As you may have heard, Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez has a 17 year-old lady friend. Her name is Eliza Kruger (pictured) and she’s a high school student in Greenwich who he met at nightclub Lavo on New Year’s Eve. Liking what he saw, Sanchez gave her tickets to the January 2 Jets/Bills game and then, a week later, took her dinner at Nobu and back to his house in New Jersey where they “hooked up” (she posted pictures to Facebook of a bed with rumbled sheets afterward, natch). For those of you wondering if Sanchez was wading into statutory rape category- he wasn’t. Eliza looked up the age of consent in New Jersey and it’s 16, so everything was cool. Or at least it should have been but sometimes people get bent out of shape when a 24 year-old has relations with a girl who was 11 when he was 18. What also made things awkward was that Eliza seems to have just been in it for the sex but Sanchez wanted more! He would text her at all hours of the night, like at 2am on a Wednesday to “hang out” and she respond, “Um, I have school tomorrow.” He was contacting her as recently as January 24, seeing if she wanted to chill after the Jets lost the AFC Championship Game and people, like Eliza’s father, started to be all, “leave her alone, stalker.”

But! Today brings news Sanchez might not have been actually harassing a 17 year-old girl but rather trying to get to her dad, knowing the guy could offer him unparalleled investment advice, Papa Kruger being Konrad “Chip” Kruger, a partner in Stamford-based financial firm Five Mile Capital Partners and founder/former co-CEO of Greenwich Capital.

Konrad “Chip” Kruger, a partner in the Stamford, Conn., financial firm Five Mile Capital Partners, who court records show received a $48 million bonus, severance and a deferred-compensation package when he left the firm Greenwich Capital in 2000.

He also was in a partnership that in 2005 bought 78 percent of the commercial real-estate subsidiary of General Motors Corp. — at a cost of $500 million.

“The return on this investment is potentially staggering,” wrote a Connecticut divorce-court judge in 2006, dissolving the marriage of Konrad and Eliza’s mother, Marie Kruger.

Ours is just a theory. It may or may not pan out.

Sanchez And His HS Gal [NYP]
This Is The Somewhat Romantic Story Of Mark Sanchez And A 17 Year Old Girl [Deadspin]

257 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (257)

  1. Posted by Guestofbess | February 9, 2011 at 3:42 PM

    From the pics, looks like a “lights on” situation …

  2. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 3:43 PM

    Eli would never pull this shit

  3. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    um, really? she’s not that cute and kinda tubby.

  4. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    Hell yes!

    -RBS/legacy Greenwich Cap employee

  5. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    Was Lenny Dykstra’s daughter not available?

  6. Posted by Guestofbess | February 9, 2011 at 3:47 PM

    I meant the pic of rumpled sheets.

  7. Posted by Legally Speaking | February 9, 2011 at 3:47 PM

    Hooking up w/underages > buying them beer

  8. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 3:47 PM

    Does she have a dog?

    D. Kneale

  9. Posted by Duh | February 9, 2011 at 3:48 PM

    Transporting a minor across state lines and then putting it all over the Internet? Other than that, no concerns.

  10. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 3:48 PM

    How are her feet?
    Rex Ryan

  11. Posted by Texashedge | February 9, 2011 at 3:50 PM

    She’s definitely a 1, lights on

  12. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 3:51 PM

    SHE put it on the internet, not him.

    “Eliza Kruger not only bragged on Facebook about “MARK F–ING SANCHEZ” texting her after they flirted at a hip Manhattan nightclub on New Year’s Eve — she also took photos of a mussed-up bed in his boudoir as “proof” of their huddle just days later. “

  13. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 3:52 PM

    This story makes me miss the old gang.

    -Jim “G-Love” Glover

  14. Posted by CoveredLong | February 9, 2011 at 3:54 PM

    …is that a milkbone in your pocket or are you just thinking of the possibilities?

  15. Posted by CoveredLong | February 9, 2011 at 3:54 PM

    …is that a milkbone in your pocket or are you just thinking of the possibilities?

  16. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 3:56 PM

    Apparently: raping women everywhere > banging 17 year olds > dog killing

    as determined by 2011 playoffs results

    Of course not having done any of those things is the NKI

  17. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 3:56 PM

    I see no problem with this.

