As you may have heard, Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez has a 17 year-old lady friend. Her name is Eliza Kruger (pictured) and she’s a high school student in Greenwich who he met at nightclub Lavo on New Year’s Eve. Liking what he saw, Sanchez gave her tickets to the January 2 Jets/Bills game and then, a week later, took her dinner at Nobu and back to his house in New Jersey where they “hooked up” (she posted pictures to Facebook of a bed with rumbled sheets afterward, natch). For those of you wondering if Sanchez was wading into statutory rape category- he wasn’t. Eliza looked up the age of consent in New Jersey and it’s 16, so everything was cool. Or at least it should have been but sometimes people get bent out of shape when a 24 year-old has relations with a girl who was 11 when he was 18. What also made things awkward was that Eliza seems to have just been in it for the sex but Sanchez wanted more! He would text her at all hours of the night, like at 2am on a Wednesday to “hang out” and she respond, “Um, I have school tomorrow.” He was contacting her as recently as January 24, seeing if she wanted to chill after the Jets lost the AFC Championship Game and people, like Eliza’s father, started to be all, “leave her alone, stalker.”
But! Today brings news Sanchez might not have been actually harassing a 17 year-old girl but rather trying to get to her dad, knowing the guy could offer him unparalleled investment advice, Papa Kruger being Konrad “Chip” Kruger, a partner in Stamford-based financial firm Five Mile Capital Partners and founder/former co-CEO of Greenwich Capital.
Konrad “Chip” Kruger, a partner in the Stamford, Conn., financial firm Five Mile Capital Partners, who court records show received a $48 million bonus, severance and a deferred-compensation package when he left the firm Greenwich Capital in 2000.
He also was in a partnership that in 2005 bought 78 percent of the commercial real-estate subsidiary of General Motors Corp. — at a cost of $500 million.
“The return on this investment is potentially staggering,” wrote a Connecticut divorce-court judge in 2006, dissolving the marriage of Konrad and Eliza’s mother, Marie Kruger.
Ours is just a theory. It may or may not pan out.
Sanchez And His HS Gal [NYP]
This Is The Somewhat Romantic Story Of Mark Sanchez And A 17 Year Old Girl [Deadspin]
From the pics, looks like a “lights on” situation …
Eli would never pull this shit
um, really? she’s not that cute and kinda tubby.
Hell yes!
-RBS/legacy Greenwich Cap employee
Was Lenny Dykstra’s daughter not available?
I meant the pic of rumpled sheets.
Hooking up w/underages > buying them beer
Does she have a dog?
D. Kneale
Transporting a minor across state lines and then putting it all over the Internet? Other than that, no concerns.
How are her feet?
Rex Ryan
She’s definitely a 1, lights on
SHE put it on the internet, not him.
“Eliza Kruger not only bragged on Facebook about “MARK F–ING SANCHEZ” texting her after they flirted at a hip Manhattan nightclub on New Year’s Eve — she also took photos of a mussed-up bed in his boudoir as “proof” of their huddle just days later. “
This story makes me miss the old gang.
-Jim “G-Love” Glover
…is that a milkbone in your pocket or are you just thinking of the possibilities?
…is that a milkbone in your pocket or are you just thinking of the possibilities?
Apparently: raping women everywhere > banging 17 year olds > dog killing
as determined by 2011 playoffs results
Of course not having done any of those things is the NKI
I see no problem with this.
–Matt Leinhart
This reminds me of that movie Shallow Hal. Same fat chica, same successful fund manager dad. Maybe Sanchez sees something in a girl where he has to staple her labia fat to her thigh in order to have sex.
I think she ate her sister.
This is totally “Bad Karma” coming back to haunt Konrad. That dude has been a slime to women all his life…..You reap what you sow, Big Kahuna!
More proof that rich white girls love the Dirty Sanchez
is this the ex-mrs. kruger?
if she’s a 1, the lights should be off.
This has Jail Bait written allover it, she would fit perfect over at Bank of America
My desk moved.
Eliza, massage? -JE
If I had that kind of dough, I would trade my ugly daughter for a better looking one and then proceed to bang her.
he’s got a son, too, who interned at RBS Greenwich Cap. WHICH NFL STARS HAVE BANGED THAT GUY?
I would rather titty fuck Rex Ryan with the lights on.
