• 05 Jan 2011 at 10:15 AM

How Fast Do We Think Connecticut Investment Manager Russell Stildolph Was Going When He Launched His Porsche 35 Feet In The Air?

By

Russel Stildolph is a Norwalk resident and the founder and Managing Director of Connecticut-based AltEnergy, a clean energy-focused private equity fund. Maybe you’ve taken meetings with him or seen him around downtown; if you have, you probably didn’t know that Stildolph has a secret. And that secret is simply this: he ownsleases a flying car.

It wasn’t until a few weeks ago, however, that he worked up the courage to test out this particular feature on his 2008 911 Porsche Carerra. After tossing back some drinks (unclear as to how many, but whatever it took to get his blood alcohol level to about .20), Stildolph took a drive, ultimately ending up on the lawn of 24 Highland Avenue, where he parked his car. Prior to doing so, police guesstimate that Russ, who was found with “his head wedged under the rear window frame” having only suffered a few cuts and bruises, had gotten the Porsche up to 35 feet before crashing into the second story of the house and landing on the front porch. Quite impressive! Unfortunately, Big Russ “doesn’t remember what happened” so we’ll just have piece things together as best we can. (Stildolph is set to be arraigned on charges of drunk driving, traveling “unreasonably fast,” failure to stop at a stop sign and failure to wear a seat belt on January 13, so maybe after he deals with all that we can present our theories and jog his memory.)

Investment Head Charged In Drunk Driving Accident [Greenwich Time]

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Comments (90)

Older Comments
  1. 1
    Posted by Blue | January 5, 2011 at 3:25 PM

    Is it alternative energy if you’re flying a gasoline-powered car, though?

    Perhaps, though, this was Russell’s way of testing a new, top-secret non-jet-fueled plane cleverly disguised as a performance car.

  2. 2
    Posted by Guest | January 5, 2011 at 3:28 PM

    yes, thank you!

    -RS

  3. 3
    Posted by Dumbass Oil Trader | January 5, 2011 at 3:28 PM

    Energy guy…..Porsche……liquor…..crashes onto an upscale lawn. So what makes this news?

    -Dumbass Oil Trader

  4. 4
    Posted by Guest | January 5, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    Stildolph? I’m making an assumption that eight tiny reindeer may be involved somehow.

  5. 5
    Posted by Guest | January 5, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    Stildolph? I’m making an assumption that eight tiny reindeer may be involved somehow.

  6. 6
    Posted by Guest E. Guest | January 5, 2011 at 3:35 PM

    Did he climax at the point of liftoff?

    - guy who likes to get head while driving

  7. 7
    Posted by Guest E. Guest | January 5, 2011 at 3:35 PM

    Did he climax at the point of liftoff?

    - guy who likes to get head while driving

  8. 8
    Posted by Guest | January 5, 2011 at 3:35 PM

    I know that was your attempt at a (stupid) joke but I’ll say it anyway: 35 feet in the air is the fucking news.

  9. 9
    Posted by Guest | January 5, 2011 at 3:35 PM

    I know that was your attempt at a (stupid) joke but I’ll say it anyway: 35 feet in the air is the fucking news.

  10. 10
    Posted by Anonymous | January 5, 2011 at 3:39 PM

    Looks like we have a favorite for the 2010 “Douche of the Year” award.

  11. 11
    Posted by Blue | January 5, 2011 at 3:39 PM

    I’m thinking that perhaps that wasn’t the part of his body releasing contents into his pants at the time.

  12. 12
    Posted by tits | January 5, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    Where we’re going we don’t need roads!

  13. 13
    Posted by C. Griswold | January 5, 2011 at 3:41 PM

    Mechanic 2: Ain’t never seen anyone so shit-all stupid as you driving off that road. You musta got manure for your brains.
    Clark: Yeah, well, we’re from out of town. How much do I owe you?
    Mechanic 1: How much you got?
    Clark: No, I’m asking how much the repairs are.
    Mechanic 1: And I’m asking how much you got!
    Clark: You’re out of your mind. Look, I don’t have time to fool around so how much is it?
    Mechanic 1: [waving a wrench] All of it, boy!
    Clark: What does your sheriff think of your business practice?
    [Mechanic 1 laughs and shows Clark his sheriff's badge]

  14. 14
    Posted by Guest | January 5, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    Fast enough to fly over the Pizza Hut roof next door.

    I fear the new-car smell has wreaked havoc once again.