    –Matt Leinhart

  18. Posted by CurrencyTrader | February 9, 2011 at 3:57 PM

    This reminds me of that movie Shallow Hal. Same fat chica, same successful fund manager dad. Maybe Sanchez sees something in a girl where he has to staple her labia fat to her thigh in order to have sex.

  19. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    I think she ate her sister.

  20. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:01 PM

    This is totally “Bad Karma” coming back to haunt Konrad. That dude has been a slime to women all his life…..You reap what you sow, Big Kahuna!

  21. Posted by Indeed | February 9, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    More proof that rich white girls love the Dirty Sanchez

  22. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    is this the ex-mrs. kruger?

  23. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    if she’s a 1, the lights should be off.

  24. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 4:05 PM

    This has Jail Bait written allover it, she would fit perfect over at Bank of America

  25. Posted by Ray Finkle | February 9, 2011 at 4:05 PM

    My desk moved.

  26. Posted by Jeff | February 9, 2011 at 4:06 PM

    Eliza, massage? -JE

  27. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:06 PM

    If I had that kind of dough, I would trade my ugly daughter for a better looking one and then proceed to bang her.

  28. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:06 PM

    he’s got a son, too, who interned at RBS Greenwich Cap. WHICH NFL STARS HAVE BANGED THAT GUY?

  29. Posted by Carl Spackler | February 9, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    I would rather titty fuck Rex Ryan with the lights on.

    Chazz “I snort Viagra” Gasparino

  30. Posted by Carl Spackler | February 9, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    I would rather titty fuck Rex Ryan with the lights on.

    Chazz “I snort Viagra” Gasparino

  31. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:09 PM

    creepy incest guy says what?

  32. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:09 PM

    creepy incest guy says what?

  33. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:10 PM

    nothing says love like tickets to a Bills game.

  34. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:12 PM

    straight class.

  35. Posted by CraigsListKillah | February 9, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    So a Mexican and a teenage girl walk into a bar …………………. ARISTOCRATS!

  36. Posted by Grinder Girl | February 9, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    He’s a nice kid, let’s leave him out of this. -Another former GCM alum

  37. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:14 PM

    Looks like the braces were recently removed.

  38. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    As a fellow professional athlete I am here to say he can do better.

  39. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    This all depends on whether Texashedge is using the binary standard or the 1-10 standard, hopefully he’s talking in binary or else you got pretty terrible standards

  40. Posted by Egg Head | February 9, 2011 at 4:18 PM

    Bess,
    Why no mention of the massage?
    – J. Epstein

  41. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:18 PM

    I meant to say, I would bang her until we are related again and then, since it would be inappropriate to continue to do her now that we are related, I would pimp her to the best paid quarterback of the NFL, at which point we would go to court to extort some money.

  42. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:18 PM

    Daddy issues are showing.

  43. Posted by CraigsListKillah | February 9, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    Did Kruger lean on it?

  44. Posted by JealousLosers | February 9, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    Whats the fuss she is pretty and wealthy- most are ugly and poor……..

  45. Posted by JealousLosers | February 9, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    Whats the fuss she is pretty and wealthy- most are ugly and poor……..

  46. Posted by JealousLosers | February 9, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    Whats the fuss she is pretty and wealthy- most are ugly and poor……..

  47. Posted by JealousLosers | February 9, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    Whats the fuss she is pretty and wealthy- most are ugly and poor……..

  48. Posted by CraigsListKillah | February 9, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    Did Kruger lean on it?

  49. Posted by CraigsListKillah | February 9, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    Did Kruger lean on it?

  50. Posted by CraigsListKillah | February 9, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    Did Kruger lean on it?

  51. Posted by M. Sanchez | February 9, 2011 at 4:20 PM

    “so anyhoo, I was in the middle of bangin your little girl Eliz last night, and suddenly I found myself thinkin, ‘where’s a good place to put 3 or 4 mil to work right now?’ Anything come to mind Chip?”

  52. Posted by M. Sanchez | February 9, 2011 at 4:20 PM

    “so anyhoo, I was in the middle of bangin your little girl Eliz last night, and suddenly I found myself thinkin, ‘where’s a good place to put 3 or 4 mil to work right now?’ Anything come to mind Chip?”

  53. Posted by M. Sanchez | February 9, 2011 at 4:20 PM

    “so anyhoo, I was in the middle of bangin your little girl Eliz last night, and suddenly I found myself thinkin, ‘where’s a good place to put 3 or 4 mil to work right now?’ Anything come to mind Chip?”