Chazz “I snort Viagra” Gasparino
I would rather titty fuck Rex Ryan with the lights on.
Chazz “I snort Viagra” Gasparino
creepy incest guy says what?
creepy incest guy says what?
nothing says love like tickets to a Bills game.
straight class.
So a Mexican and a teenage girl walk into a bar …………………. ARISTOCRATS!
He’s a nice kid, let’s leave him out of this. -Another former GCM alum
Looks like the braces were recently removed.
As a fellow professional athlete I am here to say he can do better.
This all depends on whether Texashedge is using the binary standard or the 1-10 standard, hopefully he’s talking in binary or else you got pretty terrible standards
Bess,
Why no mention of the massage?
- J. Epstein
I meant to say, I would bang her until we are related again and then, since it would be inappropriate to continue to do her now that we are related, I would pimp her to the best paid quarterback of the NFL, at which point we would go to court to extort some money.
Daddy issues are showing.
Did Kruger lean on it?
Whats the fuss she is pretty and wealthy- most are ugly and poor……..
Whats the fuss she is pretty and wealthy- most are ugly and poor……..
Whats the fuss she is pretty and wealthy- most are ugly and poor……..
Whats the fuss she is pretty and wealthy- most are ugly and poor……..
Did Kruger lean on it?
Did Kruger lean on it?
Did Kruger lean on it?
“so anyhoo, I was in the middle of bangin your little girl Eliz last night, and suddenly I found myself thinkin, ‘where’s a good place to put 3 or 4 mil to work right now?’ Anything come to mind Chip?”
“so anyhoo, I was in the middle of bangin your little girl Eliz last night, and suddenly I found myself thinkin, ‘where’s a good place to put 3 or 4 mil to work right now?’ Anything come to mind Chip?”
“so anyhoo, I was in the middle of bangin your little girl Eliz last night, and suddenly I found myself thinkin, ‘where’s a good place to put 3 or 4 mil to work right now?’ Anything come to mind Chip?”
R-A-P-E! Rape Rape Rape Rape
R-A-P-E! Rape Rape Rape Rape
R-A-P-E! Rape Rape Rape Rape
R-A-P-E! Rape Rape Rape Rape
R-A-P-E! Rape Rape Rape Rape
Binary
Binary
Binary
Binary
Binary
Binary
er, what? you think people are jealous that Sanchez banged a tubby girl from the suburbs who turned around and screwed him?
welcome to dealbreaker, eliza!
Bess set it up but well done. +1
Bess set it up but well done. +1
Bess set it up but well done. +1
I know he is. It was my attempt at humor, which I use in uncomfortable situations. Forgive me.
I know he is. It was my attempt at humor, which I use in uncomfortable situations. Forgive me.
Same ol’ Kenny…ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag
Same ol’ Kenny…ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag
Same ol’ Kenny…ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag
fuck baby you rip
- t lee
fuck baby you rip
- t lee
fuck baby you rip
- t lee
Neither of you know what a Texas Hedge is, do you? Looking a little IT/back office in here this morning.
Neither of you know what a Texas Hedge is, do you? Looking a little IT/back office in here this morning.
Neither of you know what a Texas Hedge is, do you? Looking a little IT/back office in here this morning.
MEMO
To: M. Sanchez
From: “Dirty” Sanchez
Re: Your an All Star Athlete, Start Acting Like One
Mark,
I think we have a bit of a misunderstanding here. You see, I put up with the long periods of no sex before big games; I dont complain when you take me (yet another) date with Rosy Palm and her five sisters; I try not bitch or moan about all the jostling you put me through. But this most recent event… well, let’s be honest here, bucko, it wasn’t the best move on your end.
Look, you’re a super star athlete. You have buckets of poon waiting in the wings. Hell, you could probably say something like “Red 42! I need a blonde! In my Ferrari, after the game. On three! Break!” and have it be so. But no, you go and stick me in some unexperienced starfish with overpriced highlights.
You know why Brady’s better than you? It’s got nothing to do with his abilites or superior offensive line. Brady’s better than you because he nails Gisele.
Get your head in the game. Not football, the real game. If you wanted to focus on football you wouldn’t have joined the fuckin’ Jets.
Please, man. Do it for me. Do it for Dirty.
CC: all
With living on a golf course, comes great responsibility.
