• 16 Feb 2011 at 1:10 PM

Jamie Dimon Ruins The Dream

Like most of you, we like our Jamie Dimon right where we can see him- in our direct line of vision, running JPMorgan, sticking up for banks, going on dates with Lloyd and just being his generally passionate boy-toy CEO self. We can’t imagine JPMorgan without him and don’t want to. In fact, there’s only one other position we’d rather see him in, and that’s running his own bar ‘n grill. Unlike most fantasies, this isn’t one we conjured up with ourselves but rather one that actually came from JD, via his wife, who said a couple years back that one dream of her husband’s was to “open his own restaurant and turning himself into Sam Malone of Cheers.” All we did was flesh the thing out, by picking a venue (the basement of the old Bear Stearns building) and coming up with some fun gimmicks, like $2 dollar shot night. Well, apparently we can put our plans on ice, because today our dream was shattered and not gently.

Dimon, a Democrat, also downplayed persistent speculation he might leave JPMorgan to go into the political arena.

“I love what I do. I want to be here. I want to stay,” he said. “I’m not going into politics and I’m not opening a restaurant.”

Whatever. Like we care.

Dimon: I’m Staying Put And Bank Is Expanding [NYT]

Comments (24)

  1. Posted by Anonymous | February 16, 2011 at 6:41 PM

    alas his cougar knowledge will probably stay put too

  2. Posted by derp | February 16, 2011 at 6:45 PM

    Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got…

  3. Posted by Savage Schrute | February 16, 2011 at 7:02 PM

    Fact: The only position Bess wants to see JD in is shackled to her 4 post bed.

  4. Posted by Prince Charles | February 16, 2011 at 7:23 PM

    Of course having to successfully navigate around 537 shitheads in Washington, DC that spend like drunken sailors is nothing like being in politics or a running a bar.

  5. Posted by Guessst | February 16, 2011 at 7:32 PM

    Fact: The Besser seems more like a Sleigh Bed kinda girl.

  6. Posted by Anonymous | February 16, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    Who will be Norm and Cliff?

  7. Posted by Anonymous | February 16, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    Who will be Norm and Cliff?

  8. Posted by Anonymous | February 16, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    Who will be Norm and Cliff?

  9. Posted by Brian | February 16, 2011 at 7:39 PM

    JD’s house bubbly would probably be Andre.

  10. Posted by Brian | February 16, 2011 at 7:39 PM

    JD’s house bubbly would probably be Andre.

  11. Posted by Brian | February 16, 2011 at 7:39 PM

    JD’s house bubbly would probably be Andre.

  12. Posted by Milksteak | February 16, 2011 at 7:42 PM

    with King Cobra and St. Ides on tap

  13. Posted by Milksteak | February 16, 2011 at 7:42 PM

    with King Cobra and St. Ides on tap

  14. Posted by Barflies | February 16, 2011 at 7:46 PM

    NORM!!!!

  15. Posted by No Undergrad > CFA > MBA | February 16, 2011 at 8:04 PM

    (looking at picture): *unzips pants and starts masturbating furiously*

  16. Posted by Guest | February 16, 2011 at 8:31 PM

    Hmm… these two facts are not mutually exclusive. She just has really long chains that run to the feet of the bed.

  17. Posted by Guest | February 16, 2011 at 8:31 PM

    into a cup?

  18. Posted by Anonymous | February 16, 2011 at 9:23 PM

    Why do chicks find Jamie Dimon so attractive? I’d like to hear a woman explain this

  19. Posted by Anonymous | February 16, 2011 at 9:23 PM

    Why do chicks find Jamie Dimon so attractive? I’d like to hear a woman explain this

  20. Posted by Guest | February 16, 2011 at 10:35 PM

    Because he makes more money than you

  21. Posted by Remember the Alamo | February 16, 2011 at 10:58 PM

    Bess,

    I don’t think you should ask Pee Wee Herman for help in him picking out the venue for the bar is no good – - “the basement of the old Bear Stearns building” – - cuz there isn’t one!

    - – Guy who liked Pee Wee’s Big Adventure Movie

  22. Posted by Anonymous | February 16, 2011 at 10:58 PM

    Fact: JD stops by Bess’ apartment every Wednesday evening when he’s supposedly “working late.” Fact: her patent-leather boots are always amazingly shiny Thursday mornings. Fact: JD seems visibly uncomfortable in Thursday-AM meetings, squirming on his seat throughout.

  23. Posted by Guest | February 16, 2011 at 11:41 PM

    Cliff would be Ken Lewis and Norm could be Loyd B.

  24. Posted by Anonymous | February 17, 2011 at 7:29 AM

    They are talking about Looks….dumb dumb

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