Reuters reports that SAC Capital has taken a 5.3 percent stake in Domino’s Pizza, making it the fifth-largest investor, at 3.2 million shares. While Cohen doesn’t appear to have plans to meddle with management, he most certainly will be doing his part to enhance the brand, not only in an attempt to maximize profits but out of a love for bread, sauce and cheese. He’ll be counting on every one of his soldiers to help him take DPZ to the next level and to that end, here’s a short list of what SAC employees can expect moving forward:
* Innovation will be key to keeping things fresh; new recipes (panini pies, slices dipped in chocolate sauce, toppings like full-sized chicken wings and more) will be tested on the staff, who are advised to wear pants that give
* SAC employees of Steve’s choosing will be stationed in high-traffic areas as delivery boys for research purposes (you will not get to keep your tips)
* Those “garish windbreakers” will be replaced by you know what
* Use of the DPZamboni as the standard delivery vehicle (it can do 80 on 95)
* Product-placement is huge- SC has been working on getting Domino’s featured in a few upcoming pizza delivery-boy themed pornos, which will likely need some unknown actors– the sign-up sheet for try-outs is in the lobby
* Not suggest you pump the stock but: 25% of bonuses to be determined by height of pile of empty cheesy bread boxes amassed at your desk
* Anyone seen eating pizza from a competitor will have the slice slapped out of their mouth and warned “that’s one” (after one you don’t want to know what happens)
* TBD
goal #5, must be able to throw a football farther than the douche wad from Pappa John’s
never attempt humor again.
What will he bring to Dominoes? Knowing Steve, probably 10 same-day orders for an extra pepperoni and cheese pizza to his desk, where he will polish them off under his desk.
What will he bring to Dominoes? Knowing Steve, probably 10 same-day orders for an extra pepperoni and cheese pizza to his desk, where he will polish them off under his desk.
What will he bring to Dominoes? Knowing Steve, probably 10 same-day orders for an extra pepperoni and cheese pizza to his desk, where he will polish them off under his desk.
*Use of the DPZamboni as the standard delivery vehicle.
*Use of the DPZamboni as the standard delivery vehicle.
*Use of the DPZamboni as the standard delivery vehicle.
now with a free extra topping of Steve Cohen’s kosher salami
now with a free extra topping of Steve Cohen’s kosher salami
now with a free extra topping of Steve Cohen’s kosher salami
YES; adding up top.
YES; adding up top.
I find the chick that is on Bloomberg right now as the most bangeable of the Bloomberg / CNBC U.S. based staff.
Classy lady. Picturing her bringing me a coffee wearing black lingerie.
AAAAAHHHH SHEEEIIITTTT! MAAAH FUKAAH SAID DESK!
Kill yourself.
Thanks for sharing; you know what I find? That you should make your comment relevant to the post or shut the hell up.
And it’s ‘bangable.’
Thanks for sharing; you know what I find? That you should make your comment relevant to the post or shut the hell up.
And it’s ‘bangable.’
You do realize, dumb-asses, that by the time this report hits the news I might be out of my position in this shit making company?
-SC
You do realize, dumb-asses, that by the time this report hits the news I might be out of my position in this shit making company?
-SC
dumb asses- not something that needs to be hyphenated. retard.
-SC
What is next? Domino’s Pizza advertising on DealBreaker??? —–>>>
What is next? Domino’s Pizza advertising on DealBreaker??? —–>>>
Not a coincidence that Beamer’s is half way between Cummings Point Rd. and the downtown Stamford Domino’s location….
Not a coincidence that Beamer’s is half way between Cummings Point Rd. and the downtown Stamford Domino’s location….
Not a coincidence that Beamer’s is half way between Cummings Point Rd. and the downtown Stamford Domino’s location….
Not a coincidence that Beamer’s is half way between Cummings Point Rd. and the downtown Stamford Domino’s location….
Not a coincidence that Beamer’s is half way between Cummings Point Rd. and the downtown Stamford Domino’s location….
Not a coincidence that Beamer’s is half way between Cummings Point Rd. and the downtown Stamford Domino’s location….
Not a coincidence that Beamer’s is half way between Cummings Point Rd. and the downtown Stamford Domino’s location….
Not a coincidence that Beamer’s is half way between Cummings Point Rd. and the downtown Stamford Domino’s location….
Go Bess!
Go Bess!
Go Bess!
Go Bess!
except that he’s not, so.
-someone in stamford who might get fired for leaving this comment but doesn’t feel like letting your attempt to appear witty and/or in the know re steve stand
except that he’s not, so.
-someone in stamford who might get fired for leaving this comment but doesn’t feel like letting your attempt to appear witty and/or in the know re steve stand
except that he’s not, so.