  54. Posted by Chris Ventura | February 9, 2011 at 4:21 PM

    R-A-P-E! Rape Rape Rape Rape

  55. Posted by Chris Ventura | February 9, 2011 at 4:21 PM

    R-A-P-E! Rape Rape Rape Rape

  56. Posted by Chris Ventura | February 9, 2011 at 4:21 PM

    R-A-P-E! Rape Rape Rape Rape

  57. Posted by Chris Ventura | February 9, 2011 at 4:21 PM

    R-A-P-E! Rape Rape Rape Rape

  58. Posted by Chris Ventura | February 9, 2011 at 4:21 PM

    R-A-P-E! Rape Rape Rape Rape

  59. Posted by Texashedge | February 9, 2011 at 4:21 PM

    Binary

  60. Posted by Texashedge | February 9, 2011 at 4:21 PM

    Binary

  61. Posted by Texashedge | February 9, 2011 at 4:21 PM

    Binary

  62. Posted by Texashedge | February 9, 2011 at 4:21 PM

    Binary

  63. Posted by Texashedge | February 9, 2011 at 4:21 PM

    Binary

  64. Posted by Texashedge | February 9, 2011 at 4:21 PM

    Binary

  65. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:22 PM

    er, what? you think people are jealous that Sanchez banged a tubby girl from the suburbs who turned around and screwed him?

  66. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:22 PM

    welcome to dealbreaker, eliza!

  67. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:23 PM

    Bess set it up but well done. +1

  68. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:23 PM

    Bess set it up but well done. +1

  69. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:23 PM

    Bess set it up but well done. +1

  70. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:24 PM

    I know he is. It was my attempt at humor, which I use in uncomfortable situations. Forgive me.

  71. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:24 PM

    I know he is. It was my attempt at humor, which I use in uncomfortable situations. Forgive me.

  72. Posted by Texashedge | February 9, 2011 at 4:24 PM

    Same ol’ Kenny…ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag

  73. Posted by Texashedge | February 9, 2011 at 4:24 PM

    Same ol’ Kenny…ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag

  74. Posted by Texashedge | February 9, 2011 at 4:24 PM

    Same ol’ Kenny…ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag

  75. Posted by Seaman Bodine | February 9, 2011 at 4:24 PM

    fuck baby you rip

    – t lee

  76. Posted by Seaman Bodine | February 9, 2011 at 4:24 PM

    fuck baby you rip

    – t lee

  77. Posted by Seaman Bodine | February 9, 2011 at 4:24 PM

    fuck baby you rip

    – t lee

  78. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 4:25 PM

    Neither of you know what a Texas Hedge is, do you? Looking a little IT/back office in here this morning.

  79. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 4:25 PM

    Neither of you know what a Texas Hedge is, do you? Looking a little IT/back office in here this morning.

  80. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 4:25 PM

    Neither of you know what a Texas Hedge is, do you? Looking a little IT/back office in here this morning.

  81. Posted by Guessst | February 9, 2011 at 4:28 PM

    MEMO

    To: M. Sanchez

    From: “Dirty” Sanchez

    Re: Your an All Star Athlete, Start Acting Like One

    Mark,

    I think we have a bit of a misunderstanding here. You see, I put up with the long periods of no sex before big games; I dont complain when you take me (yet another) date with Rosy Palm and her five sisters; I try not bitch or moan about all the jostling you put me through. But this most recent event… well, let’s be honest here, bucko, it wasn’t the best move on your end.

    Look, you’re a super star athlete. You have buckets of poon waiting in the wings. Hell, you could probably say something like “Red 42! I need a blonde! In my Ferrari, after the game. On three! Break!” and have it be so. But no, you go and stick me in some unexperienced starfish with overpriced highlights.

    You know why Brady’s better than you? It’s got nothing to do with his abilites or superior offensive line. Brady’s better than you because he nails Gisele.

    Get your head in the game. Not football, the real game. If you wanted to focus on football you wouldn’t have joined the fuckin’ Jets.

    Please, man. Do it for me. Do it for Dirty.

    CC: all

  82. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:29 PM

    With living on a golf course, comes great responsibility.

    – Ty Webb

  83. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 4:30 PM

    You are all pretty much screwed. You do not know it yet, but you are the ninja generation. No income, no job, no assets. You’ve got a lot to look forward to.

