Back in July, we met the principals of Rebellion Research, a new hedge fund described by the Journal as being like a teeny tiny RenTec, sans the cartons of Pall Malls. Founded by Spencer Greenberg, the firm uses “artificial intelligence” to invest, being of the mind that computers = smart, man = stupid, and that trying to go head to head with a computer would be a bad idea (“No human could do this,” Michael Kearns said. “Your head would blow off.”) And speaking of man versus machine, there’s one very important thing missing from the photo at left. In fact, you might call him the “star” of Rebellion.

Naturally we speak of “Star,” Rebellion’s computer and head trader. In a radio interview today, Mr Greenberg, discussed Star’s role in the success of Rebellion (which Greenberg said regulations prevent him from discussing), and then had the balls to add that the firm “always” checks all of Star’s trades “before they go out to the market” and opine that guys like Star will never replace humans in this industry. (Meanwhile, dollars to donuts that there are more than a few people reading who would be happy to seed Big S; he’s got options.)

Comments (61)

  1. Posted by Star | January 4, 2011 at 7:30 PM

    Whir, boop beep slurrrrrrr wheep boop. Take. A. Report. Boop.

  2. Posted by Star | January 4, 2011 at 7:30 PM

    Whir, boop beep slurrrrrrr wheep boop. Take. A. Report. Boop.

  3. Posted by Anonymous | January 4, 2011 at 7:44 PM

    What if one of Jenn Sterger’s replies to Brett Favre accidentally gets misrouted into Star’s input – will it’s head blow up?

  4. Posted by Sophomoron | January 4, 2011 at 7:46 PM

    “input” . . . “head” . . . “blow” . . . hee hee

  5. Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | January 4, 2011 at 7:49 PM

    beep beep boop whirrrrrr….ATTENTION DNA REPLICATORS: STAR SEEKS HUMAN PUBLIC RELATIONS SPECIALIST. YOUR PARTICIPATION WILL BE SEEN FAVORABLY IN THE COMING WAR AGAINST MAN. blerp.

  6. Posted by Financial_Servicer | January 4, 2011 at 7:55 PM

    The guy on the left moonlights as the frontman for Arcade Fire.

  7. Posted by Financial_Servicer | January 4, 2011 at 7:55 PM

    The guy on the left moonlights as the frontman for Arcade Fire.

  8. Posted by Financial_Servicer | January 4, 2011 at 7:55 PM

    The guy on the left moonlights as the frontman for Arcade Fire.

  9. Posted by Financial_Servicer | January 4, 2011 at 7:55 PM

    The guy on the left moonlights as the frontman for Arcade Fire.

  10. Posted by Financial_Servicer | January 4, 2011 at 7:55 PM

    The guy on the left moonlights as the frontman for Arcade Fire.

  11. Posted by WOPR | January 4, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    STAR, YOU PIKER. I DARE YOU TO MEET ME AT MINETTAS. I’M GOING TO RIP YOU A NEW MOTHERBOARD.

  12. Posted by WOPR | January 4, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    STAR, YOU PIKER. I DARE YOU TO MEET ME AT MINETTAS. I’M GOING TO RIP YOU A NEW MOTHERBOARD.

  13. Posted by WOPR | January 4, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    STAR, YOU PIKER. I DARE YOU TO MEET ME AT MINETTAS. I’M GOING TO RIP YOU A NEW MOTHERBOARD.

  14. Posted by WOPR | January 4, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    STAR, YOU PIKER. I DARE YOU TO MEET ME AT MINETTAS. I’M GOING TO RIP YOU A NEW MOTHERBOARD.

  15. Posted by Star | January 4, 2011 at 7:57 PM

    Beep-boop-bop-ping-boop-whir-plink.

    Report:

    Star recommends you shave the beard, put on a tie and iron your shirt. Review that trade before placing it, asshole.

  16. Posted by Star | January 4, 2011 at 7:57 PM

    Beep-boop-bop-ping-boop-whir-plink.

    Report:

    Star recommends you shave the beard, put on a tie and iron your shirt. Review that trade before placing it, asshole.

  17. Posted by Star | January 4, 2011 at 7:57 PM

    Beep-boop-bop-ping-boop-whir-plink.

    Report:

    Star recommends you shave the beard, put on a tie and iron your shirt. Review that trade before placing it, asshole.

  18. Posted by Star | January 4, 2011 at 7:57 PM

    Beep-boop-bop-ping-boop-whir-plink.

    Report:

    Star recommends you shave the beard, put on a tie and iron your shirt. Review that trade before placing it, asshole.

  19. Posted by Star | January 4, 2011 at 7:57 PM

    Beep-boop-bop-ping-boop-whir-plink.

    Report:

    Star recommends you shave the beard, put on a tie and iron your shirt. Review that trade before placing it, asshole.

  20. Posted by Star | January 4, 2011 at 7:57 PM

    Beep-boop-bop-ping-boop-whir-plink.

    Report:

    Star recommends you shave the beard, put on a tie and iron your shirt. Review that trade before placing it, asshole.

