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Legendary Investor Lenny Dykstra Makes A Few Predictions About The Banks Who Stole From Him, The Asses Of People Who Mock Him And Charlie Sheen

Nails laid it all out on the table during an interview with Howard Eskin, who he last told, “I’m a lightning rod for money; after we’re done talking today when you’re walking to your car you’ll probably find 100 bucks.”

* On JPMorgan, who Nails describes as the criminals who “stole” his money: “I’m going to beat them and show others how to do the same.”

* On Charlie Sheen, and his upcoming career prospects: “I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d see Major League 3, starring Charlie.” [Nails won’t act in the flick but will advise Sheen as to how people talk in the locker room.]

* On how he’d do playing ball today: “I couldn’t strike out 185 times if I went up to the plate without a bat.”

* On “all those people laughing and mocking me,” “they’re going to feel it in the backdoor…if you know what I mean.”

Lenny Dykstra Interview [Dan Patrick]

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20 Responses to “Legendary Investor Lenny Dykstra Makes A Few Predictions About The Banks Who Stole From Him, The Asses Of People Who Mock Him And Charlie Sheen”

  1. Guessst says:

    Thinly veiled innuendo about anal rape is the NKI?

  2. The emporor's mirror says:

    He’s a lightning rod for money like an anus is for crap.

  3. Quant hitter says:

    So does this mean he has 184 more at bats left in the finance area?

  4. Scott Bakula says:

    Dear Nails,

    Major League 3: Back to the Minors cam out in 1998, without Chuck Sheen

    Other than I have no concerns.

  5. Twizzlers Marketing says:

    Why the change of picture Bess? Lenny D looks his best when in full Twizzler munch. You need to remedy this ASAP. I thought that guys who take dumps in their own former living rooms do not get glam shots on DB, but now even that one irrefutable truth seems to be off the table. If I could leave a digital loaf on your homepage in protest, consider this it.

  6. He looks so ‘Have you seen my baseball?’ in that pic.

  7. Jeff Spinarkle says:

    He wishes he was inside all of us.

  8. guest says:

    The gift that just keeps on givin’. God Bless him and Charlie – a daily laugh riot, they are

  9. guest says:

    The gift that just keeps on givin’. God Bless him and Charlie – a daily laugh riot, they are

  10. Nailed says:

    “they’re going to feel it in the backdoor…if you know what I mean… I felt it in the living room, and it was huge…even the real estate agent talked about it…if you know what I mean”

  11. Nailed says:

    “they’re going to feel it in the backdoor…if you know what I mean… I felt it in the living room, and it was huge…even the real estate agent talked about it…if you know what I mean”

  12. Sam I Am says:

    I own a Lenny Dykstra game bat from his Philly years…is it getting more or less valuable?!?!

  13. Pre-Twizzler Pic says:

    Is the picture from his Oscar winning performance in Miracle on 34th Street?

  14. Self-kicker says:

    I’m really kicking myself for not asking Jamie D. what he thought of the Dykstra allegations at the town hall last week.

  15. Self-kicker says:

    I’m really kicking myself for not asking Jamie D. what he thought of the Dykstra allegations at the town hall last week.

  16. Anonymous says:

    I lift things up and I put them daun!

  17. Walter Sobchak, CFA says:

    * On “all those people laughing and mocking me,” “they’re going to feel it in the backdoor…if you know what I mean.”

    Bess, I think LD means you.

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