  84. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:33 PM

    Wasn’t this on Oprah yesterday? Is this guy commenting from jail?

  85. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:33 PM

    Wasn’t this on Oprah yesterday? Is this guy commenting from jail?

  86. Posted by Ben Roethlisberger | February 9, 2011 at 4:33 PM

    Sanchez is an amateur

  87. Posted by Ben Roethlisberger | February 9, 2011 at 4:33 PM

    Sanchez is an amateur

  88. Posted by Ben Roethlisberger | February 9, 2011 at 4:35 PM

    Dude needs to stick to banging white trash in small towns, duh.

  89. Posted by ahahah | February 9, 2011 at 4:36 PM

    Wait, so why did I navigate away from deadspin again?

  90. Posted by J. Jones | February 9, 2011 at 4:36 PM

    I am , uh, you know, uh, surprised that Mark didn’t have a picture of my er uh billion dollar stadium over his er bed um in his room where these thangs uh and you know the NFL might have a lot to say about it because um well I hope the NFL has a lot to say about it due to um er the recent thangs at Cowboy Stadium and the seating, and the ice and all and the tent collapse and the cancelled parties, no snow plows uh er and keepin my toupee’ on in the wind and all um and whereafter and all um I think that the NFL should really look into um thangs pertainin to you know , uh, partyin with girls that are maybe um a little young with purty feet and all and I hope Roger is a listenin’ um and all when there’s questions like ‘iss.

  91. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 4:37 PM

    Marcia, Marcia, Marcia

  92. Posted by Dude | February 9, 2011 at 4:37 PM

    She’s not my special lady, she’s my fucking lady friend. I’m just helping her conceive, man.

  93. Posted by Brother | February 9, 2011 at 4:39 PM

    Yes, but what does she do with the watermelon seeds?

  94. Posted by Brother | February 9, 2011 at 4:39 PM

    Yes, but what does she do with the watermelon seeds?

  95. Posted by Big Ben | February 9, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    It’s just not the same when they consent.

  96. Posted by Big Ben | February 9, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    It’s just not the same when they consent.

  97. Posted by Just Sayin | February 9, 2011 at 4:41 PM

    But will our daughters have issues like yours?

  98. Posted by East Texas Gas Trader | February 9, 2011 at 4:42 PM

    My Daddy always told me, “Son, don’t never do nuthin that you wouldn’t want seen on the front page of the “Tyler Mornin’ Telegraph” and thankfully they don’t report when you start out in the natural gas tradin’ business.

  99. Posted by R. Goodell | February 9, 2011 at 4:43 PM

    Strong hedge against the lockout, Mark.

  100. Posted by Herr Direktor | February 9, 2011 at 4:44 PM

    that would come out to be “ninjna”, and doesn’t make sense. think you’re lost from a different thread.

  101. Posted by Ray Finkle | February 9, 2011 at 4:46 PM

    No, my belt busted from the penii tuck though.

  102. Posted by Jerry Springer | February 9, 2011 at 4:48 PM

    No, I got exclusive rights to that tranche.

  103. Posted by Jerry Springer | February 9, 2011 at 4:48 PM

    No, I got exclusive rights to that tranche.

  104. Posted by Brooklyn D | February 9, 2011 at 4:51 PM

    I went to Google images and entered “Mark Sanchez dating..” and Mr. Sanchez has many lady friends.

  105. Posted by Brooklyn D | February 9, 2011 at 4:51 PM

    I went to Google images and entered “Mark Sanchez dating..” and Mr. Sanchez has many lady friends.

  106. Posted by trojan | February 9, 2011 at 4:57 PM

    in a related note, sanchez already beat the rap on a rape charge at SC when he was a redshirt at SC back when we still won rose bowls

    http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2423430

  107. Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | February 9, 2011 at 4:58 PM

    Mark,

    Send her a picture of ‘The Goods.’ She’ll come around.

    -B. Favre

  108. Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | February 9, 2011 at 4:58 PM

    Mark,

    Send her a picture of ‘The Goods.’ She’ll come around.

    -B. Favre

  109. Posted by PasteSpecialFormats | February 9, 2011 at 4:58 PM

    Mark,

    Send her a picture of ‘The Goods.’ She’ll come around.

    -B. Favre

  110. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 5:00 PM

    Nice.