  15. 15
    Posted by antiDB | January 5, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    Think the AltEnergy is blow

  16. 16
    Posted by Guest | January 5, 2011 at 3:52 PM

    These charges are completely ridiculous. I unfastened the seatbelt after parking the car.

    -RS

  17. 17
    Posted by CoveredLong | January 5, 2011 at 3:54 PM

    Cop: You know why I pulled you over?
    Russell: Depends on how long you were following me!
    Cop: Why don’t we just take it from the top?
    Russell: Here goes: I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes at the intersection. I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and *flying*!
    Cop: Is that all?
    Russell: No….I have unpaid redemptions.
    [groans]

  18. 18
    Posted by Guest | January 5, 2011 at 3:55 PM

    Gus: [putting the gun to his head] You saw the stop sign didn’t you, Russ?
    [waving the gun back and forth]
    Gus: You… saw the… stop sign… DIDN’T YOU?
    Russ: Y-yes, I did.
    Gus: YES! So that means that you, too, are a liar! Capital “L”, small “i”, small “a”, small “r”, period. Now shut… the fuck… up!

  19. 19
    Posted by C. Griswold | January 5, 2011 at 3:56 PM

    I went 50 yards.

  20. 20
    Posted by Pfluger the Barbarian | January 5, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    He should have used the Prius Defense – stuck accelerator pedal.

  21. 21
    Posted by Wikileaks | January 5, 2011 at 4:07 PM

    AltEnergy
    Internal Memorandum
    ————————————
    To: Investor Relations Team
    From: RS
    Re: Nature of investments

    Some of you have been mentioning that you have seen some push-back from potential investors who have questioned whether speculative energy companies are a suitable investment class for highly-leveraged private equity. Firstly, let me assure you that I am completely comfortable with our strategy. Secondly, the preferred answer to questions like this is to say that we believe that experimental energy companies are ideal candidates for balance-sheet-gearing because of their strong and stable cashflows. I recommend you maintain aggressive eye contact while saying this.

    All the best,

    RS

  22. 22
    Posted by Guest | January 5, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    you win.

  23. 23
    Posted by the observer | January 5, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    Police are morons

    It’s obvious that the car did not fly 35 feet. He simply rolled it end over end hitting the house while perpendicular to the ground. The placement and amount of damage to the roof makes this clear.

    Holmes

  24. 24
    Posted by Guest | January 5, 2011 at 4:27 PM

    I stopped reading at Carerra. What a loser.

  25. 25
    Posted by Guest | January 5, 2011 at 4:27 PM

    I stopped reading at Carerra. What a loser.

  26. 26
    Posted by Anonymous | January 5, 2011 at 4:38 PM

    yellow porsche? now that’s the canary in the coal mine…

  27. 27
    Posted by Guest | January 5, 2011 at 4:39 PM

    But you would’ve kept going if it were a Cayenne.

  28. 28
    Posted by MD | January 5, 2011 at 4:41 PM

    2nd Yr Associate Porsche

  29. 29
    Posted by MD | January 5, 2011 at 4:41 PM

    2nd Yr Associate Porsche

  30. 30
    Posted by Caractacus Potts | January 5, 2011 at 5:18 PM

    A car doesn’t really have to be going that fast to fly.

  31. 31
    Posted by Bayleybeach | January 5, 2011 at 5:19 PM

    This happened before Thanksgiving. Took 40 minutes to cut Speed Racer out of the flaming yellow Porsche. What are the odds that the fucktard was coming from the River Rat?

    BTW – residents of Rowayton do not like their town referred to as “Norwalk”, although it is Norwalk. As silly as if people in Belle Haven didn’t admit their home was in Greenwich.

  32. 32
    Posted by Guest | January 5, 2011 at 5:40 PM

    what the hell is the “river rat”?

  33. 33
    Posted by Mobius Stripper | January 5, 2011 at 5:56 PM

    1.21 Jiggawatts

  34. 34
    Posted by Doc | January 5, 2011 at 6:11 PM

    88 miles per hour

  35. 35
    Posted by Dumbass Oil Trader | January 5, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    The mail must get to your place awful slow on Dipshit Lane, pal, but again….energy guy, Porsche…liquor…35 feet in the air……crashes onto lawn…so what? Have you ever been in energy business or do you suck shit for the fun of it?

  36. 36
    Posted by Dumbass Oil Trader | January 5, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    The mail must get to your place awful slow on Dipshit Lane, pal, but again….energy guy, Porsche…liquor…35 feet in the air……crashes onto lawn…so what? Have you ever been in energy business or do you suck shit for the fun of it?

