For those of you who failed to mark it down on your calendars, please be advised that today is Vikram Pandit’s birthday (his 54th to be exact). Normally we’d tell you to drop what you’re doing and pick up something for him A-SAP but this year we’d advise you to go the no presents route. Not because Vickles is one of those faux modest jerks who says “no gifts, just your company” while not really meaning it but because we can say with absolute certainty that you will not top the gift to end all gifts Vikula is already poised to receive. Dick Parsons, if you’ll do the honors.
“Pandit Set to Report His First Annual Profit as Citigroup CEO“
That’s right everyone. This is finally happening. And that’s not all. In addition to living every CEO’s dream, the day Vikram will “make more than $1 a year” is so close he can taste it. If you absolutely must give him something, consider an item that will commemorate this historic occasion, like a hoodie with the words “Big Baller” stitched on the back or a motorcycle with a “Fuck You” license plate.
wow, I thought it was going to be –
“Al-Waleed allows Vickes to Pitch” Just this once because its your birthday, and then back on your knees, funny guy
is dealbreaker really the right venue for your sexual fantasies?
I knew Vickie when he worked at MS. Not a decent brain cell in that skull. I will never, never, never understand why Citi bought his hedge fund for a gazillion dollars and made this clown CEO.
Profit? He must have been sleeping this quarter. Watch for the crash next quarter.
you sound pretty bitter. want to say something that hasn’t been said a million times before and/or offer any actual insight you supposedly acquired while working with VP?
Citi PR never sleeps.
“Are You There Profit? It’s Me, Vikram”
phenomenal reply to someone asking for substantive evidence that a guy with a masters in electrical engineering and a phd doesn’t have a single “decent brain cell.”
+1
“It’s not Profit, it’s Profeet in Bangalore. How may I help you today?”
Larry: He said “no gifts.”
Susie: Nobody means that. You took that seriously?
Don’t look at labels, everybody’s got them, look at how his fund did when the elevator stopped going up. (Hint: it shit to bed). Now back to your boss to ask for the proper reply.
Personally Id rather recieve the chocolate covered strawberries from Edible Arrangements
Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal gave Vikram a thoroughbred camel and a white Toyota 4-Runner to shout commands at the jockey–a cloned Dick Bove midget. Mini-Dick’s powers are only exceeded by their mystery…..
Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal gave Vikram a thoroughbred camel and a white Toyota 4-Runner to shout commands at the jockey–a cloned Dick Bove midget. Mini-Dick’s powers are only exceeded by their mystery…..
Purely out of curiosity, how would one acquire a “Big Baller” hoodie if one were so inclined?
Purely out of curiosity, how would one acquire a “Big Baller” hoodie if one were so inclined?
I’ve got a guy in Queens who makes mine…he’ll do the letters in Swarovski crystals if you want.
Accounting shenanigans. This so called “profit” for the year was the result of not filling up the cash machine at the 42nd and Lex branch until Jan 2nd.
Accounting shenanigans. This so called “profit” for the year was the result of not filling up the cash machine at the 42nd and Lex branch until Jan 2nd.
Accounting shenanigans. This so called “profit” for the year was the result of not filling up the cash machine at the 42nd and Lex branch until Jan 2nd.
Please, please, please, the Zen garden is all I want. F the profit next quarter.
AKC Magazine is the right venue for my sexual fantasies.
AKC Magazine is the right venue for my sexual fantasies.
profit is unavailable right now, leave a message after the beep
profit is unavailable right now, leave a message after the beep
Tsk, tsk.
Jealous, lately?
kill yourself.
Talk to me when you have some Economic Value Added, whatever that is.
Inside the computer???