  111. Posted by trojan | February 9, 2011 at 5:00 PM

    Sanchez filling Favre’s crocs very nicely….

  112. Posted by Mr. Blonde | February 9, 2011 at 5:01 PM

    CT to NJ + 17 + sexual activity = Violation of the Mann Act.

    Looks like Mark will spend the lockout in the lockup.

  113. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:01 PM

    hes no wayne chrebet

  114. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:12 PM

    You’re a 24-year-old multi-millionaire professional athlete living in NY City and the best tail you can get is a high-school girl from the suburbs?

  115. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:15 PM

    Who knew Woody Allen was in the Dealbreaker commentariat?

  116. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 5:17 PM

    This isn’t funny; this is pure shit.

  117. Posted by Lord Humongous | February 9, 2011 at 5:18 PM

    He lives in Dirty Jerz

  118. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 5:22 PM

    Mark

    Word of advice: Pay for it. When you pay for it, you don’t pay for the big “O”, you pay for discretion. At least that’s what I thought.

    -E. Spitzer

  119. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 5:22 PM

    Mark

    Word of advice: Pay for it. When you pay for it, you don’t pay for the big “O”, you pay for discretion. At least that’s what I thought.

    -E. Spitzer

  120. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 5:24 PM

    Does Konrad have a son?

    – Ping

  121. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 5:24 PM

    Does Konrad have a son?

    – Ping

  122. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:26 PM

    Or Broadway Joe

  123. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:26 PM

    Or Broadway Joe

  124. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:26 PM

    Or Broadway Joe

  125. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:26 PM

    Or Broadway Joe

  126. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:26 PM

    Or Broadway Joe

  127. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:26 PM

    Or Broadway Joe

  128. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:27 PM

    Even more pathetic.

  129. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:27 PM

    Even more pathetic.

  130. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:27 PM

    Even more pathetic.

  131. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:27 PM

    Even more pathetic.

  132. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:27 PM

    Even more pathetic.

  133. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:27 PM

    Even more pathetic.

  134. Posted by SnookiSmushSmush | February 9, 2011 at 5:34 PM

    Its probably the most pathetic thing about this story. Its fucking disgusting.

  135. Posted by Indeed | February 9, 2011 at 5:35 PM

    I stopped reading at “MEMO…”

  136. Posted by Elliot Rosewater | February 9, 2011 at 5:36 PM

    It all comes down to yes or no. She’s is boinkable, a 1.

  137. Posted by Jack | February 9, 2011 at 5:38 PM

    So let me get this straight. New Jersey is cool with adult males consensually fucking my daughter on the date of her Sweet Sixteenth, but will send me to jail if I serve her (then and for up to 4 years and 364 days later) a glass of wine with dinner.

    Makes sense.

  138. Posted by Eliza K. | February 9, 2011 at 5:43 PM

    ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♭ Face down, ass up, that’s the way I like to f*** ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♭

  139. Posted by Ruffies | February 9, 2011 at 5:45 PM

    Why would you get your own daughter drunk? Creep. You must be from the South (or the Midwest).

  140. Posted by Ruffies | February 9, 2011 at 5:45 PM

    Why would you get your own daughter drunk? Creep. You must be from the South (or the Midwest).

  141. Posted by Balblabla | February 9, 2011 at 5:47 PM

    NFL quarterbacks have terrible judgment. Except Aaron Rodgers, who is the man. true story

  142. Posted by Balblabla | February 9, 2011 at 5:47 PM

    NFL quarterbacks have terrible judgment. Except Aaron Rodgers, who is the man. true story

  143. Posted by Jack | February 9, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    You’re right.

    And now’s your opportunity to bang my daughter. She’s drunk and I’m in jail.

  144. Posted by Jack | February 9, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    You’re right.

    And now’s your opportunity to bang my daughter. She’s drunk and I’m in jail.

  145. Posted by John Bender | February 9, 2011 at 5:54 PM

    “…there are two kinds of fat people: there’s fat people that were born to be fat, and there’s fat people that were once thin but became fat… so when you look at ‘em you can sorta see that thin person inside.”

  146. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:54 PM

    You’ve never been in New Jersey, have you?

  147. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 5:56 PM

    Where are the clients’ daughters?

  148. Posted by Timmy | February 9, 2011 at 5:58 PM

    Stop talking about me behind my back

    -maria b

  149. Posted by Timmy | February 9, 2011 at 5:58 PM

    Stop talking about me behind my back

    -maria b

  150. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:58 PM

    boroadway joe became a retail broker too??