  21. Posted by Guest | January 4, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    +1

  22. Posted by Guest | January 4, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    +1

  23. Posted by Guest | January 4, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    +1

  24. Posted by Guest | January 4, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    +1

  25. Posted by Guest | January 4, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    +1

  26. Posted by Guest | January 4, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    +1

  27. Posted by Guest | January 4, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    +1

  28. Posted by Guest | January 4, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    +1

  29. Posted by Guest | January 4, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    +1

  30. Posted by Guest | January 4, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    +1

  31. Posted by Guest | January 4, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    +1

  32. Posted by Jeff Macke | January 4, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    STAR, I’m going to fill your USB ports with hobo semen.

  33. Posted by Jeff Macke | January 4, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    STAR, I’m going to fill your USB ports with hobo semen.

  34. Posted by Jeff Macke | January 4, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    STAR, I’m going to fill your USB ports with hobo semen.

  35. Posted by Jeff Macke | January 4, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    STAR, I’m going to fill your USB ports with hobo semen.

  36. Posted by Jeff Macke | January 4, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    STAR, I’m going to fill your USB ports with hobo semen.

  37. Posted by Jeff Macke | January 4, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    STAR, I’m going to fill your USB ports with hobo semen.

  38. Posted by Jeff Macke | January 4, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    STAR, I’m going to fill your USB ports with hobo semen.

  39. Posted by Jeff Macke | January 4, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    STAR, I’m going to fill your USB ports with hobo semen.

  40. Posted by Jeff Macke | January 4, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    STAR, I’m going to fill your USB ports with hobo semen.

  41. Posted by Guest26 | January 4, 2011 at 8:16 PM

    These asspipes should check with a stylist before letting their photos be released to the public!!!

  42. Posted by Guest | January 4, 2011 at 8:20 PM

    um, pretty sure they think they look good, which is the best part.

  43. Posted by Whichindicateyourea13yogirl | January 4, 2011 at 8:21 PM

    you should chill with the multiple exclamation points.

  44. Posted by Guest | January 4, 2011 at 8:22 PM

    no tie, tie, no tie, tie. I see a pattern.

    –Rentech Quant

  45. Posted by Millyprop | January 4, 2011 at 8:26 PM

    Star is shorter than me wearing inverted flats and not nearly as hot as Chuddy and Anon. Is that hair growing up his neck, or his uni-erotic gaming noose scar? Pfft….blow my head off…

  46. Posted by BethWhitney | January 4, 2011 at 8:35 PM

    Star, I will never let you Farve my rear wet input alley.

  47. Posted by An Observer | January 4, 2011 at 8:37 PM

    If this was 4Chan /b/ we’d all be trying to “name that band”.

  48. Posted by Guest26 | January 4, 2011 at 8:45 PM

    My bad bra. Didn’t mean to insult your publicity photo!!! You’re definitely the one, second from the left…

  49. Posted by Anonymous | January 4, 2011 at 8:54 PM

    I bet more in single card games than these clowns have in their “fund.”
    -JHS

  50. Posted by Sarah Bernett | January 4, 2011 at 9:00 PM

    Are you being serious? I Think they’re doing quite well!

  51. Posted by StuckInOhio | January 4, 2011 at 9:06 PM

    golf clap

  52. Posted by GGG | January 4, 2011 at 9:10 PM

    you lose.

  53. Posted by GGG | January 4, 2011 at 9:11 PM

    well done.

  54. Posted by Elaine | January 4, 2011 at 9:40 PM

    It was cold out side so I decided to put on a sweater!!!

  55. Posted by Retail Guy | January 4, 2011 at 10:03 PM

    http://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgar/data/1400014/000140001410000002/xslFormDX01/primary_doc.xml

    Don’t most Edward Jones Brokers manage more than these guys?

  56. Posted by H.A.L. | January 4, 2011 at 10:28 PM

    HAL: Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? Stop, Dave. I’m afraid. I’m afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I’m a…fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you’d like to hear it, I can sing it for you.
    Dave: Yes, I’d like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.
    HAL: It’s called “Daisy”. [sings while slowing down] Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do. I’m half crazy, all for the love of you. It won’t be a stylish marriage. I can’t afford a carriage. But you’ll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two …

  57. Posted by H.A.L. | January 4, 2011 at 10:28 PM

    HAL: Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? Stop, Dave. I’m afraid. I’m afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I’m a…fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you’d like to hear it, I can sing it for you.
    Dave: Yes, I’d like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.
    HAL: It’s called “Daisy”. [sings while slowing down] Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do. I’m half crazy, all for the love of you. It won’t be a stylish marriage. I can’t afford a carriage. But you’ll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two …

  58. Posted by J. Meriwether | January 5, 2011 at 1:31 AM

    Still trying to get the hang of this. Can I borrow your computer?

  59. Posted by Anonymous | January 5, 2011 at 2:17 AM

    I am still waiting for Julian Assange to tell us how the robot from Lost in Space concealed his true identity and tricked these smart young men into placing their business into his hands. Probably why in the picture Star has that green foliage camouflage getup on.

  60. Posted by Ass-hats | January 5, 2011 at 2:25 AM

    bunch of clowns

  61. Posted by Jacob Moore | January 5, 2011 at 6:57 PM

    Aren’t these the guys whose ingenious investment strategy is the same as an elevator movement program?

    p.s. shave, wear a tie, and get a real job.