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How Can The Bank Of America WikiLeaks Top This?

As you may have heard, Julian Assange has hinted that his next big ‘Leak will center around Bank of America and could “take down” the company. BAC has taken the threat seriously, though some have wondered what dirt Assange could possibly reveal that could embarrass the place more than it’s already embarrassed itself. Today our question- hope, etc– is how it could possibly equal or rival this:

According to a recently released cable obtained by WikiLeaks, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was slapped in the face by Revolutionary Guard Chief of Staff Mohammed Ali Jafari…According the source, Ahmedinejad’s statements [on the opposition protests] infuriated Revolutionary Guard Chief of Staff Mohammed Ali Jafari, who exclaimed “You are wrong! (In fact) it is YOU who created this mess! And now you say give more freedom to the press?!” Source said that Jafarli then slapped Ahmedinejad in the face, causing an uproar and an immediate call for a break in the meeting, which was never resumed.

Are we talking one good backhand to Ken Lewis’s face (who for comedic purposes, will have to be involved)?

Ahmadinejad Slapped By Revolutionary Guard Chief Of Staff: WikiLeaks Cable [HP via Daily Intel]

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90 Responses to “How Can The Bank Of America WikiLeaks Top This?”

  1. Keith says:

    Based on my foreign policy experience, since the bottom of a shoe wasn’t involved it really isn’t that big of a deal.

  2. Soup Nazi says:

    No soup for you!

  3. Guest says:

    Oh come on. They were just playing.

  4. Guest says:

    Oh come on. They were just playing.

  5. Barack says:

    This confirms my belief that the only “macho” dictators left are Putin and Chavez. You just knew that Mahmoud and Kim were into b*tch slapping.

  6. Anonymous says:

    To: CGasparino@FoxBN.com
    From: [Redacted underling]@FoxBN.com
    Re: BofA Wikileaks

    Chuck,
    Happy New Year! Thanks again for lending me your Serpico DVD, it was great film. I feel like I’m really beginning to understand you. Being from the Midwest, this “New York state of mind” stuff is all new to me.

    This is what I’m hearing on BofA. The word on the street is that there was a very important board meeting when Ken Lewis, from out of nowhere, stood up and said that “Merrill was his greatest conquest yet!” Brian Moynihan stepped on Ken’s foot knowing that Mr. Lewis had a few too many glasses of Boone’s prior to the meeting. The meeting was immediately called into recess. It turned out that Brian stepped so hard that Ken’s foot was broken and he couldn’t stand (or sit without considerable pain). The meeting didn’t resume until one week later at which time Ken was given the official boot. This explains why they weren’t prepared to announce a new CEO at the time Mr. Lewis was ousted. Do you think we can get the story out in time to make the cover of the Daily Beast?
    Sincerely,
    [Redacted]

  7. Confidential to Ahmedinejad: when Jafarli gets out the talcum powder, duck.

  8. Slapdick Comedian says:

    I think Dick B. hitting Ken with her purse would be funnier than a backhand.

  9. Anonymous says:

    I have this on good authority that Ken Lewis made a series of humorous videos to boost employee morale, and may have crossed the line with a depiction of a cardboard cut out of Stan O’ Neal in bed with an Obama look alike. At the time it seemed really funny.

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