  151. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 5:58 PM

    boroadway joe became a retail broker too??

  152. Posted by I Hate CT | February 9, 2011 at 6:00 PM

    Hmm…

    Tony Robbins gets stuck in an elevator with Jack Black who goes for chicks way out of his league and hypnotizes him into seeing ugly but nice women as hot and hot bitches as ugly only to fall in love with gwyneth paltrow in a fat suit

    vs.

    Franchise (???) quarterback meets underage flooze at a new years party, lures her back to his NJ mansion then continues to stalk her in hopes that said flooze’s dad gives some investment advice.

    I see where you’re headed with this

  153. Posted by I Hate CT | February 9, 2011 at 6:00 PM

    Hmm…

    Tony Robbins gets stuck in an elevator with Jack Black who goes for chicks way out of his league and hypnotizes him into seeing ugly but nice women as hot and hot bitches as ugly only to fall in love with gwyneth paltrow in a fat suit

    vs.

    Franchise (???) quarterback meets underage flooze at a new years party, lures her back to his NJ mansion then continues to stalk her in hopes that said flooze’s dad gives some investment advice.

    I see where you’re headed with this

  154. Posted by I Hate CT | February 9, 2011 at 6:00 PM

    Hmm…

    Tony Robbins gets stuck in an elevator with Jack Black who goes for chicks way out of his league and hypnotizes him into seeing ugly but nice women as hot and hot bitches as ugly only to fall in love with gwyneth paltrow in a fat suit

    vs.

    Franchise (???) quarterback meets underage flooze at a new years party, lures her back to his NJ mansion then continues to stalk her in hopes that said flooze’s dad gives some investment advice.

    I see where you’re headed with this

  155. Posted by TImmy | February 9, 2011 at 6:02 PM

    Hey, shut up.

    -Guy who thinks winning the AFC in ’90, ’91, ’92, ’93 counts for something

  156. Posted by TImmy | February 9, 2011 at 6:02 PM

    Hey, shut up.

    -Guy who thinks winning the AFC in ’90, ’91, ’92, ’93 counts for something

  157. Posted by TImmy | February 9, 2011 at 6:02 PM

    Hey, shut up.

    -Guy who thinks winning the AFC in ’90, ’91, ’92, ’93 counts for something

  158. Posted by CSheenYesThatOne | February 9, 2011 at 6:02 PM

    Das why I stick to teh pr0n0st4rs!!

  159. Posted by CSheenYesThatOne | February 9, 2011 at 6:02 PM

    Das why I stick to teh pr0n0st4rs!!

  160. Posted by Tom | February 9, 2011 at 6:04 PM

    He should have gone to Lombardi instead.

  161. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 6:06 PM

    There’s all types of justice in Jersey.

    -T. Soprano

  162. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 6:06 PM

    Interesting editorial policy. You can’t use the word “jerk” to describe a bad actor on some web sites, but here “bangs” is encouraged. I read the article just to see if the headline meant what I thought it did.

    It did.

  163. Posted by S Archerberg | February 9, 2011 at 6:10 PM

    “They are ALL hookers when they are dead, Cyril!”

  164. Posted by banjo boy | February 9, 2011 at 6:18 PM

    for all of the “she’s fat” talk, this thread has generated 103 comments so far. that’s a lot of Kleenex being used by you preverts

  165. Posted by Mr. Blonde | February 9, 2011 at 6:21 PM

    Richard Todd was the original – became a muni bond salesman for Bear.

  166. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 6:26 PM

    Retail broker, actually, IIRC.

  167. Posted by Screech | February 9, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    Not just the rich ones.
    -Dustin Diamond

  168. Posted by Screech | February 9, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    Not just the rich ones.
    -Dustin Diamond

  169. Posted by Guy who asks first | February 9, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    Did he buy her a drink at dinner? Just asking…

  170. Posted by Guy who asks first | February 9, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    Did he buy her a drink at dinner? Just asking…

  171. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    What kind of sick fuck calls an actor a jerk?

  172. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    What kind of sick fuck calls an actor a jerk?

  173. Posted by guest | February 9, 2011 at 6:32 PM

    as someone who had the misfortune of working with the Chipster –
    ha, ha, ha

  174. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 6:32 PM

    Hotness and number of posts are not directly correlated.

