As some of you may remember, back in fall 2008, Congressman Dennis Kucinich was not at all happy about the idea of bailing out Wall Street. “Let Wall Street bailout Wall Street,” he screeched. “The bailout bill is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen,” he said. “Is this the United States Congress or the Board of Directors Of Goldman Sachs?” he asked, losing his shit. He was taking this thing very, very hard and some wondered if perhaps he was having some personal problems. In fact, he was.

You see, just a month after Bear Stearns went down for the dirt nap, and a few prior to Lehman biting the big one, Dennis had an unfortunate run-in with some olives. Olives that he thought were pitted, considering the sandwich on which he purchased them was represented as such. Such, however, was not the case. Those fuckers had pits in them and resulted in an unknowing Kucinich suffering serious emotional and physical distress. We know this because now, three years later, he’s suing the cafeteria that sold him the sando, for $150,000.

A copy of the suit obtained by the Cleveland Plain Dealer documents the April 2008 incident, in which Kucinich purchased a sandwich wrap he says was “represented to contain pitted olives.” After consuming it, Kucinich found the olives were not pitted, causing “serious and permanent dental and oral injuries” that required “multiple surgical and dental procedures.”

Kucinich’s suit also claims he “sustained other damages,” including “significant pain, suffering and loss of enjoyment.” He also accuses the four firms of breach of implied warranty

Sorry if he said some stuff that seemed harsh at the time.

[LATimes]

Comments (31)

  1. Posted by Baba | January 26, 2011 at 10:18 PM

    SHE married HIM???

  2. Posted by Supraman | January 26, 2011 at 10:30 PM

    Sooo, I’m guessing tort reform will not be high on his legislative agenda this year.

  3. Posted by Nice ride! | January 26, 2011 at 10:32 PM

    Built like an elf (and not a hot Lord of the Rings type elf either), married to a raging hot redhead, suing all around for 6 figures after banking big bucks as a congressman and a sweet pension for life.

    Is this a great country of what? Now, if he becomes a spoesperson for securitized lawsuit settlements, well, that = cherry on top!

  4. Posted by Guest | January 26, 2011 at 10:33 PM

    “banking big bucks as a congressman”

    um..how much money do you think congressmen make?

  5. Posted by Supraman | January 26, 2011 at 10:36 PM

    She only looks “raging hot” because she’s standing next to garden weasel. Otherwise she’s maybe a 6.

  6. Posted by Nice ride! | January 26, 2011 at 10:47 PM

    about $160k a year (ie more than DK may have otherwise made…adn putting him quarely in the top 1% of his district, I’m guessing)

  7. Posted by nice ride! | January 26, 2011 at 10:49 PM

    Nope..met her. I give her an 8 dialed down from 9 because I often build in too high of a redhead premium. We all have our weaknesses.

  8. Posted by Anonymous | January 26, 2011 at 11:02 PM

    Don’t forget the K Street fees post-term

  9. Posted by Guest | January 26, 2011 at 11:03 PM

    so, the same amount as a first year analyst. cool.

  10. Posted by Sean Hannity | January 26, 2011 at 11:18 PM

    That’s a fathers worst nightmare in that picture…..your daughter marries a liberal pussy who could pass for a lawn decoration and will never be president but insists on running every cycle…..he must get heckled something brutal at the Cleveland Elks lodge.

  11. Posted by Sergeant Lex | January 27, 2011 at 12:11 AM

    It doesn’t show in that picture then. I think a 6 is *very* generous.

  12. Posted by Steven | January 27, 2011 at 12:11 AM

    You’ve got to be shitting me… 6 MAX

  13. Posted by Strangefiction | January 27, 2011 at 12:15 AM

    I thought that was Linda Hunt with her adopted daughter?

  14. Posted by trojan | January 27, 2011 at 12:19 AM

    No, my worst nightmare is more along the lines of a Power Forward or Fullback… you know…
    -R. Limbaugh

  15. Posted by Anonymous | January 27, 2011 at 1:38 AM

    at Morgan Stanley you get a LinkedIn account too

  16. Posted by Buddy | January 27, 2011 at 1:42 AM

    You’re an angry elf. Does Santa know about this?

  17. Posted by Nice ride! | January 27, 2011 at 1:47 AM

    Yeah but a first year analyst needs to take it up the ass, too.

    Plus first year analysts don’t get Dealbreaker stories unless they walk into a helicopter blade and/or get hired by Mr. Jiang. Or have great racks.

    Just sayin’. It’s all about the ethical standards.

  18. Posted by Guest | January 27, 2011 at 2:20 AM

    ‘We are the jockeys, jockeys are we – we live underground in a fibre glass tree’

  19. Posted by RedDead | January 27, 2011 at 5:38 AM

    Lights on, pitted olives in my left hand, unpitted olives in my right, scream mask on me, gag ball on him, while giving some serious oral injuries.

  20. Posted by Irish.Curse | January 27, 2011 at 8:11 AM

    she’s a 10, comprised of 2 consecutively-layered 5-heads.

  21. Posted by guest | January 27, 2011 at 1:47 PM

    EYM

  22. Posted by Guest | January 27, 2011 at 2:48 PM

    I would not break out my chase debit card for this broad. That’s all I’m sayin’.

  23. Posted by Guest | January 27, 2011 at 3:15 PM

    He married her because she came free with the Irish flag.

  24. Posted by StuckInOhio | January 27, 2011 at 3:46 PM

    Un-fucking-beliavable. She’s half his age and twice his height. And she got a pierced tongue.

  25. Posted by Anonymous | January 27, 2011 at 3:49 PM

    She is an 8, possibly 9, for a hippie chick. Use your own discount factor from there.

  26. Posted by Anonymous | January 27, 2011 at 3:49 PM

    She is an 8, possibly 9, for a hippie chick. Use your own discount factor from there.

  27. Posted by Anonymous | January 27, 2011 at 3:49 PM

    She is an 8, possibly 9, for a hippie chick. Use your own discount factor from there.

  28. Posted by tits | January 27, 2011 at 4:34 PM

    I’d have sex with that paragon of virtue standing to the right of the dwarf.

  29. Posted by tits | January 27, 2011 at 4:34 PM

    I’d have sex with that paragon of virtue standing to the right of the dwarf.

  30. Posted by Anonymous | January 27, 2011 at 5:57 PM

    Just keep Little Dennis away from Cleveland, he bankrupt the city once….don’t let him do it again

  31. Posted by Buy Me A New Car Daddy | January 27, 2011 at 9:22 PM

    Fred Thompson is the new GOP lobbyist for the Trial Lawyers- guess Tort Reform is off the table on both sides of the aisle……the settlement will cover a couple of belated holiday presents from Mini Me.

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