- Ty Webb
You are all pretty much screwed. You do not know it yet, but you are the ninja generation. No income, no job, no assets. You’ve got a lot to look forward to.
Wasn’t this on Oprah yesterday? Is this guy commenting from jail?
Wasn’t this on Oprah yesterday? Is this guy commenting from jail?
Sanchez is an amateur
Sanchez is an amateur
Dude needs to stick to banging white trash in small towns, duh.
Wait, so why did I navigate away from deadspin again?
I am , uh, you know, uh, surprised that Mark didn’t have a picture of my er uh billion dollar stadium over his er bed um in his room where these thangs uh and you know the NFL might have a lot to say about it because um well I hope the NFL has a lot to say about it due to um er the recent thangs at Cowboy Stadium and the seating, and the ice and all and the tent collapse and the cancelled parties, no snow plows uh er and keepin my toupee’ on in the wind and all um and whereafter and all um I think that the NFL should really look into um thangs pertainin to you know , uh, partyin with girls that are maybe um a little young with purty feet and all and I hope Roger is a listenin’ um and all when there’s questions like ‘iss.
Marcia, Marcia, Marcia
She’s not my special lady, she’s my fucking lady friend. I’m just helping her conceive, man.
Yes, but what does she do with the watermelon seeds?
Yes, but what does she do with the watermelon seeds?
It’s just not the same when they consent.
It’s just not the same when they consent.
But will our daughters have issues like yours?
My Daddy always told me, “Son, don’t never do nuthin that you wouldn’t want seen on the front page of the “Tyler Mornin’ Telegraph” and thankfully they don’t report when you start out in the natural gas tradin’ business.
Strong hedge against the lockout, Mark.
that would come out to be “ninjna”, and doesn’t make sense. think you’re lost from a different thread.
No, my belt busted from the penii tuck though.
No, I got exclusive rights to that tranche.
No, I got exclusive rights to that tranche.
I went to Google images and entered “Mark Sanchez dating..” and Mr. Sanchez has many lady friends.
I went to Google images and entered “Mark Sanchez dating..” and Mr. Sanchez has many lady friends.
in a related note, sanchez already beat the rap on a rape charge at SC when he was a redshirt at SC back when we still won rose bowls
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2423430
Mark,
Send her a picture of ‘The Goods.’ She’ll come around.
-B. Favre
Mark,
Send her a picture of ‘The Goods.’ She’ll come around.
-B. Favre
Mark,
Send her a picture of ‘The Goods.’ She’ll come around.
-B. Favre
Nice.
Sanchez filling Favre’s crocs very nicely….
CT to NJ + 17 + sexual activity = Violation of the Mann Act.
Looks like Mark will spend the lockout in the lockup.
hes no wayne chrebet
You’re a 24-year-old multi-millionaire professional athlete living in NY City and the best tail you can get is a high-school girl from the suburbs?
Who knew Woody Allen was in the Dealbreaker commentariat?
This isn’t funny; this is pure shit.
He lives in Dirty Jerz
Mark
Word of advice: Pay for it. When you pay for it, you don’t pay for the big “O”, you pay for discretion. At least that’s what I thought.
-E. Spitzer
Mark
Word of advice: Pay for it. When you pay for it, you don’t pay for the big “O”, you pay for discretion. At least that’s what I thought.
-E. Spitzer
Does Konrad have a son?
- Ping
Does Konrad have a son?
- Ping
Or Broadway Joe
Or Broadway Joe
Or Broadway Joe
Or Broadway Joe
Or Broadway Joe
Or Broadway Joe
Even more pathetic.
Even more pathetic.
Even more pathetic.
Even more pathetic.
Even more pathetic.
Even more pathetic.
Its probably the most pathetic thing about this story. Its fucking disgusting.
I stopped reading at “MEMO…”
It all comes down to yes or no. She’s is boinkable, a 1.
So let me get this straight. New Jersey is cool with adult males consensually fucking my daughter on the date of her Sweet Sixteenth, but will send me to jail if I serve her (then and for up to 4 years and 364 days later) a glass of wine with dinner.
Makes sense.
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♭ Face down, ass up, that’s the way I like to f*** ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♭
Why would you get your own daughter drunk? Creep. You must be from the South (or the Midwest).
Why would you get your own daughter drunk? Creep. You must be from the South (or the Midwest).