    And “preverts”? Who are you, Colonel Guano?

  175. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 6:33 PM
  176. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 6:33 PM
  177. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 6:35 PM

    Is there an unspoken rule you have to jerk off every time you leave a comment on the internet?

  178. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 6:35 PM

    Is there an unspoken rule you have to jerk off every time you leave a comment on the internet?

  179. Posted by Verbal5 | February 9, 2011 at 6:38 PM

    If that’s the best you can get when you are the starting quarterback for a NFL playoff team, there goes my motivation to be a pro player…..

  180. Posted by Verbal5 | February 9, 2011 at 6:38 PM

    If that’s the best you can get when you are the starting quarterback for a NFL playoff team, there goes my motivation to be a pro player…..

  181. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 6:40 PM

    Framed copy of his “Broadway Schmo” NYP cover beside his bed on the floor. Other than that, I have no concerns.

  182. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 6:45 PM

    It’s not really a rule, more of a life choice.

  183. Posted by M. Sanchez | February 9, 2011 at 6:47 PM

    no, but the crowd doth protest too much, methinks

  184. Posted by Neurosurgeon | February 9, 2011 at 6:49 PM

    Now, now. You’ve read all about those concussion stories. Maybe Mark’s brain has been so damaged that he no longer has good decision-making ability without a coach telling him what to do.

  185. Posted by Pervert | February 9, 2011 at 6:49 PM

    You know, now that you mention it, she is pretty fat.

  186. Posted by Chuddy | February 9, 2011 at 6:51 PM

    we prefer the rusty trombone

    ~ CS and DK

  187. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 6:52 PM

    Waiting for the Vince Young/Aaron Rodgers nuptuals…

  188. Posted by guest | February 9, 2011 at 6:53 PM

    Seriously, you’re an ass. This is why females in our country have eating disorders. This girl is far from fat.

  189. Posted by Chuddy | February 9, 2011 at 6:54 PM

    Take that Emma Lasry!!!

    ~ Eliza

  190. Posted by Chuddy | February 9, 2011 at 6:54 PM

    Take that Emma Lasry!!!

    ~ Eliza

  191. Posted by Chuddy | February 9, 2011 at 6:54 PM

    Take that Emma Lasry!!!

    ~ Eliza

  192. Posted by Geust | February 9, 2011 at 6:58 PM

    U mad u mad

  193. Posted by NoFatChicks | February 9, 2011 at 7:00 PM

    I hope this is sarcasm. If not, you’ve definitely got to be a fatty too.

  194. Posted by NoFatChicks | February 9, 2011 at 7:00 PM

    I hope this is sarcasm. If not, you’ve definitely got to be a fatty too.

  195. Posted by guest | February 9, 2011 at 7:06 PM

    actually, I’m one of those women who other women hate because I can eat what I want and stay a size 4. (or do you think a size 4 is fat? do you prefer your women to be skeletons? or perhaps, you like the ones you can create on your video games that say what you want them to, cause those are obviously the only women that you’ll ever be with)

  196. Posted by Geust | February 9, 2011 at 7:06 PM

    you mean meatspin?

  197. Posted by Geust | February 9, 2011 at 7:06 PM

    you mean meatspin?

  198. Posted by Geust | February 9, 2011 at 7:12 PM

    So I’ll start the market at 60/120 days until the sex tape comes out…

  199. Posted by Ops Smops | February 9, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    I stopped reading at “‘Twas”

  200. Posted by Ops Smops | February 9, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    I stopped reading at “‘Twas”

  201. Posted by Ops Smops | February 9, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    I stopped reading at “‘Twas”

  202. Posted by Ops Smops | February 9, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    I stopped reading at “‘Twas”

  203. Posted by Ops Smops | February 9, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    I stopped reading at “‘Twas”

  204. Posted by Ops Smops | February 9, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    I stopped reading at “‘Twas”

  205. Posted by Ops Smops | February 9, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    I stopped reading at “‘Twas”

  206. Posted by Ops Smops | February 9, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    I stopped reading at “‘Twas”

  207. Posted by Ops Smops | February 9, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    I stopped reading at “‘Twas”

  208. Posted by Creamy Takatashi | February 9, 2011 at 7:23 PM

    Only when you leave a comment, Bessar.

