Last month, UBS issued a 44-page set of style commandments for its client-facing employees that included wearing flesh-colored undergarments (never anything red or otherwise flashy), not eating garlic (or anything else that might cause breath issues), how to tie a tie, how to apply make-up, what kind of cologne and perfume to use, a strong opinion against facial hair and one in favor of watches (which demonstrate “trustworthiness and a serious concern for punctuality”).
We printed said rules here. Apparently the bank, preferring not to have the curtain pulled back on how its employees look and smell so damn good, was a bit embarrassed for people to see how much of a hand management has in dressing its staff and slapping odorous food out of its mouths. According to a spokeswoman, UBS will be scaling back the list “a more modest booklet that will concentrate on how to impress customers with a polished presence and sense of Swiss precision,” after “reviewing what is important to us.” [AP]
UBS sucks
new employee guidelines: just try not look like a total idiot and wash your hands after JO&C
You are doing god’s work.
so I’m still good?
-gm ipo guy who smells great
If all that’s making the news is their Dress Code, UBS is doing OK.
They are still mum about proper repositories for diamonds being smuggled on behalf of their PWM clients.
Why does everyone think they suck?
Sir, you are doing the gods’ work.
-Pranav
Does going commando count as wearing flesh-colored undergarments?
It’s a myth, dreamed up by some crafty UBS-er looking to get his salad tossed without buying shiny things for his side piece.
It’s a myth, dreamed up by some crafty UBS-er looking to get his salad tossed without buying shiny things for his side piece.
Mr. Pranav,
Invoking the god in above trailing chat perhaps in appropriate till directed by ethics group.
King regards,
Pradheep
Mr. Pranav,
Invoking the god in above trailing chat perhaps in appropriate till directed by ethics group.
King regards,
Pradheep
Obviously you’re not a golfer.
How about vajazzling?
Can I keep garlic on my underpants?
The UBS dress code appears to be extreme relative to its industry peers.
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS9HOJ_HRlZvsErv7Din7TVXoidHQvANKe0DrV7GjIQQ64hK5AJ
I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I’ll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I’ll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
Come on, man. Not on the rug.
Hey man, thanks for copy and pasting American Psycho quotes – not sure what I’d do without you.
Hey man, thanks for copy and pasting American Psycho quotes – not sure what I’d do without you.
Get a god-damn job Al.
cliched, shitty AP quotes > your comments.
co-signed
when will he give the fuck up?