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Julian Robertson Did Not Pay A Horse-Drawn Carriage 10 G’s To Take Him Home To Long Island One Night So He Could Pay NYC Taxes

For the young whippersnappers just getting started on Wall Street, and even for the veterans, legendary investor Julian Robertson has a lot of wisdom to impart. His sagely advice today, however, is not about how to navigate the markets, per se. It’s about pinching a penny and not letting the state of New York make you its bitch.

Julian, you see, has homes in both New York City and in Locust Valley, on Long Island (he has homes elsewhere, of course, as billionaires tend to do but today’s lesson focuses just on these two). When he was filling out his taxes a few years back, he noted that he was a resident of the state of New York but not the city, where he only does businesses. If he had been a resident of the city, he would’ve had to pay a few more million in taxes, so it’s nice for him that it worked out that way. The IRS, however, was skeptical. They didn’t believe JR spent the majority of his nights of the year sleeping on Long Island. They initiated an audit, probably thinking that as a man of considerable wealth and better things to do, Robertson would roll over and take it. Well they thought wrong!

…last fall, the hedge fund billionaire Julian H. Robertson Jr. presented evidence that he had had his assistant painstakingly collect to account for his whereabouts each day, and said that on some late nights he had frantically searched for a car to take him back to Locust Valley, on Long Island, so that he would be outside the city limits before midnight. He convinced the tribunal that he had spent less than half of 2000, the year in question, in the city, and thus did not owe back taxes of $27 million.

So, what have we learned here today? If you don’t want to get taken for a ride by The Man:

1) Make sure you have an assistant who will nearly kill herself helping you legally evade taxes.

2) Make it your BUSINESS to get out of the city before midnight; I don’t care if you have to hitch a ride with a guy in a Honda civic on his way to Canada, bribe a pedicab or steal a bus, you do what it takes.

Good luck out there.

Tax Form Uses Second Home To Flag Residency [NYT]

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36 Responses to “Julian Robertson Did Not Pay A Horse-Drawn Carriage 10 G’s To Take Him Home To Long Island One Night So He Could Pay NYC Taxes”

  1. Cheapskates of America says:

    If he can afford an assistant who only tracks his whereabouts for the IRS, can’t he afford a car and driver, or at least have a DialCar or UTOG account?

    • Milksteak says:

      More baller to make someone else keep track of things than have a system that does it for you automatically. That simple fact is one of the first lessons I teach in Ballernomics 302.

    • I Buy The Drugs says:

      Come on, who remembers their address after 8pm, let alone what car to take.

  2. Cheapskates of America says:

    If he can afford an assistant who only tracks his whereabouts for the IRS, can’t he afford a car and driver, or at least have a DialCar or UTOG account?

  3. Cheapskates of America says:

    If he can afford an assistant who only tracks his whereabouts for the IRS, can’t he afford a car and driver, or at least have a DialCar or UTOG account?

  4. Cheapskates of America says:

    If he can afford an assistant who only tracks his whereabouts for the IRS, can’t he afford a car and driver, or at least have a DialCar or UTOG account?

  5. Pedicab Stud says:

    The man’s a menace.

  6. Jason STATHAM. says:

    This is truly baller.

  7. Guest says:

    I can never find a cab or a car when I need one.

    -guy who doesn’t plan ahead in areas outside work

  8. Guest says:

    I can never find a cab or a car when I need one.

    -guy who doesn’t plan ahead in areas outside work

  9. Anonymous says:

    Julian shoves his fist in the horses vagina so he can make the IRS agent smell his fingers.

    • Cheapskates of America says:

      Extra credit for combining two stories which I never thought could be linked!

      • Anonymous says:

        I think Bess put that one up on a tee. Is it a coincidence that she chose to use “Horse-Drawn Carriage” in the title so close to the horse post from the other day? I would say not. Bess can lead a horse to water but she can’t make it drink unless she puts her fist up its vagina. You see the vagina is a metaphor for the Dealbreaker community (posters) and Bess is the puppet master pulling the fisting strings (the stories).

        Does that make sense?

  10. Guest says:

    3) Keep your money with UBS or Credit Suisse.

  11. Guest says:

    IRS Agent: But tell me this Mr Robertson, how do you know so much about Oops I crapped my pants?

    JR: Because I’m wearing them know, and I just did.

  12. Guest says:

    IRS Agent: But tell me this Mr Robertson, how do you know so much about Oops I crapped my pants?

    JR: Because I’m wearing them know, and I just did.

  13. JR says:

    Why would an IRS agent be investigating NYC tax liability? IRS agents have more important things to do – like making sure than tanning salons are paying over the 10% tanning tax.

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