  37. 37
    Posted by Dumbass Oil Trader | January 5, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    The mail must get to your place awful slow on Dipshit Lane, pal, but again….energy guy, Porsche…liquor…35 feet in the air……crashes onto lawn…so what? Have you ever been in energy business or do you suck shit for the fun of it?

  38. 38
    Posted by Dumbass Oil Trader | January 5, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    The mail must get to your place awful slow on Dipshit Lane, pal, but again….energy guy, Porsche…liquor…35 feet in the air……crashes onto lawn…so what? Have you ever been in energy business or do you suck shit for the fun of it?

  39. 39
    Posted by Dumbass Oil Trader | January 5, 2011 at 6:32 PM

    Hey Guest at 10:35…this is what a funny comment looks like.

  40. 40
    Posted by Dumbass Oil Trader | January 5, 2011 at 6:32 PM

    Hey Guest at 10:35…this is what a funny comment looks like.

  41. 41
    Posted by Dumbass Oil Trader | January 5, 2011 at 6:32 PM

    Hey Guest at 10:35…this is what a funny comment looks like.

  42. 42
    Posted by Dumbass Oil Trader | January 5, 2011 at 6:32 PM

    Hey Guest at 10:35…this is what a funny comment looks like.

  43. 43
    Posted by Tess Devlin | January 5, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    According to the Norwalk PD, “unreasonably fast”

  44. 44
    Posted by Biff | January 5, 2011 at 6:38 PM

    The flux capacitor was clearly defective.

  45. 45
    Posted by JR | January 5, 2011 at 6:39 PM

    Apparently a popular watering hole in Rowayton or Norwalk or whatever its douchey denizens prefer. The reference is an obvious attempt to let us know that the poster is in-the-know about this fair hamlet. As to why said poster would think we care, I haven’t the foggiest.

  46. 46
    Posted by Guest | January 5, 2011 at 6:49 PM

    Are you related to the Joke Briefer?

  47. 47
    Posted by Guest | January 5, 2011 at 6:49 PM

    Are you related to the Joke Briefer?

  48. 48
    Posted by C-bass | January 5, 2011 at 6:55 PM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk7VWcuVOf0

  49. 49
    Posted by Bob Loblaw | January 5, 2011 at 7:03 PM

    check out the addy in googlemaps, 24 highland ave in norwalk, take it all the way down to the street level and then pan 360 degrees, by the looks of it, the guy was haulin’ ass up McKinley and when the road Tee’d, he decided to go straight, probably hitting the small stone wall/curb out front which launched him airborne and landed him against the front of the house…..I bet he was going at least 100mph to get that kind of distance and height….well done Russel!!!

  50. 50
    Posted by Anonymous | January 5, 2011 at 7:16 PM

    Hope floats, stupid bounces!

  51. 51
    Posted by Anonymous | January 5, 2011 at 7:51 PM

    My favorite part of the police report is – “…his head wedged under the rear window frame…” Just picturing how he got his head out of his ass and under the rear window frame strikes me as funny…

  52. 52
    Posted by Lalag197 | January 5, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    This is hilarious, story great, comments greater. I hear Wall St. is dead, all need apply to the Daily Show!

  53. 53
    Posted by Lalag197 | January 5, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    This is hilarious, story great, comments greater. I hear Wall St. is dead, all need apply to the Daily Show!

  54. 54
    Posted by Guest | January 5, 2011 at 7:57 PM

    I need someone to draw me a diagram.

  55. 55
    Posted by Guest | January 5, 2011 at 7:57 PM

    I need someone to draw me a diagram.

  56. 56
    Posted by Anonymous | January 5, 2011 at 8:14 PM

    Was he trading derivatives?

    Don’t drink and derive!

  57. 57
    Posted by Anonymous | January 5, 2011 at 8:14 PM

    Was he trading derivatives?

    Don’t drink and derive!

  58. 58
    Posted by Anonymous | January 5, 2011 at 8:14 PM

    Was he trading derivatives?

    Don’t drink and derive!

  59. 59
    Posted by Anonymous | January 5, 2011 at 8:14 PM

    Was he trading derivatives?

    Don’t drink and derive!

  60. 60
    Posted by Bill | January 5, 2011 at 8:21 PM

    Great comments!

  61. 61
    Posted by Bill | January 5, 2011 at 8:21 PM

    Great comments!

  62. 62
    Posted by Bill | January 5, 2011 at 8:21 PM

    Great comments!

  63. 63
    Posted by Bill | January 5, 2011 at 8:21 PM

    Great comments!