NFL quarterbacks have terrible judgment. Except Aaron Rodgers, who is the man. true story
NFL quarterbacks have terrible judgment. Except Aaron Rodgers, who is the man. true story
You’re right.
And now’s your opportunity to bang my daughter. She’s drunk and I’m in jail.
You’re right.
And now’s your opportunity to bang my daughter. She’s drunk and I’m in jail.
“…there are two kinds of fat people: there’s fat people that were born to be fat, and there’s fat people that were once thin but became fat… so when you look at ‘em you can sorta see that thin person inside.”
You’ve never been in New Jersey, have you?
Where are the clients’ daughters?
Stop talking about me behind my back
-maria b
Stop talking about me behind my back
-maria b
boroadway joe became a retail broker too??
boroadway joe became a retail broker too??
Hmm…
Tony Robbins gets stuck in an elevator with Jack Black who goes for chicks way out of his league and hypnotizes him into seeing ugly but nice women as hot and hot bitches as ugly only to fall in love with gwyneth paltrow in a fat suit
vs.
Franchise (???) quarterback meets underage flooze at a new years party, lures her back to his NJ mansion then continues to stalk her in hopes that said flooze’s dad gives some investment advice.
I see where you’re headed with this
Hmm…
Tony Robbins gets stuck in an elevator with Jack Black who goes for chicks way out of his league and hypnotizes him into seeing ugly but nice women as hot and hot bitches as ugly only to fall in love with gwyneth paltrow in a fat suit
vs.
Franchise (???) quarterback meets underage flooze at a new years party, lures her back to his NJ mansion then continues to stalk her in hopes that said flooze’s dad gives some investment advice.
I see where you’re headed with this
Hmm…
Tony Robbins gets stuck in an elevator with Jack Black who goes for chicks way out of his league and hypnotizes him into seeing ugly but nice women as hot and hot bitches as ugly only to fall in love with gwyneth paltrow in a fat suit
vs.
Franchise (???) quarterback meets underage flooze at a new years party, lures her back to his NJ mansion then continues to stalk her in hopes that said flooze’s dad gives some investment advice.
I see where you’re headed with this
Hey, shut up.
-Guy who thinks winning the AFC in ’90, ’91, ’92, ’93 counts for something
Hey, shut up.
-Guy who thinks winning the AFC in ’90, ’91, ’92, ’93 counts for something
Hey, shut up.
-Guy who thinks winning the AFC in ’90, ’91, ’92, ’93 counts for something
Das why I stick to teh pr0n0st4rs!!
Das why I stick to teh pr0n0st4rs!!
He should have gone to Lombardi instead.
There’s all types of justice in Jersey.
-T. Soprano
Interesting editorial policy. You can’t use the word “jerk” to describe a bad actor on some web sites, but here “bangs” is encouraged. I read the article just to see if the headline meant what I thought it did.
It did.
“They are ALL hookers when they are dead, Cyril!”
for all of the “she’s fat” talk, this thread has generated 103 comments so far. that’s a lot of Kleenex being used by you preverts
Richard Todd was the original – became a muni bond salesman for Bear.
Retail broker, actually, IIRC.
Not just the rich ones.
-Dustin Diamond
Not just the rich ones.
-Dustin Diamond
Did he buy her a drink at dinner? Just asking…
Did he buy her a drink at dinner? Just asking…
What kind of sick fuck calls an actor a jerk?
What kind of sick fuck calls an actor a jerk?
as someone who had the misfortune of working with the Chipster -
ha, ha, ha
Hotness and number of posts are not directly correlated.
And “preverts”? Who are you, Colonel Guano?
Better pic: http://www.nowpublic.com/sports/eliza-kruger-facebook-photo
Better pic: http://www.nowpublic.com/sports/eliza-kruger-facebook-photo
Is there an unspoken rule you have to jerk off every time you leave a comment on the internet?
Is there an unspoken rule you have to jerk off every time you leave a comment on the internet?
If that’s the best you can get when you are the starting quarterback for a NFL playoff team, there goes my motivation to be a pro player…..
If that’s the best you can get when you are the starting quarterback for a NFL playoff team, there goes my motivation to be a pro player…..
Framed copy of his “Broadway Schmo” NYP cover beside his bed on the floor. Other than that, I have no concerns.
