Nails laid it all out on the table during an interview with Howard Eskin, who he last told, “I’m a lightning rod for money; after we’re done talking today when you’re walking to your car you’ll probably find 100 bucks.”

* On JPMorgan, who Nails describes as the criminals who “stole” his money: “I’m going to beat them and show others how to do the same.”

* On Charlie Sheen, and his upcoming career prospects: “I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d see Major League 3, starring Charlie.” [Nails won’t act in the flick but will advise Sheen as to how people talk in the locker room.]

* On how he’d do playing ball today: “I couldn’t strike out 185 times if I went up to the plate without a bat.”

* On “all those people laughing and mocking me,” “they’re going to feel it in the backdoor…if you know what I mean.”

Lenny Dykstra Interview [Dan Patrick]

20 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (20)

  1. Posted by Guessst | February 28, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    Thinly veiled innuendo about anal rape is the NKI?

  2. Posted by The emporor's mirror | February 28, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    He’s a lightning rod for money like an anus is for crap.

  3. Posted by Quant hitter | February 28, 2011 at 6:54 PM

    So does this mean he has 184 more at bats left in the finance area?

  4. Posted by Scott Bakula | February 28, 2011 at 6:55 PM

    Dear Nails,

    Major League 3: Back to the Minors cam out in 1998, without Chuck Sheen

    Other than I have no concerns.

  5. Posted by Twizzlers Marketing | February 28, 2011 at 6:56 PM

    Why the change of picture Bess? Lenny D looks his best when in full Twizzler munch. You need to remedy this ASAP. I thought that guys who take dumps in their own former living rooms do not get glam shots on DB, but now even that one irrefutable truth seems to be off the table. If I could leave a digital loaf on your homepage in protest, consider this it.

  6. Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | February 28, 2011 at 7:08 PM

    He looks so ‘Have you seen my baseball?’ in that pic.

  7. Posted by Jeff Spinarkle | February 28, 2011 at 7:12 PM

    He wishes he was inside all of us.

  8. Posted by guest | February 28, 2011 at 7:28 PM

    The gift that just keeps on givin’. God Bless him and Charlie – a daily laugh riot, they are

  9. Posted by guest | February 28, 2011 at 7:28 PM

    The gift that just keeps on givin’. God Bless him and Charlie – a daily laugh riot, they are

  10. Posted by Nailed | February 28, 2011 at 7:30 PM

    “they’re going to feel it in the backdoor…if you know what I mean… I felt it in the living room, and it was huge…even the real estate agent talked about it…if you know what I mean”

  11. Posted by Nailed | February 28, 2011 at 7:30 PM

    “they’re going to feel it in the backdoor…if you know what I mean… I felt it in the living room, and it was huge…even the real estate agent talked about it…if you know what I mean”

  12. Posted by Dan Patrick | February 28, 2011 at 7:41 PM

    I assume you intended that as a rhetorical question, Nails?

  13. Posted by Sam I Am | February 28, 2011 at 7:42 PM

    I own a Lenny Dykstra game bat from his Philly years…is it getting more or less valuable?!?!

  14. Posted by Pre-Twizzler Pic | February 28, 2011 at 7:49 PM

    Is the picture from his Oscar winning performance in Miracle on 34th Street?

  15. Posted by Self-kicker | February 28, 2011 at 7:58 PM

    I’m really kicking myself for not asking Jamie D. what he thought of the Dykstra allegations at the town hall last week.

  16. Posted by Self-kicker | February 28, 2011 at 7:58 PM

    I’m really kicking myself for not asking Jamie D. what he thought of the Dykstra allegations at the town hall last week.

  17. Posted by Guest | February 28, 2011 at 7:58 PM

    You’re a liar, Nails clearly just said that he doesn’t use a bat.

  18. Posted by Guest | February 28, 2011 at 7:58 PM

    You’re a liar, Nails clearly just said that he doesn’t use a bat.

  19. Posted by Anonymous | February 28, 2011 at 8:16 PM

    I lift things up and I put them daun!

  20. Posted by Walter Sobchak, CFA | March 1, 2011 at 1:39 PM

    * On “all those people laughing and mocking me,” “they’re going to feel it in the backdoor…if you know what I mean.”

    Bess, I think LD means you.