Remember Richard Hansen? His story is a bit complicated but essentially: there was a married woman named Donna Murdoch who was a bit hard up for money (she and her husband owed $1.45 million on a subprime home mortgage) and decided the way to tackle her debt was to make some money trading on material non-public information. Getting the tips was easy enough– she met an Ernst and Young partner named James Gansman who advised companies doing mergers and was more than happy to give them to her. Only problem was, Murdoch didn’t have the cash to trade on Gansman’s inside info, so she had to get back on AshleyMadison and find another guy who could front the money. That guy was the 71 year-old Hansen, who gave her a job at Keystone Equities Group (where he was chairman), plus some of his penis on the side.

Both Murdoch and Hansen traded on Gansman’s tips (neither guy knew about the other, by the by) and now, Hansen, who netted a mere $60,000 from the scam, faces up to 16 months in prison after pleading guilty to conspiracy and securities fraud tied.

‘Sex and stocks’ plea deal [NYP]

Comments (38)

  1. Posted by Guestor The Magnificent | February 11, 2011 at 2:26 PM

    The “side of penis” tag is screaming out to be used.

  2. Posted by Anonymous | February 11, 2011 at 2:28 PM

    If it were a line in the original story, yes. But in this case it would just be me quoting myself, so house rules say no.

  3. Posted by Anonymous | February 11, 2011 at 2:29 PM

    looks like Donna went a little further than “just the tip” – that will always get you into troubs

  4. Posted by ERCOT Reliability Manager | February 11, 2011 at 2:34 PM

    One of my golfing buddies told me he had been getting “some” on the side lately and I said, “Man it’s been so long for me I didn’t know they moved it!”

  5. Posted by Asdf | February 11, 2011 at 2:35 PM

    Did she do anal? Other than that, I have no concerns.

  6. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | February 11, 2011 at 2:37 PM

    All of this because someone invented Viagra.

    Bizarre.

  7. Posted by Anonymous | February 11, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    Heh, “tips.”

  8. Posted by Ditch Diggers | February 11, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    The vagine is my third favorite hole…….

    ~ Johnny ‘Drama’ Chase

  9. Posted by Ditch Diggers | February 11, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    The vagine is my third favorite hole…….

    ~ Johnny ‘Drama’ Chase

  10. Posted by Guest | February 11, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    Nice name. Now I know who to blame for the rolling black outs.

    -East Texas NatGas Trader.

  11. Posted by Guest | February 11, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    Nice name. Now I know who to blame for the rolling black outs.

    -East Texas NatGas Trader.

  12. Posted by Abacus Quant | February 11, 2011 at 2:55 PM

    No comment.

  13. Posted by Luminant Coal Plant Operator | February 11, 2011 at 2:57 PM

    Me too.

  14. Posted by Geezer Trader | February 11, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    God bless the team tht invented Viagra.

  15. Posted by Shecky Hilton | February 11, 2011 at 3:10 PM

    “As I lay in bed Dick approached me. He took a deep breath and began. His chest contorted wildly as he closed his eyes and his wild fingers began to go to work, squeezing and wrenching, his torso pulsing with each fervent effort. His face turned a bright red and beads of sweat began to dot his forehead. I knew his efforts would be over soon, now, as I watched his brow furrow and he began to emit a high pitched squeal as bits of saliva came out of the ssides of his mouth…….

    Finally, exhausted, he collapse on the bed and said, “Why do they put these fucking pickle jar lids on so damn tight??”

  16. Posted by Shecky Hilton | February 11, 2011 at 3:10 PM

    “As I lay in bed Dick approached me. He took a deep breath and began. His chest contorted wildly as he closed his eyes and his wild fingers began to go to work, squeezing and wrenching, his torso pulsing with each fervent effort. His face turned a bright red and beads of sweat began to dot his forehead. I knew his efforts would be over soon, now, as I watched his brow furrow and he began to emit a high pitched squeal as bits of saliva came out of the ssides of his mouth…….

    Finally, exhausted, he collapse on the bed and said, “Why do they put these fucking pickle jar lids on so damn tight??”

  17. Posted by Guest | February 11, 2011 at 3:11 PM

    We are closely monitoring these types of websites.

    - SEC Enforcement

  18. Posted by Guest | February 11, 2011 at 3:11 PM

    We are closely monitoring these types of websites.

    - SEC Enforcement

  19. Posted by Covey 01 | February 11, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    Arguably, I find it great to be getting some tail at that age. If you have some pillow talk as well, then all the power to you.

  20. Posted by John Arnold ????? | February 11, 2011 at 3:42 PM

    short Nat Gas

  21. Posted by John Arnold ????? | February 11, 2011 at 3:42 PM

    short Nat Gas

  22. Posted by John Arnold ????? | February 11, 2011 at 3:42 PM

    short Nat Gas

  23. Posted by Guest | February 11, 2011 at 3:50 PM

    o rly?

    -CHK “Quant”

  24. Posted by StuckInOhio | February 11, 2011 at 4:00 PM

    “plus some of his penis on the side. ”

    Thanks Bess, spit coffee all over BBG keyboard.

  25. Posted by Pickles | February 11, 2011 at 4:11 PM

    Thanks Shecky…an oldie but it still made me guffaw.

  26. Posted by Pickles | February 11, 2011 at 4:11 PM

    Thanks Shecky…an oldie but it still made me guffaw.

  27. Posted by Pickles | February 11, 2011 at 4:11 PM

    Thanks Shecky…an oldie but it still made me guffaw.

  28. Posted by trojan | February 11, 2011 at 4:20 PM

    the house always wins bess

  29. Posted by Spanishmoon | February 11, 2011 at 4:23 PM

    Is anyone between the ages of 17 and 71 getting any these days? Low bonuses = chick repellant

  30. Posted by T. Kivisto | February 11, 2011 at 4:38 PM

    Never take a loss.

  31. Posted by Shecky Diller | February 11, 2011 at 4:39 PM

    Bonus? You guys hardly know us!

  32. Posted by Guest | February 11, 2011 at 5:32 PM

    I can state, calmly and confidently and without any sense of unease nor gilt nor painful pleasure, that my return is NOT generated this way.

    - Ping

  33. Posted by Guest | February 11, 2011 at 5:32 PM

    I can state, calmly and confidently and without any sense of unease nor gilt nor painful pleasure, that my return is NOT generated this way.

    - Ping

  34. Posted by Guest | February 11, 2011 at 5:32 PM

    I can state, calmly and confidently and without any sense of unease nor gilt nor painful pleasure, that my return is NOT generated this way.

    - Ping

  35. Posted by Guest | February 11, 2011 at 5:32 PM

    I can state, calmly and confidently and without any sense of unease nor gilt nor painful pleasure, that my return is NOT generated this way.

    - Ping

  36. Posted by Guest | February 11, 2011 at 5:32 PM

    I can state, calmly and confidently and without any sense of unease nor gilt nor painful pleasure, that my return is NOT generated this way.

    - Ping

  37. Posted by genxandy | February 12, 2011 at 5:44 PM

    Maybe if she and her husband were not greedy they would not have gotten themselves into such a situation. Why would they have a $1.45 million on a subprime home mortgage? Did they get a house that was alittle too much for them to afford? I have a saying “Don’t be greedy, and you’ll always be happy.”. And it’s true!

  38. Posted by Finn Alexander | February 13, 2011 at 4:50 PM

    Oh, it comes with penis? Splendid.

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