  64. 64
    Posted by Bill | January 5, 2011 at 8:21 PM

    Great comments!

  65. 65
    Posted by Bill | January 5, 2011 at 8:21 PM

    Great comments!

  66. 66
    Posted by Bill | January 5, 2011 at 8:21 PM

    Great comments!

  67. 67
    Posted by Anonymous | January 5, 2011 at 8:35 PM

    Actually, it’s called the River Cat– apparently we’re supposed to know the nickname.

    And pointing out to people from Rowayton that they live in Norwalk annoys them almost as much as pointing out to snooty Riverdale residents that they are inhabitants of The Bronx (which is always fun, too).

    -Guy from inland Connecticut (who moreover grew up thinking the Gold Coast was the old name for some country in West Africa)

  68. 68
    Posted by SRH | January 5, 2011 at 8:35 PM

    I would’ve been impressed if he cleared the roof. 2nd story? pshh.

  69. 69
    Posted by Tess Devlin | January 5, 2011 at 8:39 PM

    Not by the looks of the photos. No damage to the yard, unless you count the compacted Carrera

  70. 70
    Posted by Mr. Market | January 5, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    He was celebrating the dismissal of Porsche’s lawsuits.

  71. 71
    Posted by SRH | January 5, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    hmm and you account for the house being busted on the second story how?

  72. 72
    Posted by Just asking | January 5, 2011 at 9:09 PM

    So what is the deal with his lease now? Assuming it was a 3-year lease, is he on the hook for it, or does insurance pay it off and then deny him coverage forevermore?

  73. 73
    Posted by JR | January 5, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    No but definitely a fan.

  74. 74
    Posted by SRH | January 5, 2011 at 9:38 PM

    it’s criminal how unfunny your comments are. STFU.

  75. 75
    Posted by The Physics Guy | January 5, 2011 at 9:44 PM

    I’m trying to work out the physics of the situation. it looks like the point of impact was 9, maybe 10 feet up. I doubt the top of the Porsche flight arc was 35 feet…probably closer to 12 or 15. looks like that lawn gave him a decent 45 deg. ramp, maybe even a little steeper. The house wasn’t too far back from the presumed launch point. Without bothering to google the curb weight of the Porsche, I’m going to guesstimate 80 – 90mph.

  76. 76
    Posted by Ct | January 5, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    +1

  77. 77
    Posted by the observer | January 5, 2011 at 10:25 PM

    you do understand what perpendicular means right?

  78. 78
    Posted by the observer | January 5, 2011 at 10:25 PM

    you do understand what perpendicular means right?

  79. 79
    Posted by Anonymous | January 5, 2011 at 10:39 PM

    It’s a Porsche, not a 1956 Buick Roadmaster. Even stood on end I don’t think it’s going to reach a second-story window.

  80. 80
    Posted by Anonymous | January 5, 2011 at 10:41 PM

    Apparently OptionsTrader made the move into commodities…

  81. 81
    Posted by not a believer | January 5, 2011 at 10:58 PM

    Cars bounce?

    If it did indeed get 35ft high, I want to see the take off point…

  82. 82
    Posted by Guest | January 6, 2011 at 12:12 AM

    Also, if he got 35 feet into the air, he would have cleared that house.

  83. 83
    Posted by Ct | January 6, 2011 at 12:45 AM

    you planning something?

  84. 84
    Posted by buddy whackem | January 6, 2011 at 1:43 AM

    ill deal 42 / 71 on the roll

  85. 85
    Posted by Cutie Pie | January 6, 2011 at 4:03 AM

    Yours was, by far, the best comment! What a whackadoodle this guy must be!!!!!

  86. 86
    Posted by Ferdinand | January 7, 2011 at 10:59 AM

    What’s wrong with a porsche 911 carrera?

  87. 87
    Posted by red cunt hair | January 7, 2011 at 9:48 PM

    i just hope his kids are old enough to read the paper this week

  88. 88
    Posted by just_looking | January 12, 2011 at 2:06 AM

    not only that, but the river cat closed last year, so your ‘on the know’ douche, isn’t even that.

  89. 89
    Posted by Donny | January 18, 2011 at 6:18 PM

    that was nothing, check this out. This guy flew 90(!) feet into a church roof…
    http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/01/27/2474811.htm

  90. 90
    Posted by annie2foo | January 22, 2011 at 5:06 PM

    Okay, he can fly. Now let’s see if the banksters can walk on water, oh, say, 500 miles off the coast of Maine.

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