It’s not really a rule, more of a life choice.
no, but the crowd doth protest too much, methinks
Now, now. You’ve read all about those concussion stories. Maybe Mark’s brain has been so damaged that he no longer has good decision-making ability without a coach telling him what to do.
You know, now that you mention it, she is pretty fat.
we prefer the rusty trombone
~ CS and DK
Waiting for the Vince Young/Aaron Rodgers nuptuals…
Seriously, you’re an ass. This is why females in our country have eating disorders. This girl is far from fat.
Take that Emma Lasry!!!
~ Eliza
Take that Emma Lasry!!!
~ Eliza
Take that Emma Lasry!!!
~ Eliza
U mad u mad
I hope this is sarcasm. If not, you’ve definitely got to be a fatty too.
I hope this is sarcasm. If not, you’ve definitely got to be a fatty too.
actually, I’m one of those women who other women hate because I can eat what I want and stay a size 4. (or do you think a size 4 is fat? do you prefer your women to be skeletons? or perhaps, you like the ones you can create on your video games that say what you want them to, cause those are obviously the only women that you’ll ever be with)
you mean meatspin?
you mean meatspin?
So I’ll start the market at 60/120 days until the sex tape comes out…
I stopped reading at “‘Twas”
I stopped reading at “‘Twas”
I stopped reading at “‘Twas”
I stopped reading at “‘Twas”
I stopped reading at “‘Twas”
I stopped reading at “‘Twas”
I stopped reading at “‘Twas”
I stopped reading at “‘Twas”
I stopped reading at “‘Twas”
Only when you leave a comment, Bessar.
This is cliche but that means you REALLY haven’t been here before, like ever. Take a look around. You’ll probably be offended, but we don’t care.
@guest – no one cares about you
You have *no idea* how awkward it can get on the trading floor.
Its all pink on the inside
Eli couldn’t pull a piece like this…he looks too inbred
Eli couldn’t pull a piece like this…he looks too inbred
No need to worry about that. There’s ways around it.
-E. Spitzer
How can the Jets make it to the championship when the starting quarterback is busy banging a 17 year old. He was worried about prom.
driving your new camaro to disneyland is the NKI
Surely variety is important or there would be no point dating more than one woman?
I’m with the lights on brigade, unless there are cops around.
I assume the judge’s comment refers to Marie’s time married to KK.
I can see you really pushing maximum density. See I’m not sure if you know this, but there are two kinds of fat people: there’s fat people that were born to be fat, and there’s fat people that were once thin but became fat… so when you look at ‘em you can sorta see that thin person inside. You see, you’re gonna get married, you’re gonna squeeze out a few puppies and then, uh…
“Hooked up” is not closing the deal in my book. He must be stalking her because he wants to gauge how loose her lips (no pun intended) are after he pulled down his pants to reveal a pig in a blank with a Dr. J-esque afro at which point she decided that writing her book report on “Of Mice and Men” was more urgent than 10 minutes ago.
Clearly you haven’t seen Eli’s wife….
Actually, I think this could be relevant. Is ninjina another name for cleatchaser?
New Jersey: the promised land.
- M. Chmura
THANK YOU NY JETS for embarrassing yourselves and YOUR FANS repeatedly…No respect for fans……………..
glasses on, hair down
no wait, glasses off, hair up
…I’ve made a huge mistake
Dirty Sanchez
Grenade
Disagree with your assertion that hooked up isn’t closing the deal. Yes, “hook up” is ambiguous, and that’s exactly why girls (and guys) use it……. because it doesn’t sound as slutty as say…. “i let him fuck me, and i barely remember it because i was so blacked out”
copy?
Silly to infer this is the best he can pull. He can pull just about any girl he wants from 16-30 y/o. So what if he wanted a 17 y/o on his roster? I personally find it funny.
- 24 y/o guy who wants to fuck the 17 y/o hostess at his favorite restaurant
That a boy Sanchez!
Okay, this story is crazier than Mark Sanchez taking the public relations nightmare risk of banging a 17 year old. Tell me he went after her because (in his obviously crazy mind) he thought she was hot, not because he was trying to get to papa. Or maybe its me that’s crazy for thinking anyone with assets can just call up the firm and ask to speak to the guy and get through or at least get him to call back, let alone an NFL quarterback.
xsoWNT Great blog post. Fantastic.
Wow, great article. Will read on…