sometimes alleged IQ status is presented. Are the DE Shaw personnel “alpha romeos”?

    We need a longer tenor (that’s what the operatic soprano said!) in order to tell. Your Joke Briefer recalls a certain energy marketing firm out of Omaha –and later Kansas City– that in and around 2001 had a website with a link to its “intellectual capital” (meaning personnel) and when one clicked upon that link to “intellectual capital” a wallpaper screen image of no less than Albert Einstein appeared with contacts and bios of said “intellectual capital”. Because your Joke Briefer knew some of the people at said firm, it took your Joke Briefer 3 or 4 weeks for his torn abdomen to heal from his hard laughter after seeing the employees images and bios being visually associated with the supra-intellect of the man who deduced gravity can bend light. Interestingly, after the Kansas City nee Omaha firm closed up shop after an alleged fistfight between family controlling members over some troubling financial issues, some of the “geniuses” there allegedly were eventually employed by the firm you mention.

    The DE Shaw jokes started because a “smart” group of investor traders should theoretically never have financial conditions get to the point that genius employees get “laid off”. (A joke: A DE Shaw trader laments, “Dang. I just heard that some layoffs will be coming. Jack and I trade GC phs/fin toulene and my MD said it has gotten to the point that they might have to lay me or Jack off !….”). Further, as the AIG and LEH quant jokes continued to perform, a new addition to that meme added luster to that of the other two firms and created fresh genius bon mots among the commentariat. Interestingly, few made comments about JPM’s coal traders perhaps because JPM’s coal traders never were alleged to have been geniuses in the first place except perhaps within their own circle of friends, family or ladies at the flashlight club.

    As the commentariat discussed the DE Shaw story –as presented by the delightful Ms. Levin– a number of commenters noted that the DE Shaw people who might get laid off were “geniuses who could “write their own ticket” going forward and we hope they have or will do so. But, when the mantle of genius is hoisted upon oneself intentionally or not, great results and behaviour are expected. (See AIG, SAC, LEH, etc.)

    There are a number of “smart jokes” that come to mind when “genius intellect” is given idolistic stature. Your Joke Briefer will present them here by punchline only:

    1. “If you’d get the knot out of that rope, the blade would fall all the way down…”

    2. “The smartest man in the world just jumped out of this plane wearing my backpack!”

    3. The principal said, “Put Johnny into the fifth grade. Heck, I missed the last two questions myself!”

    With bet wishes and regards,
    The Joke Briefer

  212. Posted by Guest | January 9, 2011 at 10:20 PM

    $1 million AUM. These guys should not be taken lightly.

  213. Posted by Jack | January 10, 2011 at 12:22 PM

    Bess said, “cock”.

  214. Posted by Jack | January 10, 2011 at 12:25 PM

    You have to pay to join Mensa. And the moment you do, you’re no longer a genius.

  215. Posted by Fletch | January 10, 2011 at 1:10 PM

    I like to envision this as a fund chaired by Rain Man, managed by Simple Jack, and backed by Lenny Dykstra. And general counsel to be provided by Dewey, Cheetam, and Howe. These guys are the NKI.

  216. Posted by Anonymous | January 10, 2011 at 2:08 PM

    “…the 2005 Inspirational Ball…”

    THAT sounds like one hell of a party.

  217. Posted by StuckInOhio | January 10, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    Worked great for us for a number of years

    ~AIG quant

  218. Posted by StuckInOhio | January 10, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    Worked great for us for a number of years

    ~AIG quant

  219. Posted by SEC_Agent | January 10, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    ZZZZZZzzzzz…..

    -SEC

  220. Posted by EnronCFO | January 10, 2011 at 5:39 PM

    Same guy? http://www.sec.gov/litigation/litreleases/2008/lr20637.htm

    On June 10, 2008, the Honorable Gerard E. Lynch, United States District Judge for the Southern District of New York, entered a Judgment of Permanent Injunction and Other Relief Against Defendant Alex Rabinovich, permanently enjoining Rabinovich from violating the registration and antifraud provisions of the federal securities laws.

  221. Posted by EnronCFO | January 10, 2011 at 5:39 PM

    Same guy? http://www.sec.gov/litigation/litreleases/2008/lr20637.htm

    On June 10, 2008, the Honorable Gerard E. Lynch, United States District Judge for the Southern District of New York, entered a Judgment of Permanent Injunction and Other Relief Against Defendant Alex Rabinovich, permanently enjoining Rabinovich from violating the registration and antifraud provisions of the federal securities laws.

  222. Posted by Anonymous | January 10, 2011 at 6:20 PM

    Anon = guy whose cock does not resemble a Burmese python

  223. Posted by Equivocation | January 10, 2011 at 6:44 PM

    You don’t like pythons?

  224. Posted by Antoine BugleBoy | January 10, 2011 at 6:57 PM

    When they blow up, they can send investors this book for Christmas: http://www.amazon.com/When-Genius-Failed-Long-Term-Management/dp/0375758259

  225. Posted by Antoine BugleBoy | January 10, 2011 at 6:57 PM

    When they blow up, they can send investors this book for Christmas: http://www.amazon.com/When-Genius-Failed-Long-Term-Management/dp/0375758259

  226. Posted by Guest | January 10, 2011 at 7:13 PM

    Fivehead Capital Partners, LP

  227. Posted by James HF investor | January 10, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    Indeed cocky name, but after exchanging a few emails, scheduled a phone call with the general partner. The strategy works and proved itself for last 20 years. Will let you know more after the phone call. James

  228. Posted by FitzFitz, ESQ. | January 10, 2011 at 9:19 PM

    I say, good show James.
    Better early than … well you know.
    Carry on.

  229. Posted by Damon Howell | October 6, 2011 at 12:52 PM

    A firm’s name does indeed evoke emotion as well as convey sought-after attributes. I recently read an article about the success of the firm Liongate Capital Management. The name Liongate (very similar to the also wildly successful Lionsgate film production company) conveys an image of a regal unassailable fund management firm. Which in-turn adds a peace-of-mind component because of the solid confidence we inherently feel about a firm with such a noble name.

    There’s no doubt that the Liongate moniker contributed greatly to the fund’s success. I recently donated the domain name “CapitalDirectors.com” to the foundation that I work for. I also donated the Delaware reserved name “Capital Directors Incorporated” so that the foundation could make them available in exchange for a charitable donation. Before finding my true calling working for the foundation, I’d planned to make Capital Directors a legendary management firm. I’ll be equally a pleased to see the brand acquired by the right group and to see it make its mark on the world. Congratulations to Liongate, and congratulations in advance to the future Capital Directors brand owner(s).

  230. Posted by Fifi | March 27, 2012 at 6:17 PM

    Guess the "geniuses" behind that hedge fund couldn't figure out how to get a website up, or the fund crashed and burned. Not surprising. I worked for AJ. He's exactly the kind of pretentious asshole about which you speak. Anyone who goes through 16 assistants in 2 years would be.

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