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Convicted Sex Offender Jeffrey Epstein Would Like To Get A Few Things Straight

First off, that business he went to jail for? You know, the having underage girls give him massages while he used vibrators on them and then jerked off into a towel (there was some other stuff but this was his go-to move)? People are blowing it wayyy out of proportion. They’re acting like he murdered someone when, in reality, his crime was basically on par with “stealing a bagel.”

“I’m not a sexual predator, I’m an ‘offender,’ ” the financier told The Post yesterday. “It’s the difference between a murderer and a person who steals a bagel,” said Epstein.Epstein’s flippant reasoning aside, a New York judge ruled at a hearing last month that the moneyman is the most dangerous kind of sex offender: a Level 3. That means, according to the state, Epstein is at “high risk” to repeat his offense and poses “a threat to public safety.” But Epstein doesn’t seem bothered by the designation. “The crime that was supposedly committed in Florida is not a crime in New York,” he said.

And given that he’s currently in New York, he’s just sayin’…lock up your daughters! You never know when a craving will strike.

Billionaire Jeffrey Epstein: I’m a sex offender, not a predator [NYP via BI]

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23 Responses to “Convicted Sex Offender Jeffrey Epstein Would Like To Get A Few Things Straight”

  1. Covey 01 says:

    In China he would be praised as a sexual master of the universe. What a bum.

  2. Guest says:

    That’s his line he used on the Prince too to get him to stay.

    “Prince Andrew’s choice of friends called into question AGAIN after four-day stay with a sex offender”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1358954/Prince-Andrews-choice-friends-called-question-AGAIN-day-stay-sex-offender.html

  3. MrBateman says:

    After a quick visit to Wikipedia

    “After the accusations became public, several parties returned donations they had received from Epstein, including Eliot L. Spitzer, Mark A. Green, Bill Richardson, and the Palm Beach Police Department. Harvard announced that it would not return any money.”

    …awkward…

  4. Economist says:

    I’m predicting an egg-shaped recovery for Epstein.

  5. Guest says:

    There’s a joke somewhere in here about a guy from Florida stealing a bagel for his egg in New York, but I’m too tired and hungover to figure it out.

  6. Joe says:

    “I’m a sexual offender not a sexual predator” is the new “depends on what the definition of is, is”

  7. Sir Dodson says:

    hide yo kids, hide yo wives, and hide yo husbands…

  8. BrrrrWoowwwwwzzzzzrrr says:

    It’s a closed chapter of his life.

    -Gundlach

  9. CFA Institute says:

    Congratulations Mr. Epstien you have achieved Level 3. Less than 34% of the sex offenders achieved Level 3 status this year.

  10. CFA Institute says:

    Congratulations Mr. Epstien you have achieved Level 3. Less than 34% of the sex offenders achieved Level 3 status this year.

  11. CFA Institute says:

    Congratulations Mr. Epstien you have achieved Level 3. Less than 34% of the sex offenders achieved Level 3 status this year.

  12. CFA Institute says:

    Congratulations Mr. Epstien you have achieved Level 3. Less than 34% of the sex offenders achieved Level 3 status this year.

  13. C. Sheen says:

    This dude’s an F-18 bro. Leave him alone.

  14. donk says:

    Hide your kids, hide your wife
    And hide your husband
    Cuz he rapin errbody out there
    You don’t have to come and confess
    We’re lookin for you
    We gon find you
    So you can run and tell that,
    Run and tell that, homeboy

    We got your t-shirt
    You done left fingerprints and all
    You are so dumb
    You are really dumb–for real

  15. Richard Cripples says:

    “I am not a rapist, I just masturbate using someone else’s body. It’s the difference between a murderer and someone who has sex with very sleepy girls.”

    – B Roethlisberger

  16. Jack says:

    I don’t think you have to worry about hiding your daughter – unless your daughters are whores anyway. Don’t forget that the actual agreed upon facts of the case are that each of these teenage girls went to his house willingly,knowing what was wanted, and getting paid for it. They also all told him they were 18. The man might be a lech, but if those girls weren’t willing to sell their bodies for money nothing would have happened

    • Cynthia RC says:

      Jack, do you know that most underage girls prostituting themselves these days are being forced to do so and feel they have no other options because they fear for their lives? You must be either very young or very stupid. Do your research before you go off half-cocked on an issue you obviously no nothing about.

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  18. Joao says:

    I agree while there are many non violent, pabbroly shouldn’t even be in jail inmates serving out full and extreme sentences, child molesters and rapists get off far too easy.While there are grey areas (such as 2 drunk teenagers, both unsure of what the other’s wants or intentions are, for example), in the majority of cases of sexual assault or pedophiles there is NO excuse for re introducing someone like that into society. It’s a danger to the innocent people they’ll be coming in contact with.Island surrounded by shark infested waters sounds wonderful to me but then again, so does castration.Just a pet peeve (to put it mildly) of mine. They obviously couldn’t or wouldn’t control themselves before, what makes us believe that they’ve actually changed, given the recidivism rates of molesters and rapists? It’s time to open our eyes and realize that some crimes besides murder DO deserve life sentences.Once they commit that crime, I believe it’s no longer about THEIR rights it then becomes about the victim’s rights. And THAT is what’s important.

  19. Penny Cabiya says:

    My only complaint would be that it seems too much like Facebook. With a whole new platform can we not be a bit more experimental and .