-someone in stamford who might get fired for leaving this comment but doesn’t feel like letting your attempt to appear witty and/or in the know re steve stand
except that he’s not, so.
-someone in stamford who might get fired for leaving this comment but doesn’t feel like letting your attempt to appear witty and/or in the know re steve stand
except that he’s not, so.
-someone in stamford who might get fired for leaving this comment but doesn’t feel like letting your attempt to appear witty and/or in the know re steve stand
except that he’s not, so.
-someone in stamford who might get fired for leaving this comment but doesn’t feel like letting your attempt to appear witty and/or in the know re steve stand
except that he’s not, so.
-someone in stamford who might get fired for leaving this comment but doesn’t feel like letting your attempt to appear witty and/or in the know re steve stand
except that he’s not, so.
-someone in stamford who might get fired for leaving this comment but doesn’t feel like letting your attempt to appear witty and/or in the know re steve stand
except that he’s not, so.
-someone in stamford who might get fired for leaving this comment but doesn’t feel like letting your attempt to appear witty and/or in the know re steve stand
except that he’s not, so.
-someone in stamford who might get fired for leaving this comment but doesn’t feel like letting your attempt to appear witty and/or in the know re steve stand
wow, thanks for sharing that piece of wisdom. is that how it works with investing and particularly at SAC? people get in and out of positions quickly? you must be pretty big time to know that and tell us about it.
One change – I bet they won’t show that “Domino’s Main Street Bailout” commercial anymore. And I quote: “[Domino's CEODavid Brandon]: I’m not bailing out the fat cats on Wall St. – sorry Mr. Hedge Fund! [steals pizza box from man in business suit] – I’m bailing out you hard-working people on Main Street!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nggsJI6Aro
which would go on a pizza with cheese on it? Would it come with Canadian bacon, too?
you’re right, it’s not :)
-beamers girl who’s had a SAC employee request she let them eat pepperoni off her tits on MORE than one occasion
There are very few things I love more than Domino’s heavy metal pizza tracker.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBJ0Mtuw13k
I like Bess. Is she available?
Hire Nails to dress up as The Noid in innovative new ad campaign
The pizzas are made in a field of tomatoes, not by machine, okay
-guy who’s seen way too many Dominoes commercials during the playoffs.
nope.
I heard they would start giving away free breadsticks for insider tips.
-SEC investigator
Is that all you do? Tell people to kill themselves? Hey, asshole knock it the fuck off and calm down! Cut the bullshit. We ain’t on a fuckin’ playground! I don’t beleive this shit. You guys got ten years on me and I’m the only one acting like a professional. You guys act like a bunch of fuckin’ *******s. You wanna be ******s, huh? They’re just like you two – always fightin’ and always sayin’ their gonna kill each other…
-Mr. Pink
Did you know that SAC named this Project MONISTAT 7 because this deal is extra cheezy!
Did you know that SAC named this Project MONISTAT 7 because this deal is extra cheezy!
Did you know that SAC named this Project MONISTAT 7 because this deal is extra cheezy!
Buse?
Buse?
Buse?
Buse?
Buse?
I hope he comes on my pizza, literally. I want his cum on my pizza.
Edinburgh-style deep-fried pizza slices (don’t knock ‘em till you’ve tried ‘em)
-former UE student
The SEC will start wiring tapping Dominos delivery boys for insider trading tips, only to hear Lincoln Park’s newest album on repeat for hours.
head chef.
head chef.
i heard your uncle molests collies
The new dress code will include a mandatory fleece vest with at least 15 pieces of flair.
Busey? Communion wafers for Church of Gary Busey:
http://www.myspace.com/churchofgarybusey
Busey? Communion wafers for Church of Gary Busey:
http://www.myspace.com/churchofgarybusey
Fail
Fail
*White pizza now includes shark meat and zesty formaldehyde sauce.
This is just a ploy for SAC to get insider tips – Write insider information inside the pizza boxes.
Example: ‘No more target’ for pizza headed to Greenlight Capital
This is just a ploy for SAC to get insider tips – Write insider information inside the pizza boxes.
Example: ‘No more target’ for pizza headed to Greenlight Capital
What will happen to the Norwalk KFC?
Dealbreaker would never (Columbia) stoop so low (Saturday classes) as to mix advertising (EMBA) within the commentary.
I think it’s a good move on Steve’s part, because billionaires always know how to read the fast food industry pretty well. He’s like wunderkind Nelson Peltz.
::.Another “witty” insider trading joke.::
I love me some DP…wait, wha?
I love me some DP…wait, wha?