  209. Posted by DB Commentariat | February 9, 2011 at 7:27 PM

    This is cliche but that means you REALLY haven’t been here before, like ever. Take a look around. You’ll probably be offended, but we don’t care.

  210. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 7:27 PM

    @guest – no one cares about you

  211. Posted by It Moved | February 9, 2011 at 7:29 PM

    You have *no idea* how awkward it can get on the trading floor.

  212. Posted by Gozer | February 9, 2011 at 8:07 PM

    Its all pink on the inside

  213. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 9:35 PM

    Eli couldn’t pull a piece like this…he looks too inbred

  214. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2011 at 9:35 PM

    Eli couldn’t pull a piece like this…he looks too inbred

  215. Posted by Anonymous | February 9, 2011 at 10:30 PM

    No need to worry about that. There’s ways around it.

    -E. Spitzer

  216. Posted by Guesr | February 9, 2011 at 11:48 PM

    How can the Jets make it to the championship when the starting quarterback is busy banging a 17 year old. He was worried about prom.

  217. Posted by Guest | February 10, 2011 at 1:02 AM

    driving your new camaro to disneyland is the NKI

  218. Posted by Dead_Cat | February 10, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    Surely variety is important or there would be no point dating more than one woman?

    I’m with the lights on brigade, unless there are cops around.

  219. Posted by Dead_Cat | February 10, 2011 at 12:25 PM

    I assume the judge’s comment refers to Marie’s time married to KK.

  220. Posted by Ilikecopyingandpasting | February 10, 2011 at 3:23 PM

    I can see you really pushing maximum density. See I’m not sure if you know this, but there are two kinds of fat people: there’s fat people that were born to be fat, and there’s fat people that were once thin but became fat… so when you look at ‘em you can sorta see that thin person inside. You see, you’re gonna get married, you’re gonna squeeze out a few puppies and then, uh…

  221. Posted by ChadP | February 10, 2011 at 3:59 PM

    “Hooked up” is not closing the deal in my book. He must be stalking her because he wants to gauge how loose her lips (no pun intended) are after he pulled down his pants to reveal a pig in a blank with a Dr. J-esque afro at which point she decided that writing her book report on “Of Mice and Men” was more urgent than 10 minutes ago.

  222. Posted by Guest | February 10, 2011 at 4:29 PM

    Clearly you haven’t seen Eli’s wife….

  223. Posted by Anonymous | February 10, 2011 at 5:13 PM

    Actually, I think this could be relevant. Is ninjina another name for cleatchaser?

  224. Posted by BackOfficeSales | February 10, 2011 at 5:51 PM

    New Jersey: the promised land.

    – M. Chmura

  225. Posted by guest | February 10, 2011 at 6:33 PM

    THANK YOU NY JETS for embarrassing yourselves and YOUR FANS repeatedly…No respect for fans……………..

  226. Posted by Bill | February 10, 2011 at 7:34 PM

    glasses on, hair down

    no wait, glasses off, hair up

    …I’ve made a huge mistake

  227. Posted by bear | February 10, 2011 at 8:25 PM

    Dirty Sanchez

  228. Posted by Asd | February 14, 2011 at 1:53 PM

    Grenade

  229. Posted by Guest | February 15, 2011 at 2:10 PM

    Disagree with your assertion that hooked up isn’t closing the deal. Yes, “hook up” is ambiguous, and that’s exactly why girls (and guys) use it……. because it doesn’t sound as slutty as say…. “i let him fuck me, and i barely remember it because i was so blacked out”

    copy?

  230. Posted by Guest | February 15, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    Silly to infer this is the best he can pull. He can pull just about any girl he wants from 16-30 y/o. So what if he wanted a 17 y/o on his roster? I personally find it funny.

    – 24 y/o guy who wants to fuck the 17 y/o hostess at his favorite restaurant

  231. Posted by Stephen Peters | December 9, 2011 at 11:48 AM

    That a boy Sanchez!

  232. Posted by Stocks Guy | January 17, 2012 at 3:51 AM

    Okay, this story is crazier than Mark Sanchez taking the public relations nightmare risk of banging a 17 year old. Tell me he went after her because (in his obviously crazy mind) he thought she was hot, not because he was trying to get to papa. Or maybe its me that’s crazy for thinking anyone with assets can just call up the firm and ask to speak to the guy and get through or at least get him to call back, let alone an NFL quarterback.

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